
that's ultimately your choice isn't it? Are you expecting someone to say yes or no?







Posted by satoristarlight
Thanks for all the feedback guys, I appreciate it!
aquasnoz: For some reason I can't bring myself to initiate contact on this occasion, I suppose I am feeling a little angry about the whole thing and don't want to fly off the handle, if he comes forward like he has in the past I will calmly initiate a conversation about it again.
Impressme: Thats a fair point, he does seem to listen very closely to what I say. I tried to tell him I don't need him to hold back quite so much but he interrupted me to say that I was right all along and he agrees, he doesn't want to skip the "get to know you" phase.
Cocokat: I don't get a player/manipulator vibe from him. The last two times this happened it was clear he had been analyzing very deeply and did eventually come forward and explain his distance/share his thoughts about us.
Saying that, I have been tricked before and I don't want that to happen again. I have been purposely avoiding any sort of game playing, because I'm looking for an authentic connection. Instead I have kept my independent streak and have simply let him keep coming around. I do agree however that he "tests" I have picked this up myself, he asks things that I KNOW are to gauge my level of interest, when he does this I tend to respond quite nonchalantly, but later I may give him an unexpected compliment or say something sweet on my own terms.

Posted by impressmeePosted by satoristarlight
Impressme: Thats a fair point, he does seem to listen very closely to what I say. I tried to tell him I don't need him to hold back quite so much but he interrupted me to say that I was right all along and he agrees, he doesn't want to skip the "get to know you" phase.
Good.
So now get to know each other.
Sometimes it's nice to miss each other.click to expand




Posted by satoristarlight
So I came here before and got some great advice.
You might remember I am the Cancer lady who asked her Aqua to slow down because he came on so strong after the first date.
He respected that and over the next 5 weeks we fell in to a nice pattern of talking most days, going on dates or him staying over 1-2 a week.
I was happy with it, he came and stayed over last week and also asked if he could spend the weekend with me, then Friday rolled around and I got a flurry of messages from him saying he felt he was going to smother me and scare me away. I told him it was cool but he didn't have to come over. He reiterated that he felt he was being too full on(he isn't at all) and we broke plans.
After that he kept asking if I was upset, I said no but it's a pet peeve of mine when someone makes plans and just breaks them. I added that at this stage this worrying about coming on too strong was setting off my "BS detector" He laughed and said "I don't BS but you're right that was a shitty thing to do, I'm sorry"
We talked a little more, I told him I had missed him he said he missed me too.
Since then NOTHING, Not a peep, five days on he has today "liked" one of my photos but still no contact. I am starting to wonder if he's just not that in to me.
He has done this before twice in 6 weeks but both times I left him alone and he came back stronger, still he has never left it this long before. 1-2 days was always the max.
Is it time to write him off?

Posted by mz
sth is off...you can stay around and find out, or...you could mind your own business....really mind it...
people may not be ready for a relationship and not even realise it at the moment things happen/develop...that's why you'd better trust facts, actions and less words...

Posted by CocoKat
If you text him now you'll see this behavior again soon in the future, perhaps for longer time away. Wait for him, he'll be on his best behavior if he returns and if he doesn't then perhaps you slept with him to soon. Pay attention to that feeling of "off" and not knowing his sincerity, that's your intuition. Could be wrong but its there for a reason.


Posted by IAmMystified
Aren't aquas notorious for taking a break/space/wanting to be alone? And then coming back wanting to be all lovey squishy and all that stuff?
I think they like things non dramatic and smooth and him having to worry probably is too much for him to take.
Just ease his mind and have a small talk when he returns 🙂

Posted by CocoKat
I tell most of the women I know to WAIT as long as possible before sex. I plan on writing more to expose gaming tactics on the relationship forum when I have more time.

Posted by truecapPosted by CocoKat
I tell most of the women I know to WAIT as long as possible before sex. I plan on writing more to expose gaming tactics on the relationship forum when I have more time.click to expand
Sadly I can't hop in my time machine and undo it, normally I would hold off for two months + but with him I only made it 3 weeks. I'd like to think it didn't change anything but who knows.
On our second date he had me pinned against a wall with my arms above my head kissing my neck, I was literally weak at the knees but I still pushed him out the door haha

Posted by CocoKat
I know, HOT chemistry is so addictive (for women)... the way you feel after you have sex with the man you like and you want more with HIM, unless he really, really likes you and is emotionally attached already he will crave that with someone new and if he cant get it with someone new he will go to who he knows (fwb), this is how most males are wired, that's WHY fwb's rarely work out. Committed sexual relationships are Hollywood stories, that is not how the male sex drive works, its a "spread your seed" mentality.

Posted by CocoKat
I hadn't realized he has taken you out after you've had sex. Clearly that is not the case for you, my apologies, It is the case for many women who do fall into bed right away but it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. I do really hope it works out for you though.
Posted by satoristarlightPosted by CocoKat
I hadn't realized he has taken you out after you've had sex. Clearly that is not the case for you, my apologies, It is the case for many women who do fall into bed right away but it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. I do really hope it works out for you though.
aww thanks! Yeah he went distant briefly after it happened but I didn't worry about it, I just busied myself with other things, that's when the frantic phone call came from him about worrying about coming on too strong, he also said he'd been waiting for me to finalize some plans, that week he took me out on a romantic dinner and since then he's been coming over just to hang out and be around me. Even if I had to work he would just chill on my couch until I was done and he could spend time with me. But now all this fear about coming on too strong again and this absence.
When he broke plans for the weekend he actually offered to take me out instead on the saturday but he could tell I wasn't impressed with him so in the end we never went. I'm tempted to think it's a genuine fear he has, when I asked him to back off all those weeks ago he really took it hard. Said he'd been telling his friends and family about me and walking around with a daft grin on his face, but now he wasn't going to know how to act around me but that he would figure it out somehow.
I'm feeling pretty frustrated, I miss him, I can see he has been online but he hasn't spoken, just liked my picture...wth is that? hahaclick to expand



Posted by satoristarlight
Well, it's been just over a week now since we spoke. I guess it's over.


Posted by augustmoonPosted by satoristarlight
Well, it's been just over a week now since we spoke. I guess it's over.
I'm not a relationship expert, but I can't understand calling a SHORT period in which he doesn't initiate contact with you a 'disappearance'. That hardly means that its over.
If you're that bothered by a lack of contact, then tell him and contact him yourself. If you play games with someone, they are probably going to play games with you as well.
click to expand

Posted by IAmMystified
agreed. Contact him once...if you still don't hear from him, then I'm inclined to agree with you.

Posted by aquasnoz
Thankyou miss/mister forum master of seduction.
People like you make normal people lives full of pointless mind games. I salute you.
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