I've had my exes and hell even my current gf who has a Cancer Moon, actively deceive themselves in an attempt to resist accountability when they act in a selfish way.
butterty mood and take it out on someone else? It's the other person's fault. Not being understood, but not speaking up? It's the other person's responsibility to know what I meant. Acted like a jerk? Well if the other person didn't make me behave like an marker... Cheated or do something shady? It's the other person's fault. Giving non-apologies? How dare you not accept my insincerity.
Thing is they care...so the answer doesn't stay the same it changes with realization...but the default is defense of self instead of self-reflection and acknowledging their contribution to a negative scenario that they actively contributed to.
Victimhood on 10000...eventually they will apologize but after going through several iterations of bullbutter it damages the very relationship that they care about so much. It degrades trust, it inflames tempers...all butter that could be avoided with just a dollop of self-awareness.