is intellectual rapport

in a relationship important to you?

i am dating a scorpio sun/sag moon/libra venus/aries mars man for a couple months now and generally happy with him. this is not a serious matter to me at the moment but it is something i am perplexed about. since the beginning, he has been very passionate with me and described himself as "smitten". i am a sag moon/libra venus myself so i feel we gell very well together... except in regards to intellectual rapport, imo. i feel that while he is passionate and emotional with me, he reserves philosophical/intellectual exchanges with his friends. and i do sense a sort of intellectual elitism from him,like he knows best.. while he has no qualms in making sure i know that he is well informed, i feel he isn't necessarily interested in understanding me intellectually. it's frustrating at times because i really desire an emotional AND intellectual connection with my partner otherwise it feels empty to me.

thoughts? opinions?

communicate communicate... if it still doesnt work then its time to move on and say NEXT... 😄

Posted by chococream
communicate communicate... if it still doesnt work then its time to move on and say NEXT... 😄

yep i agree! i have communicated this to him and he thanked me for doing so. i will have to see if things will improve... but is it not at all important to you scorpios? wondering..

Posted by bloodflood

Posted by chococream
communicate communicate... if it still doesnt work then its time to move on and say NEXT... 😄

yep i agree! i have communicated this to him and he thanked me for doing so. i will have to see if things will improve... but is it not at all important to you scorpios? wondering..

click to expand

personally it is vital for me to have this intellectual connection with the man i am dating otherwise I will seriously get bored. if you can jam with him intellectually assert yourself. show him how intellectually stimulating you are. for me there is nothing more sexy that asserting yourself to me in a subtle way. I may show shocked but in my head you got my attention.

How old is he? How many serious relationships has he been in previously?

Perhaps it's not that he doesn't want an intellectual connection with you. Perhaps it's just that he doesn't know HOW to have both an emotional *and* intellectual connection with his partner.. Especially early on.. One layer of vulnerability at a time type thing.

If it's bothering you, then I'd mention it to him. But the connection you're looking for might just be something that comes with time, consistency, and comfort.

Posted by bloodflood
in a relationship important to you?

i am dating a scorpio sun/sag moon/libra venus/aries mars man for a couple months now and generally happy with him. this is not a serious matter to me at the moment but it is something i am perplexed about. since the beginning, he has been very passionate with me and described himself as "smitten". i am a sag moon/libra venus myself so i feel we gell very well together... except in regards to intellectual rapport, imo. i feel that while he is passionate and emotional with me, he reserves philosophical/intellectual exchanges with his friends. and i do sense a sort of intellectual elitism from him,like he knows best.. while he has no qualms in making sure i know that he is well informed, i feel he isn't necessarily interested in understanding me intellectually. it's frustrating at times because i really desire an emotional AND intellectual connection with my partner otherwise it feels empty to me.

thoughts? opinions?

Well my thought is the question you're posing to us doesn't really matter since "intellectual rapport" is important to you. Talk to him about it.

Posted by exoskeleton
extremely important.

find a topic that interests both of you and start there.

even if you have different views and mindsets on certain subjects, remember that respect is key. he needs to feel comfortable expressing his ideas to you without judgement.

It sounds like he's having the issue showing respect though.

This is a funny topic because I am very intellectual with people but not really with my virgo male friend. He has seen glimpses of my intellectual side but I reserve it.

Sometimes we like to keep our "intellect" til ourselves just to fill you out. We are psychologist of the mind.

For example a few times my virgo friend told me that I "play dumb" of course I do just to see how far you would go to deceive me. Once you pass our test then we open up and you can see the REAL us.

Keep communication open and try to bring up intellect conversations first. Keep doing it til he is comfortable to talk with you about it. 🙂

his mercury is in scorpio .. mine is in libra. he is sometimes very callous and extreme in his communication. there's no beating around the bush with him. strangely enough, he claims that is his way of respect. but my idea of respect is genuinely hearing the other person out, not just asserting your opinion and waiting for your turn to speak.

i guess we're really emitting stereotypes of our respective mercuries...

Posted by exoskeleton
if you dum, you don't cum. :/

well.. he says i'm the best he's ever had so i must be a genius 😉