The Smokin' LO_AK Cafe

tub-(*)_(*)=😢

okay

good thing -_- let the hottub guys in cause I was sleeping...

but I WAS here!!! I WAS!!!

OMG

*gasp*

DB it is soooo- so-so clean?

*pulls out water hose and finagles sewer line into hottub hook-up*

that should help...

he is PERFECT!!! thanks bling 🙂

hmmm chocoliscious!

just the way I like eeeet

*schoene suddenly realizes that she is surrounded by crickets and they have that we're-going-to -attack-w/o-reason-or-mercy-prepare-for-a-bloody-death look in their eyes*

well-actually itis just a reddish glow...I-I was being dramatic...you know us scorps and the dra-ah ah AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

MY FLESH

MY EYES- NOOO NOT THE EYES!!!!!!!!

hm...I swear that cigar smokin alcoholic baby was a blood-thirsty cricket just a minute ago....

that crackhigh lil carcASS monkey is NOT a koalacabras!!!!

koalacabras are CUTE!!!!!

didn't you know that diint you youooooo wittle siwwwy HEAD have another cigarywary- wha- you wan yer bwanky? I got yer binky wite hew
my wittle ickle babekins $ _ $

OMG

WHAHAAAA
LMAO

that looks traumatic...

WAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH that kid is scarred fof Li-ife that kid is scarred for li-ife HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*whipes away spit up $ _ $ *

thew you gooo

*prepares "sick-in -a-bottle" (TM) for $ _ $ *

witil babies need thew stwength!

*submerges baby into hottob water*

awwww int that CUTE!!! look at how he struggles!!!!!

*endearing look*

his lungs are gonna look like bubblegum after this 😉

when he stops kicking it means it's nappy time...

*reaches for swaddlings/"corpse-wrap (TM)"

*in infomercial voice* this new corpse-wrap is great! It serves ALL my death-related NEEDS!

o_O

*cradles nappy time baby in arms*

why so stiff little one??

o_O o_O o_O o_O o_O o_@ O_(@)

(@)_(@)

OMG

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*gasp*

what have I done?

*makes perfect vertical incision along chest cavity*

what?

we can't let them go to waste...

o_O

*extracts lungs with the delicate sensitivity of a surgeon's hand*

*places lungs on a dish beside a chunk of hubbabubba stawberry bublegum*

now for the side by side taste comparison!

o_O

hmmm

chewwwy...

berryliscious...

wow!

I really can't tell!

*in infomercial voice* I can't believe itsnot strawberry bubblgum!

hey...

blingayyy

you missed v101 last night...

******************************PAGE 15************************

***************************DIRTY WATER*********************

p15=-_- x (@_@) or x_x

WAHAHAHAAAHAHAAAH

mmmm

the trowel works better for applying cover-up actually...run of the mill stock standard shalack is great for filling in those gaping pores too- hardens with a nice finish but ya still gotta file it down a little...

you brits and yer damn fancy shmancy tea time

sipping english breaky and munching on yer lil babylung biscuits...

*shakes head*

*sticks rest of baby in blender after removing the eyeballs-save those for sb-picky picky*

I'm making a smoothie for lunch...ya want one?

yup yup

*adds ice to blender...ooohooo o_O no need for yogurt I see✨

when -_- gets a whiff of this freshly dismembered and coarsly blended baby...he will come RUNNING! I better save some...

*pours stawberry baby schlop into pint glass*

AHHHHH

*relaxes into hottub and feels the squish of an old soggy tampon between toes*

huh ?? what the- oh o_O

could this day GET anybetter??

o_O>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>**>*>****(-_-)

o_O (o_-)

(-_-) goes back to sleep

o_O************?_?

o_O+-_-=?_?

(@_@)

damn

slowdough

😢

okay I gotta go

it better be posted the next time I check back!!!

they are on to you -_- and your dxpslackness...

you should feel like this on the inside o_O

*a dark shadow falls over DB's computer screen- he freezes and turns around slowly...but there is nothing there*

*runs in with dark red bikini on and a towel*

*sees that no one is around*

*gets into the jacuzzi anyhow and waits*

*submerges herself to see how long she can hold her breath*

Are you going to let me die Bling?

You look very nice in a speedo. 😉

*coughing up water*

They couldn't handle it darling.

I think it got sacked because of that picture I posted.

Especially something so gorgeous like you.

Nothing I just missed you yesterday. That's all.

I don't understand this you are the only Scorpio who isn't mean to me.

Join me in the jacuzzi while the others are away. 😉

*chews on fingernail and rocks on heels*

but I'm a scorpio and I'm not mean to you 101...

*batts eyelashes*

And I think I will have to cross of Scorpios off of my hit list.

*Gives Bling a back massage*

Ms. Schoenetanz it is a proven fact that over 79% of Scorpian females are envious of Virgin women.

Strange but true fact I had to give out.

Mr. Bread why do you hate me. I thought you forgave me. 😢

Hitting me is what you call nice? Are you molding a bit Mr. Bread—

*Stops massage and pushes Bling head first into the water.*

I'm tired of doing all of the work in this relationship.

Do you think you can get me that easily?

*Feels robotic again*

Bling do you just think of me and sex together?