I am in shock. Aqua shock.

As most of you have been reading my other 2 threads I have something crazy to tell you.

All of your advice was great, and Leokitten, I was thinking of making a bold move soon. Just so I knew either way....

Lastnight I saw him from my window. He was holing some girls hand as they crossed our street and walked into his apt.
He has a girlfriend! He has not told me anything about this at all!!! I have spent almost every weekend with him for the last 4 weeks. We talked about dating websites the last time I saw him. (11 days ago). We both agreed no one interesting was on there. The POOF his profile was gone and I see him with some girl.
My aqua tells me everything! Why did he hold this back?
I guess it is a sure sign to move on. Still be his friend of course, but move on.

Leo is in the corner licking her wounds. ;(

Don't tell him I know? OK I won't.
And be friendly that's it? what do you mean?

Ok. perfect. I am offically busy for an exteneded time.
No kidding! he doesn't TELL me he is seeing someone? He knows I live close to him and I might run into him. Thank goodness I saw it from my window so I could freak out in private.
I feel like he lied to me. But I know we're only friends. It just seems so very strange that he didn't mention this to me the last few times we spoke.

those darn sneaky aquas...

yes, they can be very selfish and they don't take into consideration other people's feelings...
BUT this could be his way of testing you to see how you would react to all of this, since he knows you live so close to him...he prob. figured you would see the two of them together. so, maybe he is testing you to see how you feel about him...hmmm

I think there's a reason why he hasen't mentioned her. When he does, I will be happy for him and go on with my day. I don't want to reveal my feelings so I can keep him wondering about my feelings....
stupid games!!!!!

IMO he's seeing what's out there. I wouldn't say that she's a girlfriend exclusively. She might be a date. Best advice is keep smiling when he calls you and never ever say a word. If you are the one for him then he's going to figure it out and chase you. He's free to do what he wants with who he wants as y'all aren't dating.

So play the field yourself. (If you can plan on letting him see you with another guy it could be fun to pay him back in kind if revenge is on your mind.) But either way never get angry or confrontational in front of him because an illusive smile is the best. He walked right outside your home with her, so it would shock me if he didn't wonder if you'd see. If he comes on to you, illusively say 'no thanks.' Confronting him will show him your weakness.

It's the best revenge really when you can throw that you are desirable back in his face. And if you want him to see that you are the best, playing the field and smiling that longing smile at another guy... it tells how he really felt about you.

He's a jerk though for walking her in front of your house like that. There are usually other streets to take, and if it's a date taking the longer route can be done EASILY.

But word of caution for all you truly know it might have been his sister or a touchy feely cousin type.

I don't think it was a cousin.....could have been a very good friend though. He has lots of them.
He had to walk under my window since that is the only way to get in the house.

My gut had bad news. The last time I called him, he told me a 'friend' was coming over. usually he says "Justin or Bob, or Colin..is coming over. he never says 'friend'. That was last wednesday. I had a gut feeling that night. that he wasn't as single as I thought. But why is he holding this back? Seriously, I know so much about him. And we talk about dating! he obviousally doesn't want me to know...yet.

I don't know what I will do when I see him. Do you guys think being aloof is the best idea?

Aquas don't get jealous in the usual sense. We are VERY sensitive. We can rationalize it away but the momentary feeling is there. Just seeing you smile and gaze at another guy is going to cause the question... if he then 'jokes' later 'oh I saw you on a date' you simply say 'I can't help it if men find me attractive...it's a curse sometimes.' It's a nonanswer like that which usually drives us mad because it's confident and cocky.

No I didn't ask. We tell eachother about our dates and last week he said he was fed up with online dating. i assumed he wasn't seeing anyone since A) he didn't mention it and he mentions everything! and B) we have seen so much of eachother, when did he find the time?
If I was seeing someone, I would want to tell him but I would feel like it would hurt him since we have been spending so much time together. I guess that is probably how he feels too. I met someone on the weekend and I didn't tell him.
i was kinda waiting for him...showing patience.
I can't very easily have another guy around for him to see me with but I think when he tells me about this lady, I will tell him I had a date too. And se from there what is said. I will tell him she is lucky. Because she really is.

This might have happened so recently, he hasn't had a chance to tell me. He will tell me, I know he will. Now i am ready for it. I have seen enough to say I have seen it all.

Thanks guys, for being there. I think for now I am going to lay low. Not run into him. Go about my life...go out and date. This aqua has been on my mind for so long now, I am sort of relieved that I know he wasn't waiting for me. Sometimes you just need to know. And I got to save face because I saw it from afar.

I was majorly confused on the status of the relationship earlier. It is best to be honest and brave enough to bare the soul. It can't hurt to mention in a nonconfrontational way 'I had been having fantasies of a possible romance between us, but it's cool that we're just friends. Happy either way.' If he doesn't know what you thought then he can't possibly know he hurt your crush.

I am not saying confess major feelings. Let him earn your trust. But it doesn't hurt to fess up to a crushing feeling and a c'est la vie attitude.

well I will find out tonight. he called me today to see if I wanted to borrow a CD he just got. We both love this band and we listen to it together.
Sorry for all the confusion. I don't think he is a player. I think maybe we are only friends and I got all wrapped up in the emotions I hold for him.
I will ask him about his love life tonight but I don't think I will tell him how much I like him.
Mystery is good.

I am 100% with Branh on this one! When a man is interested in YOU - he will NOT be intertaining another woman. If you allow him to still be in your life you then become part of the players game.

If this is okay with you...stay and "play" but, do not expect it to turn into a relationship.

If this is not what you are looking for - take Branh's advice "cut him off" and move on.

Why waste your time?

wiggins,

your feelings are valid...i know you didn't established anything with him, but the fact he is with someone hurted you because:

1) you two have been hanging out and sharing a lot more than what common casual friends woudl
2) he had all the chances to tell you he was dating people and yet he didn't

the things is though wiggins...i dated an aqua for over a year and we may be getting back together...AND she has MANY many friends that had all sort of crushes on her when we were dating...because i believe, besides the fun and good looks...she did develop a strong bond with some of them AND she made a great effort to see them a lot and spend a lot of one-of-one times with some of them...including this one guy i can't stand.

i think that is just the nature of aqua though, and i don't know why they do that. it its out of fear to get involved and give it all in one relationship...or because they like the attention...or because they fear to lose their freedom...i don't know.

what i do know though wiggins, is that being a close friend of one you feel attracted too can be very confusing it seems...and on ther other hand...dating one that has many close friends that do develop these feelings for them is just as hard on the other side.

take my advice...and do not be guided by how much you two spend together or how much effort or care he shows...until he and you don't talk about a possible relationship...treat it all and see it all just like a friendship...otherwise you will get confused and hurt.

be ONLY certain of his exclusive love when things are defined...and when/if you get there...do know that friends will always be part of his life, just like you are right now...if you are up for dealing with things like this be patience and work to gain his heart...if not...then just be a friend (they are great) but live your life and keep on moving.

vll

"what i do know though wiggins, is that being a close friend of one you feel attracted too can be very confusing it seems...and on ther other hand...dating one that has many close friends that do develop these feelings for them is just as hard on the other side." ~VLL

Good points you made here- remember, that this is who she is and she will not change unless she chooses to. So often, people get into relationships like this and THINK that the other person will change. nah....this usually does not happen.

So, basically what I am saying to you is, your Aqua fella is a guy who enjoys the company of other women - you are seeing who he is (not good, not bad) if you can deal with this type of relationship then I say ...go for it! Have no expectations - just make sure that you are happy in whatever choice you make for yourself 😉

Women need to date like a man! 😉

Unusualcancer- reads to me like your aqua friends behaviour is one of insecurity.

starfish , I just sent you a message