looking for advice on an ignorant Arian guy! (Page 2)

Posted by sunshine222

I would never come on here and make another poster feel crummy about what she/he may be going thru.
Yes we have all learned the right and wrong way to handle a possible love interest...maybe she has not learned that yet, or maybe she does not know how to deal with it...all I was suggesting was that we give her a break. Most likely she is not "nutso" or coming off as nutso, just maybe in need of some kind advice. She may be "fantasizing" about a relationship with him, simply because she "likes" him. Whenever I have had guys act like this with me I never thought they were nutso or coming off as nutso...I understood that maybe they just really liked me and wanted to pursue a relationship with me. I would always tell them nicely, "Please slow down a little" etc. I think the fact that this guy is acting like a baby and wont even talk to her is childish. That's just friggin courtesy.

And please do not call me honey...it's condescending.

That was the intent, sweetcheeks. I have no respect for those who decide that coddling one like this is the way to help them. It doesn't help them. Giving someone a "break" who's behaving like this does nothing but encourage their behavior and they will continue to do so until they get REALLY hurt in the long haul. Understanding is one thing, but you're making excuses, which tells her it's perfectly okay to behave like this.

This guy in particular could be acting like a brat, or he's picked up on her weird behavior and has distanced himself. I know I've done that with guys who behaved a little too weird. There's a point where you have to nip it in the bud.

Lala land isn't the most ideal place to live in. I suggest you try to remove yourself from it and start living in a more realistic mindset when it comes to behavior like this.

OMG, I have not checked my thread in three days, and was not aware of the debate that my little story caused! Thinking I had bored everyone enough already, I had gone out and was making myself busy with other things 🙂

I repeat that I am not obsessed over the guy at all. I know what obsession means, I had that about 10 years ago once when I was younger, at a time I was sure love could change the world. Well it does not. And I repeat: I have already left the guy alone, so no need to tell me I should do it. It's been more than two weeks that I have not contacted him or showed any other kind of effort, an interest, anything at all. Even when I was sending those emails or talking to his friends I was not doing it out of obsession I was just trying to understand why he was doing it and was trying to apologize to him. I have contacted him only 4 or 5 times over a 3 weeks period and I do not think it's too much. Think about it: You send a message to someone and if it's not replied, you don't assume there is an issue. You just repeat your message. It's also not replied? Then you change the subject and ask for a confirmation "Hey, are we okay, is everything right? If there is a problem, please tell me". If that's also not replied, only then you understand the person is doing it knowingly and you either go silent or send a final message "If you don't want to talk, I understand, whatever I did I don't know but fine, if you don't want to share the reason I'm leaving you alone." This is normal communication and takes a minimum of 4 messages!

It's over or not over. We don't know yet. Because we still work together and we see each other everyday, whether we like it or not. Circumstances and feelings may change. Yet, I know very well that I can only hope for it. I can not make that happen. In addition, I like this guy but I am not sure if we are compatible or not. This incident does not prove anything though. I have had strong friendships that started with arguments before, I even dated guys that I totally disliked when first introduced. I believe in this world everything happens for a reason. So I am leaving this to the course of fate. We'll see. Thanks everyone for your contributions! I'll keep you posted if anything noteworthy comes up.

Posted by lovingemma
OMG, I have not checked my thread in three days, and was not aware of the debate that my little story caused! Thinking I had bored everyone enough already, I had gone out and was making myself busy with other things 🙂

I repeat that I am not obsessed over the guy at all. I know what obsession means, I had that about 10 years ago once when I was younger, at a time I was sure love could change the world. Well it does not. And I repeat: I have already left the guy alone, so no need to tell me I should do it. It's been more than two weeks that I have not contacted him or showed any other kind of effort, an interest, anything at all. Even when I was sending those emails or talking to his friends I was not doing it out of obsession I was just trying to understand why he was doing it and was trying to apologize to him. I have contacted him only 4 or 5 times over a 3 weeks period and I do not think it's too much. Think about it: You send a message to someone and if it's not replied, you don't assume there is an issue. You just repeat your message. It's also not replied? Then you change the subject and ask for a confirmation "Hey, are we okay, is everything right? If there is a problem, please tell me". If that's also not replied, only then you understand the person is doing it knowingly and you either go silent or send a final message "If you don't want to talk, I understand, whatever I did I don't know but fine, if you don't want to share the reason I'm leaving you alone." This is normal communication and takes a minimum of 4 messages!

It's over or not over. We don't know yet. Because we still work together and we see each other everyday, whether we like it or not. Circumstances and feelings may change. Yet, I know very well that I can only hope for it. I can not make that happen. In addition, I like this guy but I am not sure if we are compatible or not. This incident does not prove anything though. I have had strong friendships that started with arguments before, I even dated guys that I totally disliked when first introduced. I believe in this world everything happens for a reason. So I am leaving this to the course of fate. We'll see. Thanks everyone for your contributions! I'll keep you posted if anything noteworthy comes up.

NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! that is NOT normal communication at all!!! OMG it doesn't take a minimum of 4 ignored mess

fucking thing. i was saying that it doesn't take a minimum of 4 ignored messages to realise you're being IGNORED!!! if you're not obsessed with someone, one ignored message is enough.

Posted by lovingemma

Even when I was sending those emails or talking to his friends I was not doing it out of obsession I was just trying to understand why he was doing it and was trying to apologize to him. I have contacted him only 4 or 5 times over a 3 weeks period and I do not think it's too much. Think about it: You send a message to someone and if it's not replied, you don't assume there is an issue. You just repeat your message. It's also not replied? Then you change the subject and ask for a confirmation "Hey, are we okay, is everything right? If there is a problem, please tell me". If that's also not replied, only then you understand the person is doing it knowingly and you either go silent or send a final message "If you don't want to talk, I understand, whatever I did I don't know but fine, if you don't want to share the reason I'm leaving you alone." This is normal communication and takes a minimum of 4 messages!

Ok something came up. (I'll continue on my original thread to keep the story in one place):

Aries dude started commenting on my status updates reguarly. I was not sure at the beginning but now have no doubt. His first message 3 weeks ago was "can you take something happened back?" I did not respond to this directly but a few days later changed my status to "only the final result counts". Then he wrote "not over yet" and I did not change mine. 2 days later he added exclamations to his original message. Then I changed mine to an old quote meaning something like "A word is a two-edge sword" referring to my words hurt him. The quote is a tricky one taken from a poem and it has double meaning when you read it in that context. I found that very clever and put only the first line with "..." at the end. He was online and after only half an hour he updated his status to double smileys. Still to make sure he's not writing to someone else, I checked all other users' (we have about 70 employees in our company) status updates and there were only 4-5 people with status messages and they were either location or functional information. Nothing interesting. Then I put a new update "start your day with a smile and end it with laughter". This was this morning. he deleted his status and has not put a new one up yet. Both of us are in training since last week, in separate groups and locations though so most likely I will not be able to see him until next week.

P. S. He normally does not change his status updates often, I have seen him displaying the same message for months before. And before he was only writing well known quotes or something French. So noble!

Ok now you can shoot me with your ROFLs and LMAOs and "stop stalking!"s...

Posted by lovingemma
I am infatuated with an Arian guy at work and have been flirting with him for about 2 months. He's a workaholic and although always poses as if he's a popular man, obviously has very poor communication/social skills (no eye contact, nervousness around strangers, very cold and formal when talking business but suddenly acts childish when excited, does not say hi when sees you etc.). At the beginning the communication was only via emails and subtle. He was responding, albeit in short sentences. We exchanged a few conversations in which we discussed problems at work, how tired he was sometimes and I said I could listen to him whenever he needed someone to talk. He said sure but never attempted to meet me so I decided to make my interest more obvious. After I started teasing him for ignoring me, he came to my desk and said hi but he was very nervous. Finally last week I left a book at his office about work-life balance and sent an email saying he's very nice and smart person and I believe he has many interesting qualities so he could reflect them at his work and do much better. Since then he's completely ignoring me. Does not respond my calls, emails and acts like I do not exist. On the other hand, he suddenly started to socialize with people in the office. So I'm thinking my message might have hurt his pride but can not be sure. I've never had any romantic involvement with any Aries before. ?? am sure he knows I have feelings for him but I just don't understand why he ignores me? What should I do now, ignore him as well, confront him or act like nothing has happened?

you should be mysterious leave him alone, you most likely hurt his pride but also turned him off, if he has no communication skills go easy on him but be persistant dont let it slip away

Posted by lovingemma
Ok something came up. (I'll continue on my original thread to keep the story in one place):

Aries dude started commenting on my status updates reguarly. I was not sure at the beginning but now have no doubt. His first message 3 weeks ago was "can you take something happened back?" I did not respond to this directly but a few days later changed my status to "only the final result counts". Then he wrote "not over yet" and I did not change mine. 2 days later he added exclamations to his original message. Then I changed mine to an old quote meaning something like "A word is a two-edge sword" referring to my words hurt him. The quote is a tricky one taken from a poem and it has double meaning when you read it in that context. I found that very clever and put only the first line with "..." at the end. He was online and after only half an hour he updated his status to double smileys. Still to make sure he's not writing to someone else, I checked all other users' (we have about 70 employees in our company) status updates and there were only 4-5 people with status messages and they were either location or functional information. Nothing interesting. Then I put a new update "start your day with a smile and end it with laughter". This was this morning. he deleted his status and has not put a new one up yet. Both of us are in training since last week, in separate groups and locations though so most likely I will not be able to see him until next week.

P. S. He normally does not change his status updates often, I have seen him displaying the same message for months before. And before he was only writing well known quotes or something French. So noble!

Ok now you can shoot me with your ROFLs and LMAOs and "stop stalking!"s...

you sound desperate, why do you like him so much hes a weirdo others ran away from him, though its not my business its yours so... hmmm u should get a life, go out with friends, and invite him to tag along, always try to go out with friends and always invite him to come with u so that he gets used to you

If you like this guy or any guy be a bit mysterious. Sheesh Im a Aries female and I get extremely turned off with people who can't let nature take its course. Like had you shown genuine interest in the Aries male maybe as a friend first and tried to know him for who he is good, bad and ugly and THEN you gave him that book i'd understand. From the sound of it you barely knew him and just because you work with him doesnt mean you know him at all, don't assume that. I work wtih alot of people I barely know and I wouldnt one day because we say Hi and by in passing or make fake small talk that it was appropriate to bust out any books that have to do with self improvement.

Also the title of the thread tells what you think of him " looking for advice on IGNORANT aries guy". When someone uses the term ignorant its usually negative yet you speak as if your so positive and how much joy you can bring to dudes life. Maybe he is effed up and he has every right to be that way, you dont have to induct yourself into that or his life. YOu really sound like you think your better than this guy, and he doesnt need that no one does.

GOT SOME GREAT NEWS: HE IS BACK!!!

The Arian ice has melted and he is now warmer than ever! YAY! 🙂

Yesterday morning he had come where I sit to talk with some people. But unlike other times, when he was leaving he turned his head looked at me and gave a very quick and slight smile. Although he did not say anything I was surprised because for the past 1,5 months, he was not looking at me and turning his head the other way whenever he saw me around. I waited till the afternoon, he stopped by a second time right after lunch and again looked at me. I was expecting him to say something, he did not. So before I left the office at 5, I went to his office. Knocked the door and he signaled to invite me in. He was serious and quiet. I said "Can I take only one minute?" He bowed his head, waiting.I said "So, are we okay now? I mean, we are talking, right?" He again bowed his head with an approval and shrugged his shoulders meaning: "Sure, why we should not be?" I was relieved so much. He noticed that and cracked a shy and waggish smile, but poor puppy was not able to keep his eyes on me for more than one second! He finally said in a pleased and confident way: "Relax Emma, relax". He repeated this a few times in different tones but with the same smile. He was like he knew about my crush and he was happy. Then I said "I... just could not... think... that things would go so far...and...I am so sorry... if I... offended you". I was not looking at him and was playing with a piece of paper in my hand. He noticed my voice was trembling and said softly "Come on, relax, there is nothing to be sorry about". I said "Thank you" in a hurry, without looking at him then bowed my head and left his office. He was so adorable during the whole encounter and my stomach was burning when I got out. God, these guys are indeed put you in fire!

SOOOO, LET THE FESTIVITIES BEGIN!

...mkay

Posted by lovingemma
GOT SOME GREAT NEWS: HE IS BACK!!!

The Arian ice has melted and he is now warmer than ever! YAY! 🙂

Yesterday morning he had come where I sit to talk with some people. But unlike other times, when he was leaving he turned his head looked at me and gave a very quick and slight smile. Although he did not say anything I was surprised because for the past 1,5 months, he was not looking at me and turning his head the other way whenever he saw me around. I waited till the afternoon, he stopped by a second time right after lunch and again looked at me. I was expecting him to say something, he did not. So before I left the office at 5, I went to his office. Knocked the door and he signaled to invite me in. He was serious and quiet. I said "Can I take only one minute?" He bowed his head, waiting.I said "So, are we okay now? I mean, we are talking, right?" He again bowed his head with an approval and shrugged his shoulders meaning: "Sure, why we should not be?" I was relieved so much. He noticed that and cracked a shy and waggish smile, but poor puppy was not able to keep his eyes on me for more than one second! He finally said in a pleased and confident way: "Relax Emma, relax". He repeated this a few times in different tones but with the same smile. He was like he knew about my crush and he was happy. Then I said "I... just could not... think... that things would go so far...and...I am so sorry... if I... offended you". I was not looking at him and was playing with a piece of paper in my hand. He noticed my voice was trembling and said softly "Come on, relax, there is nothing to be sorry about". I said "Thank you" in a hurry, without looking at him then bowed my head and left his office. He was so adorable during the whole encounter and my stomach was burning when I got out. God, these guys are indeed put you in fire!

SOOOO, LET THE FESTIVITIES BEGIN!

SO all this means something to you? Seems like you making things up in your head

No bella, this was not in my head. He had shut me out of his life completely but now everything is back to normal, even better. He's responding to all of my messages, answers my calls no matter how busy he's. He's more receptive to what I say. Before he was kind of indifferent as I told, but now he does not forget to show his apprecation if I do something for him.

I learned my lesson and I am thankful that I have not lost him for good. He is such a great guy! I am being very careful not to repeat what I did. So now in everything I say to him I always add something small to stroke his ego and show him that I'm his biggest fan (without being clingy of course). And he likes it so much!

So we are okay now but his fuel is not yet ignited. Damn, I wish I could have only one hour alone with him, without any distraction! I could let him see me for who I am but he is so busy and away and when he's around at the office it's so hard to go and make small talk... And I do not want him to think I am an easy girl. Yet I try to make my interest obvious.

He's on travel this week again and when he gets back I will have a surprise for him and let's see if I can earn that hour.

I'm curious. Why do you want an hour with him?

Make love? Ha ha...

To talk of course. How else two people can know each other and develop closeness?

Am I the only one picking up a "creeper" vibe?

Yes you are the only one apparently.

Please go and rain on others threads if you feel the urge because my skies are blue...

And those ladies who like Aries boys: don't give up on them. I think they are worth the ride, all ups and downs and everything... As one lioness stated a few pages back, we need to learn to appreciate their qualities: They have very high self-esteem, the greatest sign of leadership. So, put them in charge. As long as they hold the wheel they are happy and will take you whereever you want to go.

Posted by lovingemma
Yes you are the only one apparently.

Please go and rain on others threads if you feel the urge because my skies are blue...

And those ladies who like Aries boys: don't give up on them. I think they are worth the ride, all ups and downs and everything... As one lioness stated a few pages back, we need to learn to appreciate their qualities: They have very high self-esteem, the greatest sign of leadership. So, put them in charge. As long as they hold the wheel they are happy and will take you whereever you want to go.

Honey, that wasn't addressed to you. You can't answer a question like that when you are in the MIDDLE of your wtfery.

Posted by capricornmoon
Your a cancer but you definately have Saggitarius or gemini in your chart cause right now you are on the planet of DELUSION,AKA NEPTUNE, AKA SAGGITARIUS AKA ON THE AXIS OF GEMINI. funny enough, i see my younger, not that old(god forgid, lol) in you. if you are not lying and he is subltly( did i spell that right for the spelling bee police?) communicating with you, then it is only HEAD GAMES sweetheart, he is playing with your head because he knows, not that you are, but he knows that you appear to be bat shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt crazy.

click to expand

Apparently I'm not. 🙂

CM- Agreed. I think we all had a phase like this in our teens/early 20s. But you tend to grow out of it, too...

I don't know about other Aries but as soon as I figure out there is game playing going on I run. Game playing means I can't trust the person.

Posted by Love366
I don't know about other Aries but as soon as I figure out there is game playing going on I run. Game playing means I can't trust the person.

Well put. Game playing, no matter how entertaining it is, is a way of dancing around the truth of it all and shows you and that person will not have good communication (Which is key in any relationship). Meaning you will not know where you stand and will inevitably get hurt in the process.

I don't see why OP can't just find herself another man. It's not like this guy has all these interests and stellar personality that sync up with her. Besides that if you were to date this aries and things were to go sour later you'd have to see him everyday and it'd be even more awkward. Trust me, I know from experience. And it's harder to get over them when you have to see them nearly everyday. bleh

Posted by Love366
I don't know about other Aries but as soon as I figure out there is game playing going on I run. Game playing means I can't trust the person.

Thiiiisss.

Posted by capricornmoon
but i had to let him go, he has ignored by "attempts" to reconnect even though my attempts were not as embarrasing as your attempts, thank goodness. But rockyroad and all the other posters, including the one who tried to sympathize with you are all right. LET HIM GO.

I've had to do this too and the guys weren't even Aries. It's just a general rule of thumb with guys. If they aren't responsive, freaking drop it.

My stupid ex started playing games and it just turned me off to bothering with him anymore. It's seriously lame when someone plays with your emotions like that. Eff that noise.

Posted by happykitsune
Besides that if you were to date this aries and things were to go sour later you'd have to see him everyday and it'd be even more awkward. Trust me, I know from experience. And it's harder to get over them when you have to see them nearly everyday. bleh

click to expand

This too.

I think you are all crazy and I'm not gonna spend anymore time reading your bullbutter comments about me. You have no idea where I live, what kind of culture I am part of, what is considered as right or wrong around here and what is acceptable behaviour. And you're pouring all this sh*t like you all are the masters of relationships. Well, take a look at you own miserable lives and broken hearts then.

I like this guy, I made a mistake and took the wrong approach at first but thankfully things are straightened out no matter what you said and now I have a good friendship developing with him. He did not reject me before and is not rejecting now. And certainly he's not playing head games, and neither I do. All I feel about him is genuine. He is not treating me badly now, it's over. Now he is kind, appreciative but a bit too busy/distracted and have some personal issues which I totally respect. So it will require more time and effort on my part to be his real friend but I will do my best and then who knows what's going to happen.

Is it that hard to get it for you?

Posted by happykitsune

Posted by Love366
I don't know about other Aries but as soon as I figure out there is game playing going on I run. Game playing means I can't trust the person.

Well put. Game playing, no matter how entertaining it is, is a way of dancing around the truth of it all and shows you and that person will not have good communication (Which is key in any relationship). Meaning you will not know where you stand and will inevitably get hurt in the process.

I don't see why OP can't just find herself another man. It's not like this guy has all these interests and stellar personality that sync up with her. Besides that if you were to date this aries and things were to go sour later you'd have to see him everyday and it'd be even more awkward. Trust me, I know from experience. And it's harder to get over them when you have to see them nearly everyday. bleh

click to expand

Hehe that really wasn't even for the OP but I figured out long time ago she wants she wants although its not necessarily a need. Two men came in and gave her imput. Flew over her head so to me this what she wants. More power to her. I hope all works out well.

I will put energy into someone that really needs advice and is ready to recieve that advice. This is a waste of time and energy. I have no idea how we are going to be experts on relationships or give her advice on relationships when she is not even in a relationship with his man. To me people in here care because if they didn't they would be on to the next. Check out the other posts people have made on the Aries boards and we didn't even give it a second look.

In all honesty I think the OP wants someone to read what she is writing and not offer advice. If she wanted to know what his kind gestures meant she would have asked the Aries on this board instead of assuming what he is doing means anything but what it is.

Lovingemma, follow your heart, but I agree with some of these people here that you're coming off as a bit agressive. Smile at him when you see him around or just nod but don't always be the first one to make conversation. Let him initiate conversation sometimes. Be a bit more feminine, while aries men appreciate direct honest women, they also a big fans of feminity. Yes, it's a big achievement that the guy has finally come round now and is responding to you but don't forget that's because YOU ignored him. So do it again, i'm not saying totally ignore him again, but be sutle, act coy, play it cool, give him nice sexy smiles, but leave it at that. He will come to you. But if you keep chasing him, you're not leaving any work for him to do. He's just enjoying the attention. Men like to make the effort remember it's in their instinct, they want to earn the prize. Make yourself that prize. Good luck. I hope you will get this guy.

i think some of you ladies are being way too hard on this girl. it looks like things are finally starting to look up for her and we should be happy for her. i don't think the way she went about this was creepy at all ( her approach was a little unique and different from the norm but not creepy). i can see she really cares for him. afterall she put in all this work, right? lol it's kinda admirable in a way lol

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Ignore the ever cheerful on here, there's not even been any Aries guys adding input for a start!

aries guys don't have enough attention span to read all this lol

Posted by MelanieG
i think some of you ladies are being way too hard on this girl. it looks like things are finally starting to look up for her and we should be happy for her. i don't think the way she went about this was creepy at all ( her approach was a little unique and different from the norm but not creepy). i can see she really cares for him. afterall she put in all this work, right? lol it's kinda admirable in a way lol

Uh, didn't you fall for some guy you barely knew? You assumed something was there but he turned out to not be interested and was dating someone else?

No offense, but you approached your situation in a strange fashion as well and look how that panned out for you- he wasn't interested and got into another committed relationship. But because you fed all these ideas in your head and didn't pay attention to what was actually happening, you saw it completely wrong.

This girl is doing the same thing. Don't encourage it. Especially you, should know that when you feed delusions it can lead to disappointment and heart break.

Overall, it's not a bad thing per se, but women have to learn to keep themselves in check. Estrogen makes us do stupid shit and if you just sit there and allow yourself to fall into these delusions that you create, all based on things you WANT to see, you end up making things a mess and in the long run, you're suffering because you couldn't open your eyes.

It's completely understandable because of course, we all want things to work out like we hope. When we like someone, we want them to like us back. Therefore we start looking for signs telling us that they DO like us. Unfortunately, this also leads to reading into things that really don't mean squat. You ponder and can't help but think MAYBE trivial matter A means he likes you, but in the long haul, you gotta get your shit together and wait for the typical obvious signs. Not some stupid smile or mistaking friendliness for interest.

lol oh my gosh don't remind me!!!! lol

😢
i'm still sad about it....or more like embarrassed lol
ok so maybe i'm not exactly well-qualified to contribute to this topic but i still feel like we should be happy for her that things are no longer awkward between her and the guy lol

as for me and whistler boy.....i'm sure there's still hope lol we're talking again 🙂
but as of right now i don't see any signs of him and nerdy aqua breaking up 😢 so in the meantime i will be focusing my attention on making myself more attractive (both outwardly and inwardly) lol who knows? maybe he'll change his mind once he sees the new and improved me! lol but even if he doesnt thats ok. at least i'll know i tried 🙂

I wasn't trying to slam you, my bad. Just trying to make a point that you were doing the same thing and that very same behavior wasn't helping you any.

It just bugs the shit out of me that we have so many coddlers on this website giving advice and filling poor females' heads with delusions and it's just NOT helpful (especially for the ones who behave like a crazy ho). False hope is not a cool thing. Having hope is fine and nice, but you gotta be realistic too.

I look back on the "advice" given to me with misc. guys and too many gave me such bs answers. I didn't believe them fully, but looking back, their advice was freaking ridiculous and just making it worse for me to get over with/deal with.

In her case, if it works out, hooray. But she needs to freaking control herself and realize some of that behavior is NOT okay and will NOT do her any favors in the long run.

lol it's ok 🙂

Lovinggemma, don't be discouraged by the way he is treating you. For sure hedoesn't hateyou or something but by the way things were happening, it only shows that he is not really into you, YET. I'd rather be honest with you so it's easier for you to understand.
What you are doing for him was so sweet but then again the book issue probably hits him on the head. That's why he was trying to ignore you. Iam pretty sure he didn't get offended by the book issue but maybebecause it is not his thing. Aries loves to have someone to listen and be there for them. giving him a book doesn't count at all not unless something that he likes to read.
You mentioned that he was ignoring you, give him some space. The more you keep on pushing yourself to him, the more he will be distant.
If he is not responsive to any of your calls and txts, leave it for a while. I would say he is not comfortable with the way you are treating him, which on my part there is nothing wrong with what you are doing for him but most probably he doesn't like the idea.
Just give him some space, eventually he will be nice to you again but not comfortable as before. You can never tell, we may have same traits but we are still all different individuals.

I have the same issues with a colleague of mine. We are both aries and we went along well at first. He would bring coffee at work and after work and very accomodating when i am around. We became comfortable for a week but then he started asking me things that has something to do with relationships to a point that he wants me a to have relationship with him and asking me more questions. I felt off right away and started avoiding him. He asked me for a dinner so we could talk and i said we can talk but i'd rather have it in a coffee shop instead.

So we talked and explained to him everything and told him honestly that i don't feel anything for him straight away. I don't lie with my feelings so i would rathertell him the truth. I don't hate him but i could bare looking at him or even talking to him i don't want to start any conversation with him that would lead to another question about what went wrong between me and him.

With you lovinggemma, my aries friend and you has the same issue with different scenario. The avoiding issue of your aries colleague has something to do with the way you are treaing him, maybe suffocating him in that manner. Just give him space, you will be surprised he'll just come to you and start a conversation.

Lovinggemma, don't expect also if he started talking to you. Just be casual and confident. I hope this would help.