Apologising to aqua ex

I've posted recently about an Aqua ex of mine who I still have feelings for. We broke up 4-5 years ago, he's a typical aqua that you read about on here, and I am typical Cancer although I have gemini moon and he has scorpio moon so I think we complimented eachother quite well.

We had a very intense relationship, fell in love very quickly, both said we had never had these feelings for anyone else.. He opened up a lot to me, something I know was hard for him to do, as he doesn't like to show his emotions/feelings.. but he did with me. We had a lot of fun, but as we were both young, due to insecurities and immaturity we ended up having lots of silly arguments and broke up. We were on and off and on and off for a year and a half after, we couldn't let go of eachother.. but I hadn't let go of my insecurities and so we didn't work out.

We cut contact for about 2 1/2 years, and recently started talking again... in a friendly way, with no hard feelings.

It's taken me a while, but I look back and can see how immature and insecure I was with him, and even though I know we both made mistakes, I can see how I damaged the relationship.
I want to apologise to him for my part, because I always used to blame him for all of our problems, and it wasn't fair on him. However I don't want to bring up the past too much as we've only been talking about lighthearted things lately and not mentioned our relationhsip at all. Plus he doesn't like to talk about emotional things, so I want to keep it very simple.

I feel like I need to do this, even if I don't get him back, I don't care.. I don't have a hidden agenda here, its just something I feel like I have to do and something I hope he will appreciate. I still care about him a great deal, and have dated others since him but never had the same connection or feelings i had with him.

Is this a good or bad idea? Whats the best way of going about it?

While you're talking, just bring up..."I'm having so much fun talking to you again. I always felt bad about.....because.......now I realize......and I am glad I got a chance to tell you that. Now, that's said, so what's your favorite ice cream? (or something super light hearted)"

He will either blow it off and change the subject or talk about it. Either way, it says what you want to and then its up to him to continue on that line or pick up with the silly tidbit and go from there.

Posted by truecap
While you're talking, just bring up..."I'm having so much fun talking to you again. I always felt bad about.....because.......now I realize......and I am glad I got a chance to tell you that. Now, that's said, so what's your favorite ice cream? (or something super light hearted)"

He will either blow it off and change the subject or talk about it. Either way, it says what you want to and then its up to him to continue on that line or pick up with the silly tidbit and go from there.

🙂 I like this, this is how I was planning on saying it.. but thought I'd get some advise first! I didn't want to screw anything up

Don't apologise. Just take it from where things are RIGHT NOW!!!!

He's talking to you, that's good! Have you forgiven yourself? If so, great! Now, drop it and be happy!

Wolfmoon has good advice too.

Cancerrose, why did it take exactly that long to start talking again? Did you just run into him? Did he call you or did you call him? Just curious.

I agree with cap and wolfmoon. The aquas i know tend to move past things.

Start with the today or if you do bring it up dont be all emotional, deep and detailed about it.

Point blank say what cap suggested and then move on from it. He will either continue talking about it acknowledge it and move on to the now.

You don't want him to keep associating pain/drama with you do you? You gotta give him a new perception and the only way you are going to do that is to handle the present in a fun lighthearted way.

One thing that worked with me was "Do you ever think about what happened?". I'm okay with talking about the past because I was over it by then. You don't need to apologise per se but he might appreciate your reflections.

Posted by aqualover07
Cancerrose, why did it take exactly that long to start talking again? Did you just run into him? Did he call you or did you call him? Just curious.

He contacted me on my birthday, this was the first contact after a year... I cut contact with him, and when he initiated I think he was scared about how I was going to react.. he thought I didn't want to talk to him, but I was fine. I then contacted him on his birthday, and then we've been talking on and off... we have also bumped into eachother

You sound really level headed. Maybe you get it from reading all these posts. Good stuff. Good luck with him. It sounds promising.

Posted by aqualover07
You sound really level headed. Maybe you get it from reading all these posts. Good stuff. Good luck with him. It sounds promising.

Thanks.... although not sure if you are being sarcastic or not...

To be honest, I'm not expecting anything. A lot of time has passed, and I have no idea whether he has a girlfriend or not. But I feel like I need to just do this, but I won't make a big thing of it.

Not sarcastic at all. You need to have confidence and patience. As long as there is honest communication (communication at all really). He will be in your life for as long as you want him. Dont try to possess him. Be happy he is in your life The fact that he is in there means you dont need to apologize. But all the advise on here sounds good to me if you decide to still do it. If you want to bring him closer to you the best way is to think of you. You are a different person now dont go backward. Go forward and smile a lot if you see him. It says it all.

I think if you really feel the need to apologize, then do it if it'll lift the weight off your chest. Most important thing is what'll make you happy, screw however he'll take it lol. I think the best way would be to just be very brief & casual about it: "I'm glad we're talking again. Just wanted to say real quick sorry about what happened in the past. It's cool we're good now..." Or something like that. A longer explanation will make it more awkward & uncomfortable, but if you limit it to 2-3 sentences I think it'll be okay. Make it quick, brief & casual so it's easier for him to respond without too much emotions involved. That way, you were able to get it out the way b/c it was bothering you & you guys can move onto the next topic.

Hope everything works out for you! Let us know what happens & what you ended up doing! 🙂

Oh, and just wanted to add, by being brief it'll let you know how he'll take it without you having to give too much. He could return the casual demeanor & just say "Yeah, same here" -OR- he could be piqued by curiosity & want you to elaborate more ("Why are you sorry?"), THEN that'd give you the opportunity to explain exactly why ("I blamed you.. " etc)!