Posted by Wizardz_
Op must be a Virgo 🤔 they always go into too much detail for me

Correct, Sun Virgo. Too many people with negative astrology bias on Sun Virgos that they just avoid Sun Virgos entirely too. But I'm also paired with a Gemini Rising meaning I'm extra talkative and communicative lol make for some great deep and meaningful conversations though.

Posted by Sagicorn
Some Sun sign bias is simply never going away because it's a fact for every single invidual in that sign. But, it's insane to judge every person of same sign based on what one individual did that hurt your feelings. That person might not even be mean at all but some of their actions hurt you so it certainly applies only to that person and no other insividual in that sign. Besides, your Moon is way too easy to hurt so I would take with reserve those named signs as "bad". Bad sides of a person are more tied to certain aspects or positions in chart, Sun sign never. Sun signs are general characteristics of a person and never too specific. Here's an example: friend of mine and I have same sun, moon, mercury, and venus sign but different Mars. Her Mars makes her have ideas but be too lazy to take action, my Mars combined with Moon makes me a person of action. She has Sag ASC which makes her behave more loud and easy going, my ASC in Pisces makes me more quiet and reserved. Anyway, all people I ever known from same signs always have certain characteristics same but how they act towards each other person is a matter of synastry between them and those other persons. So memorize that as well, when someone is bad to you, it doesn't mean they'll be bad to everyone else, you two just don't vibe well. Both charts play role in that. Synastry isn't just about love matches, it's about matching with anyone you interact with, regardless on the form of relationship. I also know a Sag male that is like a copy of me, we think the same, we like same things, we hate same things...I mean it's ridiculous how similar we are. But our charts aren't even much alike, mine is most similar to the female Sag I mentioned above, yet her and I are very different in many aspects. And for the end, it's very likely that persons you mentioned have Moon that doesn't compliment yours at all so that part of astrology you shouldn't ignore.

Thank you, you've made some great points here I feel like at least negative astrology bias just shouldn't be a thing, because exactly, even you realise how ridiculous it is to basically avoid a whole population of people, in this case, Sun Sign people just because you got burned by one or a few people from that Sun Sign. I've seen way too many people on different forums and on DXP do this so many times. Me being a Virgo Sun, I see people here literally openly admitting they are avoiding all Virgo Suns because they got burned by one or a few, it's ridiculous. But at the same time, I can see where they're coming from because the point of my post is me saying that's what I used to do too, and the reason behind it (and what is the same for many others who do the same) is because I had really bad unhealed trauma that I chose to keep alive in me which were caused by certain people of a certain Sun Sign.

It's only when The Universe sent me the loveliest people I got along with of that same Sun Sign, that I now realise it's truly all to do with our birth charts. This post was my awakening of that. And it's usually the people who aren't super educated enough about astrology or are casual about it and are so stubborn with holding grudges and their trauma who will have these sort of negative Sun Sign biased opinions. And I know I can't change the fact that this happens in the world, but that's why spreading awareness and truth exists doesn't it. To help more people be aware. And that's another reason why I've made this post, because if it can resonate with anyone else, I'm even more happy!

"That person might not even be mean at all but some of their actions hurt you so it certainly applies only to that person and no other insividual in that sign."
- Exactly what you said here is what I mean by unhealed past trauma. You are only offended or hurt by something when you put meaning to what they said or did through some reason in your mind. And usually that reason is because it's triggered a trauma response in you because it's reminded you about a certain traumatic event that's happened to you and caused by a certain person or people. And if that trauma isn't healed, you're probably gonna project your wounded emotions and lash out at the person who probably didn't even cause the original trauma that now you are projecting to them from, but they said or did something that triggered the unhealed trauma response within you. And sometimes, it can take years to become aware of what all of your trauma triggers and trauma responses are to truly heal them deeply. And that's why personally I think this part has nothing to do with astrology. Because abuse and trauma has nothing to do with astrology, other than how you express and deal with your trauma and emotions I guess.

so I would take with reserve those named signs as "bad".
- Not sure if there was a misunderstanding there, but just to clarify that my example and point I was making there is that these are the people from these certain Sun Signs whom I used to have huge trauma grudges on and that is what made me want to avoid people of those Sun Signs. But now that I'm in a much better place in my healing journey, again, the whole reason why I even made this post if people read it all is that now I don't hold these grudges anymore, nor do I desire revenge or want to avoid these Sun Signs in general. I'm giving people a chance from now on because now I realise the actions and words of these people who traumatised me do not reflect everyone else under that same Sun Sign. I am just doing forgiveness work now these days before 2021 is finally over. I just want to let go and move on from all of this old heavy baggage that doesn't help serve me being my best self.

Sun signs are general characteristics of a person and never too specific.
- I mean I would say that there are negative traits linked to a Sun Sign too, but it's no reason to avoid someone just based on that when we are who we are through our whole birth chart. Like I'm a perfectionist because of my Virgo Sun, and I know that bugs some people.

Lol is your friend Taurus or Leo Mars? I have Leo Mars so I can kinda relate to that, because my mind is a constant idea factory! but I also deal with anxiety/fear of the unknown leading to stalling/procrastination rather than laziness.

I totally agree, synastry is where it's at 🤟🏻 I would say the reason why you're not exactly like the girl with a similar chart to you could be because same placements don't guarantee you'll be a good or similar match. It's like two same sides of a magnet that repel instead of attract. Whereas having different placements to someone can guarantee there's better meshing of certain placements, and therefore making the match complementary with one another even if it looks different on paper.

And yeah, I think it's quite apparent why me and the Capricorn girl don't get along. I'm more reserved, soft spoken and gentle, whereas she is loud, aggressive and bold. I feel most calm with lofi and gentle meditation music and she feels most at calm with heavy/death metal music. We're a bit too different lol so Moon placements would make sense. And probably Rising and Mercury too. Because it's funny, right, how they say Virgo and Capricorn generally get along but me and her just repel each other so far lol

But I really get along and have a fun joyous time joking around with the Capricorn dude these days. We relate and bounce off of each other talking on a lot of topics too. He's more chill and outgoing with anybody. It's all in the birth charts, baby.

But the flaw in your reasoning is that keep referring to avoiding certain star signs., which I assume is the polar opposite of what you now believe. However, as I have already pointed out, you can be knowledgeable and aware BUT more weary, prudent and selective. There's no need to avoid any specific sign - just be more discerning on who you invest your time and energy with.

Of course the whole natal chart matters, but ego is ego - either you can abide with a brand of ego or you can't. For example, I don't have any personal fire placements. As a result, that makes fire star signs a challenge to deal with IRL (in the medium-term). Has that got to do with personal traumas? Nope! I just can't relate to (or fully appreciate) that energy, period, and would rather spend my time around less fiery people. Such a realisation takes years of trial and error, as well as personal experiences, but it seems that developing a greater sense of awareness of the world around you... isn't acceptable anymore.

As for what you've said about 'unhealed traumas and wounds', I'm not even going to go there as that's really reaching. "There's nothing wrong with the world, it's just all in your head!"

Moreover, you've made a blanket judgement on a group of people that has, ironically, contradicted the whole point of this thread - don't judge everyone of the same star sign but those who do judge all have the same 'issues'. Really?!

I'm sorry but your logic is seriously flawed.

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(it stopped block quoting for me so just putting this border here)

For the sake of civil discussion, if you don't like what I am saying, please feel free to leave my post. Ultimately, this post is titled "why *I'm* choosing not to have astrology bias anymore". Not about anybody else. If you don't follow or agree with my belief, then feel free to leave. There's no need to say anything.

This is what I am trying to make clear just in case there is a misread or misunderstanding of what I am saying. "There's no need to avoid any specific sign - just be more discerning on who you invest your time and energy with." yes this is my point of my post?

I did not say at any point to avoid anyone. That's what I'm pointing out with negative astrology Sun Sign bias. It's the fact that certain people (NOT ME anymore) will avoid certain Sun Signs because they have been burned by someone of a certain sun sign. I have seen these on forums all over the Internet and here way too many times now. Say someone got royally f-ed over by a Leo, maybe the Leo cheated on this person and have trauma because of this Leo. And then they've seen other people have the same experience with a Leo somehow. What I have seen many times is these people will then blacklist and avoid any Leo Sun Sign from then on. And this goes for ANY Sun Sign. And just to that Leo point, I have actually seen other Leo Sun Signs who are very loyal people. I actually have a friend who's in a long term relationship with a Leo Sun guy of 4 years, almost 5 now.

So that is why (going back to my original post here) is why we have to discern someone through their whole birth chart. Instead of just straight up avoiding them which certain people do. But NOT ME anymore, and if you want to know why I DON'T follow negative astrology bias and avoiding any Sun Signs anymore, just read my original post again. I hope that's more clearer now, because I did not say at any point that I specifically am avoiding any sun sign. So I was just feeling confused with why you are making the point that I am. I'm really not saying any of this with an aggressive or malicious intention so I hope you don't misunderstand my intention here.

Okay right, that is interesting. So would you say that you avoid fire sign people or no? because of your absence of any fire sign placements in your birth chart.

Okay. Personally I do believe that traumas and past wounds can change how a person acts, and it doesn't have much to do with their astrology placements much, other than how they express or project their wounds perhaps. It's why I have an abusive narc mother. Because she has unhealed deep rooted traumas that make her the way she has been for all of my life. And it's why I have been currently healing from the inner child wounds that she has caused me. Because I realised the reason why I had toxic behaviour in the past was because of her influences towards me and the trauma responses I have from her abuse to protect myself. Trauma responses are very real.

And I don't relate my mother's abuse towards me to her astrology placements either. Because abuse behaviour in someone is abuse behaviour, no matter what your astrology placements are. Because if you compare an abusive person of a Sun Sign who grew up in a toxic and abusive family compared to a mentally healthy and secure person of the same Sun Sign who was raised in a loving and supportive family, there is a dramatic difference but also they are now they are quite different. They may have similar interests, humour etc. but their thought patterns, how they act, their trauma responses etc. will be different based on the upbringing they had and external experiences they've had and people they've dealt with growing up and deal with in the present.

"those who do judge all have the same 'issues' ". Not necessarily the same exact individual issues, but I mean in general, like I said in my Leo Sun Sign example above. There are certain people who will get traumatised because of somebody, and then under all those overwhelming negative emotions, will suddenly group other people under the same identity with this person who caused the trauma, and call a whole population of people the same as the person who caused the trauma. If that makes sense. As in, all of these people who I've never met are exactly like this person who hurt me because they're are the same e.g. astrology Sun Sign, race/ethnicity, social status etc.

You see this ^ grouping thing happen all the time in social media and over human history. Especially race/ethnicity. I'm Asian, so e.g. An Asian person robbed a store, therefore all Asian people are exactly like this person who robbed the store. This is the mindset I'm talking about with negative astrology Sun Sign bias.

Again, if you don't agree with what I say at all, you have the choice to also not reply at all 👐🏻 I just want to be here discussing in a civil and respectful way.

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by allrounder

Posted by Gobbie
Whatever reasoning rocks your boat.

For the past decade, at least, I have given every star sign the benefit of the doubt and nearly every single time they have ended up surrendering to their egotistical impulses. In some cases, I could get past it but in other cases I couldn't.

Life is about learning lessons and trying not to repeat them (if possible). That's how people develop wisdom. IMHO, refusing to judge people based on their innate brand of ego just reeks of naivety and self-denial - there's no wisdom in that and trying to pass it off as such is nothing short of pretentious.

hey, your experiences and what you feel are valid, but so is the way I feel. I see what you're saying. However, I feel ready to forgive these people and let go and move on. I've met really lovely people from all signs now who don't try to f me over. I still struggle with trust issues myself because of how much I've been f-ed over in the past, but I've been gradually learning how to heal those issues, wounds and how to learn to have trust in people again. I like to remind myself with affirmations like "I can trust others, not everyone is out to get me." because it's true, not everyone in this world is so lost and traumatised in their own darkness and shadow self that they'll take it out on others. There's people out there who have either healed, are healing or haven't gone through a lot of negative karma and choose to be loving, supportive, compassionate and kind to others.

Everyone is good at their core. It's just the trauma and people we were surrounded by growing up and even the people surrounding us now who have the ability to shape who we are if we aren't aware of it. That's why boundaries are so important and cutting people off when necessary when you realise they aren't helping you be your best self because they aren't trying to be their own best selves either.

And maybe this'll be helpful to you but it helps me to know that everyone is just operating at their own levels of consciousness in life.

And yes, I agree that's what learning life lessons are about. But because I believe in reincarnation/incarnation and past lives, I do believe past life karma happens when you haven't learnt all the lessons you needed to to move onto the next level or cleared and amended for all the karma in this current lifetime. You go through it again to have another go at learning and clearing it. Because energy and karma is never ending so it's always up to us on what to do about it.

It's why even in this lifetime you might go through something or someone toxic who was similar to a past experience or person you've had to deal with before again and again because you haven't learned your lesson and learned how to heal you or set the necessary boundaries within you in order to stop attracting these types of experiences or people. We attract the energy we are. Because we're all made up of energy. When you haven't healed and surround yourself with toxicity (in your mindset, people, your behaviours, your environment etc.) and operate from mainly ego, you will attract just that back. Like attracts more like, hate attracts more hate.

But none of what you've said can actually be proven - it's largely new age speculation and wishful thinking.

As far as I'm concerned, everyone has an ego and it manifests itself based on one's birth details. However, one's natal chart will naturally compliment certain star signs and clash with others.

Anyone who says that they refuse to judge people by their star signs (or brand of ego) is basically disowning a huge aspect of interpersonal astrology, while also claiming that their natal chart is blank (or, worse still, admitting they'll tolerate any old shit from others).

In a nutshell, it's impossible to go through life pleasing everyone and for everyone to please you.

*shrugs*

click to expand

It's fine if you don't agree with my personal learnt truth. I'm not looking to argue, I'm just sharing my personal journey and truth I've learnt for myself and about humanity. I don't expect anyone to also follow what I'm doing or take on my beliefs, but if anyone here resonates with it, then great, I'm happy for them and if not, then that's okay too. We have free will. I'm just sharing my opinions. So I'm not saying you're wrong, and neither am I wrong. I just look for a discussion of opinions in a civil and respectful manner and sharing the truths and beliefs we individually follow ourselves.

I also think something may be misunderstood or misread with what I've said here as I am not saying to disregard someone's birth chart entirely. I am saying that I choose not to hold negative astrology bias in terms of Sun Signs. Which is what the majority of people who are casual or uneducated about astrology mainly focus on or know about rather than the whole birth chart.

Because people who hold unhealed traumas and wounds from someone in a certain Sun Sign will immediately blanket statement and group everyone under that sign and say they're all the same when that is simply not true. Each individual will be slightly or largely different based on their birth chart. That's the point I'm making. Because I think it's silly to avoid someone based on their Sun Sign without even trying to get to know them first. Like you see someone put their Sun Sign in their bio online and you immediately avoid them without even trying to talk or get to know them first. Or you find out a classmate or colleague's Sun Sign and you now avoid them just because of their Sun Sign even if you got along before, or maybe haven't even given them a chance to talk with you yet. Like I didn't even talk to my Capricorn male classmate who I now realise I actually get along with for the past 2 years even though we're on the same year of our course. And I was quite anxious before about him being a Sun Capricorn because I didn't get along with my female Sun Capricorn classmate.

It's all about birth charts, not just Sun Signs in the end. And a lot of the times, it might not even be the Sun Sign that is the compatibility problem that these people want to believe it is. It can also likely be some other placements in that person's birth chart that the person running away from them doesn't know about or doesn't choose to educate themselves about. For example, I had a nasty fall out with a Sun Taurus girl even though I am a Sun Virgo. And every article I have read has literally mentioned Virgo and Taurus being one of the best matches out there. It's something else within our birth chart and our external circumstances and experiences that we've had so far in life that makes us the way that we are, and in our dynamic and contributed to our falling out. Not our Sun Sign in my opinion.

And yeah, I also agree with and accept the truth about not being a people pleaser and accepting that not everyone is going to like each other in this world. There's almost 8 billion people in this world, it's just not possible right now 😳 Though, actually I personally do believe we can all still choose to be civil and respectful to each other even if you don't like someone.

Posted by Gobbie
Whatever reasoning rocks your boat.

For the past decade, at least, I have given every star sign the benefit of the doubt and nearly every single time they have ended up surrendering to their egotistical impulses. In some cases, I could get past it but in other cases I couldn't.

Life is about learning lessons and trying not to repeat them (if possible). That's how people develop wisdom. IMHO, refusing to judge people based on their innate brand of ego just reeks of naivety and self-denial - there's no wisdom in that and trying to pass it off as such is nothing short of pretentious.

hey, your experiences and what you feel are valid, but so is the way I feel. I see what you're saying. However, I feel ready to forgive these people and let go and move on. I've met really lovely people from all signs now who don't try to f me over. I still struggle with trust issues myself because of how much I've been f-ed over in the past, but I've been gradually learning how to heal those issues, wounds and how to learn to have trust in people again. I like to remind myself with affirmations like "I can trust others, not everyone is out to get me." because it's true, not everyone in this world is so lost and traumatised in their own darkness and shadow self that they'll take it out on others. There's people out there who have either healed, are healing or haven't gone through a lot of negative karma and choose to be loving, supportive, compassionate and kind to others.

Everyone is good at their core. It's just the trauma and people we were surrounded by growing up and even the people surrounding us now who have the ability to shape who we are if we aren't aware of it. That's why boundaries are so important and cutting people off when necessary when you realise they aren't helping you be your best self because they aren't trying to be their own best selves either.

And maybe this'll be helpful to you but it helps me to know that everyone is just operating at their own levels of consciousness in life.

And yes, I agree that's what learning life lessons are about. But because I believe in reincarnation/incarnation and past lives, I do believe past life karma happens when you haven't learnt all the lessons you needed to to move onto the next level or cleared and amended for all the karma in this current lifetime. You go through it again to have another go at learning and clearing it. Because energy and karma is never ending so it's always up to us on what to do about it.

It's why even in this lifetime you might go through something or someone toxic who was similar to a past experience or person you've had to deal with before again and again because you haven't learned your lesson and learned how to heal you or set the necessary boundaries within you in order to stop attracting these types of experiences or people. We attract the energy we are. Because we're all made up of energy. When you haven't healed and surround yourself with toxicity (in your mindset, people, your behaviours, your environment etc.) and operate from mainly ego, you will attract just that back. Like attracts more like, hate attracts more hate.

Posted by Hypnotoad
Good for you.

I will not be changing my ways

hey I respect that, we all have free will and thanks

Posted by Wizardz_

Posted by Seajatt
Astrology is interesting, but it carries very, very little real weight when it comes to dealing with other people.

And besides, other people probably would at best think one were quirky for asking/caring about it.

Now that I think about it, I had someone try that on me and I just smirked at her.

Right? I don't talk about astrology IRL unless the other person is clearly into it themselves

click to expand

Yeah I don't mention it to just anyone like I used to in 2016, cause I realised not everyone necessarily follows religion, spirituality and astrology topics, or at least not seriously and usually aren't that educated about it. Plus I don't like talking about topics that might make someone uncomfortable or about something they don't like/aren't interested in.

Like you guys, I only talk about it when I know for sure that someone is interested in these topics or follows/believes in these things like I do.

Posted by Bumboklaat
Depends on what youre relationship is to the person. If youre looking long term you definitely have to consider sun sign as majority

its definitely the single most influential aspect.

For short term any connection is ok

Sun Sign definitely is core personality. But for me, for example, my personality is definitely dominated by my main other 4 placements too. You know, Moon, Ascendant, Mars, Venus and Mercury in their own way too. Everyone's dominant signs are slightly different, but ultimately is has to include the whole chart in my opinion.

My post is more primarily focusing on the negative and toxic astrology bias people have.

Posted by Seajatt
Astrology is interesting, but it carries very, very little real weight when it comes to dealing with other people.

And besides, other people probably would at best think one were quirky for asking/caring about it.

Now that I think about it, I had someone try that on me and I just smirked at her.

Interesting. Personally I think it's a mix of astrology and external circumstances, other people, experiences, how healed or unhealed someone is, past life karma and current life karma that all make someone's current state and character in life

Posted by MrNobody
Finally, someone is getting knowledge through healing. Good going btw!

Thank you, appreciate it! 🥰🤗

Posted by Redbull
I only really apply it to...romantic? "situations" for lack of a better word. And even then its really only 2 signs due to experience and observation. And then I try to keep it to myself. On here I think I dont get the negative astrology. Like wouldnt something say "am I looking at this wrong" at some point? Maybe Im just fortunate in that I dont look at astrology negatively.

Totally get that. I think the toxic, negative side of astrology bias derives from the fact that when people get so traumatised, and negative emotions are expressed from the place of our ego instead of rationality or compassion and love of self, it tends to make us wanna find someone or external circumstance to blame for everything. Of course, the person who inflicted the abuse and trauma is at fault. But what happens to this wound after isn't their responsibility anymore, it's yours because that wound is specifically within you.
But because the trauma might be so heavy, that the negative emotions coming from it can clouds logic, compassion, love and light within unaware wounded people that they want to focus on hating, blaming and simmering in the negative emotions coming from how the wound makes them feel instead. Because emotions like anger can create illusions and fog rationality and make you focus on things like revenge instead. And sometimes, people can't handle the fact that the person who caused the trauma is still out there living and breathing.

But what I've learnt from my healing journey, is that revenge isn't going to heal your wounds because it doesn't come from a place of compassion or love within you. It's just reactive projections of the wounds from your inner child that want to be satisfied. But even if you do get revenge, that satisfaction is temporary and you'll find you're still left with unhealed wounds and emotions. You're still going to be triggered by trauma triggers and react to it because you haven't done the necessary healing work. True healing comes from compassion, love and forgiveness of all.

And like I get it, forgiveness is hard when someone has done you so wrong. Trust me, I used to think it wasn't possible as an abuse survivor myself. But now I realise I need it in order to truly heal all my wounds and truly let go and move on to better things and attracting and keeping the people who actually help me be my best self.

Anyway, unhealed people is why projection of wounds happen, and why projection at people who didn't even cause these wounds happen so much. Because something this unintentional probably intentionally good person did or said triggered a wound or trauma memory or trauma response within the person who is projecting it emotionally at the other person.

And that's why certain ignorant or insensitive people might say something like "omg don't be so dramatic/you're so sensitive" etc.

And to an outsider who is aware, there'd see that the wounded person has a lot of healing and introspection to do. And if the wounded person is consciously aware of their wounds and trauma responses, then they'd know they need to do more introspection and healing work of themselves and see what this wound is within them that they're projecting emotionally about and where it's coming from and why. So that they don't project these wounds to others again.

Because really, it's not within the emotional control of the person who triggered the trauma response or memory, it's you who's in control of your emotions and you who's in control of changing that. And that's what wounded people tend to not realise at first.

Posted by GenericUsername
I agree, damaged is good. I simply can't live a peaceful 9-5, in a committed relationship, going towards having children, thinking what should I cook tomorrow life style . My astrological insanity needs to live out itself. Hahahahahahaha

Hm that's not my style of living too that's just a stereotype that society today has put onto us as the "golden standard". If you know about that old fashioned "American Dream" term.

I personally am someone who's always been the odd one out who stands out in the group. I've never liked following trends or the crowd, meaning I'm a huge fan of creating my own quirks and traditions I follow that many people might find shocking, weird or outrageous.

The path of solitude that many people in society are scared to take within themselves if you will.

And I'm not saying this to be like "hahahaa I'm superior", not at all. I'm just saying who I am as a person in general, and not from the intention of a superiority complex.

In fact, I don't think we have only one career or one job in life. I believe doing whatever feels good and truly nourishes your soul is what you should follow because it means you will always be on the right path on your own journey. And this looks different for every individual.

I don't feel that the 9 to 5 life is for me as it's just too mundane and restrictive. I'm highly creative as a person and I've done waitressing before with the most toxic colleagues who talked behind my back and laugh at me. One of the most miserable periods of my life. I quit but it helped me realise that I am not meant for that life or that typical minimum wage job. Being there completely zapped and killed my creativity. I felt like a zombie and I dreaded going there every weekend after Uni.

In my opinion, if you feel that way ^ working a job, you are not meant to be there forever. It doesn't fit with what you are meant to do at your highest potential of the best version of you and your life. Real life is not meant to be lived that way. We are all creative beings in our own ways.

I can tell you that I'm currently working towards being in the film industry whilst also building and sustaining being a spiritual guide and teacher online for humanity whilst also building and having my own sticker business (but that's just one idea out of hundreds more I have I swear lol). None of this speaks 9 to 5 but I love it, because I love variety and I feel called to all of these, I feel excited and passionate for all of them. And when I look within my heart and soul, I know because of how I feel when I do them, think and speak about them, I then know I am on the right path, I am meant to do this.

Like a wise tarot reader told me before "You don't need to limit yourself inside just one label or one box. I realised I didn't need these labels I stressed to put myself in before because later, I found out that my capabilities and skills are limitless." Thinking outside the box is what she advised me to do when it comes to my career (because that is what I was asking her to read about for me). And limiting ourselves to just one thing that we do for the rest of our lives or whatever is what current society keeps pushing about.

Do whatever fits your own standard in life. One of my standards is yes, I prefer long term commitment relationships full of love and joy and healthy and honest life style and communication. Because I've been traumatised with the opposite before, so I know how I feel experiencing that. So I changed my story to align with what I desire in life and in myself.

And I don't think we should shame people who do or don't want children. Less shame, more acceptance. If more of society just expressed acceptance and kindness towards each other's paths and journeys and choices in life, there'd be less shame thrown around and less fear to be truthful about being vulnerable to say what we truly want to each other and ourselves.

If you don't want children, that's fine. Just don't shame someone who does. I personally am still unsure because I'm not in a stage to want to decide that right now. I'm 21. I also have a chronic autoimmune health condition that can risk pregnancies and needs very close medical supervision if I do decide to conceive.

Do what you feel called to do.

Posted by jukey
...But according to my rockstar manual, I'll lose my edge if I heal these wounds

haha I'm sure you're still a cool and genuine person without your wounds still being conscious too. Healing from your wounds doesn't mean you lose who you are. You've become who you are today because of the lessons you've learnt from these wounds, and those lessons will stay with you forever. But healing means you don't have to keep holding onto these nasty old energies and old negative emotions and fear that hold you back from living your best life and being your best self because of these unhealed wounds

The way you express anger, grief and any other negative emotion was most likely learned from how your parents, family, close friends or just people you surround yourself with especially whilst growing up as a child. It's not who you truly are. It doesn't define your character. It was most likely a learnt behaviour because we are all good at our core. It's our trauma that happened in our lives that caused all the damage and cause illusions of who we truly are, negativity, pain, grief etc. we have felt and have been clouded by in our minds.

Posted by WarAngel
You'll be back at it in less than a month. There are some things you can't UNknow. 🤣

Nope once I put my mind to something and understand the truth of something, I will stick to it. I've been on this healing, self improvement and transformation journey since mid 2020. I'm literally changing everyday because I self improve myself everyday.

I am an empath by nature and I don't want to hate the world or humanity to be honest, because I like seeing the best in people, that's how I've always been but it's why so many people have managed to take advantage of me in the past and traumatise and hurt me badly (what I've been healing from atm) before I knew about setting boundaries, how to protect myself, how to recognise red flags, being aware about my wounds, how to heal etc.

I believe humanity is and can continue getting better and higher in vibration and peace everyday. Anyway, that's why I've been healing my trauma, wounds and past life wounds of the resentment I have felt about humanity generationally at the moment. Search "agape" (the Greek word), it's the highest universal love for all of humanity, the world, God and The Universe. That's what I want to achieve. And read this as you want, but I'm not trying to force anyone to believe in religion or spirituality with this either. Though I am religious and spiritual (but have been creating my own religious beliefs and traditions outside of what is traditionally known), I am respectful of everyone's opinions, so I would appreciate the same back even if you don't agree with what I say. Being civil and respectful whilst sharing opinions, you know

Anyway, I'm at a place in my journey now where I am ready to just forgive, release and let go because I've healed a lot and I'm ready for new beginnings and believe my life can get better than what I have experienced. I'm so done with holding onto old energies, trauma baggage and people that don't help me be my best self.

And that includes letting go of astrology bias. I have met beautiful and healthy, kind, funny, generous and accepting people of all signs now. It took this Capricorn dude to appear in my life and to clear the air between us for me to finally reach and accept this truth and understand it fully. Everyone at core is good and healthy. It's just everything that happens to us once we're born that can damage, lead astray, torment and hurt a person's true character.

Everyone here is free to have their own opinion. I didn't post this to try control anyone's opinion. It is just me expressing my truth I've learnt somewhere so I can affirm this into the world. And if anyone here resonates with what I've said, then great, I'm so happy it does and if not, that's cool too. I like hearing from all perspectives.

Posted by Astrobyn
I need a healing journey, where do you hop on that shit?

Every time I think I'm on that train, it turns out it just my imagination cleverly cloaking my attitude and POV, but then it just runs right into emotional trauma, and I get off on destructive patterns of behavior that doesn't serve me.


But good luck to you.

Honestly I think you having awareness of these patterns of behaviour of yours is a really great first step in general. A lot of wounded people who project their wounds at people do it without conscious awareness that it's coming from their unhealed trauma and wounds. They just think that's who they are, but it's not. Before the trauma, we are all our core personalities, the ones from our astrology placements in it's healthy goodness. And ways to express and deal with anger and grief are most likely learnt from your parents, family or people you surround yourself most with and grew up with. Well done on having awareness of yourself within and being honest about it there's a lot of wounded people who sit in denial and sugarcoat the truth. And I'm not saying this to shame those people, but speak on the truth on how they act when they are scared of their shadow self and care too much about what people could think about them if their shadow self/"dark side" is exposed.

The journey of healing and transformation is never easy. But taking that first seemingly hard step is always a great start in the right direction. All you need to do is be brave to keep going, you know. The biggest changes and growth (especially the one that you desire) only happens when you keep pushing through and out of your comfort zone. Fear will trap you inside your comfort zone. And thank you ♥

Posted by NotMadHatter
Nope. Capricorns are dicks. Follow your gut. #1 murderers. Voted most likely for domestic abuse behind closed doors. They smell like goat cheese.

You're right about judging the whole chart though.. problem is Capricorn placements ruin a whole chart. Like when you're at your favorite restaurant, eating your favorite meal. .. and you find what is clearly a piece of shit in your food.. thats what Capricorn placements do to a chart

You're free to have your own opinion but this Capricorn dude is really friendly and I feel very comfortable to talk to him now. So I refuse to have astrology bias anymore. I'd rather look at the whole chart overall and judge in a collective manner.

I have Capricorn Lilith and Eros myself and 2 House placements in Capricorn so, honestly I don't think it's a big deal. But again, this is just my opinion and my lessons I've learnt

Posted by Parilicium
7/12 zodiac men hurted you
Whats your moon?

Loool my Moon is Pisces, so you can imagine. But not all of the signs I mentioned are just men, the ones where I mentioned males are memorably just trauma from males of that sign I've dealt with before. But the ones where I didn't say males are both male and female caused trauma from those signs. But anyway, I'm not holding astrology bias anymore.

At least for just Sun Sign bias, which is what 95% of people who are very casual or uneducated about astrology care about anyway. You *really* have to consider someone's whole birth chart, and that's what this post will be centered around.

I used to have astrology bias because I had unhealed wounds caused by certain people from specific Sun signs. To name a few, Scorpio, Gemini, Leo, Capricorns, Sagittarius males, Aries males and Pisces males.
---
(Edit: erm okay so I think some people are getting confused by my labelling of these specific Sun Signs ^ because it's not me saying I avoid them now. If you read my whole post here, you will see that I am saying that I USED to hold grudges against these specific signs because of unhealed trauma I had from specific people from these signs (and some of them have more than one person who's trauma I've healed or been healing from). But now that I'm in a better place in my healing journey, I don't want to hold grudges, desire for revenge or avoid any Sun Sign anymore, I hope that makes sense. I'm making this point because I've seen so many people avoid a Sun Sign JUST because of someone or some people who burned them in the past who is that Sun Sign they're avoiding. And yes, it's ridiculous but that's my point! I have seen that on so many forums as well as on here, some of you avoiding Virgos comoletely just because of a Virgo who burned you, like come on. I'm a Virgo Sun.)

Only these past 3 months including this one have I finally reached a point in my healing journey where I am ready to finally just forgive, release and let go of all this crap baggage of trauma and wounds that my inner child kept holding onto and being purely reactive to any triggers that got triggered. Now, I'm finally ready to forgive these people, have compassion and let go. I want to move on already onto even better and new things.

I realised having astrology bias over these people from these Sun signs was literally because I held a grudge over them because of my unhealed wounds from one or a few people from that sign.

I also realised since last year till now that every time I did hold onto astrology bias, The Universe, would send me someone from that sign I wanted to hate but then that person ends up being an absolute delight, funny, kind in their own way and someone I just really got along with!

And some of you here may remember my recent Capricorn male posts, but I managed to be brave and establish boundaries and made my feelings clear that I'm not interested in him (and he took it well, so I'm thankful for that).
And yesterday was the first day (since confessing my disinterest) that we met up in person at Uni to continue doing our project together. And honestly? Now that the anxiety of freaking out if he romantically liked me or not has faded away, I felt so much more comfortable around him to be goofy, confident and just fully myself.

And because of that, I really enjoyed yesterday turns out we make each other laugh and have a lot to talk about and I could feel that we mutually feel comfortable around each other now to just talk about our interests. A great start to a wonderful friendship!

And because of that, I now take off having astrology bias. Him being in my life at the moment has proven to me that the whole birth chart of someone really DOES matter.

Because I still don't get along or like being around that Capricorn girl in my Uni course and vice versa, but this Capricorn dude has really changed my views on astrology bias and Capricorns as a whole. It just goes to show that it's not JUST about considering Sun Signs when it comes to someone's WHOLE character so throwing people aside just because of their Sun Sign without getting to know them first is silly. Give people a chance more who knows, maybe they'll be your new bestie too.

It's funny but in the recent year, every time I think I don't get along with a certain sign and just don't like people of that sign (even though we're supposed to not focus on just sun sign, and consider the whole birth chart of a person and ourselves), the Universe will send me someone of that sign who I just somehow like and get along with and feel comfortable and trusting around.

It's been happening for me since last November. First with Scorpio and now with Capricorn just very recently in fact.

Therefore, I don't think there's a dislikable sign anymore especially when you have to consider a person's whole birth chart to understand their nature and core personality. You also have to consider what a person has been through as a person. A healthy lovingly raised person will be different than a deeply wounded and traumatised and abusively raised person of any sign. So you must consider external environments too.

And considering my recent experiences, it just enforces the whole birth chart and external circumstances/sources/people point even more. Every sign by definition is lovely in their healthy core nature 🥰

Posted by cake

Posted by allrounder

Posted by cake

I'm not a dude, but why do we have to fight for anybody? Just be who you are and the right person will always stay

The right person wants you to fight. Yay or nay

click to expand

Aggressive and immature physical or verbal fight isn't a good sign. And for my standards, the right person for me doesn't fight. We discuss maturely and assertively and protect each other in a gentle and nurturing way. And I feel like the right person for everyone would also be this way where we're not spitting toxicity at each other. You're both healthy and self loving individuals capable of loving each other without immaturity, toxic jealousy or possessiveness and are just right for each other.

I'm sure you've seen the soulmate couples who are just so strongly and unexplainably right for each other in every way and both are at a point in their life where they're both individually clearly in one of their highest best versions of themselves. Like a puzzle of themselves have been completed. They have the dream career they want. Life is going mostly well for them. It's one of those surreal relaxing "ahh" peak moment in your life.

And now they start a new puzzle together in union that's what I desire for in life currently. There just is no fighting. The disagreements we may have won't be called "fights". Fighting sounds so aggressive and toxic anyway.