I love my Aquarius but damn

Is he really in too me I find myself asking the same question everyday. He says one thing but his action does the Complet opposite. I'm tired of expressing my love and not getting anything in return. Granted he makes me smile, but is this just who he is. Should I just except this emotionless creature or should I hold him tight and love him like no other. Help!
Sincerely CancerLove

To Accept or to hold on tight?
These are not mutually exclusive activities although I advise against any form of "holding tight" with Aqua. They don't appreciate feeling stifled.

I'm not sure if a stereotypical Cancerian can be happy with the aloof nature of the stereotypical Aquarian. You are bound to take his need for detachment and space personally and get hurt feelings time and time again which will annoy him and make you feel all the more un-cared for.

What do you mean when you say his actions say otherwise?

When I say his action are different I mean he says he loves me but he has a weird way of showing it. It's like he doesn't know the difference between being in love and just loving someone

Yams I've been doing this for 8 almost 9 months now and it's not working, but once I say Im leaving he gets so upset

Posted by 69CancerLove
When I say his action are different I mean he says he loves me but he has a weird way of showing it. It's like he doesn't know the difference between being in love and just loving someone

What is the difference, to you?

Posted by 69CancerLove
Yams I've been doing this for 8 almost 9 months now and it's not working, but once I say Im leaving he gets so upset

Don't threaten it unless you mean it. If you're only saying that to get a reaction from him, it's going to eventually backfire. If you mean it, do it. If you don't and keep saying it, he won't take it seriously and won't change anything.

You're going to have to decide if what he is giving is enough for you. I promise, whatever he's doing now, he'll be doing in a year, it won't change. If it's not enough now, it won't be in the future.

The way an aqua shows love is NOT the way a cancer shows love, so perhaps you're looking for bigger actions than he's giving.

Aqua actions of love are subtle and on the down low. For instance - he's there, he is consistent, he doesn't disappear, he does what he says, calls when he says, contacts you daily, takes you out to dinner/movie/date, spends money on you, sends you a joke he thinks you will like, invites you to join friends and family (family is BIG for aqua), isn't afraid to hold your hand in public, brings you a little inexpensive gift, does things you want to do, helps you do things that you need help with....

Yeah, yeah, a friend would do all that too. But, an aqua isn't going to treat just any girl that way. Read the posts on here.

So perhaps is actually IS showing love through actions?

Posted by truecap

Posted by 69CancerLove
Yams I've been doing this for 8 almost 9 months now and it's not working, but once I say Im leaving he gets so upset

Don't threaten it unless you mean it. If you're only saying that to get a reaction from him, it's going to eventually backfire. If you mean it, do it. If you don't and keep saying it, he won't take it seriously and won't change anything.

You're going to have to decide if what he is giving is enough for you. I promise, whatever he's doing now, he'll be doing in a year, it won't change. If it's not enough now, it won't be in the future.

The way an aqua shows love is NOT the way a cancer shows love, so perhaps you're looking for bigger actions than he's giving.

Aqua actions of love are subtle and on the down low. For instance - he's there, he is consistent, he doesn't disappear, he does what he says, calls when he says, contacts you daily, takes you out to dinner/movie/date, spends money on you, sends you a joke he thinks you will like, invites you to join friends and family (family is BIG for aqua), isn't afraid to hold your hand in public, brings you a little inexpensive gift, does things you want to do, helps you do things that you need help with....

Yeah, yeah, a friend would do all that too. But, an aqua isn't going to treat just any girl that way. Read the posts on here.

So perhaps is actually IS showing love through actions?

click to expand

^This this and more this.

I am a Cancer in a long term relationship with an Aqua and I can pretty much promise you that if you cannot feel loved with small gestures you are never going to be happy with an aqua. Their way of showing love is more subtle, and in my opinion more genuine than showy declarations of adoration (Which cancers LOVE)

For example my bf just spent time hacking a game so that all my guns and class mods were upgraded, and spent time playing with me even though he was tired from working. He would absolutely not do that for anyone else, and I know that so it makes me feel very special. In fact i'm a little swoony atm cause the way he said "I love you" just now as he was leaving for bved was really genuine and sweet.

Forget the romance movie stuff it's not their style .

Everything was helpful guys thank you so much. I hate being so fucking emotional. I love the man but he so complex and I find myself trying to figuring things out and I hate that he tells me he loves me but treats me like I'm just a friend. I guess it comes down to me wanting to know are we just friends or more but he never gives a straight answer when I ask. Man love sucks

Aquarius78 that's exactly what it seems like! I've been trying to find a way to put this in words for 8 months now

Please help me understand I feel like we are way too different and that's going to cause a huge problem and I also feel like I will sacrifice my feeling for him but that's not who I am and that feels fake to me

Aquarius78 if that's what I have to do then I will have to move on. I treat my friends like my friends and my love as a lover not a friend who I happen to have sex with. That's not who I am and i can't chsnge for someone but I have no problem with meeting you on the morning. I don't want him to feel like he's obligated to my feelings but he could take them into consideration

Posted by 69CancerLove
Aquarius78 that's exactly what it seems like! I've been trying to find a way to put this in words for 8 months now

It took my aqua a year and a half to tell me how he felt.

Posted by 69CancerLove
Aquarius78 if that's what I have to do then I will have to move on. I treat my friends like my friends and my love as a lover not a friend who I happen to have sex with. That's not who I am and i can't chsnge for someone but I have no problem with meeting you on the morning. I don't want him to feel like he's obligated to my feelings but he could take them into consideration

Again, if you don't like the way he is in a relationship, best to move on. You either get used to it and learn to read the positive things and take them for what they are, or you keep focusing on the negative and that will tear your relationship apart. Believe me, I think I know how you feel. 8 months in, I was experiencing that same frustration you are. So, I've been where you are. I have my own threads of frustration on here. But, patience is key. Getting to know and understand his love language is key. My aqua and I have learned to navigate the middle ground, we have learned each others love language and have adjusted. It takes a lot of understanding, a little give and take, a smidgen of compromise - just like any other relationship.

It takes a strong, confident, independent woman to be with an aqua. You have to reassure yourself, they're not responsible for doing it for you.

Posted by aquarius78

Posted by 69CancerLove
Please help me understand I feel like we are way too different and that's going to cause a huge problem and I also feel like I will sacrifice my feeling for him but that's not who I am and that feels fake to me

You dont have to stop having feelings
Just have fun with him. Not everything has to be about feelings and acting like a couple. One of my faborite ways to develope feelings for someone is to fuck em for a few months, release some passion tension, see em at his worst his best...keep collecting reasons why I like him til it builds up and I wanna n keep that feeling for the rest bof my life. So all you gots to do is fuck him..cuddle him...do what ever it is you guys do. Hes got you under a scope just be yourself. Pretend hes a guy bestfriend dont make him feel like hes obligated to anything. Especially your feelings. Anyone that thinks i should be responsible for their feelings will only get to watch me leave.

click to expand

sounds more pre-meditated. No spontaniety.

O_O that's not exactly going with the flow. When you go with the flow, there is no time for thinking this is gonna happen this is that....ugh. It's scary to be in that kind of relationship. Gross.

if you are have to THINK all the freaking time in a relationship, it's BUSINESS. jesus. *smh*

it's not even a love relationship, it's ....a business transaction.

can i get some ice?

😆 😄 😆



because geeezzzzz.....everything has to be caustiously PRE- meditated.

pre-planned. Like planned parenthood. Sure you plan cautiously and good for pregnancy and what to do.

love relationships, you can NOT rely on that shit. it just shows deep insecurity that you might LOSE your man or woman.

Cancer,

What everyone above especially the ones who are in a relationship with an aqua male is that they don't show love the same ways most of society expects. Normal behaviors of anyone is verbal cues, romantic hollywoody stuff etc.

Aqua males show through subtle, action oriented stuff. By fixing, doing, helping, and most of all being "THERE". WHich is the most proof of all becuase as easily distracted as they can get...the fact that they can be consistent or physically there is a feat in itself.

Question is if you can't handle the way they show care, then you are dating the wrong guy my friend.