Aquarian Attachment....

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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

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oh girl thats some BS...Aqua's are too busy loving themselves or in most cases hating themselves to think about ex lovers. Most Aquas including myself...when were done, were done. I might reflect back to how pure that moment was but as for as holding that lover in high regard or reverting back to the past hmmmmmm nope...next 😄

Most Aquas reflect on the past but when it comes to love, well most Aquas aren't experiencing that much love as it is, so the person in front of him/her at that time and moment is the true love, atleast this has been my experience.

Most Aqua men can't even deal with current relationships in a balanced manner, thinking about an ex lover is way too much work lol!.
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Lady_M
@Lady_M
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I say yes they do....when its done...its done...BUT I assure you they'll never love the same again (like most people of course...but aquas moreso than others).


I know plenty of aqua guys who hold torches for their first loves. AND yes many of these women treated them like pure dirt (ive got alot aqua guy friends). They do move on...they just dont put their "All" (whatever that was at that time) in it again....or it may take them ALOT longer to.

We have an issue about not breaking up completely though..so there are alot of factors to this theory.
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pattylaindia
@pattylaindia
18 Years

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I think its true. I knew one aqua, whom everygirl that he shows some interest or flirts with resembles his first love. The hair color, feature and other things. Once he gets to know them, and figures out that they are nothing like his first love, he moves on to the next one.

I think if a guy shows interest in a girls that sort of looks like his old flame, then he stills looking for that long lost love.
How sad for them.
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

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Sadge22 most Aquas don't look back...we keep going forward, this is a progressive sign and most of us aren't stupid to keep banging a dead horse...don't even worry about it.

I have found when I was younger that I would have one guy that resembled the next, through maturity that streak was broken, most Aquas don't hold old flames to heart like most people believe, we hold dear the good things/qualities and thats what's dear and near to us but the person itself we know thats a dead done deal so what some feel is holding an old flame in high regards is misinterpreted in my opinion, Aquas hold anything and anyone near to heart that played a positive role but it doesn't mean we want that person back.

Aquas may seek traits in other person that he/she had in the first love bt the first love itself is over and out.
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Sadge22
@Sadge22
18 Years

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"Aquas may seek traits in other person that he/she had in the first love bt the first love itself is over and out."

Thanks Tiki....

We have talked about this...

Everytime he mentions her, he apologizes first for bringing her up... so I get the impression that he respects that I might not want to hear about her...

We have talked about our pasts... and he did tell me that he loves her, but he said that it was cause he cares about her... and I completely understand that. I think we've all got one of those in our past...

I'm just nervous cause I have heard about how much of a coniving b*tch this girl was/is and I would hate for her to come between us... but, as mentioned, whatever will be, will be....everything happens for a reason.

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Sadge22
@Sadge22
18 Years

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"I see mine exactly as is really was...two kids in lust/love, yet not really knowing what to do with it or how to nurture it. To me, it was little more than a learning experience."

That about Sums it up...

She's really pushing hard to get back into his life now though, I think she finally see's what she threw away....his friends have even told him he's CRAZY if he has anything to do with her. I actually received a call from his Best Friend last night telling me not to worry about her, cause he said he would kick my guys ass if he ever got back with her... I still can't help but be nervous...
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

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Sadge the BEST advice I could give you is to be CONFIDENT in the face of conflict, don't flinch and for God's sake don't have a big ole discussion about it, let him figure it out for himself, what I can say that may help you look more desirable in his eyes is to not cause any drama, don't allow your emotions to run wild b/c she's in the mix. Stay calm and if he wants to discuss it, you listen and support him.

Trust me on this one, the more it's talked about the more it becomes real, conversations will get back to your boyfriend and things get twisted and the whole thing takes on a life of itself....stop listening to friends, politely tell them you understand their concern but your okay, if you continue to allow people to nip at your ear your about this issue you will eventually lose your cool with Aqua.

Don't focus on her, focus on the present and stay positive, he will sense your positive energy and feel safe to discuss it if he needs to. Let your actions speak for you okay.

I know it's hard to let things like this go but it will be better for you in the long run to dismiss and continue on in your relationship as if she's non-existent b/c honestly she is.
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Sadge22
@Sadge22
18 Years

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"Don't focus on her, focus on the present and stay positive, he will sense your positive energy and feel safe to discuss it if he needs to. Let your actions speak for you okay.

I know it's hard to let things like this go but it will be better for you in the long run to dismiss and continue on in your relationship as if she's non-existent b/c honestly she is."

I don't focus on her... She's more of a Speed bump....lol

It's just something I wondered about only becuase I heard Aqua's are often hung up on their first love. I've never been in love, so I can't relate.

🙂

Thanks Tiki!
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

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I wouldn't use the word hung up in that context, it's not always the person that were hung up on, it's more of the good qualities of that person, the most admirable part of the person that makes an Aqua stay intrigued, it could be a look, a smell, a smile, it could be the feeling of being in love but this doesn't mean I would want that person back, I can't speak for all Aqua's of course but for me it's never the person I truly want back, it's the moment of the relationship that I want to recapture and hold onto but not the person, I'm fully aware of why I left a relationship, I have went back to an ex to play but never to stay and that's rare for me to even do that with an ex, it was only one ex I did that with because I wasn't sure of his feelings or my feelings and I wanted to make sure I wasn't missing something but he was the ONLY guy I had that kind of feeling for.
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moonchild8
@moonchild8
19 Years1,000+ Posts

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yeah, i would say that he looks at you as someone who is more than a friend. he is intimate with you and you said he has only been intimate with one other person, so that should say a lot right there.
if he is spending quality time with you, then you are dating. if he is enjoying himself just being with you, then he is into you. i don't think you have anything to worry about.
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moonchild8
@moonchild8
19 Years1,000+ Posts

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"so you mean you should ignore smth that's not right just so that you can "have fun"?"

- i am not saying that...i am just saying that at the stage she is at with her aqua (which is only a couple of months), she shouldn't worry too much about anything. she should just go with the flow for now and enjoy the moment.
if she feels that something is not right between her and him, then yes...she should address that and talk to him about it. she should not hold it in and let it biuld up over time...i agree with you on that. however, it seems that everything is smooth sailing between the two of them, so far.
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Sadge22
@Sadge22
18 Years

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"There's nothing wrong with this...when we say keep communication to a minimum doesn't mean there should be zero communication, just don't overdo it and give the guy a chance to take some initiative, that's all. And also, be selective in your communication..."

It's amazing what practicing a little bit of patience can do... especially when you're crazy about someone and all you want is to hear from them.

I have taken in a lot of the advice you guys have given (UC, MC, and tiki etc...)and as a result... he's been contacting me like crazy! Dropping little messages here and there just saying hi and such... it's amazing how this has worked out. LOL

We have made plans for next weekend, and we're both very excited....it should be good!

Thanks to all!

xo

Sadge.....
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scorp47e
@scorp47e
18 Years

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unusualcancer,

I have known him for just 3 months. Since then we've met just 5-6 times. He vanished for a month after our second meeting. Then out of nowhere called one day as if nothing happened. The relationship was exactly how its described in the forum. Hardly any calls and he is always busy. I am a shy person so he had to ask several times to kiss or hug. He told me he had informed his sister also about our relation but I never met his family.
After one night he is gone again.

I feel so foolish, confused..! This forum is such a relief but it makes me more optimistic about him comming back. Difficult to wait or move on.
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Sadge22
@Sadge22
18 Years

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"We have an issue about not breaking up completely though..so there are alot of factors to this theory."

Can I get an aqua to elborate on this statement a little...?

The Ex is back in town, and even though my Aqua and I have stated we aren't seeing other people, I am curious as to the likelyhood of him giving in to her advances.... I trust him... I believe his word is bond, but I don't trust her, and wonder how he might handle her being back.

ty

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Sadge22
@Sadge22
18 Years

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Coles Notes:

I've followed my Aqua rule book to a 'T' and my Aqua is a good guy.

After 6 months he and I have agreed that we don't see other people...that's as far as we have got in terms of where we stand with one another.... his Ex is contacting him, and trying to make plans with him on this, my birthday weekend....


We had tentitive plans, and now I've heard through our mutual friend that the party has been cancelled, but now I'm wondering if they're trying to make it a surprise party......

Regardless, I'm concerned about the ex thing... his friends have told me not to worry about it, but I can't help but wonder if he'll follow through with these plans... and if he does, is that just cause to end our budding relationship....