Aquarian/Aquarian

So some time ago I posted about same day birthday and that was two months ago and everything seemed so magical until all of a sudden my Aquarian male interest goes poof without explanation. We live 4 hours apart, he was asking to meet me again, last Thursday he said he would be in touch Friday or Monday to set the day for this week, he was hoping we could meet yesterday, he was heading out of town for weekend with his boys, well he came back on Sunday, I had sent him a poem on Saturday, I often wrote poems, he seemed to like that, well no reply to me then, nothing since but he was on the dating site that Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, not today. He usually only seemed to go on when I would send him mail but I had not sent him mail after Saturday and he would often come online to message with me but now nothing no explanation. Everything seemed so great and wonderful, no problems we were looking forward to getting together. I am not about to call him or email him to ask him why as I feel that should be up to him to tell me why on his own effort without me chasing him. Its like wow, this is so odd, I cant believe this is happening to me. He seemed so interested, I just dont understand.

Well things were very hot and wild right up to the very last second we were together. What do you mean thought has him seduced?

Do you think I should wait it out or write to him and ask if he is ok and if he does not want to be in touch to offer an explanation? I mean he was planning on meeting me and said he would be in touch Friday or Monday and has not.

Are you saying he may be tied up in his thoughts so to speak? Im just wondering how this would prevent him from contacting me as he said he would. I mean isnt this behavior somewhat rude?

Well I have a hard time doing the right thing sometimes. I wrote him a poem. I dont know if he will respond either but this is the poem. Hope not too scary. I wish I could have waited but the poem busted out of my mind and I just couldnt help myself.

As it Should Be

So perhaps you didn?t want things to go on the way I had hoped they would
It is ok, I would not want to make things go just as I think they should
It is best to have things roll along in a way that feels good to both
For only then can one expect to see some positive growth

It is understandable if you only wanted some good times and sex
I don?t blame you or consider it a problem that would make bad effects
On the things that I feel for you and what I think of you
Regardless of what I want and what you are into

Whether it be me or someone else or your own special deal
I will remember you fondly and glad that I got to feel
What I have for you because that is a blessing
It has shown me that I am capable of loving

Another person without any type of conditions
That is the most free way to be when it happens
To not have anything have to come back in return
Only that when I share love it does not cause concern

To make you feel uneasy or unable to accept
I do very much understand that concept
So remember whether you come to me or not
I am happy to have experienced a little or a lot

You don?t have to pick me for me to be happy
I am already that way and am ok to let you be
If I do not have you in my life I will feel a loss
But will never regret that you have come across

My path on this journey and spent some time with me
For the time I have spent with you will always be a happy memory
I can hope for things to continue on so good
Alas things will go on in life as they should

Whether it makes any sense as to how things will transpire
Is out of my control for all I can do is desire
An outcome that satisfies the both of us
In time to where we both have our own happiness

The poem was a bit much for him at this juncture. It would have been better to wait to send that, if at all.

If you met him through a dating site and he lives 4 hours away, then chances are he's not ready for the next step. I think your poem will do more harm than good.

poems often do more harm than good. I understand the need for writting them though: I keep them in my diary about the relationship.
But if you haven't sent this one already motherbear, don't do so.

Well I had already sent the poem to him. Over the course of the last two months I had sent him many poems so it was not so unusual I guess. I did get a reply back. He had apologized for not being able to get in touch with me sooner. There have been some very big problems going on with his work that has caused him to have to work long hours and he said that he had not had any chance to see me or write. He said that he would try and write more after he got home tonight from work whenever that would be. He said that he would still like to see me and looks forward to it when it can happen. He said my note brought him some sadness because he had enjoyed his time together with me very much. He said that the touching, kissing, and talking were all very special and he was glad that I enjoyed it as much as he did. He said he would try and reach me tonight by phone, internet - instant message, or email. Then he said hugs and special nibbles to me. So at this point I do think he is still interested but very busy with problems and I just sort of got forgotton about for the time being. I told him not to worry about spending time with me right now, to just take care of what he has to and I will look forward to spending time with him when he can. I told him I do not do the dating thing very well, that I wished he was just a friend, but because he means more to me it makes it harder to be without him and the hard part is realizing that I miss him.


As far as the next step goes well I dont know what he is ready for. He just seems like he enjoys being with me and has always been very fun, flattering to me, and agreeable to want I want. He has told me that he can deal with what I want. I have told him that I want to take things to a deeper level and become closer. I have even told him that someday I will move near to him and he has said that would be wonderful and he said then you would have to be ready for more because I would want more. This is why his disappearance was so odd to me but I guess he has been dealing with all this work stuff. I am not ready to throw in the towel just yet.

He has often told me how he enjoys very much how expressive I am and hopes that I will continue to share and will be willing to share more, so because he has always been so enouraging to me in the past, I have developed a relationship with him that I am very open and share a lot of ideas, thoughts, and feelings. He seems to enjoy all of it. That is why I truly was baffled here.

Well yes, it is eery how much we are alike, and I have thought I am getting a taste of my own behavior and I think back to my mother and how understanding she was no matter that I did not come around for 8 months or so without a word, just happy that I am available when I am, but of course we have that established relationship, but with him it is new and not established, we have not even decided to become exclusive, only that we have decided to tell one another if someone else becomes special and that we would each understand the other one dating but as far as I am concerned I do not desire to and he feels he has enough to deal with just seeing me. Although I have an Aquarian brother, this is my first experience with an Aquarian male. Delightful as it is, it is also very unpredictable and I get that, I think I can handle that more than I could someone who is very routine and never waivered from the norm. I would most likely become rather bored but I was beginning to fret and was afraid to do anything and then of course being my typical outragious self went all out, not just a little one liner but a full fledged heart felt poem, oh dear, sometimes I am so wreckless with myself, but he did respond so I guess it got his attention and got him thinking back to me. No doubt I will probably go through this again. Doesnt the fact that he responded and stated he wants to see me still mean something though? I dont feel that I am being played here.

Doesnt the fact that he responded and stated he wants to see me still mean something though?

motherbear...my aqua broke up with me 2 and a half months ago after being together for 2 years. he still contacts me via text or phone calls. and he randomly showed up at my work one day to "see me"...but i don't know if that still means anything on his end. i know he still cares about me, but i don't necessarily know if it means he would get back together with me. but with aqua's you never can tell!

Well we are not even at the committed stage to break up only to end the keeping in touch phase which he clearly does not want to do. Yes I understand completely the never can tell, Ive been hanging around my own aqua self all my life and believe me I know how unpredictable I can be. One thing I do know though is when I want something, I stay pretty fixed on that until such time I really dont want it and once I dont want it then I have clearly moved on even if I am able to remain a friend on a casual basis. At this point his words express to me that he has not moved on and very much wants to get together with me. As far as your aqua goes not knowing any of the issues surrounding the breakup it is hard to say what the deal is but I know as an aqua I will still care, I have been friendly to my exboyfriend of 7 years and my exhusband of 14 years, but would certainly not go out with them in a relationship again.

I think this Aqua guy is being nice to stay non-confrontational.

hp...what does that mean— whose aqua guy?

the Aqua guy in question on this thread. Mother bear's

Well houstonpeach this aqua guy has always been very nice and we have not had a moment of trouble, just the sudden disappearing act threw me for a loop because everything was wonderful. What reason would he even have to be confrontational though? I do not get that. Typically we will discuss and evaulate and state our opinions and accept each others views but generally our views do not vary that much from each other, we seem to look at things similarly but can appreciate the differences when they exist. To confront me for my actions as far as reaching out in a rather bold way, well he is not the type to tell me what he feels is wrong with me. Im not really sure what your point was here.

Ok, good luck with him.

You're confronting him by what you're saying, look at your first thread:

" I had sent him a poem on Saturday, I often wrote poems, he seemed to like that, well no reply to me then, nothing since but he was on the dating site that Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, not today. He usually only seemed to go on when I would send him mail but I had not sent him mail after Saturday and he would often come online to message with me but now nothing no explanation. Everything seemed so great and wonderful, no problems we were looking forward to getting together. I am not about to call him or email him to ask him why as I feel that should be up to him to tell me why on his own effort without me chasing him."

THen you send him another poem after not hearing from him:

"So perhaps you didn?t want things to go on the way I had hoped they would"
"It is understandable if you only wanted some good times and sex"
"Whether it be me or someone else or your own special deal
I will remember you fondly and glad that I got to feel
What I have for you because that is a blessing
It has shown me that I am capable of loving"

LOVING? you barely know the guy....

My lesson learned with Aqua Men is things develop on their terms; if you rush them, then they go into hiding.

That's what I mean when I say he's being nice by choosing to be non-confrontational. If he says he'll call you, then let him call you....do not make any more attempts to contact him - no phone calls, no email, no texting....if you do, i'm very confident that he will lose all interest in you because you aren't giving him the Aqua space he feels he needs.

"

Yes I did send another email because I was fretting over the situation too much and as it turned out it worked out fine. I can love his spirit and how he is as a person without knowing him well, havent you ever met someone and felt strongly about them yet you really dont know them? I did send him an email to thank him for getting in touch and explaining what was going on. I told him his email was enough and not to worry about spending time with me right now. I said I will look forward to whenever he can spend time with me. I feel like I was not pressuring him with my last email, just offering my understanding, thankfulness, and patience and I do intend to let him contact now.

all aqua man does is dissapear, get used to it;(

elly I think you may be right. This is the second time he has been unavailable. The first time he went to Las Vegas with his sons but forgot to mention to me that he was going. Naturally after 13 days without a word, I was a bit frantic but when he returned he was completely engaged with me as if nothing was wrong. Well since I have received his reply from my email that he does still want to see me but he has been busy with work, and that he would get in touch that day later, I have not heard from him again. I had sent him an email just to thank him and not to worry about getting in touch till his work problems were resolved, well he has not even read that email so he wouldnt even know that I have said not to worry. Ahhh, I am probably better off finding someone else to date. I just know if he comes around I will be glad.