i think i should let him go

i'm thinking about calling it off with him i just found out from someone that he's sleeping with a bunch of girls and some girl he works with she calls him her f*** buddy and he's also still in a relationship with his daughters mom/ex gf even after he told me how crazy she was acting and how she was mad because he didn't want her anymore which i knew had to been a lie but anywho i think i deserve better i feel that if i do call it off he'll respect me more i'm not going to sit around and take all of this from him. his ex gf/bm can, but i'm not. i don't want to give up on him but in order for him to know i'm serious i have to do this even though it's hard and i really really like him i think i should be treated better.
i wonder how he'll take this?

Curious as to why you care how he'll take it especially if he's fucking multiple women other than you. Also did he actually say to you that he's going to be in a committed monogamous relationship with you? Or did you assume it was going to be a committed monogamous relationship?

For the most part he has all that back up booty that he probably won't care, for the exception of his ego being bruised for being the DUMPEE and not the DUMPER, loss of power from not being the one to dump you first. He may take a hit to his ego for being dumped and try to convince you it's all a lie to save himself from feeling rejected but the fuck buddy relationships will continue on, business as usual.

You really don't have to tell him it's over, just move on. Does he really deserve an explanation about why you're leaving? IMO No not really but if you have to tell him it's over then by all means dump him.

Posted by lovelivelife11
i'm thinking about calling it off with him i just found out from someone that he's sleeping with a bunch of girls and some girl he works with she calls him her f*** buddy and he's also still in a relationship with his daughters mom/ex gf even after he told me how crazy she was acting and how she was mad because he didn't want her anymore which i knew had to been a lie but anywho i think i deserve better i feel that if i do call it off he'll respect me more i'm not going to sit around and take all of this from him. his ex gf/bm can, but i'm not. i don't want to give up on him but in order for him to know i'm serious i have to do this even though it's hard and i really really like him i think i should be treated better.
i wonder how he'll take this?

Who cares how he'll take it, you really should let him go sweety. You shouldn't think you deserve better and be treated better - you should know it, but as long as you are keeping this guy in your heart you're not going to understand that and your own self worth and esteem will continue to plummet. TBH he won't even know that you are being serious because he honestly doesn't appear to care that much. If you let him know that you are finished with him he will try to get you back, which will just confuse you more. He doesn't deserve the time it will take to tell him with words, just disappear - silence is the loudest most powerful message you can deliver, but you've got to mean it, don't do this as some sort of trick to make him want you and you only, if he wanted that then you would know it. You are the fruit at the top of the tree, wait for the man who is strong enough of character, soul and spirit to reach you.

Who cares how he'll take it, you really should let him go sweety. You shouldn't think you deserve better and be treated better - you should know it, but as long as you are keeping this guy in your heart you're not going to understand that and your own self worth and esteem will continue to plummet. TBH he won't even know that you are being serious because he honestly doesn't appear to care that much. If you let him know that you are finished with him he will try to get you back, which will just confuse you more. He doesn't deserve the time it will take to tell him with words, just disappear - silence is the loudest most powerful message you can deliver, but you've got to mean it, don't do this as some sort of trick to make him want you and you only, if he wanted that then you would know it. You are the fruit at the top of the tree, wait for the man who is strong enough of character, soul and spirit to reach you.





thanx =) and that's what i'll do i won't say anything i'll just disappear and i don't think he'll like this he hates when i don't talk to him because he'll think somethings wrong but there is something wrong. and if he wanted me i'll kinow it...

but i heard his ex gf goes through the same thing with him sleeping around and i heard he treats her like shit i also heard he messed around with her best friend

Posted by everevolvingepithet
If someone's sleeping around you're just an option to select from or call on when the other options aren't giving them what they want, cakey eaty imo. I'd but more time into someone who doesn't try and treat you like your dumb imo.

exactly but he told me from the beginning it wasn't like that but i think it is

what a disgusting bastard. you don't need him in your life. period. guys like him are nothing but bad energy. these guys are already the lowest of the low so they got nothin to lose. thats why they try to bring vulnerable people like you down with them. you don't have to keep being the victim though. you can walk away. reclaim your power and self respect.

Posted by Jesse91
what a disgusting bastard. you don't need him in your life. period. guys like him are nothing but bad energy. these guys are already the lowest of the low so they got nothin to lose. thats why they try to bring vulnerable people like you down with them. you don't have to keep being the victim though. you can walk away. reclaim your power and self respect.

+1

^^What he said

Posted by lovelivelife11
but i heard his ex gf goes through the same thing with him sleeping around and i heard he treats her like shit i also heard he messed around with her best friend

Hearing it and accepting it is you too are two different things. He won't think anything of it because you are the only one who cares in this situation. I would be more concerned about my own emotional
and physical health. You don't know for certain if he used protection with those other women. Move into focusing on you, what he is doing or feel can not matter right now if you are making a clean break.

You are THINKING about calling it off—??

Keep thinking like that. And who gives a rats how he takes it? It sounds to me like he will recover quickly.





*is this the Aries board?

Posted by lovelivelife11
i don't want to give up on him but in order for him to know i'm serious i have to do this even though it's hard and i really really like him i think i should be treated better.
i wonder how he'll take this?

Emotional manipulation will not work so maybe walking away with some dignity is a good idea unless you like how he treats you.
Do you think this man will change for you?

Posted by Love366

Posted by lovelivelife11
i don't want to give up on him but in order for him to know i'm serious i have to do this even though it's hard and i really really like him i think i should be treated better.
i wonder how he'll take this?

Emotional manipulation will not work so maybe walking away with some dignity is a good idea unless you like how he treats you.
Do you think this man will change for you?

click to expand

no i don't think he'll change haven't talked to him for 4 days now and don't plan on talking to him ever he basically tried to turn the tables on me to try and make me feel guilty when there is nothing i should be guilty about he feels he's done nothing wrong but he has. he couldn't make an excuse to everything he has ever told me, he knew i was telling the truth but wait, he's right and he didn't do anything wrong.

and even after the argument we had he still didn't tell me if he was still talking to or dating his ex gf i had this discussion with him more than once and he still never gave me an answer. he's playing games with me and he's not being straightforward and honest with me. i'm pissed that i had wasted my time on him it was alot of time wasted. can't believe i turned down 3 guys that really liked me, for him.

Posted by bluemoon9043834
Uhm, that's gross.... Aries dudes need women who can stand up to them.... so yeah, cut him off.

what's gross— and i stand up to him all the time i don't let sh*t slide this was just the last straw

You're doing the right thing girl. Walk away, and I disagree with some of the post that say he may not care maybe he doesn't right now because it fun he's partying right now. But reality will set in you??re your gone and all the smoke clears. They always want the one that got away, so get away. And that's not just Aries men that's all men. If you are not a hoe, and you??re a woman with a good head on your shoulders, you don't have a bunch a babies tugging at your ankles, you got your own job and car, beautiful and your smart then that means your rare. And this man WILL regret the day he let you get away just because he couldn't keep it in his pants. All you have to do is snatch his cake from him (you).. too bad for him that by the time he realizes what he lost, you will not want him anymore. Mark my words. Same story different cast.

Posted by ALibra
You're doing the right thing girl. Walk away, and I disagree with some of the post that say he may not care maybe he doesn't right now because it fun he's partying right now. But reality will set in you??re your gone and all the smoke clears. They always want the one that got away, so get away. And that's not just Aries men that's all men. If you are not a hoe, and you??re a woman with a good head on your shoulders, you don't have a bunch a babies tugging at your ankles, you got your own job and car, beautiful and your smart then that means your rare. And this man WILL regret the day he let you get away just because he couldn't keep it in his pants. All you have to do is snatch his cake from him (you).. too bad for him that by the time he realizes what he lost, you will not want him anymore. Mark my words. Same story different cast.

Absolutely.

Posted by ALibra
You're doing the right thing girl. Walk away, and I disagree with some of the post that say he may not care maybe he doesn't right now because it fun he's partying right now. But reality will set in you??re your gone and all the smoke clears. They always want the one that got away, so get away. And that's not just Aries men that's all men. If you are not a hoe, and you??re a woman with a good head on your shoulders, you don't have a bunch a babies tugging at your ankles, you got your own job and car, beautiful and your smart then that means your rare. And this man WILL regret the day he let you get away just because he couldn't keep it in his pants. All you have to do is snatch his cake from him (you).. too bad for him that by the time he realizes what he lost, you will not want him anymore. Mark my words. Same story different cast.

and he knows i'm not a hoe it took me a while to talk to him because i wasn't sure about him, i don't hang out alot, he knows i have only one bestfriend that i hang around and we both do nothing, i work, i go to school, no kids...i don't get how someone tries so hard to get me to talk to him and go out with him (since high school) he moved for one year then came back to our hometown and still wanted me and then after he gets me he acts this way towards me i don't get it but anyway i'm not going to talk to him again.

Omigosh. Your Aries sounds likes mines so much its scary! Yikes. Well I read this and I quote " Aries men are either really good at being devoted and loving to one woman or they are very good at sleeping with different women, nothing in between"

Kinda effed up I know. But the good news is once they've made up their mind that you??re the one and they want no one else, hold onto your drawers and stick to your guns because they will charge full speed ahead in your direction and will not take no for an answer. My Aries was after me since the very first time he laid eyes on me since we were about 7. We had our first kiss at like age 13-14. He chased me for years. Now he has me and doesn't know what he wants to do with me. Let it go, and let them make the decision they NEED to be in charge, and move on your part trying to direct the relationship and they flee. Only returning to see if you've gotten with the program. For me I plan to play along by doing my own thing pushing him slightly to the left until HE gets with the program. You sort of have to flip it on them. Make them "think" they're running the show.

Posted by ALibra
Omigosh. Your Aries sounds likes mines so much its scary! Yikes. Well I read this and I quote " Aries men are either really good at being devoted and loving to one woman or they are very good at sleeping with different women, nothing in between"

Kinda effed up I know. But the good news is once they've made up their mind that you??re the one and they want no one else, hold onto your drawers and stick to your guns because they will charge full speed ahead in your direction and will not take no for an answer. My Aries was after me since the very first time he laid eyes on me since we were about 7. We had our first kiss at like age 13-14. He chased me for years. Now he has me and doesn't know what he wants to do with me. Let it go, and let them make the decision they NEED to be in charge, and move on your part trying to direct the relationship and they flee. Only returning to see if you've gotten with the program. For me I plan to play along by doing my own thing pushing him slightly to the left until HE gets with the program. You sort of have to flip it on them. Make them "think" they're running the show.

smh what's with them— but your right. i want to play him at his own game but it just seems so childish to me, i hate playing games, but my aries moon is up for any challenge so he can bring it on i hope he knows i'm going to win. his birthday is coming up next week and i hope he's not expecting anything from me not even a birthday wish.

Honestly it all depends on what he did for your birthday; only that will determine what he will be expecting from you. If he did nothing, he will expect nothing because they are egotistic and hate to be outdone. If he went all out and he gets nothing, then prepare for him to become the ice king like no other.

Posted by LeoVirgoGirl
WTF?
All you been saying is "heared" and nowhere does it say "I caught him". If you know one of these women go ask her. Some people love to gossip and play God in other peoples lifes because some women are jelous and men usually trash other men so you can be with them instead. Check all your facts first.
Second, from personal experience, I had someone accuse me of cheating before. He never asked me to be his, so I went and got me a FB. Unless you clearly spell out what you want... All is fair play. Good luck.

no i didn't catch him but he clearly said "i didn't know i couldn't sleep with other chicks" sooo he just told on hisself and he said he wouldn't want me doing the same or else he'll leave me ok i found out he's doing the same but it's ok because were not together wtf is that— it's ok for him but not for me he says were not bf or gf but he's sure trying to control me like we are.

he MAY regret it later?
he MAY want her again sometime in the near future?


So what?? is this really the kind of guy she should be associating with at ANY given time— he sleeps around and acts like a little immature kid. just because he's not in a proper relationship with anyone, doesn't mean he has to act like a slut. that just shows a lack of morals. i dont care if you all think i'm outdated. this guy is not someone you should be considering having a future with. it's just common sense.

Posted by Asiza
Men who are not in a relationship with you and wanting you to do NOTHING at all are the ones who are controlling and should be kept away from.

It's understandable if he's sleeping around if you two are not in a relationship because there is no commitment.

If he ever wants to gets serious, then that's when the cards are laid on the table,
honesty, loyalty, and communication would be needed in the relationship with two coming as one.
If he cannot provide that for you, he's wasting your time.

exactly thank you!

Posted by LeoVirgoGirl
LOL
it was exactly what i said ... hahahahah too funny!

"told on himself" - no, Aries and Leos love to brag. Men generally love to brag. You should see my office on monday mornings... he drank this, he had all these girls... three at a time. One guy told me he is "male whore" ... BFS!
Next time he sais something like that ... smile to his face and change the topic 🙂

all i can see is this dude really likes you, scared to lose you and doesn't have the balls to tell you how he feels ... ahahahah...

How did you find out he is "doing the same"?

the girl who said she was his sex buddy said it out of her own two lips lol that's how i found out but he denies it and then says i didn't know i couldn't mess around with other people...smh

Posted by MelanieG
he MAY regret it later?
he MAY want her again sometime in the near future?


So what?? is this really the kind of guy she should be associating with at ANY given time— he sleeps around and acts like a little immature kid. just because he's not in a proper relationship with anyone, doesn't mean he has to act like a slut. that just shows a lack of morals. i dont care if you all think i'm outdated. this guy is not someone you should be considering having a future with. it's just common sense.

not i don't want to be with someone like that. that is why i really don't care if he comes running back to me because i most likely will no longer want him anymore i don't want to be with someone who is going to cheat or try to control me. what i really want is for him to learn that he can't treat good women like this because they won't be with them for long if he keeps acting this way he won't have anyone.

so yesterday i called him and i said "so basically you used me?" and he said "no i didn't use you, you knew what kind of relationship we had" and i said "no i didn't" then he says "your blowing everything out of proportion" i said "no i'm not", "i feel like you used me to get what you wanted from me" i said "were you going to let me know you were going to get back together with your ex/baby mom" and he said "he didn't have to tell me" i think he should have because if he really loved her like he says and cares for her he'd tell other girls to back off because he's back with his ex or he has a gf but he's not he would have let our relationship continue without saying anything. he's seriously playing games and he's not respecting me i told him he's not the person i thought he was and that i hate him. he denied that i asked him what his intentions were when clearly i did. i seriously fucking hate him. he said he'd talk to me in person but never did i knew he wasn't going to come i knew he was just bullshitting me and i think he was putting on a show in front of his cousin while he were on the phone with me.

but i'm done i'm not getting anywhere he's still lying then trying to twist my words around and still doesn't think he's wrong about anything he's playing games i think he just wanted to date me on the side while still being with his ex i don't want to be second to anyone. he's not the person i thought he was and i hope karma gets him good.

Posted by bluemoon9043834
I really don't know why this topic keeps popping up to the top... if you think you should let him go, let him go?

Otherwise, I am having a good day and jamming out to music... and don't care about this topic. So fuck it. LOL.

what i reaaaally need to be doing instead

Posted by lovelivelife11
but i'm done i'm not getting anywhere he's still lying then trying to twist my words around and still doesn't think he's wrong about anything he's playing games i think he just wanted to date me on the side while still being with his ex i don't want to be second to anyone. he's not the person i thought he was and i hope karma gets him good.

Hang on - I thought we dumped this guy a week ago—?

Why did you call him? Was that really necessary?

@Melanie G come now and don't be a hypocrite. I don't care how much the women on this board try to front (which I don't see why they do anyway, its not like we can ever identify you and broadcast it.lol) but EVERY woman on this board has fallen for the wrong one at some point and most just want him to see what they are missing out on, and they want to have the last say so over the situation. No woman wants to feel used and left by the same man that used her. This is why the original poster is even wasting her time with this board. I know that would be my only reason in her situation; to make him see me shining and doing damn good and wishing he would've stepped up. And that's me keeping it 100. I don't give a damn.

In my eyes you WILL regret the day you did me wrong, I have made every last one of my ex's regret missing out on me, Aries, Leo, Sagg, Taurus it don't matter. Men want women they can't control, and women they think they "Cant" have. I agree it shouldn't matter to her whether he comes back or not, but it feels good to be able to shut the door cold in the face of the man that thought he was Mr. King Tuck hurting and using women and now he's fallen. It's like well "Shoulda woulda coulda brotha". Haha. Says it's childish, call it wrong, but it is what it is. Its a bitter sweet feeling when that one man recognizes he should've cherished you whether you want him back or not. It feels damn good. Front if yall want to I'm not.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Why did you call him? Was that really necessary?

maybe i shouldn't have called but i was irritated i wanted him to admit to me his intentions and everything i still feel like i have unanswered questions and calling him i still didn't get anywhere he couldn't stay on the phone with me for more than 5 minutes without saying i'm going to call you back.

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson

Posted by lovelivelife11
but i'm done i'm not getting anywhere he's still lying then trying to twist my words around and still doesn't think he's wrong about anything he's playing games i think he just wanted to date me on the side while still being with his ex i don't want to be second to anyone. he's not the person i thought he was and i hope karma gets him good.

Hang on - I thought we dumped this guy a week ago—?

click to expand

i did

Posted by ALibra
Its a bitter sweet feeling when that one man recognizes he should've cherished you whether you want him back or not. It feels damn good. Front if yall want to I'm not.

=] i know what your saying because my virgo ex did the same with me when we first started out i lost my virginity to him a month after we first started dating then 4-5 months later he dumps me out of the blue and i didn't know why he even said we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend which made me even angrier he took another girl to prom instead of me then 3 months passed and it's after my birthday and we hook back up and get back together then a year later i dumped him because of the way he treated me i just got tired and he didn't believe that i was really dumping him at first but months passed and i never called or texted him he sent me numerous calls and texts and i'd never pick up my phone then one day i answered his call and he asked me why i haven't been talking to him and i told him i broke up with him for good and that's when he started asking me why? and what did he do wrong? and he's sorry and then months to a year passed he was still hooked on me still hoping we get back together and now he has a girlfriend and i'm happy he does but anywho...

Posted by bluemoon9043834

Posted by lovelivelife11


what i reaaaally need to be doing instead

Cool, yeah.. go out with some friends and enjoy life. You only live once, so make the most of it... and live, truly live. I believe in living life right on the edge. I was at a Cub/Angels spring training game today. Couldn't pass it up because it was a free ticket to a suite at the game. But yeah, do you.

click to expand

i'm trying i have only one best friend and a cousin i hang out with and i'm so not the party girl type i like to chill at home and watch movies but i plan on getting out for my 21rst birthday

So, I was just wondering if he did admit to everything you??re accusing him of what would be your next move?

Posted by Love366
So, I was just wondering if he did admit to everything you??re accusing him of what would be your next move?

admit to me what his intentions were but anywho my next move is to do nothing else, and just stop being vulnerable show him that i'm fine without him (which i am) and not worry about him anymore so i'm done. =)

Posted by lovelivelife11

Posted by Love366
So, I was just wondering if he did admit to everything you??re accusing him of what would be your next move?

admit to me what his intentions were but anywho my next move is to do nothing else, and just stop being vulnerable show him that i'm fine without him (which i am) and not worry about him anymore so i'm done. =)

click to expand

There is nothing wrong with being vulnerable because we are all human, but just do that with the person who deserves it.

You wanted to know what his intentions are with you, so when you guys touched on that a little bit during your last convo. did he answer the question?

Posted by Love366

Posted by lovelivelife11

Posted by Love366
So, I was just wondering if he did admit to everything you??re accusing him of what would be your next move?

admit to me what his intentions were but anywho my next move is to do nothing else, and just stop being vulnerable show him that i'm fine without him (which i am) and not worry about him anymore so i'm done. =)

There is nothing wrong with being vulnerable because we are all human, but just do that with the person who deserves it.

You wanted to know what his intentions are with you, so when you guys touched on that a little bit during your last convo. did he answer the question?

click to expand

no he didn't he won't stay on the phone with me for more than 5 minutes and then claimed he wanted to talk in person and never came by my house. i knew he was BS'ing me. i don't know what to do or say he denies that i asked him what his intentions were but i have proof of that. he really thinks he's done nothing wrong. and constantly saying i'm blowing everything out of proportion.

So when is the last time you actually saw this guy?

Posted by Love366
So when is the last time you actually saw this guy?

I think 2 weeks ago

I think it's really obvious here. The way he handled the phone call says enough. All his responses scream shady behavior, and his excuses back that up. He won't TELL you squat. Everything he's doing is typical player bullshit.

Drop the asshat and move on. It really sucks, but keep that in mind when trying to get past all of this. Not getting a direct, solid answer also sucks, but everything he's doing is your answer. He won't admit it because he thinks that you're dumb enough to fool. You calling and putting up with his crap sends off the vibe that you're dumb enough to fall for it.

Again, drop the guy. Not worth it. Learn now, because guys don't get any better until after 25, assuming that they actually grow up (some NEVER do).

Posted by lovelivelife11

Posted by Love366
So when is the last time you actually saw this guy?

I think 2 weeks ago

click to expand

So what was the reason for yall meeting up?

Posted by Love366

Posted by lovelivelife11

Posted by Love366
So when is the last time you actually saw this guy?

I think 2 weeks ago

So what was the reason for yall meeting up?

click to expand

he wanted to talk to me in person about the situation but i think he was bullshitting me anyway, but i could care less anymore