When Virgos Disappear what does it mean?

I met a Virgo guy a month ago. We had an awesome first date and then I left town for the holidays for about 3 weeks. He called or TM nearly every day. Then offered to pick me up at the airport but I declined politely. He asked if he could take me to dinner the same nite and I did say yes.

We had an almost perfect date that nite but things kind of ended up in an awkward moment where He was all fired up and ready to get "busy" and I didn't let it happen. He felt embarrassed about how he came on too strong and I told him it was alright I just didn't do casual sex partners or FWB. He said everything was good and we were cool.

The next day he called and said he was sick and would be out of work for a week and the Dr. told him he should wait until the virus passes so he doesn't infect more people. Before he hung up he said I was special to him and I said the feeling was mutual. But he hasn't made any contact with me since.

I sent him a TM that nite he called to get well. The next day I TM to ask how he was and he never responded. The 3rd day I called his phone and the voicemail wouldn't allow to leave a message (maybe full). The thing is .......its been 5 days and I haven't heard from him. Is that normal disappearance time for a Virgo or should I think he's cut me off and isn't interested any more? Should I try contacting him again? When Virgo's take time off for themselves how long do they "normally" stay away? And what does it mean?

It's hard to say, Temple ..

Under normal circumstances, it's normal for a Virgo to pull away and go missing once they've realized that real feelings are involved, for they take ages to sort out emotions of this nature and have to be certain before proceeding further to the next step.

However .. these aren't the circumstances we normally encounter in here when women come in to say that their Virgo has gone missing (which is ALOT).

For three weeks you were away .. which is plenty of space time for him to valuate what you mean to him and whether he wants to move forward. When you came home, he was still there .. and aparantly had decided he wanted to move forward .. so, his gone missing never really had to take place the normal way because you left for 3 weeks.

In this time of texting everyday, the emotional side of the relationship had taken place .. he's still there.

Then when he moved in for the physical side, you pulled away and said you don't do casual sex .. in his mind, he was likely thinking, "How could this be casual. We've developed a bond emotionally over the last month?"

He's probably gone for good ..... for it's doubtful that he would consider it casual sex, yet you did .. so he probably thought that he made a mistake in trusting your intentions with him.

That's just my best guess according to the circumstances you posted ..

Thanks P-Angel, but although there was some bonding going on with the brief phone calls and TM over the last 3 weeks that was only our 2nd date in person. We're just dating and I don't feel he's "entitled" to more. But that's me and my morals. Anyway, you're probably right though he's probably gone for good. And if he is, I'm glad I didn't have sex with him since that was obviously his only intentions.

Also, good advise that I should just let it be. And if he is still interested he'll call me. I would like to know that he is feeling better but wasn't sure if I should send a TM asking if he's feeling better after all this time. If he was still interested (I can't be sure) I didn't want him to think I didn't care how he was recovering by not inquiring how he is doing.

I have puh-lenty to do to keep me busy......I'll just forget about him. I just went thru a relationship where my guy kept disappearing.....NOT willing to put up with those games again for anyone. If 5 days isn't enough time for him to go off and then come back.......then I'm done with him. Just wanted to know the reason Virgo's (this Virgo) disappeared when they seem soooo interested and then vanish.

Maybe. I understand he needed time to recover. OK... But if he needs 5 days or more to vanish and not answer texts from 5 days ago......how can he possibly still be interested? His words hint one thing but his actions say another. He could have responded with "doing better, thx". "feeling worse".... Something. But he didn't responded. It only seemed unusual because before he was always contacting me in some way almost every day for an entire month. Now...poof!

No I'm a pisces. And thanks for giving me a straight answer. I did tell him afterwards that I thought there was obviously a lot of chemistry between the 2 of us and nobody knows what will happen in the future but I look forward to exploring the possibilities with him. Hoping that he would appreciate my openness and honesty about how I feel toward him and also to not let him feel too badly about how he behaved. He said we were cool. But.....I don't know what more I could have done to reassure him I would like to keep dating for awhile and just see where it goes after a few more dates. I'm dating others too and until I feel I want to spend all of my time with just " that one special guy" until that time comes I don't want to become intimate with anyone until I figure out who that lucky guy might be. I haven't been around the Virgo guy long enough to feel that "comfortable" to make that choice. And I've never dated a Virgo so I have no idea what to expect or what was happening. Pity he's run off to feel sorry for himself he definitely did not screw up (no pun intended) with me until he vanished.

It wasn't discussed by either of us regarding our current dating situation. But I would think he would assume I would be asked out often and date regularly. (I'm very pretty) Yet, when I do get asked out I don't accept dates from just anyone. I'm very selective (again,...not something discussed). But it did come up on the first date that I prefer sexual exclusivity in a committed relationship and having casual sex wasn't my thing. It wasn't discussed in depth but....I did tell him that on the first date as he was very direct and asked me about it.

Starfish, either you are psychic and you know something I don't...(do tell) or you're right... I'll continue to be true to my own special self and I WILL also find out what kind of a guy he really is in the end!

When Virgos Disappear what does it mean?

Testing a newly discovered cloaking device!

You know that this is all bullshits.. if you are interesting enough be sure that the one you are dating will be right around the corner where ever you turn.

VIRGO or NOT..!

Yea, I am beginning to see him for what he really is a big phony. It's been a week and I've still heard nothing in response to my last contact with him. I sincerely doubt he is still recovering but after a week......he still doesn't have the courtesy to answer my text.......I'm put off by rude behavior and it kills the attraction for sure and I've lost interest now because of it. Cloaking device or not.........he's about to find out how fast I am going to disappear from HIS radar. Except, funny thing.......he probably dumped me when I wouldn't have sex with him and it took me a week to figure that out! Hmph! LOL

Good for you, but don't dare to blame on Virgoness! You must be interesting enough to be on the RADAR.

This time was Virgos, next time will be what ever..!

Qbone: ?opinions are like arsholes, everyone got one?

do you mind if i steal that for future use? LOL


Sure; why not, be my guest and fire it out in every direction needed. Seems that many of us need a reminder time to time that ?our actions are important not the opinions?.

A lot of shit comes out of those asses

That's why opinions are not matter actions and accepting theconsequences is important.

Opinions are always under the influences of the local community (communities) and some hypocrisy of influential politicians.

Its not based on (personal) thoughts and experiences.


Key word..... under influences.

What was your action with your Virgo..??

You left him..?? or still with him..??

unless they become the majority view

Talking about majorities?LOOOOOOL

DXP users at max 50 members..?? lmao.. is that the majority you are talking about to define Virgos behaviour??

Since when..?? you sounds like FAUX news pol?

*****That's another big no-no with any male...expectations...especially after only 2 dates! yikes******2 dates and a month of HIM calling ME or TM-ing ME nearly every day, for the record. It isn't entirely based upon that. It is the lack of consideration to not return 3 TM's, and a phone call asking how he is recovering in now....going on 9 days. That's just rude. Patience or not, 2 dates and a month of phone dating or not, rude is rude. The only time I don't give the courtesy of returning a phone call to someone is: stalkers, phone solicitors, and wrong numbers.

This virgo obviously thought I was special enough to call me nearly daily for the entire 3 weeks I was gone and then was so anxious to see me that he asked to pick me up at the airport (which I declined) and then pushed to see me the same day I arrived so he could take me out to dinner and a movie that same nite. After the evening concluded with him NOT getting sex and then vanishing for going into the 2nd week....I'd say he just had one intention planned the entire time and he wasn't successful and that kind of proves my theory of why he hasn't bothered to respond in a reasonable amount of time to let me know that he's ok, don't you think?

Yes, maybe you're right. It is possible that he was so deathly sick that he cannot return 1 of 2 TM's with his fingers and a phone call to tell me he is feeling better or to let me know he is ok or not ok. I sincerely do hope he is OK. Too bad there isn't a cure for rudeness tho! He could have had that checked out by the Dr. and taken something for it. LOL

It doesn't matter to me now anymore. It's a pity because I was really getting to like him more then the other guys I am meeting and going out with and until now I WAS really looking forward to returning and then spending more time getting to know him and much less or NO time with the other guys I date at all. But like I said before...rudeness is just a huge turn-off for me. So is the attempt at being used!

Not saying it's a Virgo thing because it covers anyones sign and gender.However,the patience thing you mentioned I've had plenty of exposure to that after being in an exclusive relationship with a Libra in the recent past. It's probably what has made me intolerant now to people I'm dating who like to disappear and play games.

I can't believe no other Virgo hit this note. WE ARE NOT PHONE PEOPLE!!! The fact that you got phone conversation is a HUGE sign that he likes you for more than your pretty face. We're not moved by arrogance (which you are) but we find it entertaining because we see all flaws (in ourself and others).

Your not wanting to have sex is due to insecurity (afraid you'll be used) and I see that and I respect that only because you figured it out beforehand vs. getting all mad everytime it happens. The message you probably sent to this guy is that you didn't appreciate him and he was not on the top of your list. We desire to be appreciated (offered to pick you up from the airport, dinner twice). Sex is not how we like to be thanked so his wanting to have sex with you was for intimate bonding not to get his rocks off. He's a man he can get sex.

So, he was probably sick because we are not big on lying. We tell half of the ugly truth that we can dress up to not make ourselves look bad but not many lies. However, men more than women hate rejection, it's one of their biggest fears. He knows how pretty you are that's why you caught his eye (shawty is a ten) however, that's not why you kept his interest. He saw your specialness, he hoped you saw his, but you didn't convey that you saw it just that you would continue to see if it would "appear" one day.

Virgos are visionary perfectionists. We know how its suppose to go down. It didnt go down the way he saw it happening. Killed the vision not much more you can do to start over. Our mind is not etch-a-sketch erasable. Every event has an affect and we conclude after dissecting and analyizing. So, his courtesy call to let you know he was sick was basically the, it's over speech. If we like someone we're not going to allow room to grow between us (5 days) it's not our thing to play head games. We'll say eff it in a heartbeat before we say "I moved now it's your turn" game playing wise.

If you want him back, you have to become worthy. Fascinating and better than before. We're like you with fantasy and dreams except it's seeing them play out in reality. Because you "killed it" you have to rebuild and be on your p/q's about not letting things slip through the cracks. Without realizing it you kicked him to the curve and for a Virgo our partner has to need us and see our worth. He felt you didn't and packed up because his services were no longer needed. So, you can move on or try again (really try). Up to you. 🙂

Well, interestingly enough a few weeks back I wrote him an email and thanked him for the opportunity to have gotten to know Him . Told him "the time spent with him was really great and I sincerely meant it! I went on to say that I took the additional amount of time, since our last date, since I hadn't heard from him, to evaluate whether I wanted to continue getting to know him and I didn't think it was something I wanted to pursue further.I concluded with I hoped he understood and wished him all the best."

I figured he was just playing me so why let it hang like that for me? I got a response back within 10 minutes that said, "Guess it was that bad....huh?"

I responded with telling him I wanted to be honest and truthful about the reason behind the email and went on to say I meant what I said about how great the time I spent was when I was WITH him and that the truth is that it's had been really awkward and uncomfortable not hearing from him for the last few wks & I apologized that it took me so long to realize that he probably didn't want to be bothered with me sending unwanted texts, calls, and emails because he hadn't been answering them (not many... like 3 or 4 over the course of about 2-3 weeks) so I thought I'd voluntarily stop and let him know I'd not pursue making things worse for him trying to communicate any further. I then said I thought he'd be relieved and understand .

That got no reply!. So I think I buried any chance of resurrecting that situation but although I was tempted to try I figured I was probably correct in my original assumptions since he didn't write back,called,or email since.

I really appreciated your insight MsA-- it made me think about how great it could've been but I think Capgirl has a valid point too about rebuilding. And now,.... even if I wanted to see if my assumptions were incorrect I doubt there's anyway to approach him without getting shot down again. What could I possibly say to the guy at this point to open any lines of communication again? If (BIG if) I had been wrong about him I'm pretty sure my last email may have done irreparable damage to his ego.

I think about him often still but I don't know how Virgos react to something like that or at all forgiving. I was hoping my openness and honesty might account for something with an explanation to the reason I wrote the email but......apparently it doesn't matter. His lack of response to it only validates,for me, that I was correct:he was just playi

*****The message you probably sent to this guy is that you didn't appreciate him and he was not on the top of your list. We desire to be appreciated (offered to pick you up from the airport, dinner twice). Sex is not how we like to be thanked so his wanting to have sex with you was for intimate bonding not to get his rocks off. He's a man he can get sex.****** Really, I did appreciate him and I told him often how much I appreciated his thoughtfulness and I was very specific in what things were endearing to me. In fact, the next day after our 2nd date he called when i was with my friends and he asked me if I had told them about what had happened the night before and I told him only yes.

He asked me if I told them about what had happened and I told him truthfully no that was private but what I told my friends was how much I adored how thoughtful he was to arrange in advance a table at the restaurant that over looked the Xmas lites and gave us the illusion that we were the only ones dining since the seats were placed with our backs to everyone else. Also, I told him how much I really liked that when I went to watch a movie at his him he offered me fuzzy socks to put on and to removed my high heals to be comfortable. How attentive he was to me was really special and made all my friends envious. so, I would have thought from those comments he would clearly have known how much his efforts were appreciated.

*****Every event has an affect and we conclude after dissecting and analyizing. So, his courtesy call to let you know he was sick was basically the, it's over speech. If we like someone we're not going to allow room to grow between us (5 days) it's not our thing to play head games. We'll say eff it in a heartbeat before we say "I moved now it's your turn" game playing wise.**** This is what I picked up on!! I think he felt so humiliated and embarrassed he couldn't get past his behavior from the 2nd date no matter how much I reassured him it was ok. It obviously...wasn't ok.

******Because you "killed it" you have to rebuild and be on your p/q's about not letting things slip through the cracks. Without realizing it you kicked him to the curve and for a Virgo our partner has to need us and see our worth. He felt you didn't and packed up because his services were no longer needed. So, you can move on or try again (really try)***** I don't think there's anything left in the "Damage Control Dept". that could fix it now.

I actually didn't know you had shown your appreciation to him. You're a woman so I would expect you to be good with that. It's men that have the problem with responding gratefully to thoughtfulness and gestures. I would say that he is a man first and a Virgo second.

Like I tell my girlfriends and myself, when a man (or anyone) is acting unreasonable (reasonably) it usually has less to do with us and more to do with them. Don't blame yourself for the way things went wrong. More than likely there was a lot of miscommunication and things were not said in good timing. Virgos tend to hold back when they don't feel secure that things will go in their favor (it's why we think on things so much). He probably didn't feel secure in his place with you and trying to "put it on you" was his way of hoping to answer the question (that he means something special).

However, reading the latest, 3 weeks is a long time to try and figure things out. You hung in there (like we women do) for a good enough time. I wouldn't say for you to wait any longer. I know you're not quite over him which if you move on he may try to come back. We usually don't though.

I rarely go back to an ex. I have later dated men I knew platonically when we cross paths again (having lost touch). But, as far as an ex no. You're not a real ex of his so there is still hope. If he wanted to know you that way then he will not lose those thoughts/feelings it is just going to take him to get past the woman who he didn't succeed in getting to know and seeing you as a different person (someone who won't reject him). That's what I meant by rebuild not like change who you are. But, the image he sees you as (the rejector).

Let it ride for now, get to know some of those other guys. Who knows Virgo man might have done you a favor by getting out of the way. Everything happens for a reason and every experience is to promote growth. 🙂

Thanks, that was very helpful and good to know. I am enjoying my time getting to know others and as you pointed out "I'm not a real EX gf" since we were only dating a couple of times. But there seems to be some kind of nagging doubt with me when I hear that maybe I misjudged his distancing because he was really attracted to me. It's still rude behavior to not return calls and such. I had NO IDEA talking on the phone was something Virgo's don't like. He had me fooled on that because he called me often (before the 2nd date) and we talked sometimes for hours. However, I thought my second email to him(explaining why I wrote the first one) would have eliminated doubts in his mind that I was rejecting him as not being special. I did tell him in the email time WITH his was great and I told him that I meant it. I just felt his distancing was his way of telling me HE wasn't interested. So, I'd stop bothering him since he wasn't responding to my initiations of contact.

I don't know. I really wouldn't mind trying to get to know him again. He seemed very special to me. We got along so well. (or is that just my imagination because he made me feel that way?) It was felt his sudden distancing was the reason it made me feel rejected by him that brought this all about in the first place. What kind of effort would you recommend that he would respond to after all of this if I were to try to rebuild something if it's still there for him? Do you think he's closed the door for good now? Any contact from me might just seem pathetic to him and that is NOT the message I want to send or the intention I want behind it if I did try to test the waters.

But CapriGirl, you make me think and re-think.....if he doesn't appreciate ME then......why bother a second time? How DO Virgos show their appreciation—? Is distancing and rudeness part of the silent "thank You's" I wasn't aware of?

caprigirlwithvirgo: "Silly, it's never virgo's fault!
I would "RE-BUILD" some where else where I am appreciated and where it's not ALL MY FAULT!

Virgos will NEVER grow up. Why does it have to be some one else always bending? I sincerely hope, wish and pray , most of you virgos never have any one really loving you in your lives! Most of you DO NOT deserve it.

PERIOD."

Just like your last word, somebody must be on her PERIOD.

First of all, no one is perfect. If you didnt know now you know. Virgo's motto is "Perfect is almost good enough" so in our minds WE'RE not even perfect. So, as far as fault goes... He knows he made a bad choice in trying to rush things with her. That's where the problem came in. Otherwise, this thread would not even be here.

Secondly, we are not little children or characterized as immature. we are critical, overly analytical, worriers, and sometimes emotionless. So, your statement to grow up, well only one person caught a temper tantrum in here. Surely was not moi...

Third, I told her that it was her decision as to whether or not she wanted to try and rebuild with him. If you step out of your own insecurities for a minute maybe you would have seen that rebuilding her image was based on the fact of who he now sees her as. Who she really is attracted him to her.

If I don't make sense. Too bad so sad. 🙂

To be honest I can't speak for all Virgo's. My mom is currently on my Hallmark card list for all special gift giving occasions. Because though she likes and appreciates the thought of my gifts they are all in boxes. The Steel Hand mixer that I forked out $ 200 for. The Heart music box with all of her 6 childrens birth stones on it (emusicalgifts.com), clothes, jewelry, perfume, porcelain dolls that she loves (they're in a case in her room not on display for others to see. She doesn't like being on my card only list but she understands why.

Myself, I embarrass easily so I dont like PDA's however I am prim and proper so I know how to put on the show of gratitude no matter who is giving me something. I just don't like attention so it's forced because I don't think I deserved a standing ovation for much. When my children give me something or my beau I say thank you and rave about it for a second or two.

My son's dad he says thanks and shares what use the gift will get. My sister puts in special request that are extravagant so if you get it for her she can't help but show her appreciation. But for the most part it's "Thanks" short, sweet and simple. But its not that we're not grateful its just that we don't know how to accept things coming to us because we're usually the one making sure the all human kind has it's oxygen. Service is what we are comfortable with not being served.

Boy, I can type a lot lol.

I would say start with something simple. Do you have any funny text forwards? I mean don't send them all to him. But I would send the funniest one that is guaranteed to make him smile. He doesn't have to show you the smile though. Baby steps. So don't get discouraged.

If you know things he likes, sports, comedians, etc. send him an email with link info regarding an event. Never fish for responses. He has to come around so you'll know he's sincere and not being polite. You can include other people in some emails so he won't figure out you're targeting communication with him.

Lastly, we live to be helpful. So, if you have a believable problem that you know he would be interested in helping you figure out a solution to. Call him up and ask for advice. Be light and easygoing when you talk to him so that he doesn't have time to focus on the past blunder of his because he is wondering if you are. A compliment or two (not overly but how you know he's good with that subject he's advising would help to boost his confidence that you see him as a real person.

In addition, ask him about things that are going on in his life without fishing for relationship status. Act interested but not too interested. Respond to what he shares with "oh ok" or "that's nice" or "wow, you must be excited, happy, relieved". End the conversation with something that indicates he should keep in touch. "It was good to hear from you again" or "It's good to have someone to call with these kinds of things, if I can return the favor, I'm here". You want to put it in his head that you two are cool as friends in your eyes.

Don't mention the downhill stuff from the past. If he brings it up (which we tend to be a little bitter and unforgetting) explain briefly what happened and you might want to prepare a simple answer that says it all prior to topic arising (if it does).

Now, baby steps is my motto for rebuilding something. So, whatever you do you want to start out with the thing that requires the least of him and then move up from there.
Sounds like a lot of work? It is, and that's what starting over's about. Building his confidence in your intentions which are good.

Depending on his response if it's a definite green light mention doing something easy and sweet like going for a walk in the park, or at monuments in your city and at night of course. Suggest a Saturday night but no pressure. Allow him to get back to you in good time. If he doesn't then move on. Good riddance!

Thank you MS-A for all that you wrote. It is very helpful and it would be nice to extend the olive branch to him again if only to show that I am sincere in letting him know I still think he's a great guy even though he may no longer want to date me.

It doesn't sound like hard work at all. It's great advise. It's basically the same effort I would put into anyone I wanted to be friends with (and that would be ok too if he wasn't interested romantically anymore). So thanks again for the suggestions they were all very helpful!!!

If I do get a response.......I'll bring this thread back up and let you all know!! Who knows,......maybe he'll respond right away—?

Starfish, you're looking from the outside. We all have had feelings for someone we deemed worth the work. So, let's not make like we're not human. When you get married it's WORK, you have to work on everything that comes against you in order to hold on to your marriage. Relationships of any kind is practice.

***********
Susan L. Taylor Editor Director of Essence Magazine discussed (February 2008 issue) her 4th book called All About Love and in the interview a question came up that led to a very moving answer from Taylor. It follows.


Question: What do you think is the key to happy, long-lasting relationships?

Answer: ?Beyond procreation, the main purpose of coming together in a love relationship is to learn how to give, trust, forgive, live in harmony with another person and deepen our relationship with God. As my beloved Khephra (her husband) says, ?Love isn't passive. It's active.?
***********


What I got from that was that love is active, and therefore should be filled with the practice of giving, trusting, forgiving, living in harmony with another person (your beloved) and getting in touch with yourself on a deeper level spiritually.

Basically, she outlined the reasons for being in a relationship and giving your all to it. Everyone may not agree with it but I do. Will the purpose ever change? I sure hope not, because that's just too beautiful.

So many people don't know how to do the majority, if not all of those things. So, any practice is good practice. So, too much work you say? It's not just about the other person, it's for you too. If you practice giving up and walking out then you will always give up and walk out. If you practice endurance, you will always know that its in you to endure.

No matter what the obstacles or how impossible it looks. I'm not saying that everyone should take on all challenges but if its something you want and its good for you then go for it and if its meant for you you will have it, if it's not you lose nothing because the lessons from experience (good or not good) are priceless.

Just food for thought. 🙂

Yes you are right Starfish but as stated.......if he doesn't respond......then "good riddance" People usually show you who they are right away. We should believe them when they show us the first time and not wait to have it repeated and repeated. This just seemed more of an opportunity to clear up any "misunderstanding". The response,......or lack of one will clear up any confusion.

I followed the good advise to send out a funny email I received to a few people adding his name so he'd not think I was singling him out.

**How DO Virgos show their appreciation—?**

By doing things for you... like pick you up from the airport. Basic stuff. Nothing flashy. Just by being there to do the little things. Try, try, try not to make the job something like paying a bill... that can be easy, but leads to awful thoughts of being only a piggybank. MsA has it right... Virgos want to be needed.. not merely wanted... needed. Don't expect a lot of gushy emotional displays except at the beginning. Sooner or later most Virgos hit a rhythm and the emotional displays fade away. This doesn't mean the love isn't there. As long as the Virgo is still willing to do things for you, it's love. To question their love when the things are "being done" means you don't see the things he does because of love. You want to know how to get to that Virgo? Ask him to do something for you. You seem pretty self sufficient.. that is hard for a Virgo. You leave them with no way in. Act the damsel in distress every now and again and watch the Virgo charge in to save the day.

A quick bit about the phone. Yes, the phone is a lovely medium for communication, but you miss those lovely non-verbal parts! Actual visual reactions to how you are feeling in real time! Yes, he loved talking to you every day.. he got to think he had something very intimate going on, but nothing beats being face to face. Virgos are nothing if not pragmatic. If to be with you has to be over the phone, then the phone it is! If he stopped using the phone and text.... either the phone bill didn't get paid, his hands were broken, coma, or it's over. Silence is preferable to the harshness of a formal breakup, but that's not unique to Virgos. In a way, it saved a future possibility.

Another thing is emotions. If he was too wound up over you, it would drive him bananas. He might have taken your putting off sex for the future not only as a signal you weren't where he was relationship-wise, he might have seen it as a way to shut down from the emotional roller coaster. His inquiry into whether you had talked about him to your friends means he wants to know if the whole world knows his embarrassing incident. Yes just confirmed his worst fears. I know it sounds bad, but a Virgo is a center of calm usually. Any disturbance to that calm has to be met with an appropriate response. To have that replaced by fear, doubt, and self-recrimination is anathema to how we operate.

**How DO Virgos show their appreciation—?** Part 2

You say you are pretty, he was probably excited about the possibility of being the right guy, but he saw how much he had to lose and got caught up in it. I wouldn't worry about him though, most people go through all this.. in high school. He probably didn't. "The 40 year old Virgin" was likely based on a Virgo. Not that we are shy or prudish.. dating probably wasn't a priority back then. Think about it. Relationships are a LOT of work when you're a teenager. If you know you're likely to be getting into a heavy load of work (Virgos know work when they see it!) when so much else is going on, putting the process off until later on may seem like a great idea. This is one reason why capri may see them as immature... Virgos at times just get started late. Virgos do make up for lost time though very quickly. You may see a whole different Virgo in a few years when he finally catches up to where the rest of the world is. If you do see some things that need changing, talk about it. Say what you need from them, and be frank about it. They will let you know if it's doable. If it is, that just gives them another thing to do to show how much they care. I have only failed one time in 10 years to put the toilet seat back down. The little things are everything.

Dunetraveller I totally loved your post. (part 1 and 2) thank you for all of it and the time you took to write it!

I am not sure that Virgo guy is going to contact me at all since I sent out that email recently. I thought I'd give it a week but not even sure that is enough time for a Virgo to respond if he were going to. Not sure if Virgos have a longer process time (like Libras) to do things and if weeks or months is more likely to when he'd come around is more accurate to expect. I still hope he does but I doubt it. I'm not as sad about it as I was first on to have lost his attention after being his focus for over a month. It is what it is and I'll keep all this in mind should I ever date a Virgo again in the future.

Temple, Idk what's up with you and him still.
But seeing a girl who'd make the effort


Whenever rejected in that way, I feel like shit and feel like I'm the only one who pushes it too far and makes these stupid mistakes..

This may be pointless lol since I can't even private message you to help you out how we feel in a way, ah well.

I'm 16 and a male, so far I think its shit to be a virgo it fucking sucks

Are you really a stoner?

To speak to your original post, I disappear when I'm hurt.

A month isn't a long time to be dating but sometimes it's enough time to understand and feel a connection has been made. It sounds like your Virguy may have felt a connection and perhaps thought you felt the same way. I think you have the right to say "no" to sex. I think, however, that hearing "I don't do casual sex partners or FWB" cheapened his feelings for you and may have offended him. Things got weird between you, perhaps because he felt embarrassed and stupid that he let his guard down and got hurt.

When I'm hurt, I'm short and closed off with the person who hurt or offended me. I won't look at them when they talk to me, I will ignore them because my emotional wall goes up until I've sorted through all my feelings (in my own time) and am ready to forgive and let them in again. Sometimes it takes only a couple days to recover and sometimes it takes a couple weeks, depending. This type of reaction is sparked by only those I care the most deeply about, those I trust and those I've let in past the emotional barriers. I personally don't have "casual" feelings for anyone (virgo sun/scorpio rising) but I certainly wouldn't react this way to someone I'd just met or didn't feel something deeper for.

I think you need to be straight forward with your feelings and intentions. Him hearing "I think you're great and I enjoy spending time with you and you're special to me...but I'm going to leave you alone now because I think that's what you want" isn't a clear message. If you still want something with this man, tell him what you're feeling and what you want. Then give him time and let it be.

If he comes around, great! If he doesn't come around, then at the very least, you have more experience to bring with you to your next courting situation.

If a Virgo man disappears then he's one damn good Houdini impersonator!