Aquarius FWB...should I end things?

I have Aquarius questions and need some advice or opinions:

I've been friends with him for about 5 years now and and just recently, we decided to become friends with benefits. But there was something he said to me that I haven't been able to stop thinking about...

He's told me twice so far that this is what he wanted from the beginning (sleeping with me) and at first, I thought he was saying it as a heat of the moment thing, but now I'm unsure.

I want to bring it up to him and I'm likely going to end our situation because I value our friendship (if we were ever really friends to begin with) a lot more than the sex. I'm just not sure how he's going to take it.

I won't lie and say that it doesn't hurt me if he never truly valued our friendship, but I hate how emotional I am over it.

Any advice? Should I reach out to him or just drop it and decline the encounters from now on? Or should I end the friendship entirely?

Sounds like he waited a long time to have sex with you.

During the 5 years, did you both date other people?

He could have been always attracted to you and never acted on it

I think you should clarify with him what he meant.

Cause I'm guessing he thought it would be a flattering compliment "I've always wanted you" vibes. Instead your over here sweating bullets assuming the worst.

Posted by DMV

Sounds like he waited a long time to have sex with you.

During the 5 years, did you both date other people?

He could have been always attracted to you and never acted on it

So, I dated other people and was even engaged at one point during the 5 years. We drift apart and come back together as if nothing ever happened and it has been that way from the beginning. I'm unsure if he was dating or is dating, but I would be surprised if he wasn't.

I knew that he was attracted to me from day one, but I was dating someone at the time and I wasn't trying to pursue anything further with him. It wasn't until about 2 years ago that my feelings for him (sexual attraction) changed.

I guess I was a little in my feelings because I want the sex to be more consistent, but he tells me how busy he is, so it's not happening very often. I'm busy too, but I can definitely carve out some time for sex.

Then again, we're in two different stages of our lives: he's older, established, divorced and has children. I'm younger, trying to make a name for myself, single and child free.

Posted by LadyNeptune

I think you should clarify with him what he meant.

Cause I'm guessing he thought it would be a flattering compliment "I've always wanted you" vibes. Instead your over here sweating bullets assuming the worst.

I want to talk to him, but I'm afraid I'm coming off as clingy. I'm feeling a lot better now, so I'll just wait for him to reach out to me.

Posted by Chelsey07

Posted by DMV

Sounds like he waited a long time to have sex with you.

During the 5 years, did you both date other people?

He could have been always attracted to you and never acted on it

So, I dated other people and was even engaged at one point during the 5 years. We drift apart and come back together as if nothing ever happened and it has been that way from the beginning. I'm unsure if he was dating or is dating, but I would be surprised if he wasn't.

I knew that he was attracted to me from day one, but I was dating someone at the time and I wasn't trying to pursue anything further with him. It wasn't until about 2 years ago that my feelings for him (sexual attraction) changed.

I guess I was a little in my feelings because I want the sex to be more consistent, but he tells me how busy he is, so it's not happening very often. I'm busy too, but I can definitely carve out some time for sex.

Then again, we're in two different stages of our lives: he's older, established, divorced and has children. I'm younger, trying to make a name for myself, single and child free.

click to expand

Ditto at the last line. Enjoy your passport, extra leg room, room service life style

Any thoughts to finding someone with the same libido and life style ?

I think you're confused on what you want yourself. Figure that out first. I don't understand why his comment bother you. You knew he was attracted to you from the beginning. Do you want to stay friends only or fwb? If you only want to stay friends then don't sleep with him. Simple as that.

i think you're over thinking things.

i'm with @timone on this one

Posted by Aquarelle

If becoming FWB was a mutual agreement, then both of you can quit.

And now you are upset because he told you twice that he wanted to sleep with you from the day you became friends. My guess is he was just being honest. And yes, it could mean that your "friendship"was never what you thought it was. Judging by his words there is a big chance he was waiting for you to sleep with him at some point.

So it's up to you what you do with that. If you really valued the friendship, why did you agree to the FWB in the first place? It can wreck friendships easily. It seems you both didn't value this friendship enough? If you feel betrayed by him, just ask him if he was just in it for the sex.

I guess it's up to you now if you still consider this to be a friendship. Is this how you want your friendships to be?

If not, you know what to do....

No, my friendships don't usually go this route, but I felt comfortable with him and there's been sexual tension between us for a while now. My head is telling me to let it go and then sometimes it tells me to relax and stop overthinking things.

I'm chilling for now and let him reach out to me if he wants and I'll let him know then.

Posted by Timone

I think you're confused on what you want yourself. Figure that out first. I don't understand why his comment bother you. You knew he was attracted to you from the beginning. Do you want to stay friends only or fwb? If you only want to stay friends then don't sleep with him. Simple as that.

And I am. When we're together, my mind tells me why our friendship should never go beyond sex, but when we're apart, my mind starts to romanticize everything between us. It's seriously annoying.

I guess the comment bothered me because even though I slept with him, I still see him as a person as well. His comment made me feel like I'm nothing but a piece of ass--and objectified.