Aries Guy Hard to figure out

SO, I met this guy on E harmony and we emailed back and forth a bit then he disappeared, so I thought it was a total scam, canceled my subscription due to all weirdos etc... when about a month later I was on Tinder and the same guy popped up. I slide right and then a few minutes later I get a message from that guy saying how he thought it was me from E harmony etc.. and that his membership got cxld so he is glad he found me on here, he gave me his number and said "here's my number that way we don't run into this problem again", I responded and gave him mu number and within seconds the guy was texting me. I'm a Sag so I text back but it wasn't anything over the top or eager then the guy goes MIA for a few days. About three days later he texts me again asking what I am doing, I respond telling him I'm reading a book just finished a run, we start actually having a conversation and then he once again goes MIA. I was and am so puzzled by this (it's kind of working in his favor, because now I'm intrigued by this actions, normally I could care less). He then texts me a few days later, I respond. He is being flirty etc.. I told him I was going out and he said have fun, later that night he text to see how my night was, I responded a little tipsy by that time and he proceeds to tell me how pretty I am and how he would have liked to meet up but I had plans then he asked me out on a date. I said ok and thought the conversation was going good, we had good banter, he is funny etc... he text me the next day asking about my day, I responded then didn't hear anything from him for 2 day, so I text him asking about his day, he responded hours later but has yet to make a date for our date... it's just so weird... I normally would not care about any of this, but his actions are so inconsistent that I have no idea whats going on, which then causes me to become curious and figure it out, because us Sags are the so inquisitive, plus the guy is hot. I have never dated an Aries, though my best friend is an Aries I've never dated her so have no idea if this is normal or if the guy is just playing games. I'd appreciate the advice.

LOL I'm not really worried about him being on the sites, because I was too. And I'm just dating, if I find something cool, if I don't that's cool too. If I make a new friend that's okay with me too. I just don't understand his behavior, I mean if you wanna hang out then lets hang out, if you don't then don't say that you do... It's confusing, but it's definitely attracting me to him, because I don't like overly eager men, but it would be nice to know if he is actually interested in me or just playing around.

WWWrunner88, Imagine someone else wrote your scenario with this dude, how would it look to you? what advice would you give that person?

lol

You have no idea, huh? Are you new?

You are one of many options to him. Don't feel like a special snowflake because he asked about your day and casually threw it out there to go on a date without making an actual date.

You are an option. If you're okay of being one of many girls he's lined up to keep him company at his beck and call, by all means, continue to be "intrigued" by his nonsense.

However, if you do not want to be one of many bitches he keeps around, then you best move along. There is nothing to "figure out." Your lady bits are just all tingly because some guy gave you attention and that blurs common sense/logic with a lot of women.


And the point about him having these two accounts is legit. Tindr is a hook up app, whether people want to believe it or not. A lot of dating sites/apps are largely used as hook up resources under the guise of "dating." Because that's what people are stupidly into when it comes to "dating." Just hooking up and moving along. The generation of "options" is polluting the dating pool and making it hard to take anyone seriously.

+1 to everything you said. I wouldn't wait around for this one. Be thankful you're not like the rest of the ladies on this forum who have actually developed a texting relationship , Textationship! (thanks Rockyroadicecream), but haven't actually met up or have only met up a couple of times and are dying to get it on. You haven't actually wasted too much time and energy on him and hes left your ego intact so its not on the line in wanting to see him again because you know he has feelings for you too.

you're also getting set up to chase him. I would back off a lot and be a little coy if you decide you your going to continue to respond to him. Hes not made effort to actually meet up and hes an aries, don't see a good outcome unless he takes the reigns.

thanks for the feedback @rockyroadicecream I am actually very new to dating. I was in a very serious relationship so yes this is new for me and I was having trouble understanding this guy's behavior. My "lady bits did not get tingled by a little bit of attention" taking how I am a pretty attractive, smart and successful woman, what tingled my lady bits was the actual lack of attention he was giving me. I'm not arrogant or anything but most guys smother me and it totally turns me off, so this guy's behavior intrigued me, because he acted different than what I am accustom to. I mean he is just plain weird! Around 2pm on Wed the guy asked me out to go to a Christmas Eve party I agreed and then he totally flaked out, didn't even cancel just never text me again after inviting me, asking where I lived and saying how fun this would be etc... it's just weird and plain rude in my opinion. I didn't text him back or anything after all of this. I'm just confused by his actions, if you wanna go on date then lets go on a date, but don't invite me somewhere than flake out. I honestly hopes he doesn't have the nerve to ask me out again, because I will be sure to state just that. In a way I think he is intimidated by me, he makes weird comments at time,but whatever. All I know if this is how Aries are then I will be staying very far away from them, they are way too weird and inconsistent for me..

WWRunner88,

This is a common "tactic" taught in several seduction communities. You find the girl very attractive so you play games... A big one is no show on a date or "bail" last minute, she freaks out then she chases you endlessly wanting to know whats up, guys online do this and then sleep with several women at a time its called "spinning plates" the women with the lowest self esteem (makes the perfect bait) fall for this and chances are their are several women who do. Hes expecting an angry text "where are you" etc. The emotion they have techniques to channel into attraction. If he really likes you and you don't contact him it will really, really bother him. WWRunner, its a cold, cruel dating world if a guy is really into you and showing you lots of attention, then he is genuinely interested. Guys who know how to play games know you are getting it or at least think that so they play hard to get, players at least, you should give the nice guys a chance, they are rare.

Ah, that'd explain it.

The dating pool is ridiculous and I can see how it'd be a bit of a shock to those who have been out of it for awhile.

There's nothing to be confused by, really. He's being rude and inconsiderate. That's all there is to it. Confused as to WHY? Yeah, I get that. People who are so self absorbed and behave so strangely can lead you to wonder why, but it all still boils down to the fact that they're treating you like crap and you need to recategorize who they are in your life, whether it be acquaintance, just a friend, or someone you drop like a bad habit.

This isn't an Aries thing or an astrology thing. It's an "immature, selfish guy" thing. How old is this guy anyway? ...do you live in California? People do this all the time here. :/

I stopped reading after you said "so I met this guy on e harmony". That right there says it all
-_____________________________-. geeze.

Posted by CocoKat
WWRunner88,

This is a common "tactic" taught in several seduction communities. You find the girl very attractive so you play games... A big one is no show on a date or "bail" last minute, she freaks out then she chases you endlessly wanting to know whats up, guys online do this and then sleep with several women at a time its called "spinning plates" the women with the lowest self esteem (makes the perfect bait) fall for this and chances are their are several women who do. Hes expecting an angry text "where are you" etc. The emotion they have techniques to channel into attraction. If he really likes you and you don't contact him it will really, really bother him. WWRunner, its a cold, cruel dating world if a guy is really into you and showing you lots of attention, then he is genuinely interested. Guys who know how to play games know you are getting it or at least think that so they play hard to get, players at least, you should give the nice guys a chance, they are rare.

I feel sick to my stomach

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Ah, that'd explain it.

The dating pool is ridiculous and I can see how it'd be a bit of a shock to those who have been out of it for awhile.

There's nothing to be confused by, really. He's being rude and inconsiderate. That's all there is to it. Confused as to WHY? Yeah, I get that. People who are so self absorbed and behave so strangely can lead you to wonder why, but it all still boils down to the fact that they're treating you like crap and you need to recategorize who they are in your life, whether it be acquaintance, just a friend, or someone you drop like a bad habit.

This isn't an Aries thing or an astrology thing. It's an "immature, selfish guy" thing. How old is this guy anyway? ...do you live in California? People do this all the time here. :/

Yeah I second that about California 😢

If he hasn't set a date then it's not a date and it's not happening.

Unfortunately, what the other members have written is true in my experience and opinion. There are many guys out there who are not serious about meeting someone with a view for longer term, they are interested in playing about and having text relationships etc. There's nothing wrong with that but you just need to weed out the crap if that's not what you want too. Your curiosity peaks because he's not making it easy and he is hiding or not being clear with his intentions.

To me it seems like he is a normal guy having a relatively busy life at the moment who also wishes to have a girlfriend.
You on the other hand seem like you want to another him, I don't know why you sags are into aries so much, but when I was a virgin and a sag was hitting on me it was repulsive, but then again I knew her ex boyfriend very well and I also was a virgin. But still don't assert yourself let him be the man.
Again he's not playing games, the last thing I would want is to play games, like school doesn't do it enough.

Oh just read the rest of the thread. Bro, since you're new to dating, the hell with "group date" that's way too official, first date is you grab coffee have a conversation maybe go to a museum or something.

Yes I'll admit I go on dating websites when I feel like I want to bone someone new, yes I will look for insecure/low self esteem girls, because less effort is needed, even though even less in a bar would be needed, but then again it's usually guys who are pretty busy, not busy as an excuse.

Then the drill goes if she is actually hot smart then I would date her, if she is not hot/pretty/cute/beautiful then you either do fwb and if she doesn't agree to that, some guys will go as far as to pretend to "give it a try" giving a try meaning you're trying to see how the relationship would go, while receiving all the physical benefits.

I'll recommend you do this, delete his number first of all, because you'd be a moron to keep it, he is way too unreliable aries or not, he clearly has some ulterior goals.
(It could also be he is an insecure virgin who never had a girlfriend, so the excitement of getting someone almost out on a date in his car that he doesn't have is so exciting, he has so much power over you!!)
But hopefully he is not 12 years old, so, next order of business, idk what you look like, but your best bet in finding a guy is college or some outdoor activities, you need to have visual value, we men are like crows we like shiny whether it's a golden chain or a piece of old foil from a sandwich, you have to look gorgeous groomed in shape shiny motioned legs plucked eye brows mascara on eye lashes, light eye shadows, good lipstick.
Stylish wardrobe, nice set of perfume, and most importantly be in shape. All these things I just mentioned are not for the guys, they are for you, you might say that you are okay the way you are - no, until you learn how to love yourself, nobody else will love you.

If you are gorgeous and thin or at least in some shape and good wardrobe then just make an effort in meeting guys in real. Do not give into sex no matter what for at least some time, because once we get it it's just downhill from there, unless were almost early at least in love.


Why? Simple.
When we have axe with somebody who we just met, we have sex, after orgasm I usually think, dude the hell did you just do, I feel guilty about being so stupid boning some girl I couldn't care less about and now I need her to leave because I want to chill and

...chill and I don't want her around.

Different scenario is when you two are lovebirds cuddling with Netflix and she just pulls his pants down and takes control, then you get steamy boning that ends with nothing but mental pleasure and very good night sleep.

Basically look fabulous any time you take a selfie or leave your house, don't be lazy, and do not give it to anyone no matter what kind of car they drive, job they have, school they are in, or restaurant he'll take you.

You could do the hook up way, it could work too if you're cool with it, but same things apply, it could actually be to your benefit, you'd get to know what you've missed out on.

I actually met my ex online, on a hookup all they used to have called who's here, we accidentally stroke up a convo, turned out she's from where I'm from, we got super cool together and then exchanged phone numbers, right after few texts she insisted we skyped just to see if I was real, makes sense now, she was hot enough for me to go through with it and skype her, like I was so into her that I would not pu??y out of it. It was like a mini first date in a way. She told me about some guy she fell inlove with on Facebook to later find out he was fake. So I mean if you have his number, insist on facetiming or skyping.

Thanks again for the feedback. Like I said i was just very curious with his behavior taking he's 34 and I'm 33. I mean I got on those sites because my career is grueling and I rarely have time to just go meet a friend for a drink, much less try to date at the bar scene etc... I had just moved to Texas so have very few friends because most people my age who'd I normally hang out with are my employees, so I can't do that, so thought this would be easier, I could make friends and possibly date, but this guy totally confused me. Because like I said I'm not arrogant but I think I'm attractive, smart funny and most all genuinely nice and I thought our conversationsite were going well. I was kinda weary that he asked me to party for out first date, but played it cool thinking that hey maybe that's normal.we text a bit since he flaked out, and I acknowledged his behavior, but he played coy and said something along the page that I enjoy a cat and mouse game to which I respond um no I do not, I think you are the person who enjoy that game and I will not play that. I have not text him back. I just feel like wow how much of a jerk can he be, he didn't even apologize. In away I think the guy is either intimated by me or lying about something. He made a comment once about the area I lived in calling me fancy, then about my Mercedes and when I mention work he goes silent which makes me thin he doesn't have a job or something anyhow I'm glad he stood me up, I wouldn't like someone like that anyway, bad the thing is there seems to be a lot of guys like this out there and that sucks!

Oh yeah he's definitely insecure then, why would he call it "fancy" that's just so pitiful, anyway you wrecked his ego, because he's an idiot. You do need to find people of your own rank so to speak, it wouldn't be a problem in New York, but Texas I have no idea. Try plenty of fish, could be some nice people there. Okcupid don't even go there, if you don't pay them and block their adds they delete your account without explanation.

Word of advise, try to talk to everyone, I found when I was on, and I messaged a girl I would actually date, she would check out my profile and never reply.
Don't wait for a witty super fully message to reply, it's very hard and awkward to come up with something original lot knowing the person. Don't post pics of cleavage because then you'll attract perverts, post modest pictures.
Then when you find someone potential, make sure to insist on skype of facetime

Don't be intrigued by the disappearing act...have you seen the movie bridesmaids? He sounds like the guy who numbers his,girls....and the inconsistency is because you are not the only option. When an Aries is interested in you, I promise you'll know without a doubt

Posted by ca79
Don't be intrigued by the disappearing act...have you seen the movie bridesmaids? He sounds like the guy who numbers his,girls....and the inconsistency is because you are not the only option. When an Aries is interested in you, I promise you'll know without a doubt

+1

And BAR scene? Jesus, you're just hitting up all the wrong places, OP.

If you insist on a bar scene, be prepared of more of the same behavior you've just witnessed. If your career is making you too busy, I don't understand why you're attempting. Focus on career and yourself for the time being. If anything is meant to happen, it will. Stop looking for it.

Yes, I know that's why she's doing it. But it's no different than actual dating. You still have to find time to meet up and go out.

It begs the question- if you're too busy to date, what makes you think you aren't too busy for a relationship?

Or are we just concerned about the actually meeting people bit? That part is whatever to me because I've always been of the mindset of "it'll happen when it happens." When you go looking for it is when you get the most headaches and time wasted, though you DO learn from those experiences. Nevermind when it comes to online dating, it's harder to weed out weirdos, guys with the intent of actually just wanting to hook up, etc. IRL, it can be just as tricky, but at least you can physically pick up on those vibes. Online, it just makes one more obstacle to get around when weeding out the losers from the guys with true intent, tbh.

Just to make things clear, I just moved to a new city have very few friends and am extremely busy with my career as its demanding. There is no reason for me to place me entire focus on my career because I'm exactly where is like to be professionally and need to actually make time for my personal life. I actually ended up going on a date with this guy after he apologized and explained that he backed off because he is not accustom to the dating scene either. Our date was actually pretty great and since then he has made an effort. Of course I'm still extremely busy so am trying to make as much time as I can, because I like the guy

I'm going to make as much time as i can as long as he continues to put forth the effort. I mean I feel like I'm the woman, so he should probably court me and give me a reason to be interested other than the fact that he is attractive. I'm not really clingy or emotional, but he seems to be a "feeler" which is totally cool, but I think he should continue to be consistent and show interest taking how he's already stood me up once and made things questionable. As long as he continues doing the right things I'll continue to make time. I'm a sagittarius so the fact that I'm making time is kinda a big deal to me, the fact that he has my attention is a big deal. It's rare,I'm doing any of these things, but he pushes me out of my comfort zone and I'm enjoying it.

I'm going to make as much time as i can as long as he continues to put forth the effort. I mean I feel like I'm the woman, so he should probably court me and give me a reason to be interested other than the fact that he is attractive. I'm not really clingy or emotional, but he seems to be a "feeler" which is totally cool, but I think he should continue to be consistent and show interest taking how he's already stood me up once and made things questionable. As long as he continues doing the right things I'll continue to make time. I'm a sagittarius so the fact that I'm making time is kinda a big deal to me, the fact that he has my attention is a big deal. It's rare,I'm doing any of these things, but he pushes me out of my comfort zone and I'm enjoying it.

Posted by WWRunner88
I'm going to make as much time as i can as long as he continues to put forth the effort. I mean I feel like I'm the woman, so he should probably court me and give me a reason to be interested other than the fact that he is attractive. I'm not really clingy or emotional, but he seems to be a "feeler" which is totally cool, but I think he should continue to be consistent and show interest taking how he's already stood me up once and made things questionable. As long as he continues doing the right things I'll continue to make time. I'm a sagittarius so the fact that I'm making time is kinda a big deal to me, the fact that he has my attention is a big deal. It's rare,I'm doing any of these things, but he pushes me out of my comfort zone and I'm enjoying it.

Im happy for you hes stepping up to the plate and beginning to be consistant. I would not forget the being stood up though, I would keep that in mind before I jumped into anything physical. Courting, I like that word...lol, and he should, a requirement!