OT: The Matthew Shepard Story

Did anybody else happen to catch the Matthew Shepard story? I am at a loss for words with how disgusted I feel for how much hatred and evil still exists today. How can people be so cruel to other human beings?

I missed it, what is it about?

Well let me tell you a little bit about Matthew Shepard and his life. I received this information from: http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Stonewall/2878/index.html

Funeral for gay hate-crime victim brutally murdered.
Friday October 16, 1998

The funeral has taken place in the United States of Matthew Shepard, a 21 year-old student, who was savagely beaten to death because he was gay. Friends and family gathered in pouring rain at the church in the town of Casper, Wyoming, where he was baptised.

Matthew had been lured from a campus bar shortly after midnight on October 7 by two men who told him they were gay. He was driven to a remote area near the Sherman Hills neighbourhood east of Laramie, tied to a split-rail fence, tortured, beaten and pistol-whipped by his attackers, while he begged for his life; he was then left for dead in near freezing temperatures. A cyclist who found him on Snowy Mountain View Road at 6:22 pm, some 18 hours after the attack, at first mistook him for a scarecrow. He was unconscious and suffering from hypothermia. His face was caked with blood, except where it had been partially washed clean by tears.

Matthew died at 12:53 am on Monday 12th October 1998, at Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado, with his family at his bedside. Hospital officials said Matthew had a fracture from behind his head to just in front of his right ear and a massive brain stem injury which affected his vital signs, including his heart beat, body temperature and other involuntary functions. There were also approximately a dozen small lacerations around his head, face and neck. He was so badly injured in the attack that doctors were unable to operate. He never regained consciousness after being found, and remained on full life support.

While Matthew lay dying in hospital, just a few miles away, a group of students from Colorado State University thought it would be funny to ride atop a homecoming float that featured a scarecrow figure designed to resemble Matthew's battered body. The figure was wearing a sign that said "I'm gay." An obscene message was painted across the back of the scarecrow's shirt. The students didn't mean to be insensitive. It was supposed to be a joke. They were just ordinary, average guys, having a bit of fun.

Matthew was born Dec. 1, 1976, in Casper, and was the oldest son of Judy Peck Shepard and Dennis Shepard. While living in Casper, he attended Crest Hill Grade School, Dean Morgan Junior High, and completed his sophomore year in Natrona County High School. He was a member and an acolyte in St. Mark's Episcopal Church.

He attended the last two years of high school at the American School in Switzerland, where he graduated in 1995. After graduation from high school, he attended Catawba College in Salisbury, N.C.,and Casper College. He then moved to Denver, where he had several jobs. He was a first- year political science major at the University of Wyoming in Laramie at the time of his death.

He enjoyed the theatre and had parts in several Casper College and Stage III Theater plays. He liked soccer, swimming, running, camping, hunting, fishing and snow skiing; as well as dancing and theatre.

Matthew was gentle of demeanour and passionate about human rights and foreign relations. Friends described him as a small man - 5-foot-2, 110 pounds - with a big heart. "He would do anything for anybody".

Matthew was killed to make a point. His fragile, broken body was left strung up like an animal as a clear message to gay men everywhere. How can someone be so consumed with hatred for a fellow human being that atrocities like this happen? Why is homosexuality even an issue? Why does it excite such feelings of hatred and violence in people, when their lives will never be touched by it? Why is a person's sexuality anyone else's business; and who are we to judge other people?

Part of the answer, at le

People need to take responsibility for their actions. You cannot blame everything on the parents. I grew up around racist people and I was told I couldn't associate with certain people. I did not listen and I still don't today.

We are responsible for ourselves and that is the bottom line. Put the blame where it belongs.

There is "evil" in the world and always has been and always will be until the end of time!!!

So be careful out there it is getting uglier everyday... I don't know what the world is coming to but it isn't good. Everyday something sickening that makes you think how in the heck could anyone want to inflict pain on another human being.

That is a very sad story, and I have a hard time accepting there is so much hate and violence in the world. I love people of all types. I think that we need to teach everyone love, compassion and acceptance.

WE CAN ONLY KEEP WISHING AND PRAYING FOR A BETTER WORLD.

I know Hungry, it is sad to hear that there are people who can't get along with someone just because of the color of their skin or whatever.

I was lucky. I grew up with a family that accepted everyone for who they were on the inside, not on the outside. I have passed that on to little moonshine. I taught her from when she was little to judge a person from the inside. It didn't matter if they were purple as long as they were good inside.

I have a wee story for ya. Little moonshine had made friends with this girl (doesn't matter what race she was) and little moonshine really enjoyed her company and got along with her well. Well I got a phone call from her mom thanking me for little moonshine's friendship to this girl because the girl had been coming home crying because her skin was darker than others and the kids were mean to her. The mom told me that the girl was happy that she had someone to be friends with. I told the mom that she didn't have to thank little moonshine for doing what she does naturally. Being an open kid and accepting anyone for who they are.

That just goes to show you that racism is taught to these people and not born in them like some people think. These kids that were teasing this girl were only 6 or 7 at the time.

Take care of yourselves,
Mt_Moonshine

Thank you for sharing that horrific story...it brings tears to my eyes...I do not understand nor will I ever want to understand what can make people act on hatred and how strong that hatred must be...

I shall pray for unity and peace.
Star

That was really nice Mt Moonshine to share that story about your daughter and her new friend. Whenever I see children that are lonely or are picked on for being different, or yet even worse, being ignored or left out, it breaks my heart. Its nice to know that somewhere a little girl has a friend!

Yes, 195,

Children can be cruel...it is especially hard for a parent to accept when other kids are mean for no apparent reason..just for the sake of being mean...unfortunately for the ones picked on, if it becomes 'popular' for others to pick on them...it has no end in sight...
Sad, but, true.
Star

My beautiful daughter was picked on by children in 3rd grade calling her 'lesbian' because it was similar to her given name...she was also in 3rd grade at the time. I cannot believe that they actually knew what the word meant?! Anyway, eventually we moved out of that school system just because of the abuse she was suffering...

Children are being taught to hate...

My daughter was an easy target, as she was new in the school that year...

I decided the best move was to MOVE after 3 boys tried to break into our apartment...while she was in there...thing is they didn't know that I was there too!
Luckily nothing happened...but, I will never understand what their motivation was...

Star

Star, that's HORRIFYING! I can't make sense out of violence myself, but I've been physically and emotionally picked on by boys more than girls - probably because I was attractive. Anyway, I've been called names - even 4-letter words - and had objects thrown at me. I've been set up as a scapegoat, even threatened with death by the other kids! I never wanted to hit and/or pick up objects and hit people with them, but I didn't think I had a choice. I even slammed doors and screamed right in people's faces! I may be a Virgo girl with a Virgo Moon and Sagittarius Rising, but I also have Scorpio in my North Node, Mars, and Neptune. Having an Aries Saturn was the biggest problem - it explained why I was SEVERELY dysfunctional! 2 years ago, I learned I had Aspergers Syndrome, and I was able to put my past experiences into perspective. I never forgave the people who made me suffer, but I was able to see that they were probably more disturbed than I was. I'm also glad you did something about the problems you and your daughter were facing. THAT was a nightmare in itself!

Thanks for understanding and for sharing, Virgo Girl.
Yes, the social worker felt that part of the 'teasing' was because my daughter is a beauty and that the boys were 'showing their interest' in her...

I found out later that I could sue the school as I met with teachers, the social worker, the principal many times regarding this subject and nothing was ever done about it...no intervention attempts whatsoever even when the teasing occurred in front of teachers!
I know that Heather disagrees with me on the public school system...but, for me they sucked in dealing with issues with my daughter...

My lawyer still wants me to sue...the only reason I would ever sue though would not be for money, but, to ensure that this never happened to another child...

I will not sue as that cannot be guaranteed...and it would only bring up many bad memories for my daughter...

This would fall under sexual abuse as a federal offense and there is no statute of limitation..

I understand perfectly well that the school does not raise our children and that they are limited by what they can do...however, I think it sucks when they do nothing!! And don't even try to do something when blatant badgering is occurring in front of their faces...

Thankfully, my daughter is one awesome chick...
She does hate her name though, and, perhaps always will...
I have given her permission to change it!
Thanks again! I am glad there are people like you, and my other awesome friends, here on this board, in this world!

Take Care!
Star

I think that without even realizing it, some parents sometimes have a tendency to be judgemental of other people without even getting to know them first. It certainly does not help children become open-minded and tolerant about people, which is exactly what this world could use--Acceptance, tolerance and understanding!

We must stop teaching our children to hate and start setting an example for them to not only accept one another's differences, but to respect and even appreciate them.


Starr I feel for you and for your daughter as well; yet at the same time, your daughter as well as your self sound like very wonderfully strong individuals. When you confronted the school about it, they turned their heads and looked the other way. Just ignoring you and dismissing you and your daughter is no solution. The school ought to be ashamed of itselves. Obviously they don't think bigotry or sexual harassment is a serious problem, and that just cannot be accepted.

If you have the time head on over to the Cancer board!

Star, ignoring problems is the worst thing anyone can do! I think it's inexcuseable! I'm glad you were able to solve this problem. I don't know if suing the school is the best way to handle this serious problem, but you should ask your daughter if she would have bad memories if you did sue. People file lawsuits for everything these days, and I can't guarantee if it really works. Talk to your lawyer and see what your options are.

I have done those things...
I asked my lawyer what would be gained from suing...he said "lots of money"...

I said.."that is not what I care about...would it make it better for other children? Would it cause the school to realize they do have a role in preventing abuse?"
He said, "I don't know"...
I know it would be hard on my daughter...she has many bad memories and unfortunately did not even tell me all of the happenings at the time they occurred...because she could see that my meetings with the school officials made no difference anyway...

We are strong women...perhaps, stronger for it...though I would wish it on no one. I did find out who the three boys were who tried to break into our apartment was and talked with their parents. 2 out of the three apologized. One sounded sincere. The other said that he was apologizing because his parents said he had to. The third didn't apologize because he didn't have to..his parents felt that I was exaggerating and making something out of nothing...

It is something that makes me ill. I hate all forms of prejudice.

Thanks for listening...
Star

So do I - denial of wrongdoings makes me even angrier!

Wonderful parents, huh? I just have one question. What's the difference between exusing their children's hateful actions and condoning them?

It's one thing to defend a loved one, but believing a loved one is "perfect" and can do no wrong is a misguided perception! I once had a boyfriend who was mean to me and his mother believed I provoked him and that he was "perfect" and I was "messed up"! The truth is, BOTH of us made mistakes, and I slammed the telephone in her ear after telling her that! If it wasn't against the law to kill people, I would take a shotgun and blow off the heads of all the people in my life who treated me like s---!

Yes, it tends to shock me when some have such a skewed picture..sometimes shocked to the point that I cannot even speak!

My daughter is certainly not perfect...but, she deserves every chance to learn and to grow and to be the best she can be...
That is what I strive for! I am so proud of her these days!

Take Care!
Star