I don't know how you've hung on to this type of behavior for all these years without being bored by them. You really have some staying power! He sucks. Sorry about your toe, It needs to be in working order so you can kick him in the ass!
It hasn't always been like this. And don't forget I ghosted him for a year at one point cause I was tired of him. He hunted me down lmao and he had changed....a lot. He used to be worse. And I know what's going on with him right now tbh I just don't feel like talking about it on here. He isn't an ass...but I agree he does need his ass kicked. And I do yell at him believe it or not. He is still my friend and he has been there for me when no one else has at times.
We do get along really well believe it or not. Even when we fight (which is extremely rare) we talk it out. We have never had a huge blow out fight before. Its one of the things I like about him.