looking for advice on an ignorant Arian guy!

I am infatuated with an Arian guy at work and have been flirting with him for about 2 months. He's a workaholic and although always poses as if he's a popular man, obviously has very poor communication/social skills (no eye contact, nervousness around strangers, very cold and formal when talking business but suddenly acts childish when excited, does not say hi when sees you etc.). At the beginning the communication was only via emails and subtle. He was responding, albeit in short sentences. We exchanged a few conversations in which we discussed problems at work, how tired he was sometimes and I said I could listen to him whenever he needed someone to talk. He said sure but never attempted to meet me so I decided to make my interest more obvious. After I started teasing him for ignoring me, he came to my desk and said hi but he was very nervous. Finally last week I left a book at his office about work-life balance and sent an email saying he's very nice and smart person and I believe he has many interesting qualities so he could reflect them at his work and do much better. Since then he's completely ignoring me. Does not respond my calls, emails and acts like I do not exist. On the other hand, he suddenly started to socialize with people in the office. So I'm thinking my message might have hurt his pride but can not be sure. I've never had any romantic involvement with any Aries before. ?? am sure he knows I have feelings for him but I just don't understand why he ignores me? What should I do now, ignore him as well, confront him or act like nothing has happened?

regardless of his sign, men don't like to be fixed or changed and women shouldn't want to do this in any case. He probably feels critisized by you and and felt you didn't accept him for how he is, flaws and all, which in fact you should do if you genuinely like him. he's not ignorant and he didn't ask for your help.

"Ignorant?" He's uneducated? Or arrogant, like being cocky?

Or he's just ignoring you?

Btw, giving him that book made you look like an asshole. How is giving him a book, essentially telling him "this is what's wrong with you, here's a book you need" going to show him that you're interested in him? You just sent off an entirely different vibe. You went from "a little interested" to "I think this is what your problem is, here's a self help book!"

Sorry, but anyone would be offended/confused.

As for a solution? Talk to him about it and clarify why you gave him the book.

Wow and lol

Idk but it doesnt sound like you like dude at all. You havent even started dating him and your already trying to change him, you know nothing about dude, his past, his future nothing. If i knew someone who possibly was interested in me thought like you did about me i would run the other way.

How are you going to be infatuated with this guy if you have those negative feelings about him?

Aries men can be the best men ever but when they are going through a lot of changes oh my goodness??_.handfull. So, you??ll probably have to make him laugh??_break the ice. Do something whacky to make him laugh.

You can be his shining star ??_. He will probably be open to it if you thread lightly.

Don't fix him let him fix his self. He is just going through a rough patch and probably needs someone to talk to him about things other than issues in his life. He probably needs to get away and you can be his private get-a-way??_hehe??_Have fun with him. Make him laugh.

if somebody handed me a self help book, i actually wouldn't be that offended lol i'd probably read it and get back to them with my thoughts lol god knows my ass could use some improvement lol i mean i'm not perfect and shiit lol nobody is haha

It has now been exactly 23 days. I have seen him countless times at the office, in the cafeteria, passed by him on the hallway, he has not given me even a slight look. Sent him 3 emails (one of them was in French and it was basically an apology letter - turns out that he's been taking French lessons so I wanted to surprise him and show that we have something in common). Did not work. IMed him when he was online and available, never responded. Called him twice on his cell phone, once early evening after work (to make sure he was not in a meeting) and today. I almost broke into tears and finally texted him saying that it's important and I need to talk with him, so could he call me back when he got the message. He never returned.

Isn't that too much? What did I do to him? Kill his dog?? Men, I have had people broke my heart before but never had such a cruel treatment! All I want is to make peace. I have tried everything to set things straight, and now out of ideas. And he's not just a guy that I met at the bar or on the street, he's still my colleague and I'm really wondering what will he do if one day he has to work with me on a project or sit across me in a meeting? He may not like me at all, but he should still respect me and behave in a civil way. Am I expecting too much?

I'll talk with his closest buddy at the office on Monday, tell him what happened and ask his help. Other than that I do not what can I do 😢

Leave him alone... he doesn't want to know you and you're plagueing and stalking him like he owes you something..he doesn't.

What you did to him was you highlighted something about his character that you thought was flawed and instead of liking him, warts and all, you more or less told him that he needed to fix this perceived problem, now you're stalking him and not respecting him..you're being scary. When an Aries doesn't want to know you they generally will not engage with you at all, so that's were you stand, he doesn't want to know you. If he has to work with you on a project in business in the future he will be polite and professional - something which you are not being now. And leave his buddy alone, he will tell him and then the Aries will think even less of you. At the moment the only one being disrepectful and un-civil is you.

Posted by lovingemma
It has now been exactly 23 days. I have seen him countless times at the office, in the cafeteria, passed by him on the hallway, he has not given me even a slight look. Sent him 3 emails (one of them was in French and it was basically an apology letter - turns out that he's been taking French lessons so I wanted to surprise him and show that we have something in common). Did not work. IMed him when he was online and available, never responded. Called him twice on his cell phone, once early evening after work (to make sure he was not in a meeting) and today. I almost broke into tears and finally texted him saying that it's important and I need to talk with him, so could he call me back when he got the message. He never returned.

Isn't that too much? What did I do to him? Kill his dog?? Men, I have had people broke my heart before but never had such a cruel treatment! All I want is to make peace. I have tried everything to set things straight, and now out of ideas. And he's not just a guy that I met at the bar or on the street, he's still my colleague and I'm really wondering what will he do if one day he has to work with me on a project or sit across me in a meeting? He may not like me at all, but he should still respect me and behave in a civil way. Am I expecting too much?

I'll talk with his closest buddy at the office on Monday, tell him what happened and ask his help. Other than that I do not what can I do 😢

damn i wish i could help you but honestly i don't know what the dude's problem is. i thought only little kids resorted to using silent treatments as a way to deal with problems lol adults talk things out but i guess not in this case. and i don't see how he can get so pissed off to the point where he doesn't even wanna talk to you anymore. i mean all this over a stinking book? damn lol some people take shiit way too seriously.
if he can't even appreciate your efforts to set things straight and make peace then just forget about the dude. he probably has some personal issues that are beyond your understanding and it's really not your job to fix them. life's too short. just forget about the dude and move on.

Posted by celticlioness
Leave him alone... he doesn't want to know you and you're plagueing and stalking him like he owes you something..he doesn't.
What you did to him was you highlighted something about his character that you thought was flawed and instead of liking him, warts and all, you more or less told him that he needed to fix this perceived problem, now you're stalking him and not respecting him..you're being scary. When an Aries doesn't want to know you they generally will not engage with you at all, so that's were you stand, he doesn't want to know you. If he has to work with you on a project in business in the future he will be polite and professional - something which you are not being now. And leave his buddy alone, he will tell him and then the Aries will think even less of you. At the moment the only one being disrepectful and un-civil is you.

THIS x68936

Posted by Jesse91

if he can't even appreciate your efforts to set things straight and make peace then just forget about the dude. he probably has some personal issues that are beyond your understanding and it's really not your job to fix them. life's too short. just forget about the dude and move on.

click to expand

Given her current post, I have a feeling that she's left out some details. She's become obsessive about all of it and the initial story has me wondering just how much of an overkill vibe she gave off. She's even admitted to being infatuated with the guy, so she's gotta be giving off some weirdo vibe to an extent. After a few convos she gives him a self help book? WHY would you do that? I reread the initial post and she doesn't even really know the guy. Just had a few convos with him. Maybe he IS weird, but her behavior isn't any better. :/

@celticlioness

I'll speak with his buddy first to consult and understand if the guy has any issue, like a health problem or any other crisis that I may not know of. Then I will ask for his advice on how to approach him (or leave him alone). His buddy is a well respected guy who is older than him and acts like his mentor. He's also somebody that I have a good relationship. So I'm hoping he can be of help.

Also when I see him in the office next time, I will not keep silent. I will go to him and say something like "Hello, is everything allright? I could not get a hold of you for so long." If I say this not in private but when people around, maybe he can respond and I can add a few funny comments and we can break the ice.

By the way you are a Leo right? Are your comments based on your relationship and observation of Aries men? Because you sound like a lioness indeed.

They work together - there is no relationship other than that, he is ignoring her i'd imagine so that she will just stop hasseling him, his next step might be to report her for workplace harrassment to a superior. He doesn' owe her anything.

Yes I have a few details left out. Such as: I am not the only one giving his feedback. We have been working in the same company for 2 years and every single person who has dealt with him told openly to his face at least once that he should go get a life. I have listened several stories about that. My message on the other hand contained several compliments about what a great person he is inside and that he only needs to show that side of him more. And at the end, I even said that if he's happy with who he is, he should not listen to anyone -including me- and keep living life as he wants and never try to change, he did not have anything to lose.

He has a very demanding job that makes him ignore the whole world sometimes. I often see him running off to somewhere while his colleagues say hi to him loudly from behind trying to catch his attention hoping to have a short conversation but he does not even stop and look, he continues running, only mumbles to himself "busy, busy, need to finish this contract" and they just simile and shake their heads. His mind is always allocated to some business, he hears you but does not listen, he looks at you but does not see, he answers you but does not communicate. It's always robotic. He's that kind of a person...

Many people believe that he exaggerates his situation and pretends to be busier than anyone just to cover his social imperfections. "I do not talk to you, not because I am not comfortable but because I do not have time".

As I said in my first post, I teased and challenged him a few times for ignoring me forcing him to come to my desk to show that I was wrong but still he was very very awkward. He only said "Hi miss lovingemma, how are you" and without expecting an answer, passed to the guy sitting across me and told him something irrelevant in a hurry and as soon as he finished his word, he run as fast as he came. Even the guy found that very strange. I remember another time when I went to his office asking for advice on a project (another excuse that I used to get close with him). He has a very small office so he had to stand across 20 inches while I was sitting on a chair. To avoid looking at me directly when speaking, he started to draw a diagram on a flipchart. He was fidgeting constantly and dropped his pen.

It might also be a coincidence but I have heard that 2 weeks ago he started an executive mba type of program and now taking evening classes whole week on top of his already stretched schedule.

Posted by lovingemma
@celticlioness

I'll speak with his buddy first to consult and understand if the guy has any issue, like a health problem or any other crisis that I may not know of. Then I will ask for his advice on how to approach him (or leave him alone). His buddy is a well respected guy who is older than him and acts like his mentor. He's also somebody that I have a good relationship. So I'm hoping he can be of help.

Also when I see him in the office next time, I will not keep silent. I will go to him and say something like "Hello, is everything allright? I could not get a hold of you for so long." If I say this not in private but when people around, maybe he can respond and I can add a few funny comments and we can break the ice.

By the way you are a Leo right? Are your comments based on your relationship and observation of Aries men? Because you sound like a lioness indeed.

Yes, I'm a Leo 🙂 and yes I have a lifetime of interaction with Aries men in romance, business, friendship, family relationships. I'd imagine he felt disrespected by you and when this happened he pulled away, but instead of letting him go off and ponder, think and muse, you did the classic girl thing, and hounded him with an increasing number of texts, phone calls etc. He is now only experiencing feelings of negativity towards you whenever he sees you or your name pop up in a text - he will increase his efforts and resolve to distance himself from you. Men are not women, stop trying to get him to open up and "talk" to you like you would expect your girlfriends to do, Leave him alone, leave his friends alone (this will be a big mistake if you talk to his friend) and whatever you do do not confront him in front of people and ask him to explore his feelings with you - telling him you could not get hold of him for so long is accusatory. Leave him alone...for a long time, and maybe those negative feelings he now has associated with you will dissapate over time. Aries men, any of the ones I know would be running for the proverbial hills at this stage - which is what he appears to be doing.

damn site

—Yes I have a few details left out. Such as: I am not the only one giving his feedback. We have been working in the same company for 2 years and every single person who has dealt with him told openly to his face at least once that he should go get a life. I have listened several stories about that. My message on the other hand contained several compliments about what a great person he is inside and that he only needs to show that side of him more. And at the end, I even said that if he's happy with who he is, he should not listen to anyone -including me- and keep living life as he wants and never try to change, he did not have anything to lose.??

Regardless of whatever way you think you phrased your message you still told him exactly what every other person in your workplace has done — —there is something not right about you and you need to fix it?? And you, who wants him did exactly what the others did — you should have behaved completely the opposite.

Aries — HUGE EGO, fantastic quality to those of us who really appreciate it - you along with your other fellow workers have stamped on it.

—He has a very demanding job that makes him ignore the whole world sometimes. I often see him running off to somewhere while his colleagues say hi to him loudly from behind trying to catch his attention hoping to have a short conversation but he does not even stop and look, he continues running, only mumbles to himself "busy, busy, need to finish this contract" and they just simile and shake their heads. His mind is always allocated to some business, he hears you but does not listen, he looks at you but does not see, he answers you but does not communicate. It's always robotic. He's that kind of a person...??
Yes he is that kind of person — again you have told him in your own way that he needs to change.

Aries — WORKAHOLICS, FOCUSED, DRIVEN — great qualities — you have told him that this very basic character trait that he is naturally born with is wrong.

Thank you everyone who responded. Reading all the posts helps me now to notice details that I have not paid attention before.

I actually did not give him the book in person, that day he was busy as usual and I could not concide him in his office, so in the evening before I left I stopped by his office and since his door was open, just left the book on his desk. A few hours later as I was driving home, it occured to me that when he found the book he would not guess who left it. So I called him. He did not respond at first (probably because did not recognize the number) but after a minute called back. His voice was joyful so I introduced myself and told him that I left a book for him but forgot to attach a note so he should not surprise tomorrow morning. At that moment he asked me something strange. He said "Is the book related to work?" I said in astonishment "No, not really. It's kind of personal, but actually more than that. It tells the story of a company which adopted a new and more social way of organization which empowered their efficiency without increasing workload". Then I added "By the way, don't forget to say hi to me, ok? I do not charge you for words you know" and I giggled. He said "Ha ha, that was good, I like that".

So everything was positive. Next day we exchanged another email in which I asked him if he found it and he said "yes but could not look at it yet". He said he will be able to give me a general overview only the next day. But the next day he did not say anything. So it was the weekend and I sent him that message saying that maybe he did not notice but I have been trying to communicate with him for 2 months but could not progess much. I said I think he had the tendency to take evrything in life as business and shuts himself down to the rest and that might not be good for him in the long run... and so on... I think at that time he was away for a few days, and when he got back next week, he immediaately came to where I sit, said hi to everyone except me, totally avoiding the whole conversations passed between us, never mentioned the book and socialized with people as he never did before for the next couple of days, right in front of me. I kept silent for about 10 days, then sent him a short message only saying how are you, hoping the business is good. No response. And everything started that way...

—Many people believe that he exaggerates his situation and pretends to be busier than anyone just to cover his social imperfections. "I do not talk to you, not because I am not comfortable but because I do not have time". —
Aries WINNERS & ACHIEVERS— the biggest exaggerators I have met — goes with their EGO — makes for some great stories they can weave, again fantastic quality when you appreciate their need for attention and to be winners.

—As I said in my first post, I teased and challenged him a few times for ignoring me forcing him to come to my desk to show that I was wrong but still he was very very awkward. He only said "Hi miss lovingemma, how are you"?? and without expecting an answer, passed to the guy sitting across me and told him something irrelevant in a hurry and as soon as he finished his word, he run as fast as he came

Aries — POLITE and hate when they think they have inadvertently hurt someone, so they try to make amends as he did here — another quality I love, the child realising they have hurt someone doing their very best to make it better.


He may or may not like you, at the moment its hard to say as you have chased him away, leave it alone for a while.

"It might also be a coincidence but I have heard that 2 weeks ago he started an executive mba type of program and now taking evening classes whole week on top of his already stretched schedule"

Girl, your gonna have to get to know your Aries - he has not got a stretched schedule - not in his head anyway. These are the words you are using to describe the way he lives his life. Aries are in the main restless individuals who need to be on the move or doing something all of the time. They can relax very well when they decide to but on the go 24/7 is completly Aries, so don't go projecting those words onto his life style .

Now my theory is maybe he is just not comfortable that the subject changed its ground and moved to his personal space, too quick and more importantly "out of his control". Before it was only about our office, our daily life and issues at work. It was lighthearted. Now it's about his inner space. Also, I have collected quite an amount information on his background, about his family, childhood, the sports he's interested in, his past employers, -no trace of a relationship by the way- his hobbies etc. before I started this chase. So not like that I do not know him at all. I did my homework. On the other hand he does not know me at all. He does not have the time and the connections to make a similar check on me. Maybe that's why he chose to be cautious and decided that doing nothing is much better. (Because whatever he??ll do he thinks he will fail, I told him that's what happening). 😢 I think I am the biggest fool on earth 😢

You did your "homework?" Are you interested or just trying to conquer?

I am just cautious and prepared. I really, really like this guy. I let myself out of a sick relationship with a dependent man just 4 months ago. I was with him for 3 years and never though abouyt leaving him until he left me no other choice. But I must admit, long before I finished up with my ex I was already curious about the Ram. In fact, I remember the very first time we met. He had requested for some information from me via email which I could not help about much, because it was not my subject. Still he had come to my office and thanked me very politely. I had thought "What a nice guy, but why did he ask this from me, it's not even my job and he comes down just to thank—" That was strange as we have never met before officially. And now I want him to come talk with me like he did that time and he does not... Does fate always have to be so unfair— 😢

Sounds like you were transferring the missing emotions from the previous relationship to this guy. Just leave him alone for a bit already. You're essentially trying to force something to happen by being so pushy.

Also, how emotionally dependent are you that you can't even give yourself the appropriate time away from dating to recoup from the previous relationship? I don't trust women who jump from relationship to relationship without giving themselves a time out to emotionally recover. You're just passing on unresolved issues to the next poor sap. :/

Give yourself some down time too.

My previous relationship ended over 7 months ago, but I kept communicating with my ex for another 2 months just to see if that would make any difference and also because I was trying to see if I could help him as a friend. I took that 2 months as down time already. At the end, saw no point getting back with him and ended everything. So I am fine, I have already moved on and I think & feel healthy.

Quick update: Had a very enlightening conversation with his buddy last week. He was very kind to me and did everything to console. He actually seemed to be very pleased of my interest in him, and sounded like he would totally approve and support any potential involvement between the Arian guy and me! He said that I should not worry because he has seen him shutting down on other people over small things like that and he surely would appear one day and ask me out 🙂

Oh and he said he would observe him for a while and make small comments whenever appropriate 😉 He's more than happy to play the matchmaker! We'll see!!!

Of course he has no problem encouraging you two. He wants to get his buddy laid. So naive...

lol...Wow! guys go through all that work just to get laid.

Yes they do. I generally knew that they did before I came across some that really proved how MUCH guys will go through to get laid. It's ridiculous.

I had one guy try to work on me off and on for a year. He finally disappeared when he figured out it wouldn't work.

Not saying this guy is getting his friend to do this for him, but what I'm saying is that when guys see an opportunity for a buddy, they won't mind "helping" move it along. It's not always about the "relationship" factor.

Things have gotten even more interesting: I mentioned earlier that after he turned icy, I IMed the Ram a few times and he did not respond. Since then he knows I'm checking him online because I commented on his status twice in my emails until I gave up last week after I spoke with his buddy. Anyways, he had deleted his latest status update the week before and did not write anything new. I thought maybe he did not want me to see what he's been doing. Yet, after I quit chasing him and ignored him for a week, he wrote a new status message yesterday late at night. Both of us were online for hours and I was about to go to bed and I suddenly saw his update. He wrote exactly this: "Is one able to take something happened back?" Unfortunately my battery went off right after I read it and until I got back online, he had signed off and revised his message to "You can't take what happened back!!". WTF—??

Would you stop obsessing over this guy? Jesus Christ. Get that estrogen under control. At this point, the guy has every right to ignore you and not bother.

I am not obsessed at all. I have left him all alone, no contact whatsoever and I'm ignoring him when he's around. Last week we had lunch twice with a group of people, he came with us but I chose to sit with a different group just to be away from him. We were also in meetings together, same attitude. I want him to see that I'm giving him space and I have my own world to care about but I do not pretend to look hurt, I am the usual me: content, vivacious, clever and kind and I get a lot of positive attention from colleagues and managers these days. I am not sure but although I don't intend to, we are like in a slight competition now; he's trying so hard to win people's appreciation while I get it naturally and that might be pissing him off. He makes jokes for instance but they sound like smart-ass talk; he comments on something which confuses others then I make another point and people like that better; so right now it's like I'm proving he really needs to improve himself. But really, I don't intend at all to make him look that way. It just happens. And maybe because of that he's still holding a grudge but he's so stubborn to admit that he can use some help from me.

He was sitting right across me in one meeting this week and I have not even looked at his way. And when we were leaving the room, I catched him looking at me, confused. He wrote that message that evening. I don't think that it was a concidence. I am almost sure that message was addressed to me.

Honey, you have issues. Seriously.

You are obsessed and you are beginning to sound slightly deranged. You are living a fantasy and projecting your own thoughts onto him and retelling them here as if they are his thoughts and feelings and he has shared them with you. I mean, you're even talking about a facebook status update as if it is aimed at you!! WTF—

If he knows you are stalking him online then he is seriously unimpressed by you. You have completely tried to emasculate this Ram and you don't do that, to either the males or females, I told you - get to know Aries, you did it all wrong and you've failed already. Are you a Gemini?

I do not have issues. I simply like this guy. I care about him. And I want to be able to communicate with him again. His buddy advised me to give him space and I agreed. I have read other threads about "Aries Ice" and I think that's what I'm getting now.

Guys you are the ones who are creating fantasies! I'm not stalking him online. No way that I'll do it! I was not talking about Facebook at all. I don't use that sh*t. I was talking about the internal IM application that we use in our company. Everybody see one another there. Finally I am not a Gemini. I am Cancer.

You are stalking him whether you admit it or not. Cancer, you'll never let go.

Posted by lovingemma
I do not have issues. I simply like this guy. I care about him. And I want to be able to communicate with him again. His buddy advised me to give him space and I agreed. I have read other threads about "Aries Ice" and I think that's what I'm getting now.

Yes you are being Iced, and forgiving and all as those Aries can be it's highly unlikely in this situation. You should just give this up and move on. You don't sound like you care about him btw, I could repost the "terms" you have used to describe him but I don't think it will make a difference to you or your obsession.

How can I be obsessed over something if I am able to control the way I deal with it and if it does not cause any change in my mood or the way I live? I enjoy my life to the fullest. I think about him during the day sometimes and before I go to sleep yes, but you do it for every person who makes your heart go wild, don't you?

I will just be a patient lady right now. If he forgives and opens to me I will be nice to him and will try not to repeat what I've done.

I have an Aries brother who once stopped talking to me for a couple of months over something that even was not my fault. I had scheduled a flight for him but because he did not comply with one of the airline's travel rules he was not allowed to fly and he blamed me for that just because I was the one who got the ticket but he was so pissed off that he wanted to forget about the whole event and I understood years after that it was his way of staying sane. If he spoke with he that would have reminded him what happened and he would get angry and he did not want that.

Of course I can not be sure but I "think" this guy is doing the same. I remind him now something that he already has trouble dealing with so in order to forget about the problem or the experience itself he also wants to forget about me.

Well he may never speak with me again, I am aware although I believe this is very unlikely, considering that we are working together and at some point he will have to contact me for work. In addition, I have told his buddy exactly the whole story from day one and he said he did not have the slightest doubt that the guy will be back soon and talk to me like nothing happened. He knows him really well, so he would not have given me any hope if that was a possibility.

omg. firstly let me qualify what i'm about to say with the fact that i was with an aries man for over 20 years and have an aries daughter and close gf.

secondly. read this thread back to yourself and ask yourself very honestly if there's not something slightly unbalanced about the way you feel about this man. my guess is that his silence has sent your 'infatuation' into overdrive and you've totally lost perspective of the man you're dealing with. your head is stuck in 'he loves me, he loves me not' mode and you're not dealing with it very well at all cos the first way to deal with it is to RECOGNISE what you're doing!!!

it's obviously your need to give him a self-help book together with a patronising note mentioning some of his 'qualities' (although you hardly know him) that has sent this guy running in the opposite direction. to be honest...he no doubt thinks you're a total fruit loop...i know my ex husband would've laughed his head off if someone did that to him. i don't know any aries men who would read a self-help book anyway....don't know any straight men per se who would read one. don't you know it's mostly a girl thing?? noticed anything girly about an aries man? lol.

if a man starts ignoring you, let it go. you should never send more than one email (if you must) and if that's ignored, you walk away.

seriously, you're wasting your time an energy having angst over this man. you blew it. you completely anihilated his ego and undermined him with the book. it was a gesture that told him...'if you improve yourself to my standards, i might let you fuck me'...ridiculous. who does that!!??!!

The problem was not the book. It was the email. The book was not even a self-help book. I used it just as an excuse to get close and I admitted that in the email so he knows I was not actually trying to patronise, it was just my cover-up.

There is something else: His friend told me he is well aware of his own flaws (he admits he has flaws, not to me but to his close environment he does). His friend did not say what was the root cause but hinted that it was related to a chilhood experience; maybe his parents and his way of upbringing, I do not know but something important has happened and left a scar. He's been trying so hard to fix himself since then and his friend said "you can not imagine how harsh he's being to himself sometimes". That's why I said in my post that the talk was very enlightening for me.

Okay the guy is an Aries but his personality is more important than his sign and I am trying to get to know the whole package now. But the way he reacts was completely in line with his sign 🙂 I am so glad that I have found this website, I would never have known about the Aries ice and would be confused to death. At least I can understand now where he's coming from.

Now leave him alone. Seriously. You're infatuated with someone you barely know.

Awww leave lovingemma alone...she has a bad crush on this guy that's all. He's gotten under her skin and she's hooked!

And celtic I remember you and I discussing our Aries men that we were obsessed with!!!

I don't see how checking someone on Facebook qualifies as stalking...that's why it's out there in the first place..I've checked many a person's status on there, no harm done. I once had a guy that was interested in me tell me he used Google Earth to look at my house and zoom in on my street!!!!! I was kinda flattered, not creeped out at all...I knew he really liked me and wanted to know about me! Not a big deal. I'll just bet you have all checked out someone on Facebook or googled someone's name.

Oh and that did not sound like a self help book to improve "him", it sounded more like a how to balance life and work book, if you read her post again. There's is nothing wrong with sharing an informative book with a co-worker or friend. It's not like she said, "Here you need this!!" "You're all screwed up" Jeez Louise!!

And whether this is an Aries thing or just people being jerky...I do the ignore thing all the time...call it ice if you will but I do do it when I am upset with someone or p-ss-d off....but for me(maybe not office guy)I almost want the person to come to me saying, "What is the matter, what have I done?" "Let's talk about it"
Only because I am FUMING and want them to know they have hurt me. Aries brat, silent treatment, ice, childlike however you want to say it. We have tempers for sure.

Posted by sunshine222

And whether this is an Aries thing or just people being jerky...I do the ignore thing all the time...call it ice if you will but I do do it when I am upset with someone or p-ss-d off....but for me(maybe not office guy)I almost want the person to come to me saying, "What is the matter, what have I done?" "Let's talk about it

This is so true....we just want to talk about it. However as you wrote people only think Rams are throwing a fit. We are freaking hurt...I swear sometimes I don't think people can comprehend we have feelings too.

Honey, there's a difference between crushing and being creepy about it. She's going about it all wrong, period. I'm not an Aries male and I'M turned off by her "persistence." It's not just the infatuation bit, but the parts where she admitted to communicating with him via email and she makes it sound like she's addressing a serious relationship issue when she barely knows the guy. No wonder he ran the other direction.

Facebook or not (which, btw, she already stated it WASN'T Facebook), if she's on there monitoring his statuses THAT closely and interpreting it as being directed toward her, she needs to slack off a bit.

She's infatuated and obsessed with something that she can't have. Again, he's her little project that she's idolizing in her head. Get a reality check already.

Yes, I CAN be quite critical since I used to do some pretty similar, stupid crap when I was much, much younger. Eventually, you pick up on what you should and shouldn't do without coming off as nutso. As you grow up, you stray from that stuff because you realize that ain't right. Regardless, she's being told that she's coming off as batshit crazy and all she does is argue by showing how much more she obsesses over the guy and his every move.

Posted by sunshine222



And whether this is an Aries thing or just people being jerky...I do the ignore thing all the time...call it ice if you will but I do do it when I am upset with someone or p-ss-d off....but for me(maybe not office guy)I almost want the person to come to me saying, "What is the matter, what have I done?" "Let's talk about it"
Only because I am FUMING and want them to know they have hurt me. Aries brat, silent treatment, ice, childlike however you want to say it. We have tempers for sure.

This is not directed at anyone here, just another reason I just block people out is if they are batshit stupid and there is simply no point talking to them. Or if they don't believe me or if they have done some thing unspeakably hideous and had every chance to explain themselves and chosen not to do so.

We're Aries. We have stuff to do. Get it sorted and move it along or off with its head.

Posted by sunshine222

And celtic I remember you and I discussing our Aries men that we were obsessed with!!!

LOl, not at all - what I had was a mutual attraction with an Aries man which is normal, we just wanted different outcomes to our mutual attraction. I never looked him up, asked his friends or colleagues about him, told him he should change nor used derogatory words to describe him and still don't. And I actually knew/know the man very well he was not someone I work with and barely knew. We did end up in a short lived relationship in the end. Attraction is completly different to obsession. One is a normal human reaction the other is abnormal.

Whoa wait a minute! The facebook comment was just random, not really directed at emma.

The comment was just to make a point that I have never considered checking someone out on facebook as "stalking", for ME its just a way of checking someone out, "stalking" is a whole dif ballgame, but some people use the term when one is just sort of poking around on there and I think there is nothing wrong with that ...does not really apply to emma's situation.

Ummm all I was trying to do was to "understand" emma a little bit. I have had obsessive crushes..not to the point where I am actually "stalking" but to the point where I was wanting to make it work out with the person, and tried to communicate. I would never come on here and make another poster feel crummy about what she/he may be going thru.
Yes we have all learned the right and wrong way to handle a possible love interest...maybe she has not learned that yet, or maybe she does not know how to deal with it...all I was suggesting was that we give her a break. Most likely she is not "nutso" or coming off as nutso, just maybe in need of some kind advice. She may be "fantasizing" about a relationship with him, simply because she "likes" him. Whenever I have had guys act like this with me I never thought they were nutso or coming off as nutso...I understood that maybe they just really liked me and wanted to pursue a relationship with me. I would always tell them nicely, "Please slow down a little" etc. I think the fact that this guy is acting like a baby and wont even talk to her is childish. That's just friggin courtesy.

And please do not call me honey...it's condescending.

Celtic you are a sweetheart!!

rnap I don't not really block out stupid people, that's kinda mean to call others stupid...I just come to a conclusion that we are not compatible on some terms and have nothing in common and do not think alike, but I would never be cruel.

The world is in such an icky state right now...do we really need to bicker on the Aries board??