Hello beautiful Aries Ladies...have a ?

About my teenage Aries daughter. I am a bit worried about her and wondering the best way to help her. She is 14 and an amazing young lady. She has always been my easier kid and still is, unlike her Gemini 13 yo sister who gives me a run for my money. I get her and we are so similar in so many ways yet different. (Aries Moon here)

There has been so many changes in our lives over the past couple of years and she has taken it the hardest. She is like me in where she likes predictability and the same scene. My other daughter and my son (Gem also) have adjusted and adapted pretty well. We have moved twice in the last two years (among other dramatic events) and she is VERY shy and has "problems" with developing close interpersonal relationships with people. I put problems in quotes because everyone likes her and will talk to her. So it is not like she is an outcast...she outcast herself. Makes sense?

She has developed an attraction to an online gaming site and that is where she does most of her socializing. I have acted time limits for the computer and make her come along and engage in family activities. I have also tried speaking with her and sometimes I can get her to open up other times she is tight lipped about her emotional self. Which I am the same and don't back me in a corner because my Aries moon takes over and I emotional charge ahead. So I don't push but let her know I am here for her.

I just don't know what to do for her and I know being a teen is a harsh and critical time of any person's life as they go through self discovery. I don't want her to move into a deep depression or anything. She is such an amazing young lady. I will post her chart in the next post in this thread to hopefully help.

Sun Aries 1.17
Ascendant Libra 5.18
Moon Gemini 13.13
Mercury Aries 8.43
Venus Aries 18.01
Mars Leo 1.03
Jupiter Pisces 14.55
Saturn Libra 1.16 R
Uranus Pisces 26.51
Neptune Aquarius 27.27
Pluto Capricorn 5.26
Lilith Aquarius 19.10
Asc node Capricorn 18.17
II Scorpio 2.27
III Sagittarius 3.04
IV Capricorn 5.54
V Aquarius 8.39
VI Pisces 8.54
VII Aries 5.18
VIII Taurus 2.27
IX Gemini 3.04
Midheaven Cancer 5.54
XI Leo 8.39
XII Virgo 8.54

Posted by Curiousram
Sounds exactly like me, she even has the same rising mercury and mars. I began to outcast myself and become anti social and use the computer as an escape of reality around that age. But my parents didn't really do anything to get me off the computer or to go outside. Wow she even has the same midheaven.. her chart is very similar to mine. Try to get her out as much as you can because i became very depressed and still kind of am. Also because of never interacting with people i developed social anxiety and self esteem issues. I still struggle with those issues at the age of 19 so my advice would be to encourage her to go and be social and if doesn't work maybe you should cut off the computer?

Thank you very much for your reply. I have implemented a daily time limit and get her engaged in activities (even when she is reluctant and always is). Things are calming down in life on my end and becoming more stable so I hope to have her back into volleyball in the fall time. I don't want her to have depression or social anxiety. She tells me all the time, well I am just very shy like dad is. I told her she couldn't use that as a crutch. I tell her she is beautiful and people are drawn by her outer and inner beauty, she is the one holding herself back from having all the friends she can desire. But I am afraid to push to much, and partly has to do with myself. When I was caged or forced I would rebel back. Not saying she is like that but I am afraid it will back fire.

Posted by Curiousram
Sorry i didn't read the title you were asking only Aries females... lol

Don't apologize!! I really appreciate your reply and input. Thank you!

There's not much you can do.. Being a teenager is a little difficult, especially at 14. It's the beginning of high school and everyone is trying to make their own way.. Figuring out who they are.. etc. She might be introverted and that's okay. Not every Aries or person in general is out going and sociable. She might be content with just having a few friends and family members to talk to.Atleast you know where she is/what she's doing. Just keep an eye on her if you're worried about her being depressed or becoming depressed.. Take her out every now and then.. Do something she enjoys.. Like picking out a new game to play. 🙂

Posted by anjiepants
awww, I was pretty shy as a kid too. I think the best thing you can do is let her know you are there for her and not try to make it seem like you are "invading" her privacy. Aries kids are very independent and like to figure things out themselves. I think if you give her a bit of freedom and let her figure out what she wants she will be more open with you. Instead of making her do things, maybe suggest them or encourage her? I think Aries people, especially the kids, like to feel like they are "in control" of something or in charge. As long as there is some form of communication, you and her should be fine. She seems like a good kid, just give it a little time and patience.

I get the independent and wanting to figure things out for herself..so me and that is how she is. She is a very wise old sole and has always made the right choices and decisions that I have strong trust and confidence in her. I firmly believe she will make the right choices and when she doesn't (which occasionally happens) she learns well from those poor choices to not repeat them. She really does amaze me.

"making her" is in the sense of going on family outings. But as I told her...you don't have to participate. That is your choice, you can make this outing or event what you want it to be, I can't do that for you. Example, we went to the beach. She didn't want to get in the water with her siblings...fine you can sit here with me if you want, go walk or do something else. She sat with me. But I do get the control thing to...so me.

Thank you! She is a great kid and I am blessed she is mine.

Posted by BrightLights
How about mother daughter dates?
Make yourself part of her life. Go and do stuff that will bond you girls together.

Once you know what's truly in her heart and mind, you can help her find activities that purely bring her joy.

I try my best to get each one of them out time to time for mother/child time. It is vital for kids to have that time and know they are special. 🙂 Thank you!

Posted by AriesIntrovert16
There's not much you can do.. Being a teenager is a little difficult, especially at 14. It's the beginning of high school and everyone is trying to make their own way.. Figuring out who they are.. etc. She might be introverted and that's okay. Not every Aries or person in general is out going and sociable. She might be content with just having a few friends and family members to talk to.Atleast you know where she is/what she's doing. Just keep an eye on her if you're worried about her being depressed or becoming depressed.. Take her out every now and then.. Do something she enjoys.. Like picking out a new game to play. 🙂

+10000 Being a teen is a bitch!!! I hated my teen years. Guess why I want mine to enjoy theirs. I am actually hoping things will turn once she does start high school next month. She got accepted into a Visual Performance Arts Program at a local high school working with Digital and Motion Design and she is very excited about it. I am praying that will be a turning point for her. She hasn't really looked forward to school since we left the area she grew up 1.5 yrs ago. Thank you so much!

Posted by VivaciousScorpio
Get her involved into a team. See what she likes that involves being active, so for instance dancing.
Or gymnastics.
Being active is the best thing.

+1000000 She actually has been very active growing up. I made sure of it. I swear that is why I have great kids and kids who are not trying to grow up to fast because I kept them active. She danced and danced competitively for 7 years. Then the past couple of years she has gotten into volleyball. Since we moved back over New Years I have not been able to get her involved yet. Hoping in a month or so I will have her back into volleyball. Thank you!

Posted by Curiousram

Posted by VivaciousScorpio
Get her involved into a team. See what she likes that involves being active, so for instance dancing.
Or gymnastics.
Being active is the best thing.

Even though shes introverted she probably has natural athletic abilities, i was in gymnastics when i was little haha.

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She is VERY naturally athletic and highly competitive. Even with herself. Love that about you rams. Great quality. 🙂

Posted by GG
Most Aries, if not all Aries are shy when young. I say let her go through the process. It never lasts! Getting her involved in something that forces her to interact with others but still engaging her will do wonders for her emotional life.

I don't see a problem with the online gaming...Aries folks get bored of things super fast. Just let her be... cause you might just be prolonging something that was just supposed to be a phase for her.

And stop being so controlling!!! I know Leo mom's and you guys are controlling as fuck. You're being sweet in the thread but I can read pass that shit. This sounds like a "single mom" situation and I'm sure you're doing your best. Put a little more faith in her, she might surprise you.

🙂

You know GG (see I got it right), I did really like you...until. 😉

Interesting about Aries being shy when young. I was not aware. Hopefully once she starts HS next month she will pull back out and back into what her passion has been which has been video creation. She will also be able to get back into volleyball.

Now...controlling— Really?? OK, yes I have control issues. LOL But not bad as a parent. I know how it is to have a over bearing controlling parent....my lovely Aqua mom. I refuse to be like her!! I did most of it as they were younger. Her, she did not need much attention for bad choices and always did what was expected and still does. I still let them know I am the parental unit in the house and they have rules and expectations but I allow them now to navigate more in their lives and only pull them back in when poor decisions are being made. It is a single mom situation. Part of the rough past two years. Their farther and I divorced and he left the country as soon as I asked for it. These kids amaze me with how amazing they are with everything they have been through.

Posted by GG

Posted by TheLioness79

Posted by GG
Most Aries, if not all Aries are shy when young. I say let her go through the process. It never lasts! Getting her involved in something that forces her to interact with others but still engaging her will do wonders for her emotional life.

I don't see a problem with the online gaming...Aries folks get bored of things super fast. Just let her be... cause you might just be prolonging something that was just supposed to be a phase for her.

And stop being so controlling!!! I know Leo mom's and you guys are controlling as fuck. You're being sweet in the thread but I can read pass that shit. This sounds like a "single mom" situation and I'm sure you're doing your best. Put a little more faith in her, she might surprise you.

🙂

You know GG (see I got it right), I did really like you...until. 😉

Interesting about Aries being shy when young. I was not aware. Hopefully once she starts HS next month she will pull back out and back into what her passion has been which has been video creation. She will also be able to get back into volleyball.

Now...controlling— Really?? OK, yes I have control issues. LOL But not bad as a parent. I know how it is to have a over bearing controlling parent....my lovely Aqua mom. I refuse to be like her!! I did most of it as they were younger. Her, she did not need much attention for bad choices and always did what was expected and still does. I still let them know I am the parental unit in the house and they have rules and expectations but I allow them now to navigate more in their lives and only pull them back in when poor decisions are being made. It is a single mom situation. Part of the rough past two years. Their farther and I divorced and he left the country as soon as I asked for it. These kids amaze me with how amazing they are with everything they have been through.

You and me are cool. You get me and my humor. Leo's are great people so I have no doubt you are a great mom.

Too much control just irks me. Especially when it comes to children.

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Try having a cancer mom.. *shivers*

Posted by BrightLights
Lioness, I always admired you from a far. We are kinda same age, you and I, but you seem more mature because I have no children and have not been through exactly what you have.

I know you are trying your best. Career, house, death of family, children, dates for yourself. I don't know how you do it all.

I can only mentally analyze it, because I am a gemini.

But I really do think if you girls have your own dates, it will help. It is not true that mothers are boring.
My Scorpio mom has always been my best friend. Okay, maybe that's cultural and generational, but that's how it is.

Go have pedicures, go shopping, go to movies, parks, sports events, ballet, arts and galleries, book stores, take her to a local library, have tea and pastries in little cafe, etc...
I think it could be fun for both!!
Aries are fun and energetic and up for anything. My aries dad has always been my best buddy!!!
Just ask her, she probably won't say no. You say jump, aries says how high?
Which is what I loveeeee about them, their spirit
— —

Thank you BrightLights! I am results oriented so I just do in my life what needs and must be done and balance out what I need for me as well. One thing I have learned over the years, I am no good for anyone least what I have created unless I can do for me first. You keep yourself from being consumed in life and more balanced.If that makes sense.

I agree 100% I LOVE the Aries spirit. It sings to my soul and what makes me adore them so much. Just like the Gems intuitive analytics and their beautiful wit.

I try not to be my kids best friend, that will come when they are adults. I try to balance it where they know I am the parent and authoritative figure yet they can feel comfortable enough to come to me about anything as I am here for them. No matter what I will love them and will guide them. And I lead by example, after all they are only a reflection of who I am.

Yes, I do agree with "our time". Getting her alone also allows her to let her guard down with me and will open up to me about things in her life. Even if it is chit chat about school. It also helps each one of my three to have that alone time with me let them know they are each loved by me equally and I allow their individuality to come through what we do.

Posted by champranger

Posted by BrightLights

But I really do think if you girls have your own dates, it will help. It is not true that mothers are boring.

+1

But lean towards things that she likes to do. Don't force her off the computer. Lead her away from it.

IMO 🙂

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LOVE IT!!! Don't force but lead her. I had to chew on this for a time period. Thank you!!!

GG, yes I do get your humor. 🙂

I agree with the too controlling parents. I am still scared from mommy dearest. LOL she still tries to control my life in some way or the other. She is lucky I have her grandkids.... 😉

I believe the installation of what is expected from you as a person is instilled in the younger years. I always got complimented on how great my kids where in public and in general from people but that is because I correct them and show them the correct way to behave. Not in a domineering way. At the age they are, I am moving more into guidance roll as I step back a little and allow them to discover themselves and the world around them. The effect of consequences as every decision you make has a positive and negative consequence to it, even positive decisions. And the installation of the morals/values/and behaviors that can only be taught in the teen years. And of course, parenting never ends at age 18, I will always be their mother.