Help me to understand my aquarius man

I have been in a relationship with a aquarius man for 2 and a half years and find him extremly hard to understand sometimes due to his unique way of thinking... we found out we were expecting a baby last year amd we were both extremely happy, he has been supportive in someways but emotionally not atall to the point I felt like he didn't care im quite emotional anyway but found this really hard to cope with in the current covid circumstances not being able to work and being stuck at home with 2 children already trying to homeschooling alone whilst he worked harder than usual and out all his focus to that, i found out he was talking to a female "friend" behind my back deleted messages only spoke to her when he wasn't with me and hid the friendship completely from me... I questioned him lost my shit and felt completely broken as I was already struggling with things and my past relationship with my kids father was a toxic one he lied hid stuff and cheated on me so I have trust issues anyway... I never thought my man could hurt me like this and didnt belive he was that kind of person to hide things from me as we've always been honest amd open with eachother so it really hurt my feelings, in this time I spoke to family and friends who didn't have have good opinion of him spoke badly of him and didn't really help me in a positive way which made me feed negativity towards him... I spoke to him and told him their opinions and he believes I allowed these people to speak ill of him and didntbjabe his back when all I wanted was help and understanding everytimeni spoke to him about how I was feeling he got defensive and angry with me... he says I've destroyed loyalty by talking to others and I should trust his word with no questions regardless of how upset lost and broken i felt he didn't understand... when I got to 37 weeks pregnant he left me and now our child is 4 weeks old and I'm raising 3 kids on my own with very little help from him... he has turned so cold nasty and stubborn towards me and my kids when all of want is to make things better and move forwad together for the sake of us and our baby out relationship was loving before all of this mess... I truly love this man and know I've let him down but I don't know how to fix this... I dont want my life without him how can I repair this?? He says he still loves me but doesn't trust me which I found confusing at first but now I kind of understand he thinks I've been speaking bad of him amdbtjays broken his trust when all I wanted was emotional support throughout this pandemic and my pregnancy

I'm sorry that this happened to you. Please have no shame or guilt for speaking to family and friends about what happened! This is what you should always do when in emotional distress...they know you well and want the best for you! This is your emotional support circle! Only a psychopath, a narcissist or other type of asshole would call you out on this, and ask you to break up with your circle of trust, so he can manipulate and control you! Loyalty, my ass...the hypocrite! The selfish scumbag was cheating behind your back, and after being caught, claimed that YOU were disloyal...?!

If your friends and family didn't have a good opinion of him and spoke badly of him, it's because they distrusted and disliked him, and THEY WERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT to feel that way! It was you who were blindsided by your love, and still are, but blame yourself not...your eyes will open widely and see what a pathetic loser he is, once you fall out of love.

You want to understand an Aquarius man? Firstly, he's not your man! If you can't trick an Aqua to marry you, you are on a borrowed time with him! Let me introduce you to the Aqua men I know pretty well:

1) My father. Serial cheater and liar. I would classify him as a "good father", but only because I have an independent spirit and got on well with him (we share the same Venus and Mercury, in Aqua). He was not a father....he would throw me in the lions's mouth to protect his skin! Like when he put the blame on me for something he did, which resulting in my narcissistic mother insulting and yelling at me on a daily basis for months, until the truth finally came out. There was a "joke" in our household, that if my sister and I would happen to be kidnapped, it will take him 3 days to notice our absence!

2) My ex husband's best friend. He left his family with two young children (4 and 1 years old) and married another woman only a couple of months after his divorce was finalised. After two failed marriages, refused to be "tied down" even after he fathered another two kids, and also broke up with their mother when kinds were young.

3)The boyfriend of my sister in law. Started an affair with her when he was still married. It took him five years to divorce his wife, and only after she accidentally found out that he was having an affair, by reading a text message. A few years later, this time my sister in law found out (in the same way!) that he was cheating on her! She still asks herself to this day why did he buy a house together with her, when he had already checked out emotionally and was "in love" with another woman....? The mystery of the Aqua brain, lol.

4) My own ex-boyfriend. He lied about his age, about his past (he had so many versions, he kept forgetting them, lol), about his social media presence (found out by accident that he had a FB account where he BLOCKED my main account! There, he was liking and commenting on all ALL posts of a woman who was young enough to be his daughter! Plus other shady stuff....

Wow. He flipped the script on you.

He was doing wrong behind your back and it was a vulnerable time for you both.

He used you seeking advice from others to guilt trip you and take the heat off of him. Others most likely spoke the truth about him and that’s bad press for him. He made his choices. Why he doesn’t see that this all stems from his choices, idk.

That’s not right.

I’d say today is a great day to start treating yourself better. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You have to be the best version of yourself for you and your kids.

Get moving on that child support order.

Posted by Lollypop

I have been in a relationship with a aquarius man for 2 and a half years and find him extremly hard to understand sometimes due to his unique way of thinking... we found out we were expecting a baby last year amd we were both extremely happy, he has been supportive in someways but emotionally not atall to the point I felt like he didn't care im quite emotional anyway but found this really hard to cope with in the current covid circumstances not being able to work and being stuck at home with 2 children already trying to homeschooling alone whilst he worked harder than usual and out all his focus to that, i found out he was talking to a female "friend" behind my back deleted messages only spoke to her when he wasn't with me and hid the friendship completely from me... I questioned him lost my shit and felt completely broken as I was already struggling with things and my past relationship with my kids father was a toxic one he lied hid stuff and cheated on me so I have trust issues anyway... I never thought my man could hurt me like this and didnt belive he was that kind of person to hide things from me as we've always been honest amd open with eachother so it really hurt my feelings, in this time I spoke to family and friends who didn't have have good opinion of him spoke badly of him and didn't really help me in a positive way which made me feed negativity towards him... I spoke to him and told him their opinions and he believes I allowed these people to speak ill of him and didntbjabe his back when all I wanted was help and understanding everytimeni spoke to him about how I was feeling he got defensive and angry with me... he says I've destroyed loyalty by talking to others and I should trust his word with no questions regardless of how upset lost and broken i felt he didn't understand... when I got to 37 weeks pregnant he left me and now our child is 4 weeks old and I'm raising 3 kids on my own with very little help from him... he has turned so cold nasty and stubborn towards me and my kids when all of want is to make things better and move forwad together for the sake of us and our baby out relationship was loving before all of this mess... I truly love this man and know I've let him down but I don't know how to fix this... I dont want my life without him how can I repair this?? He says he still loves me but doesn't trust me which I found confusing at first but now I kind of understand he thinks I've been speaking bad of him amdbtjays broken his trust when all I wanted was emotional support throughout this pandemic and my pregnancy

He says he doesn't trust you because he was the one doing it behind your back it is not you who has the issues here it is him.

It's all psychological because he is one who has done wrong here and now because you are running around after him he will continue to treat you in this manner I understand its hard as all you want is a steady happy relationship for your family but stick to you guns and look after your self ignor him unless it's to do with the little one believe me.

Posted by Lollypop

I have been in a relationship with a aquarius man for 2 and a half years and find him extremly hard to understand sometimes due to his unique way of thinking... we found out we were expecting a baby last year amd we were both extremely happy, he has been supportive in someways but emotionally not atall to the point I felt like he didn't care im quite emotional anyway but found this really hard to cope with in the current covid circumstances not being able to work and being stuck at home with 2 children already trying to homeschooling alone whilst he worked harder than usual and out all his focus to that, i found out he was talking to a female "friend" behind my back deleted messages only spoke to her when he wasn't with me and hid the friendship completely from me... I questioned him lost my shit and felt completely broken as I was already struggling with things and my past relationship with my kids father was a toxic one he lied hid stuff and cheated on me so I have trust issues anyway... I never thought my man could hurt me like this and didnt belive he was that kind of person to hide things from me as we've always been honest amd open with eachother so it really hurt my feelings, in this time I spoke to family and friends who didn't have have good opinion of him spoke badly of him and didn't really help me in a positive way which made me feed negativity towards him... I spoke to him and told him their opinions and he believes I allowed these people to speak ill of him and didntbjabe his back when all I wanted was help and understanding everytimeni spoke to him about how I was feeling he got defensive and angry with me... he says I've destroyed loyalty by talking to others and I should trust his word with no questions regardless of how upset lost and broken i felt he didn't understand... when I got to 37 weeks pregnant he left me and now our child is 4 weeks old and I'm raising 3 kids on my own with very little help from him... he has turned so cold nasty and stubborn towards me and my kids when all of want is to make things better and move forwad together for the sake of us and our baby out relationship was loving before all of this mess... I truly love this man and know I've let him down but I don't know how to fix this... I dont want my life without him how can I repair this?? He says he still loves me but doesn't trust me which I found confusing at first but now I kind of understand he thinks I've been speaking bad of him amdbtjays broken his trust when all I wanted was emotional support throughout this pandemic and my pregnancy

He says he doesn't trust you because he was the one doing it behind your back it is not you who has the issues here it is him.

It's all psychological because he is one who has done wrong here and now because you are running around after him he will continue to treat you in this manner I understand its hard as all you want is a steady happy relationship for your family but stick to you guns and look after your self ignor him unless it's to do with the little one believe me.

Shifting the blame to you

Not good....

I was with two Aqua men ... of course they had good qualities but both of the them did this push/pull thing. Emotionally engaging and then detaching

It wasn’t for me.

Sorry you're going through this.

Only you can decide on what you want to do about him now. I agree with the other poster of him not wanting to be tied down with a child and the unplanned pregnancy. Birth control or some type of preventative measure is both of your responsibilities, especially since you were already a single mom of 2.

Can't do much about it now, but hopefully you will prevent future unplanned pregnancies when involved in your next relationship.

You're baby is only 4 weeks old, so post partum depression will be rearing it's ugly head soon too.

A bunch of strangers judging your relationship can feel extremely harsh right now, so go easy on yourself, take care of your baby and feel blessed to have the kids that you have. Being a single mom is hard, but women are strong and do it all the time.

Take comfort in the love your kids have for you, and you have for them, and try and refocus on them for now.

There's not much to do about getting him back if he doesn't want to come back. And he will probably still not change much if he does come back.

Thankyou for all of your comments, our baby was his idea he said it would complete us I didn't really want anymore children at first as my youngest is nearly 8 but I was swayed by his way of thinking we decided together to have the baby and she was totally planned? He.was talking about marriage a morgate together the lot so for him to just leave when us the way he did was pretty heart breaking for me amd my kids he hasn't bothered with my 2 since and hardly sees the baby but says ita my fault for breaking his trust he doesn't want to be around me but when he has been he is fine and still cuddles me says he will be there and then isn't, it's so confusing on all of us

It is not all your fault.

Yes, could have done a lot of things different but we’ve already crossed the bridge and it’s time for him to put his big boy pants on and handle his business.

You've known him for over 2 years. He's a stranger to us.

If you want to understand him better then communicate this with him.