Pisces_Dream
@Pisces_Dream
17 Years1,000+ PostsPisces
Comments: 0 · Posts: 1685 · Topics: 110
Baffled by Aries
lol ... another one !!!!!!
Posted by DetailsPlease
What don't you get?
I don't get why he would continue to want to see me if he was not on the same page a few weeks ago when we had the discussion.
he sees you as a pushover and at this point, he's probably just waiting for you to give into his self-serving wishes. he thinks you're emotionally weak. don't be swayed by this. walk away. keep your dignity.
i dunno, i just can't really see the point in encouraging the op to pursue this guy any further because he's already sorta disrespected her by saying "Look, if I wanted to be exculisve with you, I would've taken down my profile''. To me, that sounds like a red flag...like should we really be encouarging this op to get into a relationship with this guy? lol
i dunno. you think there's still hope? 😢
i can't really tell.
i dunno. you think there's still hope? 😢
i can't really tell.
Posted by MysticRamPosted by Pisces_Dream
I had been seeing this Aries since first of December. We had been getting along great, and the sex was mind-blowing fun and exciting. Well we met on a dating site. I had been getting hits still, and I had been telling the other guys that I was kinda dating someone. I was not in an exclusive relationship. A few weeks ago, I had the conversation with Aries that I really am looking for more of a long-term committed relationship. I thought he understood this and he wanted to see me some more. So the topic came up again. I have kept myself on the dating site because he has kept himself on the dating site. We had been seeing each other every week when we had free time. In his relationship status it shows we were both looking for long-term.
So I had the talk again to see if we are on the same page. He said he would have taken his profile off if he wanted to be exclusive. I am so sad. So I told him no matter how great the chemistry we have, I think it would be best if we stopped seeing each other.
I don't get it. 😢
PD
PD - Why did you give up? It had only been two months. If the chemistry was so amazing...why not let things be, set some boundaries, and show him what's up? Pisces and Aries are both very vulnerable signs so I believe it takes both to step out on that ledge if they feel its worth the leap...
I am only going off the details you provided above. Is there more to this story?click to expand
Well I was okay with casual for a minute, but really have concluded I can do casual for a certain amount than I developed feelings for him. I really begin to like him a lot more than casual. So it is not that the relation went bad, it was I started wanting more. It was never my intention to start that way it is just how it goes. I really want a long-term relationship and I don't want to be the casual girlfriend. I honestly think it has a lot to do with his work because he is getting really busy working on a huge project. We get along great. I just wanted us to be more exclusive. I am kind of territorial with my man. I don't want to share. He is not seeing anyone else but me, but he could not promise exlusivity. So I appreciate his honesty, but I had to stop seeing him because I want what I want and there is no compromising that.
PD
Posted by Jesse91
he sees you as a pushover and at this point, he's probably just waiting for you to give into his self-serving wishes. he thinks you're emotionally weak. don't be swayed by this. walk away. keep your dignity.
That is an interesting point of view Jesse. I don't think I am emotionally weak, because I did not compromise my own needs and desires. I was honest and so was he. If I continue to allow the relation to go on as such, than I would be weak and disrespectful of my own feelings and allow him to walk all over me. So am I emo? Absolutely ...I am a pisces. *sigh* Am I weak? I don't consider myself weak ....I got that Aries moon. 😉 I am sometimes stubborn and bold headed.
We get along great, the sex is great, and we really enjoy each other's company. I just don't want to be living a lie or getting too much more involved and than find out 6 months down the road he felt and thought this way. It is better to end it now. Believe me hard to do....but I had to do it. 😢
So there you have it. Yes, P-Angel has watched my roller coaster love affairs (not all sex affairs as she believes) unfold and she has her opinions about them. Not always truthful but they are her opinions.
Believe me ....I did not plan on liking him as much as I did.
PD
Posted by DetailsPleasePosted by Pisces_Dream
A few weeks ago, I had the conversation with Aries that I really am looking for more of a long-term committed relationship. I thought he understood this and he wanted to see me some more.
What made you think this? Did he agree or not agree to a long-term committed relationship?
click to expand
Well in his profile where we met ....he is stated to wanting long-term connection as I have on my status. The long intimate talks, the regular time together. We were spending 2-3 days a week together. I got to know his mom. Some of things we talked about, our past relations, our fears, etc..
I honestly think this has a lot to do with his work. He is an engineer and is working on re-branding a product line. He is working a lot and will travel a lot.
I am starting to follow my 'Eat, Pray, Love' mantra ....send him kindness, love......and dropping it. I have to move forward. I have decided to go on a date with one of the guys who contacted me. I only sense friendship with this one, but I have to let Aries go. I have to stick to my guns of what I want. I let him know how much I like him, but I have to find someone who wants the same things as me.
PD
i don't think you're emotionally weak but the guy in question probably thought so. because from the description you gave of him, he sounded like somebody who thought you could be swayed hence his audacious attempt to get more sex from you with no strings attached even after you told him no. that's what i meant. sorry i should've been more clear.
before this, i didn't really know where you stood but after reading your response, you do sound like an assertive person. i'm relieved because nowadays it's so common for people to allow their love interests to walk all over them and i'm always concerned for those people.
before this, i didn't really know where you stood but after reading your response, you do sound like an assertive person. i'm relieved because nowadays it's so common for people to allow their love interests to walk all over them and i'm always concerned for those people.
Jesse - Thanks for your response. I think that is why I sometimes look like I have ADD with men. I never compromise who I am or what I want.
BTW - Aries and I can end on a good note. I am not angry with him. I don't feel disrespected by him. He was being honest and so was I. It was not all bad ......we just want very different things. It is just a shame because we get along smashingly well in just about every aspect.
Ah well ....such is life.
PD
BTW - Aries and I can end on a good note. I am not angry with him. I don't feel disrespected by him. He was being honest and so was I. It was not all bad ......we just want very different things. It is just a shame because we get along smashingly well in just about every aspect.
Ah well ....such is life.
PD
P_D.. I say this with all the compassion possible.. PLEASE do not let yourself get carried away by attraction or sexual chemistry with any more guys you are still technically only "casually" dating. Yes, the Aries may be quite open to and looking for a serious relationship.. but he clearly wasn't on the same page as you. Men usually have much longer "timelines" than women do for getting into a serious relationship (and 2 months is VERY short to most men!), and it's not right or wrong. Some women handle this sort of FWB relationship just fine, but you are obviously not built that way, and you only hurt yourself again when you catch feelings again. For a guy who isn't on the same page as you. Again. I'm not saying to be a tease or an ice queen.. I'm saying masturbate at home, and DATE men (in public) to see if something more serious than FWB can develop.. BEFORE you sleep with him.
Yes, he enjoyed your company and you spent a lot of time together and had great sex. But none of that connects a man emotionally to a woman or makes him fall in love.. even though sex hormones are designed by nature and science to BOND a woman to a man. It's a pretty shitty deal for us women most of the time, and that's why we need to be very choosy about who we give ourselves to, and very strong on our boundaries. YOU want an exclusive, committed relationship.. there's NO shame in that, and that's where you need to stand strong and not let hormones carry you away. Casual sex won't cut it anymore.
Also, you may have "had the talk".. but it seems to me that you were very.. uhh.. tentative with your boundaries and expectations. And that's certainly what HE saw when after the talk (where he DIDN'T make it clear that he wanted to be exclusive WITH YOU, with words and actions matching up).. you still wanted to hang out and continue as you were. He's going by YOUR actions.. YOU seemed okay with continuing the casual thing, like he was. Then you brought it up again.. oh, hmm.. maybe you WEREN'T so okay with it.. but he still wasn't ready or wanting to commit to just you.
You should have been dating other men, lots of fun, casual dates, getting hung up on NONE of them while you're still casually dating. You're mostly hurt because you laser-focused on him, caught feelings.. and he didn't. If he was just a fun guy you were dating, him not being "ready" wouldn't faze you a bit... because YOU wouldn't be ready either. You'd still be getting to know him and enjoying his company.
Yes, he enjoyed your company and you spent a lot of time together and had great sex. But none of that connects a man emotionally to a woman or makes him fall in love.. even though sex hormones are designed by nature and science to BOND a woman to a man. It's a pretty shitty deal for us women most of the time, and that's why we need to be very choosy about who we give ourselves to, and very strong on our boundaries. YOU want an exclusive, committed relationship.. there's NO shame in that, and that's where you need to stand strong and not let hormones carry you away. Casual sex won't cut it anymore.
Also, you may have "had the talk".. but it seems to me that you were very.. uhh.. tentative with your boundaries and expectations. And that's certainly what HE saw when after the talk (where he DIDN'T make it clear that he wanted to be exclusive WITH YOU, with words and actions matching up).. you still wanted to hang out and continue as you were. He's going by YOUR actions.. YOU seemed okay with continuing the casual thing, like he was. Then you brought it up again.. oh, hmm.. maybe you WEREN'T so okay with it.. but he still wasn't ready or wanting to commit to just you.
You should have been dating other men, lots of fun, casual dates, getting hung up on NONE of them while you're still casually dating. You're mostly hurt because you laser-focused on him, caught feelings.. and he didn't. If he was just a fun guy you were dating, him not being "ready" wouldn't faze you a bit... because YOU wouldn't be ready either. You'd still be getting to know him and enjoying his company.
Nefer - Thanks for your response. You are correct about how I am in relations. Honestly, I was actually in the midst of meeting someone this past December and Aries was not at the height of my attention. When I got involved with him, I did not plan to like him so much or enjoy my time with him. I was planning on meeting someone on a trip that fell through the cracks and end up being a disaster (but that is a whole other topic and quiet frankly would like to just forget about that guy). So I started dating Aries. I had originally had intentions to be his friend and nothing more. I will be honest he peeked my curiosity because he is Asian. I had never dated an Asian man. I had fun with him and the next thing I knew we were spending a lot of time together than one thing led to another. To be honest, I was talking to Aries since November and than we started hanging out in December. Honestly maybe where I made the mistake is spending so much time with him and than cutting off any new potential people. Again this was all an accident. I was not supposed to like him so much, it just happened ....damn Aries moon.
I plan to eventually remain his friend. He is a good person, and a kind, honest man. I just cannot go back to being his casual girl right now. In time it will come together. *sigh*
PD
I plan to eventually remain his friend. He is a good person, and a kind, honest man. I just cannot go back to being his casual girl right now. In time it will come together. *sigh*
PD
So it gets more interesting .....Aries made up fictious name on the dating site and contacted me. He asked me to email him, so I looked up the email he sent and he is friends with this fictious person with a 2nd FB account. What the hell— He is 52 and still playing games? Now he won't respond to me, because I have him figured out.
Michelle
Michelle
That was Nefer's nice way of saying what I've been telling you for some time now ... stop being a slut.
Seems like every other month, you've slept with a different man with intentions of trying to get him to want to love you and you aren't succeeding .. the only thing you are succeeding at is being an even bigger slut.
Seems like every other month, you've slept with a different man with intentions of trying to get him to want to love you and you aren't succeeding .. the only thing you are succeeding at is being an even bigger slut.
Here's just the past year ..
January 2010 - crazy about Gemini .. he's fun but not serious enough for you
by April - you are in the throws of crushing on a Scorpio
by end of May - you are back in Scorpio room, asking how to get Scorp man to fall for you
all of June - back riding Cancer mens dicks
July 9 - have a new beau ... Cappy man - you are full of excitment because he's such a good catch
by end of July - you are in Scorpio room, crying about how Scorpio man doesn't want you
August 11 - back to trying to rekindle with CapMan, saying maybe you threw in towel too soon
September 18 - you now have a new Scorpio .. you make thread stating he is adorable
by 9/22 (for days later) - you are upset because he needs space .. which means you were smothering him
November 1 - Scorp breaks it off with you because you tell him that you want to keep your options open because you don't feel like he gives you enough and that you don't get why he should feel upset about that and break up with you because it ws only the truth
You use the word "devastated" to describe how Scorp man made you feel.
15 days later, on November 16 - you have a new beau, yep, another Scorpio .. devastated, were you?
November 25, 10 days after new Scorpio - you are on an intense ride with Aries/Taurus cusper and you go on for all of December talking about how into you he is ..
I assume this is the same as the Aries you talk about now ... or, I could easily assume that this is 6 men later .. because who knows of how many men there were inbetween .. we only know of the ones you post about here.
January 2010 - crazy about Gemini .. he's fun but not serious enough for you
by April - you are in the throws of crushing on a Scorpio
by end of May - you are back in Scorpio room, asking how to get Scorp man to fall for you
all of June - back riding Cancer mens dicks
July 9 - have a new beau ... Cappy man - you are full of excitment because he's such a good catch
by end of July - you are in Scorpio room, crying about how Scorpio man doesn't want you
August 11 - back to trying to rekindle with CapMan, saying maybe you threw in towel too soon
September 18 - you now have a new Scorpio .. you make thread stating he is adorable
by 9/22 (for days later) - you are upset because he needs space .. which means you were smothering him
November 1 - Scorp breaks it off with you because you tell him that you want to keep your options open because you don't feel like he gives you enough and that you don't get why he should feel upset about that and break up with you because it ws only the truth
You use the word "devastated" to describe how Scorp man made you feel.
15 days later, on November 16 - you have a new beau, yep, another Scorpio .. devastated, were you?
November 25, 10 days after new Scorpio - you are on an intense ride with Aries/Taurus cusper and you go on for all of December talking about how into you he is ..
I assume this is the same as the Aries you talk about now ... or, I could easily assume that this is 6 men later .. because who knows of how many men there were inbetween .. we only know of the ones you post about here.
And all of that ^^^ I got from looking for about 15 minutes in your historical postings.
Actually, all of the posting you did about Aries/Taurus cusper was on the Taurus board, and not the Aries .. so maybe this is an entirely different one.
You should keep your panties up .... women who try to catch men by riding their dicks = lose.
You should keep your panties up .... women who try to catch men by riding their dicks = lose.
whoa...i didn't know about all that... well, it's none of my business but...
i never really understood the whole 'casual sex' thing. i see so many posts on dxp that are about casual sex/FWBs and they all seem needlessly complicated.
i never really understood the whole 'casual sex' thing. i see so many posts on dxp that are about casual sex/FWBs and they all seem needlessly complicated.
I knew her history but still wouldn't call PD a slut, cuz I feel a woman's sexuality is her own and not mine to judge. Idgaf how many partners she's had, or what kind of shenanigans she gets up to in the bedroom... I only care that she is further hurting and damaging HERSELF to do it this way.
I have empathy for the emotional mess she's in underneath. I can see that she's trying to find love, and in these "Casual Sex" times with casual sex rammed down our throats through media and society... well, it looks like everybody's doing it, so that must be the way to get your dream love. You meet, there's sexual chemistry, you sleep together and spend time together, the sex is great and you're really learning about each other. And eventually, if he's The One.. you'll fall madly in love with each other and live happily ever after in an exclusive, committed relationship.. whatever that is to you.
That's not working for you, PD (and actually, it works for almost no one at all!).. so a small but drastic change is in order. The BEST way to protect your tender heart is to leave sex out of it for awhile, ESP since you're the kind that catches feelings easily and can't handle FWB. Not ONE man in the history of mankind EVER fell in love with a woman just because the sex was the bomb. Period. That's not how men fall in love, they are not biologically engineered that way (unlike women!)
Sex is awesome, OH I love sex. I'm a wild, horny girl - and sometimes it was hard to not let my hormones run away with me... sometimes they did, and the sex was fabulous and yummy.. but the aftermath? Not so much. Cuz I'm not really built for FWB or semi-casual. (FFS, I'm a Pisces, I'm built for LOVE!) Soooo I masturbated A LOT.. I have a porn collection that would rival most mens' and a Happy Drawer full of "male replacements" that don't drink, snore, fart, belch, slobber or piss me off. *I* would take care of me and my raging hornies, THEN I would go out on a date. Wearing cotton granny-panties and an old bra. Sometimes with my legs and underarms unshaven for a week, if it had been an especially horny time for me. (Like most women, there's NO WAY I'd want a new lover peeping my granny draws and hairy gams and pits!) Whatever it took to keep me from falling prey to having sex BEFORE I even knew the guy very well, or what he was about, or if he was even DESERVING of my body... no matter HOW hot and sexy I thought he was.
Dating without sex might help you too, PD. Or hurt less.
I have empathy for the emotional mess she's in underneath. I can see that she's trying to find love, and in these "Casual Sex" times with casual sex rammed down our throats through media and society... well, it looks like everybody's doing it, so that must be the way to get your dream love. You meet, there's sexual chemistry, you sleep together and spend time together, the sex is great and you're really learning about each other. And eventually, if he's The One.. you'll fall madly in love with each other and live happily ever after in an exclusive, committed relationship.. whatever that is to you.
That's not working for you, PD (and actually, it works for almost no one at all!).. so a small but drastic change is in order. The BEST way to protect your tender heart is to leave sex out of it for awhile, ESP since you're the kind that catches feelings easily and can't handle FWB. Not ONE man in the history of mankind EVER fell in love with a woman just because the sex was the bomb. Period. That's not how men fall in love, they are not biologically engineered that way (unlike women!)
Sex is awesome, OH I love sex. I'm a wild, horny girl - and sometimes it was hard to not let my hormones run away with me... sometimes they did, and the sex was fabulous and yummy.. but the aftermath? Not so much. Cuz I'm not really built for FWB or semi-casual. (FFS, I'm a Pisces, I'm built for LOVE!) Soooo I masturbated A LOT.. I have a porn collection that would rival most mens' and a Happy Drawer full of "male replacements" that don't drink, snore, fart, belch, slobber or piss me off. *I* would take care of me and my raging hornies, THEN I would go out on a date. Wearing cotton granny-panties and an old bra. Sometimes with my legs and underarms unshaven for a week, if it had been an especially horny time for me. (Like most women, there's NO WAY I'd want a new lover peeping my granny draws and hairy gams and pits!) Whatever it took to keep me from falling prey to having sex BEFORE I even knew the guy very well, or what he was about, or if he was even DESERVING of my body... no matter HOW hot and sexy I thought he was.
Dating without sex might help you too, PD. Or hurt less.
Nef - BTW my feelings were never hurt. Disappointed ...yes but my feelings are not hurt. I did have fun with Aries and it would have been great. That is what you all don't get. I break it off before my feelings do get hurt. I know when it is time to bail. If I would have continued to sleep with Aries than yes I would have set myself up for hurt feelings.
You can judge me all you want and tell me I have issues but the facts are the following:
1 - If I see warning signs that I am not getting what I need in a relationship, I swim away.
2 - I am honest and open with how I feel. No one can ever dog me for being honest. I saw I was starting to get emo about Aries and I swam away. I knew I would want more and trying to remain friends was the better option. I want what I want....yeah maybe being 39 has got me settled in my ways. I don't compromise who I am, what I want, or need in a relatonship. I am very direct and to the point.
3 - I don't stay long in relations that will not be a good ROI (Return on investment)and I am talking about emotional investment not financial. That is why it may seem like a lot of men, but I don't stick around to let someone walk all over me.
4 - The sex thing.....yes Nef ...I will admit you are on the money on that one. I cannot be a casual relationship girl, and that is what I have realized. There is a huge dichotomy with that. If you look at my natal chart Sag Rising, Pisces Sun, Aries moon, Pisces mercury, and than I have this damn Capricorn venus that is not a casual kinda lover ....swimming with fire and passion and than a serious venus. lol I will admit sex is a huge thing I look for in finding the right match. It is important to me. I don't want to invest time with someone who is not sexually compatible to me. Sex is an important value to me and not everyone is a right match.
5 - I never play second fiddle......I want to be the prize.
I don't see my dating habits as all bad. I really am looking for that one, but I have not found him. So I post on here my experiences, it does not make me a bad person or slut...it is just how I roll. There are three angles to what I look for.....someone who is mentally comaptible, physically, and spiritually.
You can judge me all you want and tell me I have issues but the facts are the following:
1 - If I see warning signs that I am not getting what I need in a relationship, I swim away.
2 - I am honest and open with how I feel. No one can ever dog me for being honest. I saw I was starting to get emo about Aries and I swam away. I knew I would want more and trying to remain friends was the better option. I want what I want....yeah maybe being 39 has got me settled in my ways. I don't compromise who I am, what I want, or need in a relatonship. I am very direct and to the point.
3 - I don't stay long in relations that will not be a good ROI (Return on investment)and I am talking about emotional investment not financial. That is why it may seem like a lot of men, but I don't stick around to let someone walk all over me.
4 - The sex thing.....yes Nef ...I will admit you are on the money on that one. I cannot be a casual relationship girl, and that is what I have realized. There is a huge dichotomy with that. If you look at my natal chart Sag Rising, Pisces Sun, Aries moon, Pisces mercury, and than I have this damn Capricorn venus that is not a casual kinda lover ....swimming with fire and passion and than a serious venus. lol I will admit sex is a huge thing I look for in finding the right match. It is important to me. I don't want to invest time with someone who is not sexually compatible to me. Sex is an important value to me and not everyone is a right match.
5 - I never play second fiddle......I want to be the prize.
I don't see my dating habits as all bad. I really am looking for that one, but I have not found him. So I post on here my experiences, it does not make me a bad person or slut...it is just how I roll. There are three angles to what I look for.....someone who is mentally comaptible, physically, and spiritually.
So many of you post on here like you really know who I am and what I am about including P-Angel ...but really you don't. I am an intense and passionate person emotionally, intellectually, and sexually. It has it draws and set-backs, however I have never been so self-aware or more aware of what I want and need in relationships. It may make me look melancholly in affairs of the heart, but really I don't settle. You can never fault a woman for not settling. I don't consider myself "A Typical Woman". To me a typical woman settles with a guy just for the sake of being in relationships, instead of finding that one who meets your needs or a woman who plays games to win a guy. I am a straight-up kind of girl and you will always know where you stand with me. Fault me or not ....it is how I roll.
BTW - P-Angel from what I read in one of your post, you are not exactly the most happy person in your marriage, and I believe you should be the LAST person coming on DXP telling women about "functional, happy relationships". I still find your behavior with stalking my post a bit bothersome; however I am learning to embrace your banter and smile. It is my Buddha way. 😄 I can always count on you to post on my post trying to bring people up to speed on my dating history which btw has no accuracy to it. 😉 hehehehehehe
On a side note I also want to express my disagreement about having sex with a potential partner being "the deal-breaker". Perhaps it was the deal-breaker in your teens or twenties but lets get real. For some of us ...including myself sex is a vital importance in my relations. If I get to that experience with someone, in my opinion I want to take a test drive before I decide to buy. I am not ashamed to admit I enjoy my sensuality and sexuality. I don't sleep with everyone however if the opportunitiy arises, I am not gun shy.
Typical woman .....not so much. Complex woman ......yes indeed.
PD
BTW - P-Angel from what I read in one of your post, you are not exactly the most happy person in your marriage, and I believe you should be the LAST person coming on DXP telling women about "functional, happy relationships". I still find your behavior with stalking my post a bit bothersome; however I am learning to embrace your banter and smile. It is my Buddha way. 😄 I can always count on you to post on my post trying to bring people up to speed on my dating history which btw has no accuracy to it. 😉 hehehehehehe
On a side note I also want to express my disagreement about having sex with a potential partner being "the deal-breaker". Perhaps it was the deal-breaker in your teens or twenties but lets get real. For some of us ...including myself sex is a vital importance in my relations. If I get to that experience with someone, in my opinion I want to take a test drive before I decide to buy. I am not ashamed to admit I enjoy my sensuality and sexuality. I don't sleep with everyone however if the opportunitiy arises, I am not gun shy.
Typical woman .....not so much. Complex woman ......yes indeed.
PD
If you were not emotionally invested enough to even be "hurt".. why on earth would it baffle you that the man didn't want to declare himself in an exclusive, committed relationship with you yet?? If YOUR emotions are held in/back, not involved.. YOU are a shitty "investment" to a man looking for a relationship. Get more of the same and HOPE your new gf finally opened up?? YOU don't want a realtionship with an emotionless, holding back man.. you'd think it was a shitty return!
You're either lying to yourself in order to lie to us.. or you're more damaged than I thought and each time you repeat the pattern, even more damage. It's like you get into bed with men you don't yet have an emotional connection to (only a sexual one) THEN (sometimes) into an exclusive relationship ..and THEN maybe work on the love/emotions part... but you're totally INVULNERABLE at the time?? Now, I'm sure you think you're shielding/protecting your heart that way.. can't hurt if you never allowed yourself to feel much with him, right? But those walls you build to protect you.. well, it keeps good men out too, right along with the bad ones. Very effective, if you're looking to stay single or perpetually in short-term mostly sexual relationships.
It's like you hold your emotions back as a prize to be won.. but really, your sex and your commitment are the prizes to be won, and your EMOTIONS are your BEACON to bring a man's heart close to you. You've got it backwards and it's going to KEEP tripping you up. Dating you probably feels like dating a man, the way you go about this. MEN hold back their emotions and have sex while getting to know you (if you allow sex!)... a WOMAN feels and lives her life fearless and unashamed that she's a feminine, emotional creature with oodles of feelings, good and bad. She's comfortable in her own skin, in her own FEELINGS.. and that makes it SAFE for a man to feel and be comfortable in HIS.
...but MEN make a commitment AFTER his emotional connection for her is triggered, and THAT is NEVER triggered by sex.. or great intellectual conversation... or things in common... it's ONLY triggered EMOTIONALLY, like by the "siren's call" of a confident yet vulnerable woman strong enough to JUST BE her luscious, feeling, fabulous self in his presence. Cuz really, if she's not even comfortable with HER OWN feelings.. how in the hell is she going to accept/deal with HIS TOO?
Instant disconnect, or never connected.. and then you're both just killing time. 😢
You're either lying to yourself in order to lie to us.. or you're more damaged than I thought and each time you repeat the pattern, even more damage. It's like you get into bed with men you don't yet have an emotional connection to (only a sexual one) THEN (sometimes) into an exclusive relationship ..and THEN maybe work on the love/emotions part... but you're totally INVULNERABLE at the time?? Now, I'm sure you think you're shielding/protecting your heart that way.. can't hurt if you never allowed yourself to feel much with him, right? But those walls you build to protect you.. well, it keeps good men out too, right along with the bad ones. Very effective, if you're looking to stay single or perpetually in short-term mostly sexual relationships.
It's like you hold your emotions back as a prize to be won.. but really, your sex and your commitment are the prizes to be won, and your EMOTIONS are your BEACON to bring a man's heart close to you. You've got it backwards and it's going to KEEP tripping you up. Dating you probably feels like dating a man, the way you go about this. MEN hold back their emotions and have sex while getting to know you (if you allow sex!)... a WOMAN feels and lives her life fearless and unashamed that she's a feminine, emotional creature with oodles of feelings, good and bad. She's comfortable in her own skin, in her own FEELINGS.. and that makes it SAFE for a man to feel and be comfortable in HIS.
...but MEN make a commitment AFTER his emotional connection for her is triggered, and THAT is NEVER triggered by sex.. or great intellectual conversation... or things in common... it's ONLY triggered EMOTIONALLY, like by the "siren's call" of a confident yet vulnerable woman strong enough to JUST BE her luscious, feeling, fabulous self in his presence. Cuz really, if she's not even comfortable with HER OWN feelings.. how in the hell is she going to accept/deal with HIS TOO?
Instant disconnect, or never connected.. and then you're both just killing time. 😢
"On a side note I also want to express my disagreement about having sex with a potential partner being "the deal-breaker". Perhaps it was the deal-breaker in your teens or twenties but lets get real. For some of us ...including myself sex is a vital importance in my relations. If I get to that experience with someone, in my opinion I want to take a test drive before I decide to buy. I am not ashamed to admit I enjoy my sensuality and sexuality. I don't sleep with everyone however if the opportunitiy arises, I am not gun shy."
I neglected to address this before.. but I feel misunderstood. I am in NO WAY telling you to "hold out" sex or use the lure of possible sex to get a man's commitment. FUCK THAT. That backfires nearly as often as fucking to create a relationship out of thin air! And yes, I test-drive, hell yeah. I LOVE SEX! But I don't test-drive men I barely know, am holding back from, and haven't had time to build any connection with. I wait until there is MORE than just a sexual attraction alone.. esp on HIS part. If HE's ONLY sexually attracted to me, thinks I'm fun and witty and has a great time.. but he'd just like to bang me and has not made any CLEAR indications to support that he thinks of me as more than a piece of ass and/or a friend.. no. He doesn't have to be head over heels in love with me and down on bended knee, begging for my hand.. but he damn well better value me as more than FWB.
Getting sexually involved long before a deeper connection is made causes (unnecessary) complications in what should be a FUN, HAPPY experience.. dating and getting to know a man and seeing if the two of you might have something special. It's not about a specific "timeline".. idgaf if women want to screw on the 1st date or the 10th or the 50th. I don't preach abstinence - I preach self control to do what's best for YOU and YOUR GOALS. I get concerned when a woman habitually gets into shallow, short-term sexual or FWB relationships, and keeps getting left at the curb (or leaving) when yet another man doesn't even want to commit or be exclusive. Then SHE'S having sex too soon for HER situations, and a change might be in order.
But if you're HAPPY turning 40 and having these "relationships".. keep on. Beautiful job, if that's your goal. But if you're tired of that and want something of more substance, gotta change it up.
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".
~Einstein
I neglected to address this before.. but I feel misunderstood. I am in NO WAY telling you to "hold out" sex or use the lure of possible sex to get a man's commitment. FUCK THAT. That backfires nearly as often as fucking to create a relationship out of thin air! And yes, I test-drive, hell yeah. I LOVE SEX! But I don't test-drive men I barely know, am holding back from, and haven't had time to build any connection with. I wait until there is MORE than just a sexual attraction alone.. esp on HIS part. If HE's ONLY sexually attracted to me, thinks I'm fun and witty and has a great time.. but he'd just like to bang me and has not made any CLEAR indications to support that he thinks of me as more than a piece of ass and/or a friend.. no. He doesn't have to be head over heels in love with me and down on bended knee, begging for my hand.. but he damn well better value me as more than FWB.
Getting sexually involved long before a deeper connection is made causes (unnecessary) complications in what should be a FUN, HAPPY experience.. dating and getting to know a man and seeing if the two of you might have something special. It's not about a specific "timeline".. idgaf if women want to screw on the 1st date or the 10th or the 50th. I don't preach abstinence - I preach self control to do what's best for YOU and YOUR GOALS. I get concerned when a woman habitually gets into shallow, short-term sexual or FWB relationships, and keeps getting left at the curb (or leaving) when yet another man doesn't even want to commit or be exclusive. Then SHE'S having sex too soon for HER situations, and a change might be in order.
But if you're HAPPY turning 40 and having these "relationships".. keep on. Beautiful job, if that's your goal. But if you're tired of that and want something of more substance, gotta change it up.
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".
~Einstein
was all me saying she's a slut ... well, because she is.
She's been here for several years, with just as many screen names, and lord knows how many men she's fucked over.
Posted by Let*It*Be
"I told him a week ago that I did not think he was in a place to be dating and I understood and I was going to start dating other people."
That ^^ would have been the clincher for me. You not only spoke for him and assumed, but you ended any possiblility of a future for improvement (healing) by saying you were going to see other people. OUCH...
Posted by caribbeangold
im with let it be.
and scorpio chic....i think you are projecting your former relationship with the pisces onto this one.
if pisces dream felt he was so distant and stuff, why not bring it open in a more cautious way instead of "i don't think youre ready and im going to date others"
i mean...come on! he lost a loved one...geez.
she went the wrong way. she prolly wanted a reaction from him, for him to cling to her but instead she dug her own hole.
i would be pretty disappointed too.
i know my vg would tell me, hun, i know you are hurt about losing your grandfather, i sense you have been feeling sad and depressed, let me know how i can help you through these tough times, know that im here for you and that i do still want your touch, love, care...
click to expand
I'm not the only one who is on to her.
She goes on trying to explain in here that she's going to swim away if she feels like it's not the right fit .. but, what she is leaving out is that she leads these men on into thinking that she is feeling them, and then throws words in their face like we see with the Scorpio man above, and then swims away ... proclaiming that he didn't love her the way she needed him to.
I will be sure to post a link on the Scorpio because it is the best description of her antics and when read, people will see that everyone was telling her the same thing.
She plants seeds of doubt inside the Scorpio man's heart about her love for him, just after he loses a family member to death ... and then claims that he doesn't love her enough if he doesn't come chasing after her, and the reason why he doesn't is because he is torn to fucking shreds emotionally due to someone he's close to dying.
She's waits until he's vulnerable, on his knees in despair and then fucking strikes against him.
She goes on trying to explain in here that she's going to swim away if she feels like it's not the right fit .. but, what she is leaving out is that she leads these men on into thinking that she is feeling them, and then throws words in their face like we see with the Scorpio man above, and then swims away ... proclaiming that he didn't love her the way she needed him to.
I will be sure to post a link on the Scorpio because it is the best description of her antics and when read, people will see that everyone was telling her the same thing.
She plants seeds of doubt inside the Scorpio man's heart about her love for him, just after he loses a family member to death ... and then claims that he doesn't love her enough if he doesn't come chasing after her, and the reason why he doesn't is because he is torn to fucking shreds emotionally due to someone he's close to dying.
She's waits until he's vulnerable, on his knees in despair and then fucking strikes against him.
http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=2252618&p=6<BR>
There's the link where she's devastated because of Scorpio not running to get her back.
Keep in mind that this devastation was the beginning of November .. November 16, she has new Scorpio which she throws in other Scorpios face when he tries to talk to her, and then has the baffling Aries by November 21
11-1
11-16
11-21
20 fucking days ... she wouldn't have even completed a full woman's cycle in that time ... you expected people to believe you were devastated PD, when you cared so little about the Scorpio that you were riding Aries dick in 20 days?
There's the link where she's devastated because of Scorpio not running to get her back.
Keep in mind that this devastation was the beginning of November .. November 16, she has new Scorpio which she throws in other Scorpios face when he tries to talk to her, and then has the baffling Aries by November 21
11-1
11-16
11-21
20 fucking days ... she wouldn't have even completed a full woman's cycle in that time ... you expected people to believe you were devastated PD, when you cared so little about the Scorpio that you were riding Aries dick in 20 days?
Posted by DetailsPlease
They really need an edit button on this site??_.Fuck.
PD, Nefer never really comes on the Aries board and she is only here because she cares about the things you are doing to yourself. So PD you may be doing what you doing for whatever reason, but Nefer really cares. P too??_because someone would not take all this time to post these things if they didn't care. It's all at how you look at what they are doing. If you look at this in a negative light, then it is negative, but if you look at it in a positive light, then it may be something that you can learn from.
We all know P delivery is not pretty, but her message and Nefer message is still the same. So, I would be happy that they are following me around because at least I would know they care. If they didn't care, why the hell would they take their time to write all that stuff much less look-up stuff you did in the past? What are they really going to gain from doing it?
I agree.
what hurts the most in life is when people stop caring about you altogether...it's usually a sign that they've given up on you completely and no longer cares about what happens to you.
we all need to consider ourselves lucky if there are people out there who still care about us....even if there's only one or two of them within this whole universe....thats what my dad always said.
it definitely takes courage to admit that what you've been doing in the past 39 years hasn't been working for you but you can find that courage somewhere within you and change your life as a result.
it's kinda weird how this is turning into an intervention lol
iTA with P-angel. you play games with these men and they know it.
why buy the cow if she's giving the milk for free.
why buy the pig if he's giving out the sausage for free.
why buy the cow if she's giving the milk for free.
why buy the pig if he's giving out the sausage for free.
Posted by DetailsPlease
It's great that P and Nefer are putting it in her face so she can look in the mirror, so it means you guys care. I am wondering if she ready to look in the mirror? Have you guys told her this before or is this the first time? I know how some Pisces hate to be judged, and I am wondering if she will pay attention to message that is being given?
*sigh* I DO care, that's what I'm all about. NONE of this benefits me directly, and I'm sure I could find thirty more fun (and less frustrating) things to do with my free time than to hold a mirror up to a (STUBBORN) woman and whisper, "Look. SEE. This isn't what you REALLY want, this isn't working for YOU. Try something new, something radical and counter-intuitive. Because you are worth so, so much more than the little you're allowing yourself to have!"
You're right, I never hang out on the Aries boards.. but maybe I should once in awhile.. I have some strong Aries placements, including my dat-da-dat-dat-da-DA SUPAcharged Aries Venus LOL
P-Angel HAS told her all of this before, in typical P-Angel style . I don't think I've ever offered more than a word here or there to PD. I mostly observed and figured the Pisces woman will find her own path, like we all eventually do. This one just finally moved me, I guess.. and I could no longer sit idly by and watch PD on a permanent self-destructive loop.
PD might not listen to me either.. she might see me as attacking or judging or trying to control her... which, admittedly never sits well with a Pisces. All I can do is offer my words and assure her that HER well-being is what interests me, that my greatest wish is for her to find personal fulfillment. If what she's been doing was fulfilling.. she wouldn't be here, over and over.. putting all this on DXP, looking for an answer.
Nefer you have a beautiful heart but you can't save em all, as much as you would like to take her with you and show her a better way, a less hurtful damaging way to herself well she won't budge like many self delusion Pisces, I try hard not to talk to pisces females b/c many of the emotionally immature women are stubborn, stuck in la la land and never have they feet on the ground, very difficult sign to get through to and basically you lead a horse to water but you can't make em drink, as much as you make sense and really are sharing some great helpful insightful loving sincere insights that could change her whole relationship experience if she would just listen and take heed yet it's up to her to accept help and this chick doesn't want help.
As long as PD doesn't think anything is wrong with her behavior she's going to continue doing what she's doing. What's that saying? insanity is doing something over and over again and getting the same result. She can't see how insane her behavior is, she says I want longterm but then she goes directly into something sexually casual so really her behavior says to a man she doesn't want longterm even if she discusses it with a man, verbally saying I want longterm and then physically going into something casual is INSANE BEHAVIOR when it's being played out over and over again, not once has she adjusted her behavior to reflect that she wants a longterm relationship with a man, if she wanted something longterm she would adjust her attitude and behavior to reflect that, IMO she wants sex with a man she's physically attracted to and she wants the option to be longterm if she wants to LATER and that's crazy ass backwards thinking b/c it don't work like that in the real world.
As long as PD doesn't think anything is wrong with her behavior she's going to continue doing what she's doing. What's that saying? insanity is doing something over and over again and getting the same result. She can't see how insane her behavior is, she says I want longterm but then she goes directly into something sexually casual so really her behavior says to a man she doesn't want longterm even if she discusses it with a man, verbally saying I want longterm and then physically going into something casual is INSANE BEHAVIOR when it's being played out over and over again, not once has she adjusted her behavior to reflect that she wants a longterm relationship with a man, if she wanted something longterm she would adjust her attitude and behavior to reflect that, IMO she wants sex with a man she's physically attracted to and she wants the option to be longterm if she wants to LATER and that's crazy ass backwards thinking b/c it don't work like that in the real world.
The easiest route would be to stop having sex, take 3 to 6 months (NO SEX) or longer to get to know a man and let him get to know her FIRST to even see if he wants something longterm with her but she kills that opportunity by moving too fast and giving into sex too soon, her behavior leads a man to believe he can have sex with her and still pursue his desires with other women, she can't see it is her that causing the problems she's having, once a man get sex he's going to drag his damn feet b/c he know longer is interested in getting to know her as a potential longterm love interest...Self sabotaging is what she does I believe not intentionally but that's what's going on and as long as she is fine with her behavior why try to help her see any different, let her keep swimming upstream and bumping her ass on concrete, she just got to learn the hard way and she not getting any younger, she better change soon and fast or she's going to be too old change if it's not already too late.
Love me some Tiki —
And.. you're right, as usual 😢
And.. you're right, as usual 😢
Nefer I admire you b/c I know you are such a wonderful person and you try to hold every womans hand and lead her away from the drama she's creating for herself but if a woman won't even take a moment to self reflect and look deep inside of herself well there isn't much you can do for her....
This woman clearly has some unresolved issues but unless she's willing to acknowledge that on some level she's doing something that's sabotaging her love life she's just gonna keep on repeating and acting out the same behaviors with different men. P-Angel showed her a list of the same repetitive behaviors being played out with different men and you would think she would look inside of herself and say wow why am I playing this out over and over and over again with men, I mean what can you say to a woman that keeps kicking a dead horse.
This woman clearly has some unresolved issues but unless she's willing to acknowledge that on some level she's doing something that's sabotaging her love life she's just gonna keep on repeating and acting out the same behaviors with different men. P-Angel showed her a list of the same repetitive behaviors being played out with different men and you would think she would look inside of herself and say wow why am I playing this out over and over and over again with men, I mean what can you say to a woman that keeps kicking a dead horse.
You don't bring all these men home, do you, PD?
I hope not .. because I know you have children, and this would be instilling the wrong program into their little psyches.
I hope not .. because I know you have children, and this would be instilling the wrong program into their little psyches.
Give the lady a break, we don't know the full stories.. Only parts and assumptions.
You have to kiss many frogs to find a prince amongst them!!
You have to kiss many frogs to find a prince amongst them!!
Just had a time to respond .....because I have been busy living my life. lol I think it is laughable to say that "these people who stalk me care for me and write these long ass post about their opinion about me....care for me." LOL If that is your definition of caring and love ......I would hate to be you. People who care for me and love me embrace me for who I am and bring out the best in me. I never find this with P-Angel, so believe me I don't take her opinions as the holy grail. What these people on here are doing is judging, criticizing, and trying to enforce their "own beliefs and opinions" as the truth. That is wondeful that is your own truth that you live by ....but it is not mine. You are not me. This is a forum .......do you really think that I am going to value these people as if they are my BFF or a someone who is close to me? I take this forum at face value, and I am not emotionally vested in it. I take what I want and leave the rest. I am capable of long relationships, because I have had friends in my life for over 25 years who know me better than anyone on this forum. I come to write on this forum to express my experiences and learn. I do realize there is lots of BS that gets tossed in this forum.....hence why I don't frequent it much. I also realize there is definately a maturity and age thing going.
I am not hurting myself or even hurt by this break-up. I was only with Aries for a couple of months which does not equate enough time to get hurt. Again I will reiterate. I got out of the relation before I got hurt, however I am not going to try to justify that to you. If I was so hurt, why was I out this weekend having fun? Why have I continued to move on? Why have I decided to let go of something that was not healthy for me?
I know myself better than any of these people know me. I will NEVER put myself in a box of how I view relations or how I will act in them. You can continue to invest hours of writing what you want, but at the end of the day, we all know not everyone gets us. I accept that. Honestly, I don't think you will ever get me because you all don't know me and I am okay with that.
So thanks for your so-called heart felt caring post, but really, I have already found resolution with real people in my life who know me best on this issue. 😉
Aries has been flushed down the toilet. 😉 If he comes back-up I will check to see if he is worthy ...if not he gets flushed back down. 😄
I am not hurting myself or even hurt by this break-up. I was only with Aries for a couple of months which does not equate enough time to get hurt. Again I will reiterate. I got out of the relation before I got hurt, however I am not going to try to justify that to you. If I was so hurt, why was I out this weekend having fun? Why have I continued to move on? Why have I decided to let go of something that was not healthy for me?
I know myself better than any of these people know me. I will NEVER put myself in a box of how I view relations or how I will act in them. You can continue to invest hours of writing what you want, but at the end of the day, we all know not everyone gets us. I accept that. Honestly, I don't think you will ever get me because you all don't know me and I am okay with that.
So thanks for your so-called heart felt caring post, but really, I have already found resolution with real people in my life who know me best on this issue. 😉
Aries has been flushed down the toilet. 😉 If he comes back-up I will check to see if he is worthy ...if not he gets flushed back down. 😄
On a side not .....loved this video .....I loved how she experessed vulnerability. As one of my friends said "If you are not willing to get hurt or disappointed, than you better just stay home and watch Ths Simpsons." This is so true!!! If you want to find love, you have to get out there and be vulnerable. Loved this video!!! It says it all.
Not healthy for you?
You said that he wasn't interested in taking a relationship that is in infancy to the next level, while he expressed that he was still interested in being with you.
That is more than healthy ... that is the way to love.
You said that he wasn't interested in taking a relationship that is in infancy to the next level, while he expressed that he was still interested in being with you.
That is more than healthy ... that is the way to love.
You should come with a warning label
wow, that is spectacular
P-Angel do you call men slutts who do the same thing as Pisces dream?
Did you or did you not give up the booty rather quickly to your famous
Gemini X then seemed baffled that he lost interest when you were both
still considered children in your teens? Wow! Look at the black Kettle
calling the little tea pot black & she's a fellow Pisces.
Did you or did you not give up the booty rather quickly to your famous
Gemini X then seemed baffled that he lost interest when you were both
still considered children in your teens? Wow! Look at the black Kettle
calling the little tea pot black & she's a fellow Pisces.
I agree that sex can & should wait,my aries man waited years until he got
the sex from me.He didn't want to wait but he did it anyway because I wasn't
going to do it & he wanted to be with me that badly,so here we are thru thick
I thin. P-Angel your a hypocrit when you were easy too.
Being sexual too soon causes alot of bad vibes & drama in most cases & some
women believe that if a guy hangs out after the sex for 6 or more months to
a few years that he wasn't using them but thats so wrong yet how many people
have to learn from their mistakes & choices in order to make better choices?
Almost every human on earth so take your abuse & toxic nature some place else
P=Angel k?
the sex from me.He didn't want to wait but he did it anyway because I wasn't
going to do it & he wanted to be with me that badly,so here we are thru thick
I thin. P-Angel your a hypocrit when you were easy too.
Being sexual too soon causes alot of bad vibes & drama in most cases & some
women believe that if a guy hangs out after the sex for 6 or more months to
a few years that he wasn't using them but thats so wrong yet how many people
have to learn from their mistakes & choices in order to make better choices?
Almost every human on earth so take your abuse & toxic nature some place else
P=Angel k?
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