Virgo Unhinged...

Ok so after reading the comments from non-Virgos over the past few days I've decided to try to step out of my Virgo box and attempt a new approach.
I was deep in day 5 of my slow fade from the bull, while I analyzed if he's worth the possible pain dealing with him can bring. But the bull has been fighting my fade hard with many texts, calls emails etc and I have to admit it sucked not talking to him regularly. So he finally gets hold of me (long story) and we decide to meet. It was definitely nice to see him and made me realize I really like this guy. As soon as he saw me he picked me up and carried me around hugging me hard. So we talked for a while and he questioned why I stopped responding to him and I explained what was going on in my head as best as I could. He did something that kind of shocked me, he asked me for a compromise. He asked that I at least respond to his texts while I'm MIA because it hurts when he doesn't even get a response. This took me by surprise as he's been pretty reserved with his emotions as well...preferring to let it out in small doses. I apologized for ignoring him and asked him to not stop texting and calling me when I go into these moments because even though I can't respond it really does make me feel good when I see his calls and text. I agreed to make the effort of some response. So we vegged out and watched movies, but I noticed he was just so emotionally open I could tell he was really making an effort and that meant a lot to me. So a lot more happened that I won't bore you with but by the end of it I think I've decided to TRY not to do my Virgo over-analyzing disappearing act on this guy. I still need to analyze and I'll still pull away when I get scared but I'm going to try not to pull all the way away. I can see that other signs are really taking this Virgo behavior hard and I like this guy enough to fight with my fears, analyze and give it my best attempt not to fade away when ish gets too real. I mean bulls are known to pull disappearing acts and he has never done that to me so I guess I could try to extend him the same courtesy. It's already hard; so much happened yesterday that I need to mentally process and dissect I want to disappear for a few days to calculate all of this data and decide what's real and what's fake. BUT I'm going to try to multi-task with this guy and get over my fear of losing control. This should be interesting. Any other Virgos ever try to do this? If so, did it work? Just curious.

@TheMoodyVulcan I've got soo much going on in my head right now I feel like I'm leaking information. I really need to find some peaceful moments to sit in a quiet room and think for many days...But I digress. I'm just going to take it one day at a time, the more of my trust he earns the easier I find it to want to compromise and at least try.

@CluelessCancer I used to be huge into meditation but I got so busy I just stopped. My mind was a lot quieter back then I really do miss it. I thought about picking it back up but my mind is so scattered right now trying to clear it would be a feat of impossibility. Maybe I'll try a meditation class to train myself back into it. Yea he seemed so bothered by it I felt compelled to try a new approach.

Posted by neuroticvirgoIt's already hard; so much happened yesterday that I need to mentally process and dissect I want to disappear for a few days to calculate all of this data and decide what's real and what's fake.

i usually fall slowly, but most often than not its a gut feeling, if gut says no, there must be something.

Posted by memyself

Posted by neuroticvirgoIt's already hard; so much happened yesterday that I need to mentally process and dissect I want to disappear for a few days to calculate all of this data and decide what's real and what's fake.

i usually fall slowly, but most often than not its a gut feeling, if gut says no, there must be something.

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but then again for a virgo such as me, it can also just mean anxiety/panic/unwillingness to just feel and not think 🙂, that's me atleast.. am thinking even while typing this that maybe it's just the fear of taking RISK, the risk of maybe the relationship not working out in the end but being ok with atleast just trying. guess this is where most signs can be happier, where they go in without worrying about the end result and have fun on the way 🙂 for me i might stop myself just imagining an imaginary end..

@memyself I feel the same way! I normally try to go with my gut but I'm soo deep into my anxiety/panic/push-pull I barely even trust the things I see with my own eyes and hear with my own ears. 1 day at a time is ALL i have at this point. I REALLY wish I was one of this people who could just go with the flow and not have an INTENSE fear and need to know "how it's going to end" I guess thinking like that insinuates that it's going to end. The problem with me is the more I like a person the more I get freaked out that it's gonna end in tears and the more I try to push that person away early so that I don't feel that possible pain.

On a positive note the bull has planned a V-Day surprise! I don't celebrate V-day (corporate propaganda) so I never even mentioned plans to him or bought him a gift. Luckily I caught wind of something cooking earlier today (Virgo) and ran and got him a little something awesome! Gotta get cute!

Posted by neuroticvirgo
On a positive note the bull has planned a V-Day surprise! I don't celebrate V-day (corporate propaganda) so I never even mentioned plans to him or bought him a gift. Luckily I caught wind of something cooking earlier today (Virgo) and ran and got him a little something awesome! Gotta get cute!

great, good for you 🙂 i love thoughtful actions and love doing thoughtful things for someone i love. it's all in the small small things! have fun with your bull. i've recently started understanding how much a virgo and bull can get each other, maybe it takes a bull to make a virgo throw caution to the wind and run wild 😉 or atleast make them want to :p ENJOY!!

great, good for you 🙂 i love thoughtful actions and love doing thoughtful things for someone i love. it's all in the small small things! have fun with your bull. i've recently started understanding how much a virgo and bull can get each other, maybe it takes a bull to make a virgo throw caution to the wind and run wild 😉 or atleast make them want to :p ENJOY!!



haha you may have a point. I was at his house the other night and he got up to clear the plates and took my drink. I immediately started to freak out about not being done with it. He didn't respond he just went to the kitchen and added ice to it. I felt like an idiot. He politely said you really need to learn to let go and relax. Has anyone ever told you to just shut up and calm down? No? Well let me be the 1st. Literally the best way to handle that situation, cause since then i've been TRYING to shut up & calm down. Never dated a bull before but he seems to be un-phased by the craziness that is me! lol

Posted by neuroticvirgo

haha you may have a point. I was at his house the other night and he got up to clear the plates and took my drink. I immediately started to freak out about not being done with it. He didn't respond he just went to the kitchen and added ice to it. I felt like an idiot. He politely said you really need to learn to let go and relax. Has anyone ever told you to just shut up and calm down? No? Well let me be the 1st. Literally the best way to handle that situation, cause since then i've been TRYING to shut up & calm down. Never dated a bull before but he seems to be un-phased by the craziness that is me! lol

yes, i can understand where you are coming from. +1 for 'he seems to be un-phased by the craziness that is me'. yes, it is a wonderful feeling to have someone get the real you beneath that tough restless exterior. i keep reading that bull and virgo are soul mates. they get us, and we get them. u can tell that beneath the i am a bull, i don't tolerate bull, is a soft, caring, love craving heart. i am a hopeless romantic and a bull would mock me for that, but i guess only a bull would get that about me, and maybe even bluntly ask me to wake up from my dream haha

Thank you for sharing Neurotic 🙂

Very interesting insight into the processes that goes through your heads, in some ways similar to a Scorpio...

Posted by neuroticvirgo

.... he questioned why I stopped responding to him and I explained what was going on in my head as best as I could. He did something that kind of shocked me, he asked me for a compromise.

He asked that I at least respond to his texts while I'm MIA because it hurts when he doesn't even get a response. This took me by surprise as he's been pretty reserved with his emotions as well...preferring to let it out in small doses.

I apologized for ignoring him and asked him to not stop texting and calling me when I go into these moments because even though I can't respond it really does make me feel good when I see his calls and text. I agreed to make the effort of some response.

I still need to analyze and I'll still pull away when I get scared but I'm going to try not to pull all the way away. I can see that other signs are really taking this Virgo behavior hard and I like this guy enough to fight with my fears, analyze and give it my best attempt not to fade away when ish gets too real.

1. why is it shocking that a person would ask for a compromise? Is the natural, un-shocking, state for you to be one-way and selfish? If a person is shocked that one would compromise (which means share), then that means the person is normally selfish.

2. why did it surprise you that you ignoring someone who cares about you would hurt that person?

3. you stated that you can't respond, then next sentence stated you agreed to make more effort to respond ... so in reality, when you stated that you "can't" do it, that was actually a lie. Can't and won't isn't the same. You told him you can't, but you could, you just didn't want to.

Be honest, Virgo .... that includes to yourself.

4. you said you can see that other signs find it hard to deal with this kind of behaviour, and so you have decided to do better .... which is a backwards way of admitting that this behaviour that people see is wrong.

In summation .... you are all over the place here, and seem to not have much controlled thought or feelings. So, my question to you is: if you really need all this time in the space of your head, then what are you doing in there, if you aren't gaining control over yourself?

1. why is it shocking that a person would ask for a compromise? Is the natural, un-shocking, state for you to be one-way and selfish? If a person is shocked that one would compromise (which means share), then that means the person is normally selfish.

2. why did it surprise you that you ignoring someone who cares about you would hurt that person?

3. you stated that you can't respond, then next sentence stated you agreed to make more effort to respond ... so in reality, when you stated that you "can't" do it, that was actually a lie. Can't and won't isn't the same. You told him you can't, but you could, you just didn't want to.

Be honest, Virgo .... that includes to yourself.

4. you said you can see that other signs find it hard to deal with this kind of behaviour, and so you have decided to do better .... which is a backwards way of admitting that this behaviour that people see is wrong.

In summation .... you are all over the place here, and seem to not have much controlled thought or feelings. So, my question to you is: if you really need all this time in the space of your head, then what are you doing in there, if you aren't gaining control over yourself?



Hi @P-Angel to answer your questions:
1. I wasn't shocked because I am selfish, I was shocked because he has his own tendency to act un-phased which would make me feel like if I did leave the situation he really wouldn't care too much about losing me. I was shocked that it seemed to bother him so much and I was shocked at his suggestion to compromise because he is a typical bull, he only does what he wants to do so the word compromise coming from him threw me for a loop and let me know that he's really invested in this thing.
2. In my own over-analytical neurosis & panic I've been on the fence about whether he actually cares. So yes I was shocked to see how much he cares.
3. Yes in this sentence can't for me is used where a more rationale person would use won't. In my mind I am not not responding to be an azz. I literally have nothing to say and the act of responding escapes me. So for me even if it's selfish it's can't. I agreed to respond because I don't want to hurt someone I care about and who cares about me. But it will be an act of over-riding what comes natural to me and it will be hard. Sometimes I'm just so deep in my hole that the act of reaching out...I dunno it's just a block. I can't properly explain it.
4. No I am openly admitting

Posted by uker83
For me, it's just a sense of peace in my mind and heart to over pick things. I love the logic and point A to B in things, I don't have room for a grey arrea. SO, for him to say don't stop texting him and he grabbed you up...yeah it's a good sign. I think bulls are pretty straight forward in what they want, but watch out for little white lies..I've delt and am still dealing with an ex bull...and trust me the little white lies added up. Just be careful and do your best virgo work. I've learned in the past week what I want and don't want in relationships, and trust me your doing fine by over analyzing things..it's just who we are and what we do!

You know these boards have been both helpful and hurtful to our progress. There are just SOOOO many post about the Taurus male being the devil reincarnate with a mighty harem of women and an indispensable supply of lies that it literally FREAKED me out and made me not trust him before we even really got started. I've never dated a bull before so I had no idea what to expect, but he is very charming, attractive and he has the Taurus pull which freaked me out as well and made me just want to leave the situation before it really got started. I've done so much Virgo research on this guy and I know so much stuff it's insane how much a Virgo can find out when she puts her mind to it. Its scary though; trying to make something work with someone whose sign has a history of being awful. I guess the same could be said about Virgos though. All I can do is hope the sign doesn't make the man and that he doesn't prove the boards right in the long run...fingers crossed!

@LadyScorpio I'm glad it helps!

Sorry @P-Angel I didn't realize it cut me off:

4. No I am openly admitting that it's wrong of Virgos to behave this way. This whole post is about me realizing that I'm hurting someone I care about and agreeing to work to no longer do that. I'm not perfect and this is one of my flaws, I could have told him to suck it up this is just me either deal with it or move on. Instead I'm trying to own my ish and compromise. It's a process.

YOU ARE SO RIGHT I am all over the place, hence the need to take time to reflect. My analysis is sooo far from being complete and until it is I will be a mass of mental and emotional contradictions...period, that's just the way it is. Some people just come to it and then it's all roses and lollipops from there on. I'm not like that, the process of opening my heart and fully trusting someone takes a LONG time and the more I like a guy the longer and more insane I am. AND I REALLY like this guy so I'm at my most neurotic right now...not pretty! I hope this helps! :-)

@TheMoodyVulcan loving you right now!

Wrong might be a poor choice of words but I am accepting that my disappearing is hard on him. I'm not vowing to never disappear again more so just to try to at least reach out via text when I do. I have to deal with things my way to function and so does he but I think we can both compromise a little for the benefit of the other person. Now if I find that I can't keep this compromise then he will have to decide if he wants to continue things with me and I will have to be willing to accept that that answer might be NO.

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan

Posted by neuroticvirgo
@TheMoodyVulcan loving you right now!

Wrong might be a poor choice of words but I am accepting that my disappearing is hard on him. I'm not vowing to never disappear again more so just to try to at least reach out via text when I do. I have to deal with things my way to function and so does he but I think we can both compromise a little for the benefit of the other person. Now if I find that I can't keep this compromise then he will have to decide if he wants to continue things with me and I will have to be willing to accept that that answer might be NO.

Your logic is strong. *bows with clasped hands*

Now go get your man! lol

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*ninja bows* I'm on it! Wish me luck...lol

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by neuroticvirgo
@TheMoodyVulcan loving you right now!

Wrong might be a poor choice of words but I am accepting that my disappearing is hard on him. I'm not vowing to never disappear again more so just to try to at least reach out via text when I do. I have to deal with things my way to function and so does he but I think we can both compromise a little for the benefit of the other person. Now if I find that I can't keep this compromise then he will have to decide if he wants to continue things with me and I will have to be willing to accept that that answer might be NO.

So you're willing to lose someone just because you might not be able to compromise? I wonder how your logic keeps you warm at night.

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@CluelessCancer the reality is I can't be someone I'm not just for the sake of being with a man I really like. Eventually I will revert to my real self & the relationship will end in resentments on both sides. No one should try to morph into something or someone they are not just to be "warm" at night, that's what blankets are for. Just be sure you aren't willing to give up too much of your true self to be with anyone EVEN the Virgo.

Being honest with myself even in the face of heartache keeps me warm at night. I'd like to live in the land of illusions from time to time but unfortunately I wasn't built that way. Also I try to go into every situation being willing to "lose" the guy, it keeps me from giving up too much of myself to keep him.

Posted by uker83
I agree neuroticV!! to the T I agree!!!..it sucks! 😢 I'm sorry, but the stars just help you know?

Believe me if it wasn't for these same boards giving me insight into this guys behavior I'd be even more of a neurotic basket case...actually honestly I would have stopped dating him about 1 month into it...no BS. So it helps and it hurts. I can only hope you don't see a post from me a few months from not crying about how my Taurus disappeared for 2 months and came back married but tells me he'll always love me 1st and me begging you guys to convince me we still have a chance. HOWEVER if that happens please PROMISE me you will advise me drink a GIANT glass of REALITY and move the hell on!

@CluelessCancer the answer to your question is S.L.O.W.L.Y!!!! I've never been married...it's not currently on my radar right now. If it happens ok great if not that ok too.

The reality is the push/pull portion WILL eventually end and if the person makes it past this point I've found my comfort zone with them, i trust them & I know that to that man I am worth waiting and fighting for. Because of this I've only been is 2 REAL relationships (and those 2 were not settling). When the push/pull stopped they consistently got the best of me even when I relapsed into my moments of needing space. The issue here is I want to give the man I date the best of me at all times...period. But in order to do that I have to TRUST him enough to know that he won't betray it, take it for granted OR worse REJECT it. That takes time...I have a saying: Be very cautious of things that begin too quickly as they will end just as quickly. It's not a race to relationship...take your time, a man who walks that slow walk with you is surely worth keeping around for the long haul... :-)

Yes, I have. Relinquishing any amount of control in a working compromise can be the hardest thing you will have to do. But, I can truthfully say that this has done wonders for my relationship. It's a wonderful thing to be able to relax and be me with my husband to be. But communication is key. When you are wrong, admit.it. Find a way to work through things together as a couple. Every relationship takes two. There are many different ways to be with the person you let into your world. The best part is being able to intertwine yours with your partners and making it enjoyable for both of you.

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan
Because when Virgos find that special someone that can survives the initial onslaught of our analytical wrath, the push and pull steadily falls away. With the right person we can learn to trust and relax. There is no settling when this harmony is found.

+1

i'll show my vulnerabilities if i trust that someone wont make me feel weak for showing them, or use them against me. i need to trust you to open up to you.

@CC I dated a Virgo a while back, he was EXACTLY like me, we got along famously! But in the end we lacked the real romantic spark and ended up as friends. We are still friends to this day.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by memyself
i'll show my vulnerabilities if i trust that someone wont make me feel weak for showing them, or use them against me. i need to trust you to open up to you.

I like you Carrie Bradshaw, emotional, yet independent. You must have alot of cancer in your chart. I also like your open honesty.

I think maybe also your age is a factor, you seem like an evolved Virgo.

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i think the open honesty might be a a virgo thing. more than being honest i think i take everything literally. if you question me something, sometimes i might not take time to think in what context, just answer in a straight forward way. like if someone as a joke asks the opposite of what they mean to ask, it will take me time to understand that they are joking and give a straight answer before realizing they meant to ask the opposite haha, it's funny. literal is the right word. actually i never had looked at my chart, only knew that i am a virgo. but recently downloaded and looks like i have lot of aries, leo and libra in my chart. virgo sun, taurus rising, aries moon, leo venus. i think i am an earth sign for the most part. i dont even know much about aries.

Posted by CluelessCancer

I have a feeling VIRGO women are VASTLY different than Virgo men...

in what way?

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by memyself

Posted by CluelessCancer

I have a feeling VIRGO women are VASTLY different than Virgo men...

in what way?

Well for one I like you guys better🙂 lol

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haha virgo girls can be good listeners :p i love listening to my friend's stories and getting their updates, though sometimes it can be too much for the already filled virgo mind haha