Overreacting or are they truly clueless?

There is this post in the scorpio forum but what was asked was what does "Being there mean to you" and also about disappointment.

Most of the scorpios there talked about how we have high expectations of people and of ourselves and that what we look for in others is reliability and consistency. Sometimes its as simple as being there when I need you are just keeping your word.

I've been in a real shitty mood this past week at several things going on and normally I can get passed someone's mistakes but for some reason this week, I've been severally irritated and enraged by the geminis I know and the aquariuses I know.

The my gemini friend is very forgetful and easily distracted by nature but i guess this week when I needed her and she said she was going to stop by before she had to run errands...she ended up forgetting and I ended up waiting for nothing. This irritated me.

Then most the aquarians I know (2 males, and 1 female) have been really pushing my buttons. The female is an older sister of mine and she is the worst at arriving on time. Birthdays, holidays, any event that's important to someone she says she and her family will arrive at 6pm, they show up at 8pm causing everyone including me waiting for her. That set me off this week.

Then two male aquarians I know...1 kept making his desire for fun fun fun fun, kept interrupting another friends ability to help me knowing full well he was interrupting a serious situation but kept doing it anyway.

The other male aquarian and i were supposed to hang out (his idea) and he knew we were supposed to and some how decided to do other things instead, had me waiting and he finally called an hour after we were supposed to meet and acted like nothing happened. I was so enraged I gave him complete attitude and the conversation got awkward.

For some reason sun signs especially the ones that have a personality that is easily distracted really frustrates me and I don't know if its these particular people, these particular signs...but they always do things that are so shitty and they make no apologies for it. Think we have no right to be upset, and in the end I feel like I'm mad for no reason.

My question is especially dealing with aquas for example, is this normal for them? If so, how can I not let it get to me so much. In the past when this behavior happened few times, I used to get so enraged and I'd yell at them or get so frustrated, get an attitude...similar to this week...and it neve

I haven't said anything to any of the aquas or geminis yet because I know all of their response would be:

- Oh sorry I had to do xyz (which is usually nothing more important than being reliable to someone who needs you)

- Oh it was "tentative"

- Oh sorry.


and then they'll probably end up thinking "Geez she's crabby. Remind me not to make plans with her next time."

I don't want them to think that.

My question is especially dealing with aquas for example, is this normal for them? If so, how can I not let it get to me so much. In the past when this behavior happened few times, I used to get so enraged and I'd yell at them or get so frustrated, get an attitude...similar to this week...and it never fixed the problem. They never apologized for it nor did they see anything.

How can I get them to understand that suggesting plans, even if they are tentative or confirmed...you have to keep your word. When people need you, you should be there. How can anyone get them to understand if they typically think what they think its correct, even when society thinks its wrong.

Yeah and they always make it seem like they had a better reason, and the reason is never MORE IMPORTANT. It's always crap that could have waited.

My oldest sibling is always late to everything. She's the one that said she wanted certain get togethers to start let's say at "6pm"...she shows up at 8pm and everyone's starving and upset cause they waited for her. Other times she decides to show up early and didn't tell anyone when she was coming so no one was ready yet. She does this all the time, so flaky. It frustrates me so much that I don't plan anything anymore. I make no suggestions to anything, and it forces her to do the planning.

My gem friend has this habit of flaking on me whenever we have plans and its flaking for things going on with her family that aren't really important. She doesn't even tell me she has to flake and if she does its the very last minute. But she keeps trying to make plans to make it up to me or make future plans but flakes every time. So I finally said to her look if you ever want to do anything. You need to tell me as your leaving your house to come over becuase you keep flaking. But what enabled me to be bunt was she's always apologetic.

The aquariuses are something else altogether. Either they are clueless unless someone is direct with them but they never seem to apologize for anything, never seem to realize when they bring up plans people are going to hold them to it, and also seem to think that people shouldn't be upset about it cause anything they "plan" isn't important. It's like WTF man!

I'm just so frustrated with all of them to where I have a migraine now. I didn't intend my anger making them want to take space, but I don't know how else to get them to understand that its very crappy of them.

Oh and this jsut happened as i read your reply.

One of the aquariuses told a mutual friend about some get together but involved me in the planning of it. So this mutual firend called me up and wanted to know more info about it, cause she offered to help with it. I was like what get togehter, this is the first time I'm hearing about it.

Anyway I got irritated again because how can Aqua involve my name to other people about something they haven't even talked to me about.

it's fucking annoying!!! I don't even know what to say or if i should even say anything.

But that's not the point, the point is the aquariuses involved me in some crap and didn't bother telling me about it. It's irritating! They keep doing this to me all the time, not respecting MY time.

So what's the solution? Be flaky back?

Posted by IAmMystified
My question is especially dealing with aquas ...

How can I get them to understand that suggesting plans, even if they are tentative or confirmed...you have to keep your word. When people need you, you should be there. How can anyone get them to understand if they typically think what they think its correct, even when society thinks its wrong.

ten'ta??tive (tnt-tv)
adj.

1. Not fully worked out, concluded, or agreed on; provisional: tentative plans.

2. Uncertain; hesitant.

.........................................



There is a huge difference between tentative plans, and plans

that have been agreed on and confirmed by both parties.

Posted by feby

Posted by IAmMystified
But that's not the point, the point is the aquariuses involved me in some crap and didn't bother telling me about it. It's irritating! They keep doing this to me all the time, not respecting MY time.

So what's the solution? Be flaky back?

The solution would be to do whatever you have to do to help yourself feel better about this situation. Take other people out of it.

Soooo I'd say the options are:
1.Put less stock into it/ lower your expectations
2.tell them to be there at 1230 and tell everyone else 1
3.dont plan things with these people who annoy you
4. Accept them as they are (feel free to vent even to them) but don't hold it against them ie keep it moving
5. Since you know you'll have to wait for them just plan it so you'll be late as well (without negativity or vengeance)
You could have something plan to do something else as you're waiting ie online shopping or making a phone call.

Just some ideas🙂

click to expand

I shouldn't have to do that stuff. But I decided I'll just be flaky with their important things. I won't take initiative and I will stop caring!

Posted by flowingwater
This is so cool at how scorps think hahaha oh sorry...

Anyways yeah I can be like that. I'm so laid back about time that it pisses everyone off. I don't do it on purpose, shit gets in the way but I'm really forgetful. Don't even try to ask me what happened a week ago because it won't come up. I can't live life thinking would of or could of.. More like it is what it is. I don't hold anger for too long about whatever because that shit ages and kills you faster. Holding a grudge is FUCKING exhausting! It wears me down mentally and emotionally.

OMG that's how they are too!

But its like dude or dudette...if you promise someone something...shouldn't you make every effort to remember and be on time?!

Posted by KVZZMIR11
Be the first to arrive.
Be the first to leave.

Your friends are slackers, and astrology cant even save them...LMAO!

I so agree.

They can't be on time...always 2 hours late.
They can't remember anything.
They expect people to remember their things.
Rarely apologize or is thankful/appreciative


Ever since I gave the aquarians an attitude, they have been super quiet. Either think I'm super b.itchy this week or are freaking out/super senstive. I heard they lately have been giving other people attitude.

HAHAHA.

I freak out if I am going to possibly be late to something... I plan ahead so I won't be.. /shrug

Also, have you ever told them how you feel about this constant lateness? If you haven't then they have no clue it bothers you and that may be why it continues...

Posted by justagirl
I freak out if I am going to possibly be late to something... I plan ahead so I won't be.. /shrug

Also, have you ever told them how you feel about this constant lateness? If you haven't then they have no clue it bothers you and that may be why it continues...

oh i have. THey either usually have an excuse for it or they make it seem like its not a big deal.

So that's why i decided to flake on them 😄

well that sucks.. time for new friends!

Time is precious and those I call friend mean the world to me.. so I give what I get and vs versa. Those I surround myself with understand this, I mean sure from time to time things come up, emergencies or whatnot, but if it's ALL the time... there is the door, don't let it hit your ass on the way out 😄

It could actually be my scorpio bits because I actually relate to what scorpios say in that thread.

Keeping my word is big to me. VERY BIG. I don't say something lightly because I genuinely believe words have power. So you my friend have shit aqua friends. I call or text would be nice to inform me you are going to be late so I can just do something else rather than waiting for you. A smoke signal... ANYTHING.

If you want to take my approach be blunt as fuck and say "don't waste my time, if I don't hear anything again and you're not there within 10 minutes I'm just going to bail and never make plans with you again".

@aquanoz, I'm naturally blunt sometimes harsh 😄 and its been said before but it usually has opposite effects.

But as I drove home late last nite I realized several things that I can't remember but I'll post what I do remember.

- My own communication skills suck. So how can I expect them to communicate with me properly if IM not doing the same.

- As a scorpio, I have high expectations of everyone I care about. That's not good. Having expectations so high that no one can meet it, will always leave room for disappointment.

- I have been too accomodating. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing but even good people get used to it and start to become accustomed to taking advantage of it

- The priority for each human being in life is their OWN needs and worries first, everyone else second. I need to understand that what's important to me, may not be as important to others even if they empathize, it still comes second.

So what I've decided to do is:

- Be a better communicator. Be the example. You know that ghandi quote.
- Be less accommodating. Allow people to learn the consequences of their own mistakes. No more saving people.
- Lower my expectations and standards
- Understand that their stuff may be more important than mine.

I believe doing this consistently will not only teach my dumb friends how to communicate better, but they will learn by their own doing how to fix their own inadequacies (if they do) and to fend for themselves.

Posted by Sammy20
My bffs always give me the wrong time whenever we make plans. As much as an hr earlier, so I'd only be 1hr (or less) late lol. I'm never on time for anything. But I hate waiting on others. So maybe switch roles and see how they like it. Or give them the wrong time. 2hrs earlier should be sufficient

I shoudln't have to change my "technique" because the other person can't manage their time, but yeah if I wanna get my way I have to adjust.

I'm not an Aqua but I would like to add something to this conversation 🙂 From what I've noticed, most Aquarians don't measure time like others do. My bf will be talking to me on the phone then he tells me he has to go, he'll catch up with me later, "later" to him could mean tomorrow lol I'm not the type to be waiting on what others do or don't do though. So I move on, run errands, etc. When he does call me back and we continue our conversation, there's no anger on my part bc I wasn't waiting for anything... I don't know if it even makes sense, but, I can totally understand your point of view on this, however, I can understand an Aquarius side of it as well. Don't be expecting an air sign to react to things the way you do, it will only frustrate you and baffle them. Everything an Aquarius does is important to them, so maybe you think it's something less important than you are, but, again, Aquarians will see things differently. Just sayin, that's why they act like it's no big deal, bc they don't have your point of view...

Posted by RosyLibra
I'm not an Aqua but I would like to add something to this conversation 🙂 From what I've noticed, most Aquarians don't measure time like others do. My bf will be talking to me on the phone then he tells me he has to go, he'll catch up with me later, "later" to him could mean tomorrow lol I'm not the type to be waiting on what others do or don't do though. So I move on, run errands, etc. When he does call me back and we continue our conversation, there's no anger on my part bc I wasn't waiting for anything... I don't know if it even makes sense, but, I can totally understand your point of view on this, however, I can understand an Aquarius side of it as well. Don't be expecting an air sign to react to things the way you do, it will only frustrate you and baffle them. Everything an Aquarius does is important to them, so maybe you think it's something less important than you are, but, again, Aquarians will see things differently. Just sayin, that's why they act like it's no big deal, bc they don't have your point of view...

Yeah I can see that side and I'm fully aware of it. It's just my own stubbornness. Because I keep my word, I naturally expect others to keep theirs.

But its funny cause some of the aquarians I know will say things like. See you in a bit (to me it means in like 30 minutes TOPS)...but to them it means at some point that day whether its a few minutes or hours later.

But I do know that when they are trying to pin down a definite time, they do say actual times like. I will call you at pm or I will see you on sunday morning. That means that's the definite time.

Look I can say the same thing about Scorpios honestly...

You care too much about the actions of other people who don't hold you in nearly as high a regard.

Just find other people to talk to. It's what an Aqua would do.

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Look I can say the same thing about Scorpios honestly...

You care too much about the actions of other people who don't hold you in nearly as high a regard.

Just find other people to talk to. It's what an Aqua would do.

Lol that's the difference between scorps and aquas.

When we know someone we get to know them. If they're just an acquaintance we don't bother being around them. It's either close friends or we don't know you at all.

Aquas are more like lots and lots of acquaintances. We don't like acquaintances.

Posted by IAmMystified

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Look I can say the same thing about Scorpios honestly...

You care too much about the actions of other people who don't hold you in nearly as high a regard.

Just find other people to talk to. It's what an Aqua would do.

Lol that's the difference between scorps and aquas.

When we know someone we get to know them. If they're just an acquaintance we don't bother being around them. It's either close friends or we don't know you at all.

Aquas are more like lots and lots of acquaintances. We don't like acquaintances.

click to expand

um what are we ALL doing here on dxp? discussing stuff on a group setting/messageboard, we are strangers but we all have a common ground: astrology and relationships/dynamics knowledge.

and you've known astrology HOW LONG now?? you should know by now that every aqua is different and depends on their charts/upbringing. I keep pointing out many different types/relationships and clues, but ya'll got some serious blockage or just ignore the obvious.

plus i'm married to a man who doesn't even want to have dinner with the neighbors who are very nice and polite/trusting types of people. WHY? because he doesn't want to get PERSONAL with just people who aren't "close". So you do the math, genius.

anyway, i always presume everyone's got a high intelligence, because never never underestimate anyone, because they can be super smart and then try to trick you that they're not. So obviously you are probably most highly LIKELY super smart, so you know all this really well and just yanking our chains.
i wonder what transits are out today? it feels kind of edgy and fiery. ugh. that's right. Virgo sun/sagitarius moon (squaring out today) and with a fiery mercury sagittarius. WIN! yay!!
loveeeee that mercury mmmm mmmmm good. lmao 😆

venus cap/mars aqua opposite jupiter leo. uranus aries/saturn scorpio Jeyzus christus! it's a funky mood tonight 😄

Posted by RosyLibra
From what I've noticed, most Aquarians don't measure time like others do. My bf will be talking to me on the phone then he tells me he has to go, he'll catch up with me later, "later" to him could mean tomorrow lol
Don't be expecting an air sign to react to things the way you do, it will only frustrate you and baffle them. Everything an Aquarius does is important to them, so maybe you think it's something less important than you are, but, again, Aquarians will see things differently.

This is spot on. I personally have noticed that I have a VERY vague concept of time. I don't schedule most things out in my day unless I have to physically leave my house. I keep mental to-do lists, all of which are tentative and guaranteed to change (and also a bit vague). When I say I'll call you later, it will be after I've accomplished everything that is top priority i.e. homework, laundry, eating, exercising, sleeping. While I am very social, I do consider social events optional and bit more lax than work or an interview. I'm not sure why but I figure, "Hey, they're my friends and we're here to have a good time." I can understand getting upset if y'all were meeting up for lunch or coffee, but a party... I mean usually the person who is late is not the most important person there. You can have fun without them and when they show up, be happy they are there. That's how I look at it. We do get distracted easily and it's not just because we couldn't stop watching Netflix. A tendency to be forgetful plus poor planning skills equals being late the majority of the time. I also find communicating plans to other people really frustrating and time/energy consuming, so I wait until the last minute. When multiple people are involved you have to make it work for everyone's schedule and it's just like why do I even bother.

I'm all about honoring your engagements, and I realize being late is rude and inconsiderate. However, the last thing you want to do is get emotional with an Aquarius about being late. This is how we (or I) look at it:
- I'm invited to this party/event, awesome!
- Whoops, gonna be late. Did not intend for that to happen. (no sarcasm)
- I finally get here and so-and-so is mad at me for being late, AND NOW I CAN'T HAVE FUN BECAUSE THEY ARE MAD.

It's not that we couldn't care less about wasting your time; most Aquarians and air signs are sorry. We just don't verbalize our apology because we probably got distracted. Seriously. Also, you getting upset is a HUGE vibe killer. You're not solving anything by getting an attitude, ESPECIALLY with Aquarians because we tend to like to do the thing that you hate just to prove that you can't tell us what to do. I will admit that I'm a hypocrite because I hate when people are late, but I also know how choose my battles. People are meant to have fun at parties, so don't ruin that. Just let it go. If an air sign is late to a wedding, funeral, child birth, or any other important life event, that's when you should get mad at them. And even then, be calm about it because we respond MUCH better to calmness. Excessive anger or tears will freak us out and we'll just think you're being overly emotional or irrational. It's all in the approach.

[end rant]

Posted by IAmMystified

Posted by RosyLibra
I'm not an Aqua but I would like to add something to this conversation 🙂 From what I've noticed, most Aquarians don't measure time like others do. My bf will be talking to me on the phone then he tells me he has to go, he'll catch up with me later, "later" to him could mean tomorrow lol I'm not the type to be waiting on what others do or don't do though. So I move on, run errands, etc. When he does call me back and we continue our conversation, there's no anger on my part bc I wasn't waiting for anything... I don't know if it even makes sense, but, I can totally understand your point of view on this, however, I can understand an Aquarius side of it as well. Don't be expecting an air sign to react to things the way you do, it will only frustrate you and baffle them. Everything an Aquarius does is important to them, so maybe you think it's something less important than you are, but, again, Aquarians will see things differently. Just sayin, that's why they act like it's no big deal, bc they don't have your point of view...

Yeah I can see that side and I'm fully aware of it. It's just my own stubbornness. Because I keep my word, I naturally expect others to keep theirs.

But its funny cause some of the aquarians I know will say things like. See you in a bit (to me it means in like 30 minutes TOPS)...but to them it means at some point that day whether its a few minutes or hours later.

But I do know that when they are trying to pin down a definite time, they do say actual times like. I will call you at pm or I will see you on sunday morning. That means that's the definite time.

click to expand

I bolded that part because to be honest it seems as if your struggles with the Aquas in your life, is your own expectations you place on other people. that's ALL you, not them...

so they aren't flaky if there is a set time? but if they say catch you later or see you later and you don't hear from them after 30 minutes they are? just clarifying, because that's pretty much what you are saying...

Posted by aquasnoz
It could actually be my scorpio bits because I actually relate to what scorpios say in that thread.

Keeping my word is big to me. VERY BIG. I don't say something lightly because I genuinely believe words have power. So you my friend have shit aqua friends. I call or text would be nice to inform me you are going to be late so I can just do something else rather than waiting for you. A smoke signal... ANYTHING.

If you want to take my approach be blunt as fuck and say "don't waste my time, if I don't hear anything again and you're not there within 10 minutes I'm just going to bail and never make plans with you again".

I am the same! My word is my bond!

I'm an Aqua through and through and I'm hardly late for anything mind you I'm never early. I like building energy before going to a party and it takes time to feel my oats and get in the mood, if I turn up rushed I will not have a good time therefore no one has a good fucking time.

Posted by aquaaa0214

Posted by RosyLibra
From what I've noticed, most Aquarians don't measure time like others do. My bf will be talking to me on the phone then he tells me he has to go, he'll catch up with me later, "later" to him could mean tomorrow lol
Don't be expecting an air sign to react to things the way you do, it will only frustrate you and baffle them. Everything an Aquarius does is important to them, so maybe you think it's something less important than you are, but, again, Aquarians will see things differently.

This is spot on. I personally have noticed that I have a VERY vague concept of time. I don't schedule most things out in my day unless I have to physically leave my house. I keep mental to-do lists, all of which are tentative and guaranteed to change (and also a bit vague). When I say I'll call you later, it will be after I've accomplished everything that is top priority i.e. homework, laundry, eating, exercising, sleeping. While I am very social, I do consider social events optional and bit more lax than work or an interview. I'm not sure why but I figure, "Hey, they're my friends and we're here to have a good time." I can understand getting upset if y'all were meeting up for lunch or coffee, but a party... I mean usually the person who is late is not the most important person there. You can have fun without them and when they show up, be happy they are there. That's how I look at it. We do get distracted easily and it's not just because we couldn't stop watching Netflix. A tendency to be forgetful plus poor planning skills equals being late the majority of the time. I also find communicating plans to other people really frustrating and time/energy consuming, so I wait until the last minute. When multiple people are involved you have to make it work for everyone's schedule and it's just like why do I even bother.

click to expand

Interesting comparison. For me, being on time is more important than the tasks itself. Not sure why. I'll have to think about this.