Are Aries manipulative?...

In general, would an aries man get into a lot of detailed discussion about a future with someone if they were only looking to have some fun? We've talked about alot of stuff, like having our kids on the same weekends so we can spend time together, to me running the finances cause he's horrible at it, buying a new couch and bed big enough for both of us, just a bunch of stuff like that. He says he loves me and can't wait to spend his life with me, but as I've already posted on here, he is currently getting out of a long relationship with the mother of his 2 children. I've already been told how horrible I am and that karma will get me, so please no nasty comments, I am completely aware of the situation I am in. Haven't really heard from him much in the past couple of weeks since he told her he was moving out. She agreed they would not be together if it weren't for the kids and all she was concerned about was how to pay the bills. All he said to me was that he still loved me and needed to figure his life out and to bare with him for now please. Two weeks seems like an eternity to me, especially since I have no idea what's going on, but in reality for him it's probablly not. I'm trying to just have faith and believe in what he has been telling me but the more time passes the more anxious I get. I just have a hard time beleiving that he would bother saying so many things about a future with me and telling me he loved me if it was all just to have a summer fling. He could easily pick up any chick he wanted if all he wanted was sex. I'm thinking about texting him but don't want to push him any farther away. He works for a moving company too and since we have 2 universities in town which both start in a couple of weeks, he's probablly extremely busy as he's a workaholic anyway. He's always been very straighforward with me so I have no reason to doubt him other than the situation lends itself to that I guess. We have alot of mutual friends so I do know his situation at home is not good, he did not feed me bullshit on that. He's always asked for me not to give up on him and a few weeks ago he thought I was tired of waiting so I really scared him. I'm trying not to give up now but I don't want him to give up on me either. Not sure what my next move should be...leave him be for a couple of more weeks or see how he's doing? I'm just looking for some honest input on typical aries behaviour in this kind of situation, not an attack on me or him thanks

You sure ask a lot of questions about this dude...

as an aries male i would never mislead a girl into thinking we have a future together when we dont. us aries dont like to waste time. we won't go out of our way to get stuck in a situation we dont wanna be in. if we're there with you, that means we wanna be there. with us it's usually all or nothing. its no use worrying about it cuz only time will tell if he's being genuine or not. in the meantime just watch his ass like a hawk to see if his actions are actually consistent with his words.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
You sure ask a lot of questions about this dude...

Just trying to figure this guy out a little since I've been left in the dark as to what is going on at home with him. He's said a few times this summer that he shouldn't have dragged me into this mess and should get his butter together first. I chose to get into it, he didn't drag me but I think he is now realizing that this really is what he wants and in order to make it happen he has a lot of things to take care of first and doesn't want me in the middle of it. He said he would not drag me through the mud and by shutting off all contact for the time being that is maybe what he is trying to do. The less I know the better in case our friends start questioning me, because they will as soon as one of them gets wind that they are splitting up. They've all known we've both had a crush on each other for a while so I'll be the first person they'll look to and if I don't know anything about the split then I don't have to lie...atleast that's what I hope is going on. I've met and dated a few bullbutters in my day but I've never once gotten that feeling from him. It's just the not knowing that is making me anxious and paranoid and I start filling in the blanks myself with the most awful possibilities

My honest opinion is that any guy is capable of manipulation that includes Aries men, I had it done to me by one. based on what i read I would move on, if it were really over between he and his ex you would have been together or maybe not but he wouldnt still be attached to someone if he really didnt want to be and thats any guy. Dont ever wait on any man especailly one who cant resepect the mother of his children enough to be honest with her and not cheat on her. YOu arent any diff than this woman, what if he turns around and does the same things when he finally shows back up for your pseudo relationship. Like really girl what can you expect from this dude? he is disrespecting you, his children, their mother and himself, why do you want to be linked with someone like that?

Posted by bkbella86
My honest opinion is that any guy is capable of manipulation that includes Aries men, I had it done to me by one. based on what i read I would move on, if it were really over between he and his ex you would have been together or maybe not but he wouldnt still be attached to someone if he really didnt want to be and thats any guy. Dont ever wait on any man especailly one who cant resepect the mother of his children enough to be honest with her and not cheat on her. YOu arent any diff than this woman, what if he turns around and does the same things when he finally shows back up for your pseudo relationship. Like really girl what can you expect from this dude? he is disrespecting you, his children, their mother and himself, why do you want to be linked with someone like that?

The only thing keeping him there is his kids but that is never a reason for 2 people to stay together, I've been there so I know. Was married to a man I was not in love with, got married very young, and we have 2 boys together. I left after 8 years and he remarried 2 years later and is happy. I've seen more people stay together miserably for years because they have kids together and they think that somehow they are doing the kids a favor. I personally would want my kids to grow up in a home full of love, not one where Daddy sleeps on the couch and is never home and they show no affection to each other. What kind of healthy relationship do they hope to have as adults if that is all they know? I know what he is doing with me is not honest, we both know that, but it is what it is now and we can't take it back. I don't beleive that once a cheater, always a cheater like some people do. Everyone makes mistakes and bad choices. He's really struggled with this for the last few months and has said several times that he needs to get his act together first and he didn't want to hurt me. I think the thought that he might lose me and her asking him what is going on with him finally have him the push he needed to finally leave an unhappy situation. He's already told me he's not doing this for me, I'm just the thing he gets to look forward to when it's all said and done. I've never asked him to leave her but knew that it had to happen eventually or we had to end it and I was to that point a few weeks ago which I think is what has prompted this sudden action from him. I wasn't really as

I understand all of that, but it wont change my stance on things. I think that if a man can cheat on his wife then yes he will be capable of cheating on you his soon to be gf. Again when a married man cheats on his wife then he cheats on his children too the whole family. not a good look. and he obvioulsy isnt that sure about leaving her because he is still there. what are you waiting for?

Also the reason why you haven't heard from him is because you have become super needy and now there is pressure In the air and that took the fun out of what you guys were doing. You can't speak on the reasons he is still with his gf because you are not him, you only know what he is telling you which sounds like a bunch of bs to me. If he were a quality man he would have never pursued you while still being attached to the mother of his children. He built with this woman for 19 years and threw it away in a heartbeat also how do you know you are the only one Who he is heating on her with? You are no diff and you have already you do respect your self or his kids.

* you have already proven you don't respect yourself of his children is what I meant to say

Posted by bkbella86
I think that if a man can cheat on his wife then yes he will be capable of cheating on you his soon to be gf.

This has been going on forever. Why the hell don't bitches learn this already??

Seriously. Guys aren't exactly prone to changing themselves.

Wow!

I don't even have words for this. It's just messy all the way around. This actually kind of saddens me because of all the people in the world what is sooo sexy about someone that is taken with kids. The only reason they probably breaking up is because she knows the Aries dude is a dog and is/was messing around on her. That's just too much stress.

Posted by xxnightbynight

Posted by dante
as an aries male i would never mislead a girl into thinking we have a future together when we dont. us aries dont like to waste time. we won't go out of our way to get stuck in a situation we dont wanna be in. if we're there with you, that means we wanna be there. with us it's usually all or nothing. its no use worrying about it cuz only time will tell if he's being genuine or not. in the meantime just watch his ass like a hawk to see if his actions are actually consistent with his words.

^^This. -

In the case of an Aries: Actions speak louder than words. - (It should be like this for all signs... for all people... but it's not. And I'm just beginning to realize this.) But for the most part... Aries mean what they say, and say what they mean.

click to expand

Thank you for actually answering my question without judgements! 🙂

You mentioned he can just pick up any woman at random; you may just be an easy choice to keep as a steady side woman, not bashing just a perspective. Two weeks if he is not in an area without communication service is actually enough to make you consider the possibility that this is not what you think it is.I would not pursue it; but I don't know the overall norm. Were you there for this conversation about him no longer being with the woman? Does she know about you? Are there other women he is involved with? I have these questions about this post but they are essentially irrelevant:

Focus on what you have outside of this situation. If a man is determined to be with you he will seek you out. Do what is best for you right now and put your energy into your kids

To answer it broadly ANY man can feed you lines for sex/talk about the future and not come through. Even IF he does leave you have to figure out what type of relationship this is, this forum can not do it for you.

Posted by Flavia
To answer it broadly ANY man can feed you lines for sex/talk about the future and not come through. Even IF he does leave you have to figure out what type of relationship this is, this forum can not do it for you.

THIS ^^^^^^

OP, let's just say what he said is true, but he would sure have the comforts of living with you and your children. Like the ex-gf told him, she needs bills paid so that means he has to pay child support and may have to take care of her so that leaves him with little or nothing. So yes let's leach of you Ms OP and the comforts of your home with your children. Like Dante said??_.WATCH HIS ASS LIKE A HAWK.

well i don't know what kind of things my aries ex husband said to the woman he had an affair with but 6 years after, when i finally kicked him out, he went back to her. he wasn't the kind to bullshit anyone but at the end of the day, we had two kids together and his loyalty was always gonna be with us first.

i kind of respect his new partner too (also aries). when he ended it, she left him alone. mind you, we had left the country so she didn't have much choice. they're happy now and so am i, so all's well that ends well as shakespeare said.

To the OP I think you already know deep down what has happened.

Posted by Love366
OP, let's just say what he said is true, but he would sure have the comforts of living with you and your children. Like the ex-gf told him, she needs bills paid so that means he has to pay child support and may have to take care of her so that leaves him with little or nothing. So yes let's leach of you Ms OP and the comforts of your home with your children. Like Dante said??_.WATCH HIS ASS LIKE A HAWK.

I never said anything about him living with me and my children and leaching off of us. I'm a single parent who works 2 jobs so that ain't happening, I never said that, that's what you assume. My kids have not met him and I don't plan on letting him for a very long time. In 6 years no one I have ever dated has met them since it has never gone on long enough for me to allow that to happen. I keep my kids out of my personal life.

The plan is for them to sell the house and pay off their debts so they can both have a fresh start. She has already moved out and in with her parents, which is where they lived up until a few years ago anyway and the kids still mostly stayed there. He can't afford to keep the house so they will sell it and he is getting an apartment. She makes way more money than he does, so other than child support, he won't have to support her financially. Our laws are different here in Canada, no parent is made to suffer undue hardship to support the other as long as the children are properly provided for. I have no child support order with my ex, we split most things like daycare and school stuff and other than that we both make about the same so we both support our kids equally and have 50/50 split custody. I'm not sure what they're custody agreement will be but I'm sure they will do whatever works best for them. He is not a deadbeat that's for sure. He works hard for what he has and has always been there for them. We talked about maybe moving in together in a year's time, maybe, depending on how things go. We are in no hurry and want to do this right. I know what we have done is not very smart or honest, but we can't take it back now and want to be smart about it for everyone involved. I have seen too many people move out of one house and into another only for that relationship to end a few months later and then they are moving again. Some people just can't be on their own and drag their kids around to whoever they

they happen to be sleeping with this month...I'm not one of those people, regardless of what you all think of me. I am very independent, own my own home and will never allow anyone to park their ass on my couch for nothing. It's not up to me to get him through this, he will do it on his own and I will be there if he needs me, but not financially, only for emotional support.

He is not walking out on his kids, he is simply choosing not to live with their mother anymore who he does not love. And I do not believe she loves him either, but I can speak for her. He simply wants a chance to be happy, as I did when I left my husband 6 years ago. My family is fine and happy and I believe his will be too. It doesn't always have to be nasty when 2 people split, but I guess that's the norm or what is expected. People are always amazed at how well me and my ex get along, why bother fighting. I just didn't love him anymore, simple as that. Same goes for Mr. Aries. Regardless of the outcome, my only wish is for him and his kids to be happy, with or without me. And she deserves to be with someone who will make her happy and will actually love her, not just someone to help with the kids and finances. They are only 32, life is way to short to live like that...

Since you know him so well and his situation with his ex and children why not just trust what he tells you? How come you don't trust him?

Posted by Love366
Since you know him so well and his situation with his ex and children why not just trust what he tells you? How come you don't trust him?

I never said I didn't...just curious what other Aries may or may not do in the same situation.

Oh OK....got ya. I hope everything works out.

You know you don't trust him otherwise you wouldn't have made this thread and the other thread pretty much asking the same thing just a diff title.