How do Aries handle jealousy?

I'm aware that this is an Aries board and there'll be Arieses here.
Well I just want to bring up a topic that involves one of your fellow rams.

A "good" friend of mine, I have no idea how good, but she's always trying to make things difficult for me. Y'know Aries and Libra have this opposite tension thing, and especially with the same sex, that's what makes us gel so well.

I was really hoping to be good buds with her, but recently I noticed oh-so-subtly (I know rams are hardly ever subtle), that she was trying to cling on to the guy I was dating. Geez, I dont even speak to her bf for 3 mins, she'll jealously pull him away. But now shes been single for a long time, and me and my guy have her for a mutual friend for ages.

So she does everything to seperate us, and I overlooked that for a couple of years!! Why? I had faith in our friendship. I never believed she was so malicious, until recently she made it so obvious.

The thing is, my libra guy doesn't do anything about it. He likes the attention. So, before I do anything drastic, I just want to know how to get her to back off. I know she's just wanting him because he's dating me. Jeez, she's never liked him that way before.

I messaged her with a note and got a vague reply. So, there, guilty as charged.
I just want to make a clean break.
Will she still want to be friends?
What will her next step be?

Any clues would be great.

"Will she still want to be friends?"


I'm sure she'll still want to be friends .. she probably wants to remain friends with all people who let her game their men, since this apparantly gets her jollies.

In your position .. this man would be history, regardless of who the other woman was, or her sign. If he would allow the advances of another woman .. then he isn't worthy of me and my love.

It appears to me that you are more worried about having friends, without much consideration into the definition .. in that case, you are left wide open to be abused.

If she would game your man, without any consideration or respect to you or him, then why would you want her to remain friends with you?

P-Angel, you're right.

But the thing is, I gave her benefit of the doubt because all this is very subtle. I have no idea if it is really true she actually likes him, if at all.

I don't like to bust anything without being certain, but be certain that once everything is wide open, she'd be put on trial, together with him, too, if he's guilty.

Well, I guess I was too nice - when you're in the situation, you can't see it clearly can you? She was a pretty 'close' friend of mine, as in, I knew her since forever.

Ohh.. I thought you were an Aries, but then I saw your profile 🙂.
I thought, why would an Aries' girl speak up for me?
lol

Yes, geminifox, I don't want to rock the boat. It would be embarassing if it was a big deal out of nothing. Arrgh, now I wanna know how to get back at that Aries. I won't do that to her boyfriend because I don't play this stupid game.

Besides, I'm at a loss. If I'm going to dump her sorry ass, he will have to go as well. I just need to make it clear once and for all.

Just wish she'd quit the acting.

No, geminifox, you don't understand.. the libra guy has lady friends.. and besides, I trust him (somewhat).
The 3 of us have been hanging out for a long time, so it's natural he sees her.. as a friend. See, that's my dilemma.

I'm not really being that nice, though. I just don't have proper evidence.
Ah, it's just complicated.
But trust, I will sort out this crap, 'cos I've got one foot in the door already.

"when you're in the situation, you can't see it clearly can you?"


We all fall prey to having blinders on when it comes to people we care about .. we don't WANT to see what is unsavory, or unacceptable.

Yes, that's why geminifox, I have no proper evidence she's betraying me.
I sent her caustic messages and am regretting it already.
Her reply was "go find someone else to pick a fight with"
..way vague.

Actually I believe in the Arien honesty, ya know? I don't believe she has got anything really drastic up her sleeve because I've known her since forever.
Aries' are pretty non-complicated beings, and I'm still trying to find out what's happening.

spica .. have you asked him whether she's coming to him? I know you said that he enjoys the attention, we all do .. but, there's a difference between friendly attention and flirting. What does he have to say about that?

" We all fall prey to having blinders on when it comes to people we care about .. we don't WANT to see what is unsavory, or unacceptable."

That's true.. weee.. now it's either she's the devil, or it's me. Either way, I'll be dragging her off to hell. hehehe.. and the libra guy can come too, if he wants 😉


geminifox, my intuition is at odds.. I suspect everything is a conspiracy now, have been for some time. But my guy has a sort of sincerity that tells me there's nothing. So, yeah, if I withdraw from the stage, i'd just leave the cast hanging.

I've blocked her, and have not been talking to him. I know he knows something's up.
Will just wait for the storm to settle 🙂

P-Angel, I've not talked to him yet. I'm still waiting for the right time, but I can feel it coming soon. 🙂

Thanks gemfox!

You want to know how to get to an Aries?

Pretend as though you don't give a damn about them .. ignore them, carry on in your life without a moments thought .. they can't STAND that.

Aries people want you loyally by their side .. and then pay little attention until they think you're straying ..

Have you ever noticed that they don't look at you or start a conversation with you .. until you ignore them and go to another person to get advice or to admire .. suddenly, they are turning on the charm to get you again, then tuck you away without giving undivided attention.

This is the way they seem to work .. so, if you want to get her .. IGNORE her completely. Say to your boyfriend, in front of her, that you and a new friend are going to the beach and then blah, blah, blah about how wonderful and sweet this new friend is, make sure you mention that she's Great !!! .. suddenly, you'll have your Aries girl crawling up your butt to regain her position as number one in your life.

It's a pity that they have to be played like that .. they want sinceriety without giving it and it's a shame, really.

Oh, I just read your post on the previous page .. you already know that ignorance will turn the tide to your favour, lol

Yes, I know what you mean with the Aries' dominance thing.

One reason why I haven't spoke to my guy about it was because I wanted to see how he interacted with her.. it's quite strange, and I'm left puzzled. Besides, my guy is not that greatly standing by my side either. I guess that's how they work.

And we've been ignoring each other for ages. When I ignore her, she calls the libra guy up to meet him, yes! haha... that makes me really pissed.

This is a highly complicated situation. Will wait for the fuse to blow over. Either way, i've already cut her out and don't feel so bad.

Yes, the tide will be mine, because if they're guilty, then I know I can be rid of her, and him, as well, without feeling bad at all.

Thanks, both of you! 🙂

Ok, finally a response from an Aries. Sun, moon & mercury here. I hate to see friends in competition, that is one thing I've always avoided, especially when it came to men. Unfortunately, when it comes to men, we are serious hunters, I will hunt (seduce) just for the sake of it, although I've never done it against a friend but I don't know your friend and she may feel like she's got something to prove. You have to ask her this. Ask her directly, what is going on with her and this guy. Is she interested in him and what has he done in response. Most likely, her seduction, if she feels like she's in competition with you, she will come clean and tell you the honest truth.

Bottom line, this isn't an Aries thing. We like honesty and we don't mess with friend's bf's. Ask her straight up what's going on (make her know that you know what's going on) and add that you'll drop your guy if there is anything dishonarable going on. If she's a good friend she'll tell you, if not, she'll probably drop the flirtation if that is all it is. Maybe you should talk to your guy as well. He is not innocent in this, no matter what your friend is guilty of. The ultimate question is, do you trust him? I've had 'friends' try to seduce my boyfriend but I didn't know until I found out what they where doing and how he responded to them. They did try but he wasn't interested as I found out later. Only until you really know will you feel secure. I wish you the best!

Mistery, thanks for your response.
The thing is I actually like my friend, even though we've been 'in competition' for years. I felt bad because I still met up with her before I sent her the message. And she sent me home in her car! Well, I didn't know what that was about. I just sensed she liked my guy because, well they're pretty good friends, and she didn't want to 'lose' him.

She has a Gemini moon and venus in Aquarius.
Well I am the one who wanted to come clean. Yet I wasn't direct; I wanted her to reveal the details. Her reply was "go find someone else to pick a fight with".
Well really, I don't know what that means? Is she guilty or what? If she weren't she would have said, "WTF are you getting at?" or "What do you mean?"


**He is not innocent in this, no matter what your friend is guilty of. The ultimate question is, do you trust him? I've had 'friends' try to seduce my boyfriend but I didn't know until I found out what they where doing and how he responded to them.**

That's EXACTLY right. I felt that, before I blamed my friend, I prefer to get it clean from HIM first. No matter what, he's still the one who lets it happen. I was biding time to see how he responded to her. Y'know, he has many girl friends, but this one was the only one that seemed like some sort of a threat.

And you know how Aries are with Libra guys. You provide the battery for him - basically he's energized by Aries. For both Libras, we wait for each other to make the next move. So, this is the thing as well.

Update:
The thing now is that I've been ignoring the Libra guy and he's not acting guilty. In fact, I am unsure what he's thinking but he seems to tell me he's done nothing wrong.

Ok, I guess she's not such a good friend afterall. Her responses to me are vague and not 'coming clean'. There's a high chance she doesn't know what I'm getting at though. Anyway I have blocked her, but it ain't easy to block out anyone, especially a friend who's been for years.

Oh, and there's a chance she's embarassed by what happened, so she avoids talking to me about it?
Can Aries be malicious? She has mercury in Pisces though - her words aren't really direct, usually they're cloudy. Perhaps that's why. But I'm pretty sure there's something not quite right.

Roxi, I think you're right.
The Aries girl is always trying to get attention from the guys, put her picture up and dress sexily.

I haven't got a chance to actually talk in a frank, no-hold's barred manner with them about this, but I will soon. (Mars in Sag and many sag placements) I'm not scared of honesty. Just the implications.

The russian girl in your post sounds disgusting (ly drunk).. ugh. If someone pulled a stunt like that in front of my guy, I think he'd be the first to run (!)

* So she does everything to seperate us, and I overlooked that for a couple of years!! Why? I had faith in our friendship. I never believed she was so malicious, until recently she made it so obvious.

You're such a Libra! 😛

* If he would allow the advances of another woman .. then he isn't worthy of me and my love.

IMO, there isn't much he can do about it. Pick better friends. Girls who compete are trouble. It isn't worth it in the long run. She will also be the girll who backstabs and spreads rumours about you. Better to cut your loses. I know it feels like cutting off your arm when you love a friend. I had to do the same. Us damn Libras believe in everyone even when they don't deserve it.

Take it from me, end it now before she destroys your life.

* It would be embarassing if it was a big deal out of nothing.

Libra! 😛

* I have no proper evidence she's betraying me.

Are you trying to be toooo fair?

* I'm still waiting for the right time, but I can feel it coming soon.

I believe a libra's indecision is actually just a mental activity to kill time till it is time to act. We have an *incredible* sense of timing. In the meantime, we are just checking and rechecking facts to make sure we didn't miss anything.

* Ask her directly, what is going on with her and this guy. Is she interested in him and what has he done in response.

This is an excellent point. If you are really good friends, she will talk. Hopefully, she is a really good friend and doesn't go to him with it saying you are really jealous. If she does, you know where your loyalty stands.

* But I'm pretty sure there's something not quite right.

Go with this. Deep down you feel something is wrong and out of line. Trust yourself.

Just make sure in your efforts to be fair to them, that you are also being fair to yourself. 😉

Little_sparrow, you're so right. I'm not sure if I'm being fair to myself. Perhaps it's my moon not aspecting my sun. Can't see myself clearly.. and sun in the 9th always only interested in the external.

I think I made a wrong move again, busting things too early, 'cos now she's blocked me as well and I can't see what's going on (!)

You're so right about timing. Actually I don't consider myself to have very good timing - only very recently have I acted on my intuition and feelings. But the libra guy has amazing timing skills, almost like he calculates them. I put that in his major planets in scorpio houses. The Aries girl, surprisingly, also has great timing. Unfortunately, that great timing is what gave her away.

Now you see what little evidence I have? All I have are based on timing, the way she talks, likes what he likes, nothing else, really. And it's been going on for about a year. But then again I thought the Aries is like this (no disrespect to other aries) , but she's always wanting to throw her temper and insist on things her way, that's why I overlooked it. I just thought, what the hell.

I've been looking at this whole thing very much detachedly, and somehow enjoying the drama. 'Cos this guy I've been seeing is not a new love, but a friend. I thought, what the hell, if she's more compatible for him then I'mma give him up. I wouldn't want this to happen throughout our relationship anyway.

So when I'm going to 'bust' this whole thing, employing whatever sag resources in me, it's gonna be a big thing. 'Cos I will potentially lose 2 people i've been closest to, one, supposedly my love (!) lol. So I have to go slowwly. Very slowly.

The Aries is out of my life already anyway, so now it's another good mix of tricks. I believe the right time will come. She's a better friend to him than me, though.

Argh. You're right about the indecision thing being just wanting to kill time. Hopefully there won't be too much drama and things will end peacefully 🙂

My hope is just to get rid of her, and my guy BETTER agree to that. He has a surprising way of seeing things only from his perspective. Else i'd do without them both. He's away for some time (overseas!) and it's just a block and go, if that doesn't kill anyone.

🙂

Whoop, my guy just gave her a hint to back off. Guess he got my hint; after all this gruelling time. So she's backed off. I'm quite enjoying that, considering he's always insisting he does what he wants.

Seriously I don't know what's got into her. Why does she want to usurp my boyfriend? As Mistery says, perhaps she really has something to prove.

This is not typical aries behavior. Is the libra guy flirting with her and you don't know about it? I have known a few libras who love to flirt. Aries women can be very friendly and we sometimes send the wrong message out. I would talk to her about it, just be honest and you'll usually get an honest answer.

Arieslady, I know it's not typical aries behaviour. I mean *mature* behaviour. I guess when guys are involved she just simply wants him. She never wanted him before I was seeing him. I think my guy has got some blame in it as well; he's not exactly very mature too. He likes getting me jealous so perhaps to see my reaction.

And they're very good (smoke) buddies. I don't smoke.

She's displaying very obvious behaviour now, that's not honest. I did ask her and she gave me an evasive reply. I think it's the venus in Aqua thing..

I know a few other Aries who are very respectable!

They are all probably just a challenge to her..and she wants to satisfy her mind with the knowledge of still being desirable to every man that walked the planet...We had a girl like that in the office...she broke up with her own boyfriend after 4 years (cos he was boring)..I didn't actually kinda feel sorry for her..he was sooo abnoxious and bitter..he also didn't like women in general..hated socialising with women..but then again she always went for status rather than personality or looks..So she decided to flirt with everyone in the office including the 67 year chief Executive!..she finally slept with an Aqua in the office 5 years younger than her..and he had a girlfriend!!..disgusting..

And yes Libras flirt...not sure about the men..but women are terrible..

This aries girl used to have many scorpio boyfriends. Guess she wants to move into libra now.

I just sent her an ultimatum; no reply means consent! No reply yet..

Libras are terrible flirts, but they never follow-up. A social hit and leave.
As for me, I'm too shy to flirt.

Update:
She replied acting innocent and all that.
Dang.
I guess then the devil is me :-[

Spica, I can see that U are both scared and jealous. And I don't blame U since our brand of divine talent surely attracts detractors 😉

On a serious note, Ur Aries friend might be mighty furious with the world in general and hence the weakness.

Dam it you're right - I think she's furious with the world.
I had a scathing note exchange with her, and in the end, she still wants to be friends.
Why? We never got to the heart of the matter. I think she thought I was just picking a fight for nothing. She's that daft, yes?

So, I let out all my steam and she has "no clue" what I'm talking about and still wants to be friends. It's a laugh-cry matter, but I'm used to it.

Chances are, she doesn't know I'm really dating the guy.
(I think everyone else knows except her)

So, let some time pass again. If not, then it's the guy libra.

Yes, I'm scared and jealous. I don't like being played by people I'm supposed to trust.
Tell that to Mr Libra with scorpio tendencies. Very soon he'll get it back!

How I deal with jeralousy..hmmmmm
I'll kill my competitor out of blind rage.
what happens to my girlfriend depends if i am in the mood of forgiveness, since one can't really be blamed for a change of heart.
But if she's falling for a leo stud over me, she's complelely not worth my time.

"And I don't blame U since our brand of divine talent surely attracts detractors"

Aw, missed that at first. Well, it may seem like I'm attacking all Arieses when I'm speaking about just one, but you identifying wholly with her is out of sorts in a way. Besides, you failed to define divine talent, *and*, sneaking up on someone already attached, a friend's guy at that, isn't what I consider very much a talent.

Noted, red_aries.

Red Aries: "But if she's falling for a leo stud over me"

LOL..Not that you have anything against Leo's of course..

They are lovely 😛

"Ur Aries friend might be mighty furious with the world in general and hence the weakness."

So your furious against the world and you guys just start throwing your toys out of the pram?...sheesh..wonder why they call you the babies of the zodiac..I can just picture it now..

Hmph!
Stamp feet
Stomp off..

🙂

LOL...Well, I do it sometimes, though am growing old and less violent. Being a baby is pure bliss U know ? 😛

hey,what the hell you expect. Cheating an aries will only turn into an open ugly fight in the end. An ugly fight with 100 people staring at you and the bastard in the middle of the street and knowing about your relationship. If you got like a thin skin and can't stand being embarassed, better not cheat. At least its better dating a scorpio, pretending to not know anything and secretly plotting your demise.

I dunno, red_aries, what if the Aries is the cheat? Arr..

oh, sorry, i wasn't reading. i thought you were cheating on an aries bf or he was jealous at you with some other guy.

well then give up the fight, and let the aries have her way. Sooner or later, she'll get bored or tired of it and moved on. You ever watch Cruel Intentions from Sarah Michelle Gellar, who by the way, was an aries?

That's what I did, though, but she never got the hint.
So, now I told her that I knew something was going on and just leave it at that.
I'm not sure if she's tired of it or moved on, or is thinking revenge but I've not heard from her for a while.

Oh, I love Cruel intentions. But the producers did not base the characters on star signs, did they? Reese Witherspoon is too an Aries, and Ryan Philippe is a Virgo.

Besides,

"well then give up the fight, and let the aries have her way. Sooner or later, she'll get bored or tired of it and moved on."

This sounds too kind for my own good. I don't think aries should have her way anymore, especially if she's trespassing territory that's not hers. She should be tried like anyone else.
By the way, these are just metaphorical. I wouldn't plot revenge, but I'll just decide if I would dump her from my mind for good.

Its the same Machievellian manipulation crap....you can learn alot from that movie if you want to psyche someone out.

"This sounds too kind for my own good. I don't think aries should have her way anymore, especially if she's trespassing territory that's not hers. She should be tried like anyone else. "

you got to act scorpio against aries, play tough women and you got a hard battle ahead of you. If you have a venus in scorpio, it would be better.

I don't have a scorp venus though..
it's libra/sag.

Haha, that movie's kinda karmic, dontcha think? I'd rather play the good guy.. the baddie loses, and way badly. Though I really liked that movie.. there was another one, I forgot the title.. where the indian girl shot herself and this main lead betrayed her best friend. It reminded me of this show.

I'm not interested to 'battle' with her. I want peace in the end, and don't want someone at my toes..

But that movie was one of my favourites! I think they made it way better than the original, with so much spunk.. i think it was "dangerous liaisons"

Its not about the movie dude, its about learning from the movie and using it in real life.
But if you want peace, i cannot help you then.

Red Aries: "oh, sorry, i wasn't reading. i thought you were cheating on an aries bf or he was jealous at you with some other guy"

LOL..thats just typical Aries isn't it..shoot your mouth off before digesting all the facts or stopping to think

😛

😉

"Its not about the movie dude, its about learning from the movie and using it in real life.
But if you want peace, i cannot help you then."

Can't blame me for wanting peace, dude.. My sign is the scales. War makes me sick, unless I can recruit someone else to jump on the other end of my scales and I can just sit back and watch them fight. 😉

"LOL..thats just typical Aries isn't it..shoot your mouth off before digesting all the facts or stopping to think"

Thats call having a sharp intuition and missing it at the wrong moment.
aka. act before you think.
Its a knee jerk reaction that all aries have. 😛

Pity its never correct eh!

😛