My Cancer/Pisces game plan on Aqua, opinion?

SORRY FOR THE LONG POST but wanted it to be very detailed for you to understand.
The Scenario;
Everything was fastly paced, meeting over breakfast on valentines day and had our first kiss, surprised me with flowers and was completely swept me off my feet. Sight shift of aura on Sunday, he shared his current dilemma with me, about his brother disappearing with the $ 40k he had let him borrowed so he couldn't close a deal with a client ashe was a few thousand short. I felt for how devastated he was so I went ot of my way to help generate that money. After his 'Valentine' romantic surprise it instantly solidified in me that it's "we" from now on. I honestly thought he was the one just after a day (yes very crazy).
So fast forward I came up with the money, like wonderwoman and I even drove to see him him on Monday (1hour drive). I also prepared 9 freezer meals (1 is good for a whole day), so I know he's well fed and taken care of...it was diabetes-friendly too as I know he has the insulin-dependent type and probably still devastates him as he only found out 10 months ago.
Met him and gave him the good news (money he needed which was $ 2k) plus the food and he couldn't feel anymore blessed (was so verbally thankful), even took me to a secret sanctuary of where him and his dad used to fish , spoke about "our" future, was amazed and touched by how I've stayed though I met him at his lowest, and how right he feels being with me, it was a good 20 mins of D&M, he slept over mine 2 days later and butter happened.
Now he seems detached, texts are brief, still asks about my day but he's blunt and cold. I know that hes been working irregular hours since Mr. Aqua man told me to be patient with him as it may take him some time to get back up as he feels ruined after the incident + the financial stress. He also told me that the next months will be very busy but assured me he'll pay back in 2 weeks, I said no pressure do what you gotta do. After the sleepover he's been MIA a lot and isn't sweet like when we first spoke (it's only been over a week). Last night he sent me a few mms while at a work site w/ his workers around 11pm (irregular work hours). My pisces moon made me doubt him a a lot but his reply was reassuring. My Cancer rising makes me often overly emotional with his sudden detachment from being a hopelessly romantic. Thankfully, my Aries sun conceals all of those emotions so I also get to appear just as detached as he is.

My Gameplan;
Remain appearing rese

My Gameplan;
Remain appearing reserved & detached as I feel the same energy from him, if he detaches further,eg. No txt or call within 2-3 days, then he has definitely failed to meet my emotional stability needs. Another 2 weeks of no speaking & I will shoot a msg regarding the money he owes. If he still doesn't reply & it has been a week since my text reminder then I'll proceed with a txt saying " I'm very disappointed at the cost you would sacrfice your dignity for...Sorry to seem judgemental of your morals & Values but I feel really sad to accept tat this is how it's going to be over that amount of money. I would've done so much for you, more than the little value of what you borrowed...I'm not mad nor angry, hope ur happy w/ the decisions you've made...take care of urself ok.
SOOO BASICALLY kill him w/ kindness! It's also how I realy feel anyways. Though I'm oevrly compassionate & emotional I know what I deserve,

How do you think he'll react?

My prediction is he'll justify why he hasn't msgd & retaliate but i'll simply reply "You could've at least msgd so I'm not left wondering abt anything at all but u didnt, I understand. You know I dnt ask for a lot of emotional secutity but it cnt be this way either. If you consider this normal then we r on diff chapters of the book.This isnt gonna make me feel happy , i'm sorry and I dont wana be questioning u as an effect of my insecurity, its not fair for the both of us"

Mr. Aqua will either let me go or try. My desired response is for him to try. Open his feelings & get in his head by being able to walk away w/ no hard feelings after how badly he made me feel. Give it a few days & his guilt will consume him anyway.
Stay kind & compassionate.

Is this effective?
I'm doing it anyway...but let me know what your opinions are... Yes I have over thought this, over analyzed & over planned it but it's in my nature, bare with me.

additional info;
He's 27, have a business in commercial trade and I've known him through a friend who is a farm contractor...because he sold his farm to my friend.
-Last relationship was 2 yrs ago / lost his baby with her from a car accident 2 yrs ago as well. She left without a word 2 weeks after their kid's death and she took every financial value there was in him so he has been through a lot
-First meeting at Valentines and I had the speechless effect & butterfly effect on him cos he was very much of a smitten kitten & in person as well, he surprised me with my fav flowers on that valentines breakfast. (I'm a sucker I know)
-I perceive him as honest, I'm the wallpaper of his phone I saw it flash when there was an incoming phone call, showed me his conversation w/ his brother,
even ask whether I like residing on the beach side or country side...he wasn't always this aloof, cold & detached. I don't understand. He's too comfortable? I don't like it anyway so reason being of my plan

Not really a strategic plan it is more of a plan on how I'm going about with the situation in the best way. I don't cling to him at all but deep inside I am very affected by his actions...I wish I didn't but can't seem to help it

Plan with an Aquarian to test sounds dangerous to me for the relationship to remain in good health. My advice, don't even think that way.

An aqua agreed to borrow money from you on a first date?

what the actual fuck.

Maybe it's my capricorn merc here or something other absurd placements or just aqua pride in general I would NEVER borrow that amount from anyone, ever.

Someone's probably gong to verbally berate me on this but I find pisces moons generally falls short coupled with Aries sun in particular but hey you still have the 'senses' moon. It's served me well in the past so maybe your gut feelings onto something.

You want constant reassurance by the sounds of things and he's someone meeting the demand. What's it's cancers/mars btw. or just his chart.

Still... I've not met an aqua that has great pride issues when it comes to 'money'.

oops should read what I write sometimes. His chart

Anyway, your plan failed when you loaned him the money with no sort of written contract. I'm an Aqua/Pisces sun moon combo by the way even for a very close friend or family, anything amounting equal to or over $ 1000 I will draft one. Call me cold but family/friends and money don't mix.

No need to plan anything, where's that aries bluntness and just tell it to his face he's being a cunt.

Posted by aquasnoz
oops should read what I write sometimes. His chart

Anyway, your plan failed when you loaned him the money with no sort of written contract. I'm an Aqua/Pisces sun moon combo by the way even for a very close friend or family, anything amounting equal to or over $ 1000 I will draft one. Call me cold but family/friends and money don't mix.

No need to plan anything, where's that aries bluntness and just tell it to his face he's being a cunt.

+10000. I have yet to meet an aqua like this as well. But what I'm more shocked at is the buying of love!!! Who freaking gives money or that amount of money on a first date to a guy that you practically don't know. That's like giving a beautiful stranger some money because you have the hots for him.

You're ...so dumb and naive.

You loaned him 2k after the first date and came over to play mommy to him? WHO does this? I get that Aries loves doing stuff like this, but on the FIRST date? Wtf is up with that?

You said he stayed the night. Did you two have sex?

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Basically this woman doesn't get that she's been played to the tune of $ 40k and still thinks she has a chance with this aqua guy.

Who lends someone $ 40k on the first date anyway? That's crazy talk.

2k. Not 40.

Yeah guys, take me for a fool, for me it isn't the money but the person he turns out to be over it. I know money is money but it is not my greatest concern, it's just that he's still in my life but is rather blunt...I'm a sucker for sob stories and sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish sincerity to manipulation, if he turns out to be a con artist then I may have lost $ 2k but he's lost his self-integrity and dignity for it, cause I'll surely be sharing this bad experience with mutual friends and family.

At the moment, he initiates the texts but they're not profoundly sweet like they used to (he works a lot so this demeanor puzzles me)
I remain pleasant with my replies although brief, and wants to see me this weekend so I can meet his family which are his workers (his parents are divorced)
It's a bad idea to meet them isn't it? I don't wanna take an impulsive plunge again.

Sorry if my being frustrates you all

There are so many things wrong with this situationship.

1. No man in his right mind who is truly interested in you would accept $ 2k from a chick he barely knows. Even if his sad story didn't have "SCAM" written all over it, I'd still conclude that sometimes a man's pride & ego work for him as opposed to against him. And if there were ever a time when his pride should've stopped him, it was when he had the audacity to stick his hand out & take the money when you offered it to him.

2. He has no business dating or entertaining anyone if his financial life is in such ruins that he can't even be consistent, dependable & communicative. We all have stress in our personal lives, but the fact that he couldn't even just enjoy the date & focus on the positive aspects of life speaks volumes. The fact that he was just oozing with negative energy & sob stories on the 1st date says "I'm just looking for sympathy, a listening ear & help" out loud! This should bother you. Why? B/c I'm sure you want a man who entertains you b/c he likes you, can't wait to prove himself to you & can't wait to give you as much as he receives.

3. You've already played your cards wrong. You barely know this guy but yet you're already his therapist, ATM card, & what they call an 'option' instead of a priority. There really is no way to reverse that.

4. Him taking money from you didn't mean that suddenly he was responsible for your emotions or indebted to you emotionally. He's not your man until he makes it official. And if he hasn't made it official, then you're in for a lonnnnng road of confusion, rejection & disappointment by having expectations that you have no right having. He doesn't owe you his heart just b/c you gave him money. Stop acting like he's a tenant who signed a lease all b/c you offered him convenience in some way.

5. The 1st paragraph of your post told me all I needed to know. I knew that by the time I got to the end of the post that you'd most likely feel confused, disappointed, slighted & in the mood for mind games and manipulation to get ahead with this guy. And what do ya know, it turns out that you indeed found yourself in a mess...I could've told you that. This situation was doomed to fail from the beginning.

6. His intentions may not have been to use you when he 1st laid eyes on you, but once you started giving waaaaaay more than you were receiving, you F'd up, gave him the upper hand & stopped being a challenge. You WANT to believe that he really thinks of you as this saving grace ride or die who he oughta appreciate & ride off into the sunset with, but that is NOT how he feels about you. How do I know that? B/c he's ignoring you, not being consistent, not giving you his best & leaves you hanging. I'd be willing to bet you $ 1 million that he doesn't respect you. And that's your fault.

7. Stop making excuses for him. Look around. When a man really really wants a woman, he'll do what it takes to get & keep her. This guy doesn't like you enough. He is all yours when he can get validation & a therapy ear from you, but the minute you've served him well, his true feelings about you come out, which is why he suddenly & without warning backs off, gets distant & gets short when he talks to you.

No it's not b/c he's super busy. No it's not b/c his financial situation has crippled his fingers from being able to text or call you like he was before. He's giving you the minimum b/c he's NOT THAT INTO YOU. He may be a great guy overall, but none of that matters if he's not that into you. It doesn't matter if he keeps on giving you the minimum. He is NOT emotionally available.

8. You probably had impulse issues long before him. You've probably had validation problems long before him. For some reason, it seems that you go out of your way for this man, not b/c you do it with no expectations in return, but b/c you need a man to verbally, emotionally & physically show you that you are worth something...that you're loyal...that you're caring...these are all things you could've proven about yourself without giving him money & w/o over-doing it.

He's a man before he's anything else. He has every reason to believe that you going all out for him so soon means that you've probably done so for other men in the past. He knows you're naive just like you know this about yourself. And he will use that to his own advantage as long as you purposely put on the blinders & make excuses for him, in the name of not wanting to admit to yourself that once AGAIN, you played your cards wrong & gave too much.

He's in it for himself. He took your money. And after he did that, all of the romance, and sweet nothings he used to whisper in your ear, stopped. Figures!

If that's not enough for you to run like hell, then you really really really need to step out of the dating arena, work on your self-esteem & spend your time analyzing & figuring out yourself instead of trying to dissect everybody else's brain.

Thanks, I needed the reality slap, I stupidlyI choose the wrong ones, or the overly sweet but inconsistent.
I don't even think it's feelings for him but the idea of an emotionally secure/loving/stable relationship that I'm smitten with.
I knew it was all coming as well, yet I still tolerate it and continue to give the benefit of the doubt because I wanna believe that people can be different and I overthink that if I didn't think this way then I'm just another me-me-all-about-me Aries.

Thank you for taking the time to write all that, your efforts of trying to make me understand though I don't know you have made me very teary.
Thank you kindly!
Xx

Posted by littlearies
Yeah guys, take me for a fool, for me it isn't the money but the person he turns out to be over it. I know money is money but it is not my greatest concern, it's just that he's still in my life but is rather blunt...I'm a sucker for sob stories and sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish sincerity to manipulation, if he turns out to be a con artist then I may have lost $ 2k but he's lost his self-integrity and dignity for it, cause I'll surely be sharing this bad experience with mutual friends and family.

At the moment, he initiates the texts but they're not profoundly sweet like they used to (he works a lot so this demeanor puzzles me)
I remain pleasant with my replies although brief, and wants to see me this weekend so I can meet his family which are his workers (his parents are divorced)
It's a bad idea to meet them isn't it? I don't wanna take an impulsive plunge again.

Sorry if my being frustrates you all

But did you fuck him? That's something you've yet to answer.

Also, lol if you think he's going to lose any self whatever. Con artists don't give a shit. You're really naive, m'dear.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by littlearies
Yeah guys, take me for a fool, for me it isn't the money but the person he turns out to be over it. I know money is money but it is not my greatest concern, it's just that he's still in my life but is rather blunt...I'm a sucker for sob stories and sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish sincerity to manipulation, if he turns out to be a con artist then I may have lost $ 2k but he's lost his self-integrity and dignity for it, cause I'll surely be sharing this bad experience with mutual friends and family.

At the moment, he initiates the texts but they're not profoundly sweet like they used to (he works a lot so this demeanor puzzles me)
I remain pleasant with my replies although brief, and wants to see me this weekend so I can meet his family which are his workers (his parents are divorced)
It's a bad idea to meet them isn't it? I don't wanna take an impulsive plunge again.

Sorry if my being frustrates you all

But did you fuck him? That's something you've yet to answer.

click to expand

No I've never fucked him, he came over probably thinking he could get it but I didn't give it and I think that's the only reason he's still talking to me because although he's aloof and detached he would still shoot short msgs with 1 word answers, and I just reply a 1 word answer too.
I don't just fuck anyone I feel I have a potential with, that shit is too sacred it's where my heart is found too! Gotta guard it
Yes Rockyroad I am too naive...I know as well that when I give, I give everything even when I have nothing to give, it's a curse. Like today at the hospital I was called in early so I rushed and forgot my wallet, only had $ 5 to last me the entire 12 hr shift. 7 hours later I finally get a break, bought my food & coffee but saw a homeless dad with his kid and so I gave my food & coffee to them. I was very hungry but I know i'll have more food later - whether they were grateful for what I did or not, I won't feel so bad knowing I've done something to help.
Same situation with this guy I guess, I'll just let life take care of him, we all get what we deserve.

I guess I deserve this cause I'm toooooo stupid ; p

Nah, I was just wondering because guys act like this after getting some easily.

Regardless, move along. He's not worth the time/effort/games.

And yes, you are "too stupid." I'm an Aries too and I learned real quick that this mentality, the same one you're using, needs to be reserved for those who need it. You can't just do it for anyone you meet because there are a LOT of users out there who will fuck you over and take advantage of that.

So save the sob story about how you feel squishy inside for doing nice things. Nobody has an issue with that. It's how quickly you did it for someone who did nothing to prove that they deserved it other than he was gracing you with his presence on the first date.

Really, who the hell talks about their financial woes on the first date? THAT alone is a red flag. There are things you just don't talk about on the first date and that's one of them.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Nah, I was just wondering because guys act like this after getting some easily.

Regardless, move along. He's not worth the time/effort/games.

And yes, you are "too stupid." I'm an Aries too and I learned real quick that this mentality, the same one you're using, needs to be reserved for those who need it. You can't just do it for anyone you meet because there are a LOT of users out there who will fuck you over and take advantage of that.

So save the sob story about how you feel squishy inside for doing nice things. Nobody has an issue with that. It's how quickly you did it for someone who did nothing to prove that they deserved it other than he was gracing you with his presence on the first date.

Really, who the hell talks about their financial woes on the first date? THAT alone is a red flag. There are things you just don't talk about on the first date and that's one of them.

Update: He came to see me today with the money he borrowed. Apologised and thanked me but I had to call him out for his shit because it's not like a guy has never shown interest in me before of course I know he's hesitant with it all, he called it 'seeing' each other and I called it quits, not even friends so I've cut him out completely and blocked his number. Now he's trying to reach me through my friend's phone but it's too late.

Posted by aquasnoz
An aqua agreed to borrow money from you on a first date?

.

Exactly!! Red flag.

Run, girl run.

I think you jumped into the girlfriend role without gaining the title.

I just want to take you under my wing and protect you, for some reason. So, here's some helpful advice for the future:

1. Make men earn the right to date you. Don't give anything until they prove worthy of receiving it.

2. How to decide is a man is worthy - he does what he says he will do, he is consistent, he doesn't make you wonder, he is reliable, he makes sure you know he likes you instead of what you have to offer, and so many more things.

3. Consistency - if a man is not consisent, walk away. And sometimes there is consistency in inconsistency (I know that's confusing, but a more spontaneous man will not appear consistent until you know them for some time - like with an aqua who comes on strong, backs off, doesn't contact, comes on strong again - rinse and repeat - there becomes consistency in that).

4. First date red flags - A sob story, they talk about their ex, they don't offer to pay, they don't try to come up with things you like, they monopolize the conversation so its all about them, they check out other women when they're with you, don't take you out at all, don't go out in public....

5. The man should be giving more than the woman. It makes a man happy to give to you. You shouldn't be giving to him as much. Most women try to hard in this area to "prove" they'd be a great girlfriend. It's not the way to get girlfriend status. Men give girlfriend status to women that they feel good to be around and what makes a man feel good around a woman? She appreciates him and respects him. That's it. That's all you need to do.

6. Believe everything a man says. If he says he's bad, he is. If he says he isn't ready for a relationship, he's not.

7. Don't believe everything a man says either - if he says he loves you after a week, he doesn't. If he says his ex was psycho, well there's a reason she was psycho (probably him lol!).

Anyway, there are so many more tips I could give you, but this will get you started. Do some google searches on what a good man is and how to recognize one.

And, alas, there's always the experience factor. when you experience enough bad men, you'll be able to recognize the good ones all by yourself.

Good luck girl! You'll learn not to be so naive, just don't get bitter and discouraged.

You remind me of my daughter. She's naive, too, and very gullible. Maybe that's why I took the time to write all that.

🙂

i dont know..
it seems she knows what she's doing. kind of sneaky.

kind of like she wanted to see what type of man he was. and money wasnt a concern to her, especially if she is from a wealthy background.

although, it is rather extreme. taking advantage of a man like that, because he is in need. that is also not nice.

i mean why bother??

Posted by littlearies

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Nah, I was just wondering because guys act like this after getting some easily.

Regardless, move along. He's not worth the time/effort/games.

And yes, you are "too stupid." I'm an Aries too and I learned real quick that this mentality, the same one you're using, needs to be reserved for those who need it. You can't just do it for anyone you meet because there are a LOT of users out there who will fuck you over and take advantage of that.

So save the sob story about how you feel squishy inside for doing nice things. Nobody has an issue with that. It's how quickly you did it for someone who did nothing to prove that they deserved it other than he was gracing you with his presence on the first date.

Really, who the hell talks about their financial woes on the first date? THAT alone is a red flag. There are things you just don't talk about on the first date and that's one of them.

Update: He came to see me today with the money he borrowed. Apologised and thanked me but I had to call him out for his shit because it's not like a guy has never shown interest in me before of course I know he's hesitant with it all, he called it 'seeing' each other and I called it quits, not even friends so I've cut him out completely and blocked his number. Now he's trying to reach me through my friend's phone but it's too late.

click to expand

well that's nice he gave it back. 🙂

and also apologized.

and also, coming to a messageboard to announce: my game plan. lol

😆

Young and dumb. Don't put Cancer and the Pisces moon into that. Own up to being an Aries sun, you thought all that out. So deceiving. Did I say dumb? You basically paid 2k for a Valentine's Date. Guess better than being alone... Shouldn't have to be a "game plan" on winning a man either. He either wants you or he don't, he'll play along until he's done getting what he wants.

Posted by prettyladii
Young and dumb. Don't put Cancer and the Pisces moon into that. Own up to being an Aries sun, you thought all that out. So deceiving. Did I say dumb? You basically paid 2k for a Valentine's Date. Guess better than being alone... Shouldn't have to be a "game plan" on winning a man either. He either wants you or he don't, he'll play along until he's done getting what he wants.

The valentines date was perfect, we didn't speak about any of his current financial struggles. He paid. Everything was a surprise, I came out to breakfast at this botanical garden restaurant thinking I was gonna see my friend (the friend I he met me through), and he's been asking her to get me out on Valentine's, asked what I liked to eat, flowers, chocolates etc, so my friend agreed as it sounded like a sweet plan. Of course I was really swept off my feet..I mean he had dreamy eyes and a charming personality too...he's actually shy person.
The money issue came up when he's been upset all day (2 days after the date which was Sunday) and I finally got it out of him because he didn't wanna lie to me. He didn't pour it in purpose, and I wanted to make him feel better cos I got affected as well and I had the money to help him so I gave it. I know I shouldnt have.

I got the money back and now he's back to being pushy, and nagging getting me to come out and see him, calling me, I just don't get it. Maybe he was ashamed to talk to me until he had the money, anyway... I've already called him out for it and got my money back. I'll just leave it at non-speaking terms I can't bare with the inconsistency anyway.

prettyladii I hope you reallly are a pretty lady because you have a pretty ugly attitude

Posted by truecap
I think you jumped into the girlfriend role without gaining the title.

I just want to take you under my wing and protect you, for some reason. So, here's some helpful advice for the future:

1. Make men earn the right to date you. Don't give anything until they prove worthy of receiving it.

2. How to decide is a man is worthy - he does what he says he will do, he is consistent, he doesn't make you wonder, he is reliable, he makes sure you know he likes you instead of what you have to offer, and so many more things.

3. Consistency - if a man is not consisent, walk away. And sometimes there is consistency in inconsistency (I know that's confusing, but a more spontaneous man will not appear consistent until you know them for some time - like with an aqua who comes on strong, backs off, doesn't contact, comes on strong again - rinse and repeat - there becomes consistency in that).

4. First date red flags - A sob story, they talk about their ex, they don't offer to pay, they don't try to come up with things you like, they monopolize the conversation so its all about them, they check out other women when they're with you, don't take you out at all, don't go out in public....

5. The man should be giving more than the woman. It makes a man happy to give to you. You shouldn't be giving to him as much. Most women try to hard in this area to "prove" they'd be a great girlfriend. It's not the way to get girlfriend status. Men give girlfriend status to women that they feel good to be around and what makes a man feel good around a woman? She appreciates him and respects him. That's it. That's all you need to do.

6. Believe everything a man says. If he says he's bad, he is. If he says he isn't ready for a relationship, he's not.

7. Don't believe everything a man says either - if he says he loves you after a week, he doesn't. If he says his ex was psycho, well there's a reason she was psycho (probably him lol!).

Anyway, there are so many more tips I could give you, but this will get you started. Do some google searches on what a good man is and how to recognize one.

And, alas, there's always the experience factor. when you experience enough bad men, you'll be able to recognize the good ones all by yourself.

Good luck girl! You'll learn not to be so naive, just don't get bitter and discouraged.

THANK YOU TRUECAP, you are

amazing for taking the time write all of that though you don't know me...what you wrote made me teary. I wish I had a mother to tell me that, but I grew up without the parents ever being around because of always being away for constant business matters.
I'm open to my friends only to a certain extent so I guess it would've really helped me a lot to have a mother who guided me throughout relationships and what not.
I generated a 'game plan' already knowing I'm not gonna work out with him but rather if it's the best way to cope with it emotionally...but you are right. I shouldn't even be in a position where I have to cope with the stress, he shouldn't even be in my system at all that I'm trying to cope with instead keep my guards from the outside to inside and not vice versa. I guess I just really wanted to know the reasoning behind his cold actions because I know for a fact he isn't a scam artist.

But now it doesn't matter cause I've cut him off completely, if that was his way of coping under stress or for whatever reason it's a behaviour that left me feeling disappointed and fooled.

Thank you again for the advice!

Posted by lisabethur8
and also, coming to a messageboard to announce: my game plan. lol

😆

I'm sorry I had to vent I'm a big astrology believer, not that I'm going to base my decisions upon it but rather a general guide...and I needed an emotional outlet and he happened to be an Aqua, not generalising the Aqua's though, Thank you for taking the time to read!
He gave the money back and begged me for forgiveness he said he was ashamed to have borrowed money as he is a businessman himself and for him to be in that situation has left him feeling low and worthless and wanted to work flat out so he could generate the money back and give it back to me ASAP..he gave me more than he borrowed but I only took what the exact amount was. People are so confusing, I was just cold and detached, drove home and slept it off... I feel better 🙂 blocked him completely but he's using my friend to get to me...too late

Posted by littlearies

Posted by lisabethur8
and also, coming to a messageboard to announce: my game plan. lol

😆

I'm sorry I had to vent I'm a big astrology believer, not that I'm going to base my decisions upon it but rather a general guide...and I needed an emotional outlet and he happened to be an Aqua, not generalising the Aqua's though, Thank you for taking the time to read!
He gave the money back and begged me for forgiveness he said he was ashamed to have borrowed money as he is a businessman himself and for him to be in that situation has left him feeling low and worthless and wanted to work flat out so he could generate the money back and give it back to me ASAP..he gave me more than he borrowed but I only took what the exact amount was. People are so confusing, I was just cold and detached, drove home and slept it off... I feel better 🙂 blocked him completely but he's using my friend to get to me...too late

click to expand

he gave you more than what borrowed. wow. that's really nice. that means he is a very very GOOD businessman. he accrued more interest and you trusted his "business sense".

you are actually a smart girl.

now you are getting him to "chase" you.

Oh you smartie. 😆 😆

Posted by lisabethur8
now you are getting him to "chase" you.

Oh you smartie. 😆 😆

Thank you Lisa for seeing it that way 🙂 Athough I wanted to genuinely help it was also a little investment so I could leave that strong effect on him...that exact response from him too, if I hadn't over-analyze then I may have gotten his interest but not to this intensity...and perhaps not as long-lasting. Doing that perhaps made him realize that I was going to pull-through with him during his lowest of times (which I honestly would) and I was the only one who helped him and cared for him too (prepared microwaveable freezer meals).
I guess the impression I left him with is something that will stay with him for a long time, when he completely gets back up and look back to how far he's gone from that extremely-low moment of his life.

I've walked away though for self-preservation lol can't always be doing that I also have my own work matters to take care of...I really didn't mean for this to sound like a behavioral/psychological study, my parents weren't so in-tune with emotions being business-minded people, conflicts were always weighed out and resolved with a step-by-step plan to garner the best kind of result.

Have a great day 🙂

Posted by littlearies

Posted by lisabethur8
now you are getting him to "chase" you.

Oh you smartie. 😆 😆

Thank you Lisa for seeing it that way 🙂 Athough I wanted to genuinely help it was also a little investment so I could leave that strong effect on him...that exact response from him too, if I hadn't over-analyze then I may have gotten his interest but not to this intensity...and perhaps not as long-lasting. Doing that perhaps made him realize that I was going to pull-through with him during his lowest of times (which I honestly would) and I was the only one who helped him and cared for him too (prepared microwaveable freezer meals).
I guess the impression I left him with is something that will stay with him for a long time, when he completely gets back up and look back to how far he's gone from that extremely-low moment of his life.

I've walked away though for self-preservation lol can't always be doing that I also have my own work matters to take care of...I really didn't mean for this to sound like a behavioral/psychological study, my parents weren't so in-tune with emotions being business-minded people, conflicts were always weighed out and resolved with a step-by-step plan to garner the best kind of result.

Have a great day 🙂

click to expand

i can't believe you're so EASILY persuaded from all the other comments of these women telling you he's bad and all that. If you love him, nothing on this earth can persuade you no matter what others say. I dont care what your game plan says, but it seems like you're just wishy washy about him and if that's the case. then move on. you too have a good day.

Posted by littlearies
amazing for taking the time write all of that though you don't know me...what you wrote made me teary. I wish I had a mother to tell me that, but I grew up without the parents ever being around because of always being away for constant business matters.
I'm open to my friends only to a certain extent so I guess it would've really helped me a lot to have a mother who guided me throughout relationships and what not.
I generated a 'game plan' already knowing I'm not gonna work out with him but rather if it's the best way to cope with it emotionally...but you are right. I shouldn't even be in a position where I have to cope with the stress, he shouldn't even be in my system at all that I'm trying to cope with instead keep my guards from the outside to inside and not vice versa. I guess I just really wanted to know the reasoning behind his cold actions because I know for a fact he isn't a scam artist.

But now it doesn't matter cause I've cut him off completely, if that was his way of coping under stress or for whatever reason it's a behaviour that left me feeling disappointed and fooled.

Thank you again for the advice!

You are welcome. Sometimes my "mom" side comes out on here. My daughter doesn't like my opinions, she thinks that I have no idea what times are like now (I did the same with my mom). I'm sure she's listened, but she'll never let me know if she did, lol! (we're both cap and stubborn) You'd probably feel the same way if your mom did the same.

When you don't know better, you can't expect yourself to do better.

But once you know better, you've gotta stop being the victim and making excuses for yourself. You're naive but you're also a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for.

There's nothing wrong with being the typical woman who is in love with the concept of love & can't wait to give her heart to a king...wishful thinking & giving others the benefit of the doubt in some ways is necessary nowadays when looking for love, especially since there are so many folks who can easily turn you off completely to the concept of love and marriage lol

But you can't emotionally, financially or physically afford to live your life through wishful thinking. Come back down to earth honey. Any time you lose more than you gain, that's your signals that you're using the wrong strategy to get what you want. And if the strategy doesn't work, you can't defend it or play yourself by continuing to use it.

Dump him. Of course he's gonna keep some form of contact. You gave him $ 2k. To a man who feels that a woman is vulnerable, naive & weak, his best strategy is to give her the minimum but also do just enough so that he can easily get money, sex or emotional validation from her on the occasion that he remembers she exists. You're human gold to a man like him.

Being human gold to all men isn't a good thing. You need to be human gold to a man who's actually really into you...to the men who won't use you even if you damn near put them in a situation to do so. You will continue to end up in these 'messes' with men unless you quit being the victim of your past & straighten up, girl!

Now you can't say that you don't know better. You do. So do better. You don't have to be the girl who always learns the hard way, ya know lol You can change that. You're not powerless with yourself. If respect & love from others is really what you crave then play your cards right...and honey giving waaaaaay more than you're receiving is the absolute WRONG move, not only in love but in life too.

If you're gonna act like vulnerable prey, expect to get eaten. And yes, wolfs come in sheep's clothing. And yes some men will do it with no shame. This guy is a wolf. You know this, so get your shit together lol!

Posted by littlearies
I'm sorry I had to vent I'm a big astrology believer, not that I'm going to base my decisions upon it but rather a general guide...and I needed an emotional outlet and he happened to be an Aqua, not generalising the Aqua's though, Thank you for taking the time to read!
He gave the money back and begged me for forgiveness he said he was ashamed to have borrowed money as he is a businessman himself and for him to be in that situation has left him feeling low and worthless and wanted to work flat out so he could generate the money back and give it back to me ASAP..he gave me more than he borrowed but I only took what the exact amount was. People are so confusing, I was just cold and detached, drove home and slept it off... I feel better 🙂 blocked him completely but he's using my friend to get to me...too late

It's always funny how quickly they backpedal and scramble after you've proven that you won't tolerate such bullshit. They always scramble for that second chance when you show you mean business.

Now he's playing the pity card and wants you to take him back by feeling sorry for him because *gasp* he was "feeling low and worthless." el oh el.

Aries ice is an amazing thing when it goes into full effect.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by littlearies

Posted by lisabethur8
now you are getting him to "chase" you.

Oh you smartie. 😆 😆

Thank you Lisa for seeing it that way 🙂 Athough I wanted to genuinely help it was also a little investment so I could leave that strong effect on him...that exact response from him too, if I hadn't over-analyze then I may have gotten his interest but not to this intensity...and perhaps not as long-lasting. Doing that perhaps made him realize that I was going to pull-through with him during his lowest of times (which I honestly would) and I was the only one who helped him and cared for him too (prepared microwaveable freezer meals).
I guess the impression I left him with is something that will stay with him for a long time, when he completely gets back up and look back to how far he's gone from that extremely-low moment of his life.

I've walked away though for self-preservation lol can't always be doing that I also have my own work matters to take care of...I really didn't mean for this to sound like a behavioral/psychological study, my parents weren't so in-tune with emotions being business-minded people, conflicts were always weighed out and resolved with a step-by-step plan to garner the best kind of result.

Have a great day 🙂

i can't believe you're so EASILY persuaded from all the other comments of these women telling you he's bad and all that. If you love him, nothing on this earth can persuade you no matter what others say. I dont care what your game plan says, but it seems like you're just wishy washy about him and if that's the case. then move on. you too have a good day.

click to expand

Where the hell did she say that she loved him?

aquarius r so f* $ &% ^ up.they attract everyone even tho they should b in psychotherapy

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by littlearies

Posted by lisabethur8
now you are getting him to "chase" you.

Oh you smartie. 😆 😆

Thank you Lisa for seeing it that way 🙂 Athough I wanted to genuinely help it was also a little investment so I could leave that strong effect on him...that exact response from him too, if I hadn't over-analyze then I may have gotten his interest but not to this intensity...and perhaps not as long-lasting. Doing that perhaps made him realize that I was going to pull-through with him during his lowest of times (which I honestly would) and I was the only one who helped him and cared for him too (prepared microwaveable freezer meals).
I guess the impression I left him with is something that will stay with him for a long time, when he completely gets back up and look back to how far he's gone from that extremely-low moment of his life.

I've walked away though for self-preservation lol can't always be doing that I also have my own work matters to take care of...I really didn't mean for this to sound like a behavioral/psychological study, my parents weren't so in-tune with emotions being business-minded people, conflicts were always weighed out and resolved with a step-by-step plan to garner the best kind of result.

Have a great day 🙂

i can't believe you're so EASILY persuaded from all the other comments of these women telling you he's bad and all that. If you love him, nothing on this earth can persuade you no matter what others say. I dont care what your game plan says, but it seems like you're just wishy washy about him and if that's the case. then move on. you too have a good day.

Where the hell did she say that she loved him?

click to expand

if you read, i wrote, "IF"

so it's a scenerio, if she did really love him deep down (don't know. she could be just hiding it deep down and really love this guy and that's why she's doing all this)

That has nothing to do with the scenario. You're just saying some dumb, random shit again.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
That has nothing to do with the scenario. You're just saying some dumb, random shit again.

? what? i meant what i said.

you asked so i showed you.

she just backed out from the Original posting, of her game plan, and then everyone starts harking on her that this guy is bad.

if she really did want him, she would tell you all to fuck off. game plan or no game plan.

but she was already having "doubts" which is why she's asking and posting this.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by rockyroadicecream
That has nothing to do with the scenario. You're just saying some dumb, random shit again.

? what? i meant what i said.

you asked so i showed you.

she just backed out from the Original posting, of her game plan, and then everyone starts harking on her that this guy is bad.

if she really did want him, she would tell you all to fuck off. game plan or no game plan.

but she was already having "doubts" which is why she's asking and posting this.

click to expand

You're too kind Lisa, I don't always have it all figured out I admit I felt really helpless so I took the time to write all that and overthought the whole thing,
just an update that

He's been trying ever since the day he apologised and 2 days ago he's gone mad and asked me to get married and showed me a house that I may like? building castles in the air again? I said no of course but agreed to becoming friends again at least. So he turns out more impulsive than me...I will take my time with things this time 🙂 ... I'm not up to that level that's for sure

Posted by staelz
aquarius r so f* $ &% ^ up.they attract everyone even tho they should b in psychotherapy

LMAO!! +10000000000000