Virgo Sun/Pisces Moon Male this dude is confusing sometimes...

I am a Pisces Sun/Cancer Moon woman and I have been dating a Virgo man for about a year and a half now. I would like some insight from other Virgos. At the beginning of this relationship it was total bliss on both sides. It is still great, however now comes the part of getting past quirks, etc. We do not live together, he works out of town mostly during the week and comes over pretty much every weekend. He has come over on a Friday night and left on a Saturday afternoon a few times due to needing "alone" time.

I have noticed my Virgo guy needs time to process things when we have an argument. However, we don't go a couple of hours without communication. We respect and adore each other but I think sometimes we totally misunderstand each other. I would like some advice on how best to communicate my grievances with him that won't make him defensive. I do try to keep my emotions in check, and for the most part I am successful. Sometimes though, he still has a very hard time admitting that maybe, he is the one who overreacted.

Another thing, I am a divorcee and single mom of two teenage kids. I am 6 years older than my Virgo as well. He has two children from previous relationships but he's never been married. He is very involved in my life and with my kids. However, I have yet to meet any of his family or his kids. He says it's due to our parenting style s being different. But doesn't that basically mean this relationship won't go any further than it is now?

Any Virgo insight would be much appreciated. Even those who have had relationships with a Virgo male

1.5 years even if kids are off the table meeting SOMEBODY in the fam should've happened by now @_@

Virguys don't move THAT slow for sure - has he been seriously burnt from a past relationship?

Posted by tboogie
I am a Pisces Sun/Cancer Moon woman and I have been dating a Virgo man for about a year and a half now. I would like some insight from other Virgos. At the beginning of this relationship it was total bliss on both sides. It is still great, however now comes the part of getting past quirks, etc. We do not live together, he works out of town mostly during the week and comes over pretty much every weekend. He has come over on a Friday night and left on a Saturday afternoon a few times due to needing "alone" time.

I have noticed my Virgo guy needs time to process things when we have an argument. However, we don't go a couple of hours without communication. We respect and adore each other but I think sometimes we totally misunderstand each other. I would like some advice on how best to communicate my grievances with him that won't make him defensive. I do try to keep my emotions in check, and for the most part I am successful. Sometimes though, he still has a very hard time admitting that maybe, he is the one who overreacted.

Another thing, I am a divorcee and single mom of two teenage kids. I am 6 years older than my Virgo as well. He has two children from previous relationships but he's never been married. He is very involved in my life and with my kids. However, I have yet to meet any of his family or his kids. He says it's due to our parenting style s being different. But doesn't that basically mean this relationship won't go any further than it is now?

Any Virgo insight would be much appreciated. Even those who have had relationships with a Virgo male

Of you wrote all the above then your capable of talking to him.

His kids not even meeting yours yet is bad news. He has no future plans with you as I see it.

A man wanting a continuing relationship with a woman will surely want to meet the family.

Posted by Toti
Virgo's are complicated. They are great guys but I think they make better friends than partners. I think in any relationship honest communication is a must.if things don't change 12-18 months into a relationship, most probably they never will. Virgos do need a lot of time alone, they are very sensitive, tender and loving. But, they don't show that easily, or if ever. Talk to him about the things that are making you feel bad. It's better to know now than to waste more time on something that won't lead you anywhere.

I totally agree.

Posted by wagtail
1.5 years even if kids are off the table meeting SOMEBODY in the fam should've happened by now @_@

Virguys don't move THAT slow for sure - has he been seriously burnt from a past relationship?

Yes. His daughter's mother kept him from his daughter for a long time due to him being in another relationship and living with another girl. She took him through hell to be able to see his daughter again all while he was paying child support.

As far as his family, his dad passed when he was young, his mother passed last November, I only met her once but it's when we were friends, not as a couple. I have also met his daughter as a "friend" but not as a couple either.

Posted by sierra_
i'm a virgo sun-pisces moon female here with a pisces sun-aries moon

i like my space too and though i live with my bf

regularly for a whole week every month, i stay over at my mom's

coz it's also a way for me to make sure that we both get some space to breathe.. away from each other and men.. especially virgo men i'd imagine would like space probably even more

every couple's got their own brand of intimacy anyway

his previous relationships may be a clue to how he handles things

i still think it's weird that you've yet to meet his family when he's so involved with yours

that's not fair and you should let him know that

That is something I have mentioned to him before that I feel like I am more invested than he is being that he has a relationship with my kids but I don't with his. He does need a lot of space often and I give him that, but this is really bothering me. What I find odd is that my BFF who is also a Virgo seems to think this is completely fine and to just let him take his time with it...

Posted by Jambalaya
A man wanting a continuing relationship with a woman will surely want to meet the family.

I have spoken to him about it. I just wanted insight from Virgos to see if this is a normal thing or not. He has met my family and has a relationship with my kids, he just doesn't bring his kids around.

A year and a half isn't that long imo. As long as the communication is strong and you are working towards a future together I wouldn't trip about the timeline.

Only red flag I would imagine is he's not bringing you around his kids cause he lives and has a relationship with his babies momma. But you know him better than us so...

I probably should have been more specific. He and I were friends before we were a couple. I have me this mother once before she passed and met his oldest daughter twice but all of this was as his "friend". I have not been around them with he and I as a couple. He isn't very close to what's left of his family other than his brother. His sister lives across the country and his two girls are now out of the country for at least 3 years due to the mom's husband being stationed oversees.

Posted by LadyNeptune
Only red flag I would imagine is he's not bringing you around his kids cause he lives and has a relationship with his babies momma. But you know him better than us so...

Actually they are both married to military men and now both the girls are overseas. One has been gone since last April and the other since December. Both will be gone 2-3 years.

He was engaged once to a girl who had kids and he lived with her. At that time neither of his babies mommas were in a relationship. The girl he was engaged to had a crazy X and the mothers knew about this so they decided he wouldn't be able to see his kids. He was and is a very involved father so this was extremely stressful for him. Finally they came around only after they were allowed to inspect the home he was living with and meet both the fiances children. So after all of that... the girl he was engaged to called off the engagement and went back to her abusive X. Apparently he had a rough time coming back from that one.

Posted by tboogie
I probably should have been more specific. He and I were friends before we were a couple. I have me this mother once before she passed and met his oldest daughter twice but all of this was as his "friend". I have not been around them with he and I as a couple. He isn't very close to what's left of his family other than his brother. His sister lives across the country and his two girls are now out of the country for at least 3 years due to the mom's husband being stationed oversees.

Okay so that makes a lot more sense. He probably doesn't want to introduce you via facetime and prefers to do it in person. Plus he's prolly thinking if its meant to last then after those 3 years are up timing will be right.

Best thing to do is communicate how you feel so he can reassure you.

I think it has more to do with my insecurity feeling like something must be wrong with me versus him just being extremely cautious. I have brought it up, and did so before the kids left but he said he wasn't ready for that. I think he thought that I may be hiding part of who I am and he wanted to be sure I wasn't before he did that. Also, my teenage daughter had a suicide attempt and has some mental health issues. That's really when the wall hit. After that any hint of bringing his kids around ceased. I think he was about to make that move when that occurred. His concern is if it were to happen again, his daughters seeing and and going back and relaying to mom what they saw and him once again, not being able to see his kids. I hope that makes sense..

Posted by tboogie
I think it has more to do with my insecurity feeling like something must be wrong with me versus him just being extremely cautious. I have brought it up, and did so before the kids left but he said he wasn't ready for that. I think he thought that I may be hiding part of who I am and he wanted to be sure I wasn't before he did that. Also, my teenage daughter had a suicide attempt and has some mental health issues. That's really when the wall hit. After that any hint of bringing his kids around ceased. I think he was about to make that move when that occurred. His concern is if it were to happen again, his daughters seeing and and going back and relaying to mom what they saw and him once again, not being able to see his kids. I hope that makes sense..

Yeah that makes sense.

Just be kind to yourself because its not all about you. Its about his history with his ex's that is coloring this. Him being cautious and getting his ducks in a row is admirable.

Posted by Ixion
Okie doke op...so I read through...to preface I am a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon, with a Cap Asc, I also have a Gem Mars and a Leo Venus. For what its worth you can use that profile to cross reference as you need to.

Your situation is complex but not overly so imho. Is it normal? I would say it sure is but not necessarily because he is a Virguy.

I will say this though we do move slowly...and I would say this especially when it comes to whether or not to integrate you into the family.

I have had partners that have met the fam but is about where it ended for many of them...

You see, I had them meet her for introduction's sake, to satisfy both her initial curiosity and that of my Mother and sisters...

Its not to say that I don't want her closer but it is because I love my family dearly and I don't want to send false signals to the family to start to care and look out for her (and for her to begin to learn who they are and begin to deeply bond with her and rely on her) when she may not be someone I can solidly rely on. I don't have kids but I would be even more cautious in exposing my little ones to a new partner not so much because of my past partners but because of the potential for hurt and upset in both my life and my child's in doing so...especially since the homelife of the child is already disjointed I wouldn't want to confuse them more by putting someone that "does all the things Mommy would do" into their life and then (if things fall a part) taking it all away unexepctedly (granted that scenario can happen at anytime but is so much more likely earlier on rather than later on)...I imagine that powerful emotions on the Piscean end of things would also give him pause. I would say just enjoy the deep levels of satisfaction that you have with just him as the relationship progresses and strengthens and you and his level of interdependence organically develops it will happen........



So while she will meet the fam typically in that first year...and will likely be my date for family functions as early as 6 months in.....as far as regular contact with my family that places you in a position of familiarity with them it will absolutely (and necessarily) happen but it won't happen all at once...unless the vibe is just too real.

Barring that it will be a slow drip and climb to wifey long term committed partner levels of interaction.

I greatly appreciate your insight. His family is not that close and they don't typically have family functions. It's just him and his brother and his grandparents at this point, so there's not much to do there. I just think I would like to at least have dinner or something with them. I keep feeling as though maybe he's embarrassed by me to some extent or isn't proud to be with me which is why he hasn't. I express this and he says that's not the case at all, but doesn't really provide a solid reasoning as to why. The only thing he provided details on is the kids and why he kept them away.

I actually understand his caution with the kids which is why I explained to him that I feel I am more vested because if we cease to be a couple, it's not just my own heart that I will be mending. But that's the difference I guess when your kids live with you versus when they don't. He has that option to keep his kids at bay, for me, if I wanted to spend time with him it would have to involve my kids as well. I did wait a good 8 months before I started hanging with him while my kids were around though, so I do get it.

Strange thing about that powerful Pisces emotions, that's one of the things that made him fall in love with me, yet it also gives him pause, probably when it's not involving the loving side of things lol

Posted by tboogie

Posted by Jambalaya
A man wanting a continuing relationship with a woman will surely want to meet the family.

I have spoken to him about it. I just wanted insight from Virgos to see if this is a normal thing or not. He has met my family and has a relationship with my kids, he just doesn't bring his kids around.

click to expand

Try to get him to bring his kids around.

hmm.. then he is just being cautious

it's got nothing to do with you but more on how it's going to affect his children

you already know exactly why he's cautious but at the same time you're letting yourself delve on your insecurities.. which you really shouldn't.. can't believe i'm saying this but don't overthink it



Honestly this is what the logical side of me tells me to do, so it makes total sense. When I remove my emotions from the equation it doesn't seem that complicated...

Also, thank you for remaining positive on this post, much appreciated.

Posted by Jambalaya

Posted by tboogie

Posted by Jambalaya
A man wanting a continuing relationship with a woman will surely want to meet the family.

I have spoken to him about it. I just wanted insight from Virgos to see if this is a normal thing or not. He has met my family and has a relationship with my kids, he just doesn't bring his kids around.

Try to get him to bring his kids around.

click to expand

Well as of right now they are overseas for the next two years at the very least. So I am going to suggest a dinner date next time his sister is in town and see what the response is. Other than this one issue, our relationship is phenomenal.