Recently married to Aquarius man! HELP!!!

Am a scorpio woman who was married to an aquarius last may. Weve been in a distant on and off relationship for 17 years. It was a roller coaster and ive changed alot because of my relationship with him. I obviously still love him, thats why i took him back after he broke up and disappeared for stupid reasons. One week before we got married, he asked me to pick him up from airport and get ready to get married as soon as he gets to my country. Thats what we did! After we got married, he told me that we will live in different states. He works in 2 jobs so he works in 2 states. He wants to have me living in the state where he least visits.. Thats 6 days a month which i refused and had a big fight over. Then he surprises me, again, that he wants me to sign a prenup because we have a fragile history (he was always the who left. I went to the US late June and asked to meet to discuss things but he refused saying he's clear about what he wants from me. From May until today, weve only spoke on the phone 4 times, always fighting about it over and over. We rarely exchange messages and when we do its fighting as well. Please note, it not necessary for me to be with him on fb (because his profile is public!!) Whenever i used to call before marriage, he would never pick up- it always has to be when he find suitable. He lives a single life, as if i dont exist. He never asks about how im doing or if i need anything, even when im nice to him and show him that i care.

He does not want a divorce, he wants me to accept to live in the states he's working at the least. He does not seem to appreciate that im leaving a very good career behind, my whole family that im attached to and my best friends. He does not seem to understand no sane person would leave all this, to marry someone who would see 6 days a month. He claims the reason he doesnt want me to be in the state he lives there the most is because its too expensive, even tho the other state is as expensive as much!! Please note, his mother did not like me sincce we got engaged and was the reason we broke up one of the times.. He married me without her knowing, and hes not willing to tell her before we have kids. She lives with him in the state he will be staying at the longest.. What do i do.. I do not feel safe, or ok. Ive been depressed over this.

Mya family wants me to divorce, but there is something inside me that tells me he will appreciate all ive been through to make it work all these years, and another voice

and another voice tells me, he didnt appreciate me before i got into his house, when im in its going to be even worst.

i need ur opinions, i cannot be married and relive distance, and i cannot sign a prenup for the simple fact that he might not be sure how long he wants to stay with me, or does not trust me. I feel hurt and humiliated for this.

Thank u all.

Giirl, you have to leave him and forget about him.

Think of this as a crazy adventure you had with a crazy man..

Don't waste another second, just get out of this situation asap. You can waste a few months for someone else but not your whole life !!!!!

Thank God i did not leave my job yet. But im so hurt that after 17 years, this is how he pays me back. Im ashamed to look my family in the eyes, they didnt want that we come back together, but i thought he overcame his fear of commitment and enthusiastic to have a normal happy life together.
I have no idea what makes me attached to him. Im scared i file for divorce and regret it later because i still have some kind of feelings towards him, its a mixture of love, blame and hate- though he gave me all the reasons to want to file for divorce.

I told him he needs to see a psychiatrist or smtg cause what hes said and done is unbelievable. He is 42 now and he knows hes so hard to deal with. He said he took an appointment for the 2nd of september. How can we go for a marriage counselor if we both live in different countries?

No to the prenup. Yes to everything else

I think you should see the psychiatrist... And I don't mean this in a rude way.

Why would you even want to be part of any of what you described?

That's the real question.

Is he just wanting a green card?

No he is the one with citizenship, im a foreigner. We had a facebook check (which were not friends on) and i told him what he did after marriage (not asking about me or having anything to do with me) is worst that the problems of those 17 years, i said many things.. But he turns things over, as usual, and told me im the one who said no and left the states without coming to him, that he never asked for divorce and that i should go back and move on.. He did not ad anything, i dont know if i should stay with him if he says he doesnt want a prenup anymore.. I care for him but i dont know if i can feel any stability or security with him

File. Hand him the papers and your terms. Don't waver. Deceide what you're want from your life with or without him. (Example, career, traveling, housing.) If you want to stay in the states, go for it. Cover your ass, make sure you're legal (active visa, green card, apply for citizenship) The states is pretty easy going for citizenship if you so choose. It really only takes 5 years of living in the states, two interviews and you're good. If not, head on home.

Just choose what you want to do with your life and hand him all the terms of what you decide along with those divorce papers. He can choose to sign or not. If he doesn't and he doesn't compromise at all, make sure the courts know you're separated. You can also file and if he chooses no action, the courts will allow divorce by default. Make sure YOU are the first to involve the court system.

I mean, you ARE already living separated. Take full advantage of that to live your life how you see fit. Do not let him take control over you. He cannot force you to do anything that you do no agree to do. If he wishes to be part of your life- he will.

wow, sounds like he is run by his MOTHER. O_O

he puts his mother before YOU. do you honestly want that? If he wants a wife,he must take a WIFE,not his mother. His mother isn't his wife. It sounds like his mother is the true controller of this relationship.

In any case, he sounds kind of wimpy, because he won't fight for you. 😢

sorry, OP, you spent 17 years hoping for this guy. I don't know what to say....