Why Wont This Aqau Just say it is done??

I have a question...I know Aquas are blunt and will say what they mean..and mean what they say. I want to know..this Aqua..Why won't he just say it is over? I asked him..he avoids it or ignores me. I am breaking it..it is a done battle..but I just don't get it..Why doesn't he just break it off? I gave him the out to do it..and said..Just let me know it is over and I will step. Ignores me and the question..I just can't do the stay..the disappear after we do good..and reveals feelings..then nothing for like 2 months..I mean a txt here and there. We got into it about something..then he called fussed then hung up..I said sorry about that..and asked him what happens from here..he said what do you mean? WE continue..All couples argue..but then silent treatment..I just want to know WHY HE WONT SAY I AM DONE?? But I am cool now..hurts..but I am dealing..Just wondering why..smh..lol..MAN THIS SUCKS!!

Maybe because its not done?

I think its either:

1) He wants to do his own thing but @ the same time wants to keep you in his back pocket which explains why he's still around, leaves, comes back, etc.

Or 2) He doesn't want to hurt your feelings and can't bring himself to actually break it off so he always dodges the topic whenever you bring it up.

Either way, he's giving u the run around & u deserve a straight up answer. If he's dodgin ur questions everytime u wana talk bout it, then forget him! He's wasting ur time & if he rily cared and wanted things to work y wouldn't he just say he's done or not done? It's simple. Don't let him play u. U deserve better. Good luck w/ everything 🙂

if he disappears for 2 months, you're not a "couple."

this isn't an "aqua needs space" issue. this IS a "he's not that into you" scenario?

either way, why are you waiting for him to determine your fate? you want out? leave.

if you choose to stay, you choose the consequences. if this is what you want out of a "relationship," then you get what you so lovingly deserve.

Posted by ThisAndThat
Maybe because its not done?

Don't know..right now..I will never know...

Posted by aquarius21
I think its either:

1) He wants to do his own thing but @ the same time wants to keep you in his back pocket which explains why he's still around, leaves, comes back, etc.

Or 2) He doesn't want to hurt your feelings and can't bring himself to actually break it off so he always dodges the topic whenever you bring it up.

Either way, he's giving u the run around & u deserve a straight up answer. If he's dodgin ur questions everytime u wana talk bout it, then forget him! He's wasting ur time & if he rily cared and wanted things to work y wouldn't he just say he's done or not done? It's simple. Don't let him play u. U deserve better. Good luck w/ everything 🙂

One time we got into it..he said we just need to part ways. That was because he ws mad I going to lunch with someone eles..after I had not seen or heard from him in 1 month. I mean..I made up my mind..been mulling it over. But nothing to think about...but to keep it moving.It is hard when you give your heart to someone..I hate he kept telling me he loved me..I never ever said it first..smh..but I should have known better. I gave him his space,spoke postive in his life, when he needed money or support I was there..but he was not for me. He may not have been into me..but dont make me a something to do. I did not want a relationship with him..just well..lol..and I told him that..he kept going after the other..but I will be ok..I just can't contact him..throwing every thing way he has gotten me..and start new.

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by caligula
if he disappears for 2 months, you're not a "couple."

this isn't an "aqua needs space" issue. this IS a "he's not that into you" scenario?

either way, why are you waiting for him to determine your fate? you want out? leave.

if you choose to stay, you choose the consequences. if this is what you want out of a "relationship," then you get what you so lovingly deserve.

If someone disappears for 2 months, they're gone. It's that simple.

click to expand

We talk work related...like.. I am in between jobs right now..he is the one that places people. So he has all the info on who and what the pay is. Everyone eles he can txt and email..me..I have to come in the office..but he acts like he hates me..I dont want to even go in the office..and thinking of just letting them..let me go..I been through to much with the company..then to deal with him...It's to much for me right now..

Why does he need to say it's done when he's not the one with the problem?

You're the one that needs closure not him, he's not going to cut off his nose to spite his face, meaning he's not going to cut off the woman and discontinue getting sex and companionship with no emotional attachment just because you're unhappy.

You allow him to do this whole yo yo thing with you and he's most likely very comfortable and happy with that arrangement so why should he be the one to break it off? His needs are being met and as long as he's getting what he want and need he's happy, so if you're unhappy then you break it off and let it stay that way, you're an adult and if you feel unappreciated and taken for granted then you owe it to yourself to move on. When the yo yo factor is in effect basically he's non-verbally saying to you that you're an option and not a priority. Go no contact and you'll feel so much better but if you allow him back in again you are saying to him it's okay for him to come in and out of your life and that is exactly what he'll do.

Posted by tiki33
Why does he need to say it's done when he's not the one with the problem?

You're the one that needs closure not him, he's not going to cut off his nose to spite his face, meaning he's not going to cut off the woman and discontinue getting sex and companionship with no emotional attachment just because you're unhappy.

You allow him to do this whole yo yo thing with you and he's most likely very comfortable and happy with that arrangement so why should he be the one to break it off? His needs are being met and as long as he's getting what he want and need he's happy, so if you're unhappy then you break it off and let it stay that way, you're an adult and if you feel unappreciated and taken for granted then you owe it to yourself to move on. When the yo yo factor is in effect basically he's non-verbally saying to you that you're an option and not a priority. Go no contact and you'll feel so much better but if you allow him back in again you are saying to him it's okay for him to come in and out of your life and that is exactly what he'll do.

Everything you said is so true...Men are diffrent creatures..and I know I am better then that..I am cutting the emotions off and keep it moving..thus why I am cleaning my spot out to day..throwing things away..and just not contact him any more. I hate that I settled and now it is what it is. I made it to easy then when I kick against it..he feels like I am being over emotional about it. And have "ISSUES" but this man has never been married and dose not really stay in relationships long. I have to get him out of my system because he is not good for me. Thanks so much for the honest words!!

You inevitably raised your standards...Good for you! Stick to em, you may have another opportunity at this because we Aqua's HATE REJECTION and HATE BEING IGNORED, until he meet you half way it's better to leave him alone.

Posted by tiki33
You inevitably raised your standards...Good for you! Stick to em, you may have another opportunity at this because we Aqua's HATE REJECTION and HATE BEING IGNORED, until he meet you half way it's better to leave him alone.

I am sure.. Now I am in between jobs..and he is our boss who puts us to work..now everyone eles he text or call them about postions..me..I SAID I HAVE TO COME IN AND SEE WHAT THEY HAVE— WTF is that—? SMH..but I am ready to even leave the job..I am a hair stylist..so I may just go into that full time..and walk from the other job..I have to many bad feelings about him and that company..I dont get the short answeres. He is Cool with everyone..but ME?? naw..he acts like he has attitude..then when I go to the office..I have to sit in his office..while he talks on the phone..writes..then 5 min laters...he says something..but looks up every few mins.I just dont have it right now..and I am being real..I dont want to be mean...or have be energy..so I am pulling back from it all..He place 3 people by phone..why I have to come in?? for real??
But yes..I have to get up and get on..

Your post is abit confusing for me. It's difficult to make out whether you want a closure from him or you're looking for something more from his behaviour? Are you a Virgo? You sound upset and disappointed about an "investment" has not been returned in full as well besides the romantic disappoinment you express here in words. Do you feel used? Please don't try to get back what you've invested. The more you try to cling on him, the more you lose out. Also, I get an impression that you two are just fwb or at least the status has never been defined. Did you two ever have a serious talk with one another to define what you have? It just seems a game is being played here for quite long between you two. You said he's your boss so I hope he hasn't tried to touch you inapproriately in public while people're around? If he did that then you're nothing more than an office distraction for him and a fixation that he can't give up just yet. You have to extract yourself from him and stop looking for answers. He won't give you a truthful answer and you know that already. Stop looking to get back the "investment" and try to change this guy.

Posted by exam
Your post is abit confusing for me. It's difficult to make out whether you want a closure from him or you're looking for something more from his behaviour? Are you a Virgo? You sound upset and disappointed about an "investment" has not been returned in full as well besides the romantic disappoinment you express here in words. Do you feel used? Please don't try to get back what you've invested. The more you try to cling on him, the more you lose out. Also, I get an impression that you two are just fwb or at least the status has never been defined. Did you two ever have a serious talk with one another to define what you have? It just seems a game is being played here for quite long between you two. You said he's your boss so I hope he hasn't tried to touch you inapproriately in public while people're around? If he did that then you're nothing more than an office distraction for him and a fixation that he can't give up just yet. You have to extract yourself from him and stop looking for answers. He won't give you a truthful answer and you know that already. Stop looking to get back the "investment" and try to change this guy.

I was looking for a closure I guess I should have been answereing. YES I AM A VIRGO..lol..and mabye ya I did exspect more from what Invested...I gave alot and probley should not have. No the FWB..I was thinking the same things and we did talk about it. He told me He loved me. He asked me was I truley in love with him and I said yes are you truley in love with me? He said since the beggining and I have not changed from that. I asked him what is he scared of in refence to us he said he is not scared but I have to understand he is who he is and he needs me there for him. I said he dose not show me he loves me he tells me hold on boo? WHAT? Now as far as him being my boss..we never ever worked in the same town or building so we never saw each other unless asked to come to the office. And I am professsional about it. He tells me he is my "MAN" and I did bring the convo up..thus the answere above. I was more angery at myself I guess becase I need to be on my square and not have put emotions in it. But this has been going off and on for 2 1/2 years. I did not feel I was changing him..dose it seem like it? But either way I learned more about ME in this if nothing eles..and I need to act on what I learned.

Okay.. surprised that no one said this yet..because I've found this is an aqua man thing. and I've actually had this same thing happen to me similarly...the guy ended up being a really good friend in the end, but we didn't work because of the same problem ( i kept feeling a conflicting idea of needs,etc)

Bottom line, like you already know, you don't deserve to be treated in that fashion...I'm sure he knows to..and you know that he knows is that he does it because he can.

If you feel emotionally done, then so be it...but I'm just giving you the heads up...Expect this scenario to come into play...expect him to come back genuinely hurt at you not talking to him anymore or moving on, that he's always cared about you and why didn't you wait for him and all that mess and it will throw you for a loop.

Not saying it isn't true, but for real, he shouldn't have done things like that to people he cares about in the first place. He needs to be accountable for his actions, just like you should be for yours.

I think you're also on the right track with changing jobs( at least in my opinion), the fact that he's with you, AND the boss means that he's trying to be extra careful in his dealings with you..to the point that it may 'seem' like he hates you...because, he doesn't want it to come back that he's having a relationship with one of his employees. In your perspective, considering your job trade, wouldn't that make it just 'look bad'. REAL bad if people knew ya'll were together?

I know I'm giving conflicting messages...there's a very good chance that he's one of those really reserved aqua types where he needs to compartmentalize things in order to function...and that he has a problem expressing what he feels. Point blanke, he may have a hard time trying to understand that after he told you were a couple that you keep bringin the subject up again.

But really this is all speculation on my part..it's hard to try to make inferences on people with no basis(his chart, both of your charts._...I'm talking from my experience(with dating an aqua man off and on for three years) and speculating his(your aqua)actions on his perspective.

Posted by TheBeautifulStruggle
Okay.. surprised that no one said this yet..because I've found this is an aqua man thing. and I've actually had this same thing happen to me similarly...the guy ended up being a really good friend in the end, but we didn't work because of the same problem ( i kept feeling a conflicting idea of needs,etc)

Bottom line, like you already know, you don't deserve to be treated in that fashion...I'm sure he knows to..and you know that he knows is that he does it because he can.

If you feel emotionally done, then so be it...but I'm just giving you the heads up...Expect this scenario to come into play...expect him to come back genuinely hurt at you not talking to him anymore or moving on, that he's always cared about you and why didn't you wait for him and all that mess and it will throw you for a loop.

Not saying it isn't true, but for real, he shouldn't have done things like that to people he cares about in the first place. He needs to be accountable for his actions, just like you should be for yours.

I think you're also on the right track with changing jobs( at least in my opinion), the fact that he's with you, AND the boss means that he's trying to be extra careful in his dealings with you..to the point that it may 'seem' like he hates you...because, he doesn't want it to come back that he's having a relationship with one of his employees. In your perspective, considering your job trade, wouldn't that make it just 'look bad'. REAL bad if people knew ya'll were together?

I know I'm giving conflicting messages...there's a very good chance that he's one of those really reserved aqua types where he needs to compartmentalize things in order to function...and that he has a problem expressing what he feels. Point blanke, he may have a hard time trying to understand that after he told you were a couple that you keep bringin the subject up again.

But really this is all speculation on my part..it's hard to try to make inferences on people with no basis(his chart, both of your charts._...I'm talking from my experience(with dating an aqua man off and on for three years) and speculating his(your aqua)actions on his perspective.

He is born Jan 23 and I am born Sep6th. I dont have his chart but I have mine. I guess it is like the other poster said. I did invest..my heart, time, respect, money, everything..and to yeild 30

It all hurts...He kept telling me I love you..I will always love you..but yet his actions did not match up. Mine did. I gave him his space..but mabye he was not into me..but why tell someone you love them? I was cool with just getting a lil LOL.and keep it moving..but he said WE did not say that what WE wanted..and feeling got involved..People do notice he is harder on me then other people..and I dont do anything to provke him. He just talke hard at me...out the blue for nothing..and then tells me I take things so personal. He is born Jan 23..I am Sep 6th. I know he will come back around..how he dose it..is by asking me a work related questiong..throws in a lol..then goes in on "So what you and your man doing" I get anoid with it..and I am now..but yet he tell me he is my man..smh..It was very confusing..and I know one thing about virgos..we love HARD..we take alot to open up..but when we do..we love hard..and I am hurt..I really am..and I dont think I can work with him..talk to him..or see him..just cant.

Sorry about the spelling..lol..sleep and lap top messing up!