A question for Aqua Women, if.you may.

Could I have some insight on the distancing thing please?

Been dating a lovely women.

She's started a new job which is stressful and demanding, which I perfectly understand. She's been ill also, but with this has come a need to distance herself. Is that a normal thing to do? Even with being ill it's like she wants no help? She's very independant now I'm not saying she has to let me help her. I'm not needy either, love my space.

But I don't know it's like complete detachment, I've causally mentioned it and she's said she has a lot on with work, stress, just needs a break.

Not asking for dating advice hahaha, just an insight to the distance thing, heard it's quite common with Aqurians! Insight from male and female would be good ?

Posted by Londonelixer
Could I have some insight on the distancing thing please?

Been dating a lovely women.

She's started a new job which is stressful and demanding, which I perfectly understand. She's been ill also, but with this has come a need to distance herself. Is that a normal thing to do? Even with being ill it's like she wants no help? She's very independant now I'm not saying she has to let me help her. I'm not needy either, love my space.

But I don't know it's like complete detachment, I've causally mentioned it and she's said she has a lot on with work, stress, just needs a break.

Not asking for dating advice hahaha, just an insight to the distance thing, heard it's quite common with Aqurians! Insight from male and female would be good ?

what is it that you need?

you said she started a job, so what is it that is the problem?

ie, if she is working a high profile career like Amal Alamuddin, best stay clear.

I'm sure that George Clooney gives Amal a lot of room. (since he knows beforehand)

if you are NOT needy, then what is it that you are so demanding of her?

you write she has a lot of work, but you seem dissatisfied.

if you can't give her space, because of her work, and her stress, this is NOT the woman for you.

I don't have this problem with my husband, he does NOT like too clingy and needy. if anything im more clingy than him.

She sounds like she has a lot on her plate. Give her the space she needs or cut ties

Thanks everyone. I'm pretty sure it's due to having a lot on. She's been to the doctors and has novovirus, like I said with a heavy new job too. It's a lot, the last thing I want is to be clingy.

I let her know if she needs anything to ya know let me know. I'm not trying to come across selfish in any way. She's made it pretty clear of there is an issue with us she'd say.

I just want to make sure she's OK!

If i am stress out in my work the last thing on my mind is romance,give her time to adjust first in her job so she can have time with you later dont push coz i rather have no relationship at all than have a lot of fight for it and yes we are independent being we dont want help even if we need it coz i know i can solve it on my own i dont like owing people,and i dont want to waste a persons time since i know they have a problem of their own everyone has problems that i dont want to add hindrance on them

@Londonelixir Simply give us space and we'll come back to you in good health, spirit, and mind 🙂 I don't know why we're like this, I actually despise the fact that I can be so aloof and detached from the people I care about the most but we're an air sign so I guess we just need some time to recuperate as well as keep our emotions in check from time to time.

We have spoken and she said that we had a disagreement the other night and she disagreed with some things that I said, not thinking I thought that way. But rather than talk she said she didn't want to as we were both drunk and she thought she could forget it buts it's played on her mind.

Drink was involved. But she does want to talk about it. With her being ill and starting a new job she didn't want to be selfish bringing it up her words. I didn't want to be selfish bringing anything up either because she needs to fully focus on this job.

But we're going to talk on the weekend hopefully. Fingers crossed it's something we can talk through... wish me luck .

Yea, that's an aqua for you. What is your sign @Londonelixer?

I'm a Gemini - we've hit everything off so well, even to the lengths of saying we don't want anyone else. We are/falling in love with each other. We're both 33 and 32.

So I hope it's something we can talk through.

I'm pretty nervous about this whole situation, I don't want to push the issue. But I start a new job on Monday and like her want to be fresh for it. But I want nothing more than for us to continue.

How is the best way to approach asking to meet on the weekend, she has said she's feeling better and does want to talk, or shall I leave it for her to suggest it?

I miss her, a lot, we haven't seen each other for 2 weeks , nor spoke on the phone for a week. She's been very ill and with a new job ... But shes active on social media, and am worried - seriously hoping I haven't jeopardised this.

So after so much brain searching, I know what has happened.

As Aquariuns how would you like someone to approach you? I'm terribley sorry and want to right this. BUT, obviously want to give her the space she wants to the moment.

Other slight issue, she came out of hospital for some blood tests and is still ill, as dark as I'm aware. I don't want to add to her workload or I guess piled up emotions ??

You seem like a sweet guy, but a bit clingy. First it would be helpful to know what upset her when you were drinking. Second, what have you done for since she's been sick and had a heavy workload? I understand you miss her and want to see her and not put pressure on her, but she can probably feel it too. Look if i was stressed and sick and worried about my health, even if i say i want to be left alone, i don't always mean it. Some times a simple gesture like bringing her favourite soup or a book by an author she loves goes a long way. I don't know what your relationship history is how long you've been together but it sounds like youre so focused on getting together and seeing her, that you don't see "her". I would stop asking to see her at the moment, i would ask how she's feeling, how her job is going. Let her vent if she needs to.

I will say this, if i'm into a guy and really like him, him contacting me doesn't bother me. If I'm not into him it annoys me beyond belief. I will sometimes not even reply and when i do, its not very engaging. If I really like a guy and I'm stressed out and/or sick, i would appreciate a thoughtful gesture. I may not be able to see him or i might need time to recharge. But even a simple goofy get well meme texted to me would brighten my day, because I know that person is thinking of me. But do this without expectation of a reply.

And when something is bothering us, it simmers with us for a while, and we can be slow to warm up to again. Aquas, have big soft mushy hearts surrounded by twenty foot walls that are hard to penetrate. If an aqua is hurt by something you said, they will go into themselves.

It also depends on her other placements in her chart as well, she might react different than i would.

Well I sent her some flowers today actally stating that I got these because she's been ill. She sent me a message saying that was really sweet.

Believe I'm it being clingy and I'm trying not to come across like thato, but it's weird because she was so clingy with me.

I've linked her in visors that I know she loves, but she has said she needs space so I can't push her.

Like I said she has told me she loves me. Twice. And said she wants no one on her life. Right now sh3 says she has a lot on.

The other thing is she won't say exactly what was said. Also had 2 opportunities to I guess end it, as I've said I hope this is repairable. I've told her I'm gonna her some space she's told me she has an epic work week this week. So it's difficult ...

I have done the gestures and never expected anything!

I think your last paragraph is her to a T. She has said I've said some things that she didn't expect me to say. But hasn't told me what, I'm sitting in limbo waiting till she's ready to talk. She's the business analyst global head of merlin entertainment. So you can imagine the job is so stressful, with a bout of novovirus, she went hospital and never told me told me the next day though .... but like I've said she hasn't said it's ended. Or over.