Does it mean an Aries ex doesn't want to fix things if they try to become friends with benefits?

This will get long. I'm sorry. To sum it up quickly, My Aries bf wanted a break last week, then later asked if we could be friends with benefits until we actually fixed things. I don't feel like he's serious about fixing things if he's trying to get me to be his FWB.

Here's the longer version:

My Aries boyfriend broke things off with me last week. It was basically a "it's not you, it's me" type of breakup, though he referred to it as a temporary break rather than an actual breakup. He said he just wanted a break to work on himself so he could be a better partner. Things are pretty bad in his personal life -- money problems, court, etc. -- and he has not been himself lately. He was talking about ending his life, etc. for the last few weeks and needed to seek treatment for that. I mistakenly figured we'd work through these issues together since we were always close and basically best friends.

I was pretty upset about the breakup, so I ghosted him for a week because I couldn't handle talking to him. He can be a ghoster too when he's upset, so he understood when I said I needed to stop talking to him for a bit. We remained friends on social media though. He was reacting to my stuff while posting stuff on his own accounts about how sad he was. I finally reached out and asked if he was okay since he kept posting so many depressing things geared toward me. He wrote back and said no, then told me that leaving me had not made his life any better.

Then he invited me to hang out. I went over there for a few hours, but nothing sexual happened. We just talked about everything that was happening in our lives -- basically a normal day for us, minus the physical stuff we'd usually do. I was happy about this because I figured it was a good sign we'd eventually get back together after our break since he's the one who said he wanted to do that. He has always been very honest with me, so I had no reason not to believe him.

A day later, he messaged me saying that he's a mess but that he misses attention from me. He then asked if we could be friends with benefits. I was offended and said no. I explained that I was under the impression that he wanted to fix our relationship after he focused on improving his mental health and other issues. He started apologizing a bunch of times and said "I never should have asked you to do this! Our relationship is complicated right now, and I shouldn't have proposed this." Then he apologized more.

I was upset and said that I wouldn't be in a friends with benefits situation with him since he is someone I actually care about and not just a fling. I explained that I was under the impression we were fixing things eventually, and I told him that I needed him to be honest and just tell me if he wanted to be done for good. I stated that I would not entertain a FWB request if there was a chance we could have an actual relationship again. I told him I was confused about why he'd ask me to do something like this when he had just told me a week ago that he wanted to eventually fix things.

He kept apologizing and then said that he does want to be with me when he's better but that he he realizes he can't ask me to wait for that. He says he just wants to leave the door open for a real relationship (hence the break and not the breakup) and that he hopes I'll still be there when he's doing better in his life. Went on about how we have an emotional connection and that's why he wants to talk to me 24/7 (he texts constantly) and see me all the time. Apologized a bunch more for proposing the FWB thing. I think he apologized more for this incident than he has in the last few months combined for other issues.

I'm just confused and offended right now. I never pictured him as the type of ex who would approach me a week later asking if we could just hook up, especially since we are supposedly just on a temporary break and he knows how I feel about him. I feel like any guy serious about having a long-term relationship again in the future would not even think about asking me to fill a FWB role, but who knows. Hopefully someone has some insight. Thanks.

I don’t get the “break” thing at all?? Why do you need a break in a relationship?

He’s either in or out and if at this point he’s out then you keep moving. Do not sit around and wait until he makes up his mind and don’t be his pen pal.

Him asking for you to be his FWB was really pushing the boundaries!!

Fwb means he gets to have sex with you and not commit to you. Free to talk to and do whatever he wants with whoever he wants. Makes you wonder if there’s someone else.

But honestly he’s apologizing a million times (sounds guilty, I’m suspicious) however maybe he means it and doesn’t feel like a good bf right now due to all his problems. Does he have a plan to fix them? In the case on the Aries, he wants you to baby him when he needs you.

A relationship break needs to be done properly for it to work. It is a time when you have little to no contact, to see if you miss and need each other....

If he's depressed, he needs to see a specialist. Maybe in this case you could keep a minimum contact (once a week) to ask about his progress. Unfriend him on social media platforms. Tough love if what he's asking for with a break up.

How long were you together, before he asked for this break?

The thing that stood out to me reading this is he is suicidal. He’s talked for weeks about ending his own life. That’s some heavy ish.

He needs to focus on his mental health and feels he can’t be a good bf to you but also doesn’t want to loose you from his life.

This is the moment you can assure him your not going anywhere and a break from the relationship isn’t necessary...you will support him needing space to get his head together. Him self sabotaging the relationship isn’t surprising if he’s talking about taking his own life.

Maybe he thought breaking up with you would help soften the blow when he kills himself. But then he got selfish and missing you asked for fwb cause he’s not ready to let you go.

Honestly his priority should be his mental health and not the relationship. Spend your energy focusing on how you can help him with that instead of stressing over the relationship status. Cause getting the gf title back from a dude whose seriously considering suicide is no prize.

Posted by LadyNeptune

The thing that stood out to me reading this is he is suicidal. He’s talked for weeks about ending his own life. That’s some heavy ish.

He needs to focus on his mental health and feels he can’t be a good bf to you but also doesn’t want to loose you from his life.

This is the moment you can assure him your not going anywhere and a break from the relationship isn’t necessary...you will support him needing space to get his head together. Him self sabotaging the relationship isn’t surprising if he’s talking about taking his own life.

Maybe he thought breaking up with you would help soften the blow when he kills himself. But then he got selfish and missing you asked for fwb cause he’s not ready to let you go.

Honestly his priority should be his mental health and not the relationship. Spend your energy focusing on how you can help him with that instead of stressing over the relationship status. Cause getting the gf title back from a dude whose seriously considering suicide is no prize.

This here.

I can't even fathom the thought of someone thinking that the issue is a Relationship Title when the other person is in deep shit emotionally.

The self-absorption of people really knows no bounds, and i know this first hand, I am an Aries after all

But never like this. There are just some limits that we never cross.

Help him solve his issue and you will be rewarded with someone that will praise you for life for what you did. Or only think about yourself and your *deep* emotional needs and titles, and thus you will be rewarded with a life with nothing more then a growing regret and sorrow.

Wake up woman...wtf are you doing ?..

Sorry if I was rude.