3 year payoff?

Not to bore you with the exact details, but I (virgo) have been friends/dealing with this Aquarius guy since I was about 25 (just turned 28, Virgo Nation!!). When we first went on a date, there was instant communication and chemistry. LOVELY and amazing. However, shortly after it just seemed like we werent a good match (as Ive read on some of these boards about Virgo & Aqua). We settled into a bias passe friendship, going out with each other here and there (every time we went out after I felt like a PRINCESS! Always fine dining and fun times). I continued to go on dates, some he knew/knows about and some he didnt, and thats that. As of two weeks ago though, we've hung out and he seems...different. More wanting to settle (based off things he's opened up about) and more OPEN with what he needs & wants in the future vs the past where he would kind of just be flighty. It threw me a bit b/c thats not usually his MO.

This past weekend we even met up for a mini-pow wow to end my birthday weekend and he told me I looked very sexy (over the last 3 years Ive definitely changed how I look/matured womanly and am getting into better shape) and made plans for this Friday coming.

I guess the reason Im posting is because Im starting to feel chemistry & dare I say grow affection for him again but I dont want to feel this way to have the same thing that happened in the past stir up.

I know one of his gripes with me is that Im not "light". And I get what hes saying lol he wants me also to stop talking so much and be intimate and kiss him yada yada but Im usually standoffish with that though one of the last times we did hang out I did invite him in...just heavy petting happened though, nothing else. My only gripe with him is that I feel like he's not consistent enough to warrant my affection/intimacy which Ive pointed out to him as well. Basically we're both bull headed. I want him to comply and he wants me to be "free".

Has anyone else dealt with this? Or have any advice?

Not to bore you with the exact details, but I (virgo) have been friends/dealing with this Aquarius guy since I was about 25 (just turned 28, Virgo Nation!!). When we first went on a date, there was instant communication and chemistry. LOVELY and amazing. However, shortly after it just seemed like we werent a good match (as Ive read on some of these boards about Virgo & Aqua). We settled into a bias passe friendship, going out with each other here and there (every time we went out after I felt like a PRINCESS! Always fine dining and fun times). I continued to go on dates, some he knew/knows about and some he didnt, and thats that. As of two weeks ago though, we've hung out and he seems...different. More wanting to settle (based off things he's opened up about) and more OPEN with what he needs & wants in the future vs the past where he would kind of just be flighty. It threw me a bit b/c thats not usually his MO.

This past weekend we even met up for a mini-pow wow to end my birthday weekend and he told me I looked very sexy (over the last 3 years Ive definitely changed how I look/matured womanly and am getting into better shape) and made plans for this Friday coming.

I guess the reason Im posting is because Im starting to feel chemistry & dare I say grow affection for him again but I dont want to feel this way to have the same thing that happened in the past stir up.

I know one of his gripes with me is that Im not "light". And I get what hes saying lol he wants me also to stop talking so much and be intimate and kiss him yada yada but Im usually standoffish with that though one of the last times we did hang out I did invite him in...just heavy petting happened though, nothing else. My only gripe with him is that I feel like he's not consistent enough to warrant my affection/intimacy which Ive pointed out to him as well. Basically we're both bull headed. I want him to comply and he wants me to be "free".

Has anyone else dealt with this? Or have any advice?

*shrugs*

Make up your mind.

This reminds me of me and a particular virgal. That sentence "just not a good match" seem to have popped up as well as I recall. How she came to that conclusion I will never know all I knew was she told me up front she was just in it for the sex. A year later when she finally developed whatever feelings or started thinking about it it was far too late.

We're not the type to compromise for someone that doesn't quite want us. Or at least I'm like that. If you want to commit then commit, compromises can be made along the way otherwise it's anyone's game.

Posted by aquasnoz
*shrugs*

Make up your mind.

This reminds me of me and a particular virgal. That sentence "just not a good match" seem to have popped up as well as I recall. How she came to that conclusion I will never know all I knew was she told me up front she was just in it for the sex. A year later when she finally developed whatever feelings or started thinking about it it was far too late.

We're not the type to compromise for someone that doesn't quite want us. Or at least I'm like that. If you want to commit then commit, compromises can be made along the way otherwise it's anyone's game.

I would actually LOVE to commit to him however only if the feeling was mutual. I NEVER let on that I was solely interested in him for sex only b/c that would be a lie and I abhor lying. I do thank you for the advice.

Perhaps I do need to be more upfront with him but it seems when I try, there's a hesitation and he wants me to "show" him vs "telling" him... Im assuming

I would just sit back and let things be the status quo for a while. Observe the actions and see if he reverts back to his old ways of if he really is different. No need to make a decision right now.

And, please girl, find some FUN subjects to talk to him about. Otherwise you'll bore him right out the door. (humor, oddities, philosophy, religion, politics, zombies, anything either stimulating or off the wall)

And, really, three years is kind of a long time.... Men tend to know from the get go whether they will want more with you or not.

Posted by truecap
I would just sit back and let things be the status quo for a while. Observe the actions and see if he reverts back to his old ways of if he really is different. No need to make a decision right now.

And, please girl, find some FUN subjects to talk to him about. Otherwise you'll bore him right out the door. (humor, oddities, philosophy, religion, politics, zombies, anything either stimulating or off the wall)

!00% Agree,the more stranger the better 😄 (IMO).

Hmmm thank you ladies and gent for the sound advice. I guess my little heart got all a flutter from some change in his tempo but tigers dont change their stripes! Its true. lol

Not every Aquarian is allergic to commitment, it depends on how they feel about you. If he didn't want to be around, he wouldn't be around. Be straight with him and ask him how he feels.

^ If you're quick to believe all aquas have issues with commitment as you so pointed out you read up on some threads here. Honestly... bail, if you truly want to base it on other people's experience which effectively boxes your perceptions then just stop.

You'll save yourself the hassle.

Posted by Aquadeer

Posted by truecap
I would just sit back and let things be the status quo for a while. Observe the actions and see if he reverts back to his old ways of if he really is different. No need to make a decision right now.

And, please girl, find some FUN subjects to talk to him about. Otherwise you'll bore him right out the door. (humor, oddities, philosophy, religion, politics, zombies, anything either stimulating or off the wall)

!00% Agree,the more stranger the better 😄 (IMO).

click to expand

One of the most fun conversations we had was on the zombie apocaplyse. We treated it as a serious threat and got sillier and sillier with our plans. It's become our private joke now. Fun times!

Posted by aquasnoz
^ If you're quick to believe all aquas have issues with commitment as you so pointed out you read up on some threads here. Honestly... bail, if you truly want to base it on other people's experience which effectively boxes your perceptions then just stop.

You'll save yourself the hassle.

My experience has been good. He was more than willing to commit. Oh, I've had my moments of insecurity and frustration, mostly of my own making (hangs head in shame), but he's been true and steady the whole time.

Posted by aquasnoz
^ If you're quick to believe all aquas have issues with commitment as you so pointed out you read up on some threads here. Honestly... bail, if you truly want to base it on other people's experience which effectively boxes your perceptions then just stop.

You'll save yourself the hassle.

I do believe in change. Ive changed myself. But I also have to be realistic. Although I like our friendship, it has been 3 years...I am still going to talk and hangout with him but without letting my emotions jump the gun. If it seems he has become a different person then huzzah! And if he hasnt I wont have to worry. I was just looking for others experience or feedback and I found it. Im appreciative of everything everyone has suggested/said.

The stuff I've been reading about Aquas on this board is weird. I've never been with an aqua (well maybe in a weird way, I just pulled man's chart). But from just looking from the outside in, it doesn't seem like he's fully invested because it seems like there is something or someone else. Why would he come at the end of your birthday weekend for a pow wow (whatever that means) and then plan to see you for your birthday about a week later? That smells fishy. Again I don't know how aqua men work but if it's anything like my man with heavy aqua placements, I'd say he's interested but more interested in something or someone else. Why didn't he spent your actual bday with you? And my man was stubborn at first, but 3 years is just stringing someone along until what you really want comes along.

No, see where it goes. You just don't go out of your way to "make it go" anywhere. I do believe people can change their views on how they feel about a person. Maybe he didn't want a relationship 3 years ago. I agree that 3 years is a long time, BUT 3 years is a long time! lol meaning a lot can change in 3 years.

Good thing is, you already know him. So you'll be able to spot bs very quickly. & if he isn't doing what he needs to do to progress the relationship in a timely fashion, cut him off. But give it a try, if you care for him, it's worth it. IMO

Virgos and Aquas aren't a good match. I have a Virgo daughter and I have never seen her more happy than she is with her Taurus boyfriend, I mean they click like ice and water and the same thing is with my mom she is a Taurus and her husband is a Virgo she said he was the best thing that has ever happen to her. Virgos can be clingy and like to argue they are too drama filled and to emotional, those things don't set well with an Aquarius now friendship wise they are good. I have both and Aquarius and Virgo daughters and my Aquarius will get on her butt when her Virgo sister starts with that emotional, dramatic feelings, she will not deal with her when she is like that at all.