This Morning

is over


but I can't help thinking...everything was so good on the way to work- the iced coffee, the spring rain and the flowery trees, that cheesy shakira song blasting from my radio, the perfect lawns and homes that I pass on central ave, that brick house that I dream about with the tudor windows...

the best part of my day only lasted a half hour

Sometimes I just get so scared thinking about what life is going to be like for me when I don't have that same ride to work...that same start to my day...







@)_(@ really keeps me up at night- ya know?

*sigh*


just noticed


this morning IS here...it is just not MINE yet

I'm terrified of having a change in my routine...just thinking about it makes me extremely anxious and very depressed...


I mean REALLY terrified


This one time, I was in the shower and I tried to change my routine- you know...just to see if I could?

I tried to wash my face first THEN shampoo/condition as apposed to the usual-more efficient- post-shampoo face wash WHILE hair is conditioning (leave in for 1 min.)

and... I- I couldn't DO IT!!!!! I got the face cloth up to my neck and just broke down and reached for that shampoo before the bad feelings could come...o_O

thanks sb...



you ARE really special you know that ? +_+

do you think this is a sun sign trait or something else?

*looks around suspisciously*

I bet my moon in virgo is working its evil ways on me...you never know where it will pop up...or- actually I do...when it doesn't pop as PLaNNED- well, that is when I get VERY worried...*bites fingernails*

o_O

lol...

are you "working" right now too?

(((o_O)))))>_-

am I bothering you??

hehe

((o_O)))))))))))>_@))!!!

Schoen, you are so lucky! I was reading your post about driving to work. I can picture the beautiful homes you drive past. The green-green lawns. The red bricks and the tudor windows. The misty morning air to breathe in. That would give me reason to wake up everyday. I wish I could see it in person.

Here is my morning. I wake up in the arms of my loving cap. Our morning stink mingling together makes for some beautiful chemistry. Then in comes our son and I instantly ask for my 'morning luvins'. We make breakfast until it's time for kindergarten. Then he gets dropped off by me 5 days a week. I come home, shower, pick up a bit, then head back to school to pick him up. We go home for 10 mins. Long enough to throw a quick snack down his throat. Then we load up into our burning hot car. The air is so hot it looks like liquid is floating on the cars. (mirages) We drive down the busiest street in town trying to avoid a wreck at every intersection. The stores and businesses are surrounded by concrete. There is a palm tree here and there to break up the grey eyesore. When we pass the tract homes they look like they are all punched out of the same cookie cutters. All the same with desert landscaping instead of green grass. With the drought here, it's tons cheaper to rock the front yard and throw in a desert tree here and there. The sky is a beautiful bleached blue from the heat. We reach day care just about the time the air condition is starting to cool off the car. Dump him off and head into work as fast as possible to avoid heating the car back up again........

I really do miss the cool mornings and the misty air. The beautiful unique homes. The green grass. As far as routine goes, hey I'm adaptable. I'll live if I had to move. I can wash my face before I wash my hair, but then the conditioner does not have time to do it's job so what's the point? I could drive a different route to work, but who likes to fight traffic either way you go? You may have to eventually find a new way to work, but at least you'll have the beautiful serene morning to follow you. That's just a little of my melancholy coming out.