I need some insight and probably a blunt truth. I started seeing a Taurus man a little over a year ago. I was very clear with him from day one that I was only interested in something real and he said he was too. We took things very slow, as I’ve learned is the way with a Taurus.
We saw each other once or twice a week typically but most of the time we were spending time at his place. Part of the reason for not going out together much is because he is the high school basketball coach in our small town. One of my 2 high school age daughters is a cheerleader for the basketball team, and I’m very involved with sports boosters and things at school. We agreed that it was best to keep things private because of all the grey area there.
Things moved very slow with us and we never officially put a title on our relationship. He has 2 kids with 2 different women and has amicable relationships with both. I also have an amicable relationship with my ex husband/kids’ father so I didn’t have a problem with this. Until November.
In November, a picture was brought to my attention of him and his younger son’s mom at a party. They were standing next to each other, he had his arm around her shoulders and she was holding that hand. Now, part of me felt like it wasn’t a huge thing because I know they’re friendly and part of me felt like it crossed some boundaries. So I sent him the pic and asked about it. He had a very reasonable explanation that they are both friends with the hosts, didn’t know the other would be at the party and that she asked someone to take the pic.
But he had also previously told me that she still very much has feelings for him and brings up getting back together frequently. He said that he always tells her he doesn’t want that. So I told him that the pic looked like there was more to it than just running into each other at a party. He apologized and said he should have told me about it.
So things were fine after that for a while. He told me on thanksgiving that when he stopped by to see his son, they took a family pic together. I appreciated that he told me and we left it at that.
That brings us to yesterday. Another pic was brought to my attention. It happened to be the pic from thanksgiving. He’s sitting on the couch with his son on his lap on one side and her on the other. I was pissed. I sent it to him and basically told him I’m not interested in wasting my time if there’s somewhere else he’d rather be. I support him having good relationships with his kids’ moms, but this looks like more than that. And I said if you want me in your life, I’d also like to have good relationships with your kids’ moms. I also brought up my ex and how we get along but have boundaries, so a pic like that would never happen.
He called on his break at work to tell me this was the pic he told me about on thanksgiving. He also said he needed to think about some things and would call me later.
He called last night and told me he needs to take a step back from everything and figure his life out. He said up until that morning, he thought everything was going good between us and that he wants me. But he needs to figure out everything else. He said this isn’t what he wants. I asked if that meant we were done completely or if this was kind of on hold until he figures things out. He said he didn’t know. I asked if he wanted to be with his sons mom and he said he didn’t know. I asked what he wants from me and he didn’t know. He told me I’m everything he wants in a woman, but he needs to take a step back. He did share a lot with me that he’s never said before - to anyone. About how he wants to be more involved in his kids’ lives and he wants to change jobs and maybe quit coaching so he can watch his older son play basketball. I gave him my honest opinion about a few things. He told me he appreciates me and that means more to him than it maybe does for other people. He said he didn’t want to hurt me, he just needed to figure things out. I said I feel like I’m gonna get a call from you in 6 months and he said I’d hear from him before that but feel free to curse him out.
So I don’t know how to process this. Obviously we ended things and it hurts. This isn’t what I want. I respect that he needs to figure things out for himself and obviously if he still has feelings for his ex, I don’t want to be a second choice. I just don’t know if the things he said mean there’s any hope of him coming back to me or if I should just move on. I love him and want him in my life but I don’t want to feel like I’m convincing someone to want to be with me. Any Taurus’ out there willing to shed some light? I just don’t want to be naive and think there’s hope of this was just a nice way of saying it’s not you, it’s me. Help!