Aquarius Men - Liars without courage or emotions avoiding traits?

Hi all and especially to Aquarians in the forum

It's been a roller coaster between me and my Aquarius boyfriend. He showed his commitment by asking me for future moving in and living together. He also said the 3 big words with me being off guards. I had happiest days until I grew my curiosity to dig into some information of his ex on social media.

He admitted from the beginning of dating me about having a late wife and ex-es who he had been with from year to year. But recently I learned from his ex's close friend that he might be already having a 3yr old daughter (just my plain guessing because the baby girl and he look pretty much alike and that I found some photos where he spent time for the baby girl, besides she's for sure the daughter to his ex). But when I calmly asked him, he still said he does not have any kids. Previously, I once asked him directly and randomly and he skipped the question.

I understood that some men are sensitive and closed when it comes to their past but as Aquarians, it is negative signal/red flag when you hide such big important thing (like having kids with ex partner) from your current partner? (we have been dating for more than 1 year).

I am so confused and taking a break from communicating with him to avoid insensitive or uncontrollable emotions.

I need his stronger justifications but I am losing hope day by day.

Does it matter if he has a child before his relationship with you? Maybe he thinks he might be the father but doesn’t have any confirmation if it. The ex may have denied it and he hasn’t asked for a paternity test or is in denial himself.

If you are going to ask him his story, start with telling him that if he does have a child it’s not going to effect your relationship so that he knows he has nothing to worry about and feels comfortable opening up.

Posted by Wildd_Flo

Hmm... if you push, he will push back but it’s true aquas open up slowly until we trust you. We worry that the sensitive info we tell others will back fire on us. If that does happen... it won’t go well.

Introducing your child to someone you’ve dated for a year is a hit or miss. He may or may not but, he’s definitely observing you. In my experience; I’m hesitant. My daughter is my jewel. I won’t bring her just around anyone, you gotta be someone I trust.

Did you reach out to the exes close friend? How do you know them?

I actually traced some facebook profiles linked together to find those info and have not talked to anyone involved as I never know them in real life. Still, his ex has been keeping “in relationship” status with him on her facebook which caused me even doubted more.

I never intended to react negatively if he tells me he has kids. I just don’t want lies.

Who lies about something that big? Would make me wonder what else he's lying about. If he can't be honest with someone he's been seeing for more than a year then I wouldn't waste another day with him.

The child may not be his and if he was with his ex during the time she had a child ofc there might be some photos of them together. I would just ask him if his ex has a child and who the father is.

Posted by Wildd_Flo

Posted by bubupapo

Posted by Wildd_Flo

Hmm... if you push, he will push back but it’s true aquas open up slowly until we trust you. We worry that the sensitive info we tell others will back fire on us. If that does happen... it won’t go well.

Introducing your child to someone you’ve dated for a year is a hit or miss. He may or may not but, he’s definitely observing you. In my experience; I’m hesitant. My daughter is my jewel. I won’t bring her just around anyone, you gotta be someone I trust.

Did you reach out to the exes close friend? How do you know them?

I actually traced some facebook profiles linked together to find those info and have not talked to anyone involved as I never know them in real life. Still, his ex has been keeping “in relationship” status with him on her facebook which caused me even doubted more.

I never intended to react negatively if he tells me he has kids. I just don’t want lies.

“Still, his ex has been keeping “in relationship” status with him on her facebook which caused me even doubted more.”

This is an issue. So do you feel that your the side woman being kept a secret?

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I was having mixed feeling about that too. But considering the facts he does not wear any rings and I went through his stuffs the whole time, he showed me where he was living and we have been together almost 24/7 during our 1st trip so I guess it could be either right or wrong about my thinking.

Thanks for interacting🙂

Posted by Timone

Who lies about something that big? Would make me wonder what else he's lying about. If he can't be honest with someone he's been seeing for more than a year then I wouldn't waste another day with him.

The child may not be his and if he was with his ex during the time she had a child ofc there might be some photos of them together. I would just ask him if his ex has a child and who the father is.

He never hesitated to tell me everything about his parents, siblings and even his personal properties but pretty cautious about ex-es as he dislikes seeing me compare myself to other women.

I agree ask what you want to know and stop the snooping. It's disrespectful as hell. Also any guy who is too much of a coward to admit he has a child would not be for me. He should be shouting it from the rooftop and daring me to have a problem with it. That I would respect. It sounds like this guy not only has a child but is also in a relationship making you the interloper.

Well if you are paying them for sex and their time you are allowed to snoop to make sure you haven't hired a criminal or someone who has STDs. You have to get your money's worth. If you are just dating someone don't invade their privacy, ask what you want to know and if you don't get the right answer the good news is there are millions of other people out there to date. Just break up and try someone new.

Don't be with someone if your gonna trust their ex's best friend over them.

Posted by bubupapo

Posted by Timone

Who lies about something that big? Would make me wonder what else he's lying about. If he can't be honest with someone he's been seeing for more than a year then I wouldn't waste another day with him.

The child may not be his and if he was with his ex during the time she had a child ofc there might be some photos of them together. I would just ask him if his ex has a child and who the father is.

He never hesitated to tell me everything about his parents, siblings and even his personal properties but pretty cautious about ex-es as he dislikes seeing me compare myself to other women.

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Do you bring that up often? I mean comparing yourself to other women that is.

I just can't imagine being with someone without the trust and honesty there.

Posted by aquarius_man_

Posted by Dread_Pirate_Phanta

"Don't go snooping..."

lol

Do y'all know what times we live in? Future employers snoop you. Potential dates snoop you. Everyone snoops you.

if you re an idiot with a linkedin & fb account set to public, sure they snoop you

nicknames & privacy settings & VPNs were invented to keep people from sticking their noses where they shouldn't, my 2p

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Hey if you leave your phone open around me Imma take that as an invite.

But op is some next level ish. She's not going through his phone, she's messaging his ex's bestie and asking if the kid he's in old photos with his ex is his biological kid. If I'm the ex's friend who wants to fuck up his relationship because he hurt/left my friend I'll be petty af and tell her yeah that's his secret child he's hiding from you. Dump his ass.

Never trust information from someone with a horse in the race. Ulterior motives are real.

Posted by aquarius_man_

Posted by LadyNeptune

Hey if you leave your phone open around me Imma take that as an invite.

I stopped here. That's not an invite. The phone is VERY personal. Don't touch it.

I left it in the room and I went to take a shower and my then gf comes knocking: hey, your sluts are calling you (they were both Arieș, they should have been friends, why did she have to call the other girl a slut, i don t know; and why didn't I put the other girl in my phone book under a guy's name, I don't know). Same gf, without actually going through my computer, found out that I had cheated on her with a Libra (poetic Libra would write long ass post coital mails) when the fucking mail just popped on the screen showing the mail's contents

Luckily, I ve learned my lesson since then. Im locking everything

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Its almost like you wanted to be caught...

F that you must snoop in 2020

Posted by Dread_Pirate_Phanta

Posted by DonnaLibra

Well if you are paying them for sex and their time you are allowed to snoop to make sure you haven't hired a criminal or someone who has STDs. You have to get your money's worth. If you are just dating someone don't invade their privacy, ask what you want to know and if you don't get the right answer the good news is there are millions of other people out there to date. Just break up and try someone new.

I actually agree with this. Just sayin', most everyone is gonna glance at your public social media accounts at some point.

Anyway, the onus should be on the liar to explain why the fuck he has a whole ass kid he kept secret, not the snooper.

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I agree but first the snooper has to actually ask HIM the question before he becomes the liar.

Hi all

Thanks for all the replied and (straightforward) advice. But I never meant to take this to a controversial thing.

Yeah I can’t deny that : sneaking into people’s social media accounts is not a right thing to get to know someone I date.

I haven’t go any further yet after his blunt answer.

He’s a sensitive person (most of Aquarians are I think so) so we both need time to process. If it’s meant to be when we’re ready to sit down and talk, it will be.

Posted by aquarius_man_

Posted by bubupapo

Yeah I can’t deny that : sneaking into people’s social media accounts is not a right thing to get to know someone I date.

Did you just edit your answer? Thought that I read you say that sneaking into their sm is the tight thing to do 😀It is not although a lot of people use it (I wasn’t aware that even on FB you can tell who s the last person you spoke with, as I would find out later when an Aries girl asked me why I still kept in touch with my Aries ex and I denied it at first then she said Don’t lie FB shows you who you ve been talking to at the top of the msg bar and Youve been talking to her)

What’s your sign? I think this Aquarius likes you but he thinks you re more naive than you actually are. Or doesn’t want you getting curious about his life before you. He sounds a bit dodgy but this could be two things: he s opening up slowly to you and he takes his time in doing so or he doesn’t care what you think about the issue as it’s not really your problem.

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Thanks for your reply.

Yes my typo mistake so I edited my post.

I am a Cap. I both clingy and independent depending on situations lol

He waited more than 1 year to tell me he loves me. He even offered to take of me financially partly. Except for his ex-es and his ex-fiancé, he barely hides about his information.

In fact, I didn’t contact any of the people related to his ex and not even befriending him on FB. I just simply was too curious about his ex and found out.

As for Aquarians, yes privacy and personal life is gold and a hard boundary.

But if it’s turning out he lied to me with intention, cannot proceed anymore.

Posted by Dread_Pirate_Phanta

Posted by DonnaLibra

Posted by Dread_Pirate_Phanta

Posted by DonnaLibra

Well if you are paying them for sex and their time you are allowed to snoop to make sure you haven't hired a criminal or someone who has STDs. You have to get your money's worth. If you are just dating someone don't invade their privacy, ask what you want to know and if you don't get the right answer the good news is there are millions of other people out there to date. Just break up and try someone new.

I actually agree with this. Just sayin', most everyone is gonna glance at your public social media accounts at some point.

Anyway, the onus should be on the liar to explain why the fuck he has a whole ass kid he kept secret, not the snooper.

I agree but first the snooper has to actually ask HIM the question before he becomes the liar.

She said in the OP, " But when I calmly asked him, he still said he does not have any kids. Previously, I once asked him directly and randomly and he skipped the question."

She also doesn't say that she snooped to find out about the kid in the first place. His friend told her, and then she snooped. I would not trust a guy who somehow forgot to mention they had a child for a whole year. He obviously doesn't take responsibility for his behaviors.

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Thanks for reply.

I contacted nobody in his ex’s network to be honest. But as their profiles are public. I easily found photos from 1-2 years ago showing that he’s in touch with his ex and joined a bday party of a little girl who looks alike to him with his ex featured in the pics.

Many parts of his family and friends and works are always clear to me and matched what he said but except for the “kids with ex” thing is pretty a dark side now.

Avoid, don't invest anymore feelings in this guy.

Hi all, I wanna stir this up a bit. My story can be some kind like an eye-opener to some people who're dating Aquarius men.

I randomly googled his "likely" ex's name and surprisingly learned that they're still together as married couple during the time he started dating/flirting with me. (She went on a Europe trip exactly with same timing and locations as his that time). I don’t think there is such type of coincidence here: hanging out with “ex” and her kid then travel with timeline just 1-2 days later.

I unconsciously stayed "the other woman" during the past one year thanks to his perfect covering skills.

I don't find confrontation a necessity anymore (and haven't done it) because he's just gonna lie straight o my face about the "having kids" matter. I kept silent since the moment I found out about that. And since he has not been an attentive, communicative "partner" since the past 2 months despite my understanding attitude for him, I think he's getting away from this already.

Though he parted from that (ex) wife physically during the past recent 6 months he's dating me with his commitment, I still cannot buy in or accept the fact he's been hiding such important thing from me since the beginning.

So ladies, and I am sorry if some Aquarius men here may find this offensive, please stay awake and set your mind clear if you find your Aquarius men too secretive or too closed-off.

Posted by bubupapo

Hi all and especially to Aquarians in the forum

It's been a roller coaster between me and my Aquarius boyfriend. He showed his commitment by asking me for future moving in and living together. He also said the 3 big words with me being off guards. I had happiest days until I grew my curiosity to dig into some information of his ex on social media.

He admitted from the beginning of dating me about having a late wife and ex-es who he had been with from year to year. But recently I learned from his ex's close friend that he might be already having a 3yr old daughter (just my plain guessing because the baby girl and he look pretty much alike and that I found some photos where he spent time for the baby girl, besides she's for sure the daughter to his ex). But when I calmly asked him, he still said he does not have any kids. Previously, I once asked him directly and randomly and he skipped the question.

I understood that some men are sensitive and closed when it comes to their past but as Aquarians, it is negative signal/red flag when you hide such big important thing (like having kids with ex partner) from your current partner? (we have been dating for more than 1 year).

I am so confused and taking a break from communicating with him to avoid insensitive or uncontrollable emotions.

I need his stronger justifications but I am losing hope day by day.

NAH ! I dont know about aqua man... I have never dated one, bc I think they are too stubborn hahaha... But when I like someone Im very clear and open about what's going on cuz I don't like my partner to know I'm trustworthy. If he is not sitting down to give you a breakdown of with is really going on.

Dont take butter from him, if he hasn't clarify that situation for you, he wont do it... when I like someone Im very clear since the beginning. i don't hide shit. And I will not do anything to hurt my partner or make them feel they cant trust me.

Tell him you will End up things until he can come clear..... if he cares , he will tell you all of it.

Posted by aquarius_man_

Posted by bubupapo

Hi all and especially to Aquarians in the forum

It's been a roller coaster between me and my Aquarius boyfriend.

I need his stronger justifications but I am losing hope day by day.

Usually I like to give encouraging advice. This time around, you're dealing with a liar. Until he comes clear, I would suggest you start avoiding him - he s taking you for a fool. Ask him that, if he wants to be with you, he needs to come clean.

And oh: don't do this ever again with an Aqua: '' I had happiest days until I grew my curiosity to dig into some information of his ex on social media.''. Just DON'T. We get pretty mad over it.

That being said, he owes you some explanations. Until then, best to keep him at bay for a change.

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I didnt see this post before I sent my reply.. but this is exactly what I think.... !!!

If he really wants to be with you ... you wouldn't have to be digging into nobodies shit.... he will make it all clear to you !!