Was he insecure, did he want to finish?

Hi

I have been involved in a LDR with an Aries man for 6 months. I am a Saggie.

We are from different countries, cultures and religions !!!

We met via the internet and I have visited him a few times. We get on so well in person but I get uncontrollable jealousy online when I see he has followed other women, although he says he does not speak with them?

If I question him, he shuts down and threatens to not speak with me as he does not like going over the same issues. We do not resolve the issue so it is still out there for me.

There was one woman that he followed and he liked a lot of her posts, and she him, but she is married with a small child so I don't think she is interested. Probably more one sided.

The last time I visited, we chatted and he told me that he did speak with her but not like he does me. That she was a nice lady etc.

They no longer follow each other.

He has been a bit busy lately but our communication was just picking up.

We skyped on Saturday and things got steamy as always. He mentioned that I had been busy out and about lately as I had posted this online. I don't know whether he was envious or not.

He knew I was visiting a night club later that night and told me to have fun.

In the cab, on the way to the club, I checked twitter and he had liked 6 items of this women's.

I am struggling to find why he would do such I thing. Is he still interested in her? Why pick that day of all days after two months to like her posts? Is he jealous and he wants to start an argument?

I text him and asked him was she really worth it? No response.

I then text him three days later to say that I could not and would not compete with her and that if he wanted to pursue her then I respected that. I asked him to remain friends and let me know he was okay. Still no response.

He has not been online since this happened on Saturday Night. Is he avoiding the conflict?

I am devastated as I adored this man.

Please help and advise what I should do

Thank you!

Thank you for your responses. I know I lack so much confidence as I have just gotten out of a twenty year marriage that was not working for a long time. Have not had these does he, doesn't he issues for many years.

I desperately want to speak with him again. He is avoiding social media. If we were done he would be all over it following new people, right?

Each time I feel like reaching out, I see the posts of hers that he liked and I feel like launching my phone / pic across the room.

My friends say let him come to you.

He always told me I did not understand him and I am trying my best and see all the little things he does that show me he cares.

I think if I went back and he followed this woman again and her him it would kill me.

I don't know what to do!

Does he still want me?

senorita_LL

I hear you. I'm territorial too. Also tell people what I feel and go after what I want. I don't think I'm needy, just straight up.

The last argument we had, I flew to his country as he was not speaking. I needed a break and thought I would kill two birds with one stone.

The first day I got there I expected to see him at the airport, but no show. I cried so much when I got in my room, but was determined to enjoy myself. The next evening he contacted me, wanted to talk. We made up and had a good time!

My extreme need to resolve the situation wants me to reach out again. How can I not be me?

It's difficult ☹️

Senorita LL

As an aries, I appreciate the fact someone is protective and territorial. It means devoted and committed, loyal. Problem is when it turns to accusations and non existing situations created from that protection. Aries have no time for solving imaginary scenarios and insecurity issues because I personally consider as that time wasted from spending on something nicer and better thing together.

It's a like on a post. He's not propositioning her for sex.

I think your out of line here. You will continue to alienate him if you can't get over your own insecurity. Ldr is not for you. Let this guy go and date someone who is nearby.

Yes, he does not like accusations, and always asks that we enjoy our limited time together.

He knows how I feel about her though, would he play a game just to get a reaction from me because I was out enjoying myself?

Aries men, would you do that?

Lady Neptune

You are right, I was out of line, I took it too personal. It just seemed all badly timed.

I know I can't control the outcome of any relationship.

I gave in and messaged him today, explaining myself, asked him if he considered giving me another chance. Told him that I missed him and that I have no ego, only honesty. I hope he comes back.

I will wait a week and then will regrettably move on

Posted by Supes
You need to get secure with yourself and get some confidence.

Like you? Having fiancé and pming women on dxp?

Posted by Supes

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Supes
You need to get secure with yourself and get some confidence.

Like you? Having fiancé and pming women on dxp?

Lol. That was like 2 years ago.

click to expand

Fiancé or pming?

If pming - you must be a pro so Rocky still remembers it...what ta heck did you do to her fragile brain?

Posted by Supes

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Supes

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Supes
You need to get secure with yourself and get some confidence.

Like you? Having fiancé and pming women on dxp?

Lol. That was like 2 years ago.

Fiancé or pming?

If pming - you must be a pro so Rocky still remembers it...what ta heck did you do to her fragile brain?

Pm, it’s all good.

click to expand

So Rocky IS mental as I suspected...

Well...what are you doing here having a fiancé and supposedly wedding is in works?

senorita_LL

I live in London, he lives in Istanbul.

I dont know how into me he is. When he found out I was there he text asking how long I had been there, was I alone. He came to see me and he was quite dishevelled, which is unusual for him.

He spent lots of time with me. On last day he insisted he took me to airport, I did not want to put him out as being Turkish he has a lot of family commitments. He insisted saying, I did not have chance to pick you up so I am taking you back, he always picks me up and drops me off.

He then proceeded to drive everywhere trying to find a doner restaurant that was open as he wanted me to have one.

Things he does like this makes me think he cares. There are no worries when we are together.

Posted by Senorita_LL

Posted by Sheever
Senorita LL

As an aries, I appreciate the fact someone is protective and territorial. It means devoted and committed, loyal. Problem is when it turns to accusations and non existing situations created from that protection. Aries have no time for solving imaginary scenarios and insecurity issues because I personally consider as that time wasted from spending on something nicer and better thing together.

Right. But sometimes, you have to understand

too.

Women are sensitive creatures. I don't care if some of them here, said they are not bothered with stuffs like that, that would means they don't really care about their men.

I have noticed that Aries can be quite selfish too. I don't quite get that mentality though.

There's nothing wrong if you explain things rather than just give someone a silent treatment. That's not fair. :/

click to expand

Silent treatment is the worst thing in my opinion it gets no one anywhere. You can't build anything on it. Not sure about other aries, but as myself I dedicate my love to the one I am with and make efforts every day for her,and always show her how I feel. That is not just absolute natural and the other can feel it. I can't pretend things, I show and say what it is. So question me or even worse case accusing me is not good idea as it shows no trust from my partner while I ensure her of my commitment. It's kinda like no matter what I do, it's still for nothing. I appreciate trust and openness towards each other. Luckily I am very understanding and emphatic so usually not handle these things hardly. Sometimes it's kinda annoying to repeat things as I hate wasting time on things doesn't make any sense and nonexistent. However I rather look at as I am important for her Nd she does not want to loose me. That is nice, even in the same time is annoying. 🙂 my love is a cap, so I know caps are extremely cautious creatures so I also bare that in mind also past bad experiences can hit new relationships badly, I guess it takes time to some woman to get more chilled and not stress themselves on this. I don't do such things, I think showing example as well beneficial just as it shows trust.

senorita_LL

Maybe one day in the future if it all works out and I'm in the position to move.

Turkey is a beautiful place as are the people.

I know he wanted to come and work here for a while but he was looking at very short term and he could not get a professional job short term. He is in marketing and loves his job, he is always working.

He was a bit down the other week as he felt he needed to improve himself. He was just applying for a visa to go to Poland for a few days for work.

That may have took its toll on him as he had to provide a lot of paperwork. Unfortunately the Turkish passport is way down on the list for influence.

Anyway it was the first time he seemed really down, and opened up a bit to me.

He admits that he finds it difficult to fall in love.

He also admits he is very selfish. One day when we argued I told him that it was not all about him and thanked him for thinking of me for once.

He had an outburst telling me I was correct and that he did not think of anyone else, this is me etc.

Still dont know whether he meant it or was sarcastic. He speaks very good english but we have problems communicating feelings and nuances, better when we are together.

But he makes me smile, makes me happy, makes me sad

Senorita_LL

What sign are you?

Yes, I'm as jealous as hell, he says it's good to be jealous but that I handle it all wrong. Generally getting my back up and walking out on him.

I did try to mirror and follow a load of turksh hunks, or hunks in general, but it's not me, so I unfollowed them!

Yes the people are beautiful in looks and towards others, family is such a big thing for them and they visit relatives at all times of the night as they like catching up.

I visited turkey on my honeymoon many moons ago and both me and my husband (Capricorn) said we wanted to live there one day. It did not work out for us but msybe it will for me.

Thank you for taking the time to speak and your support. You are amazing!

Senorita LL

I never been selfish, only selfish about attention from my loved one. 🙂

Thanks for the kind words

She says I am a rare diamond, and she is definitely a rare one. We had our fights, mainly for these issues but it just brought us closer to each other.

If you adored him so much, why are you acting like THAT psycho girl?

Some of you chicks really need to understand that your insecurities are your damned problem and the second you make them someone else's, uninvited, you will lose them at some point in time. Then you cry about it.

Ramifications for crazy bitch behavior. Learn from it and don't do it again.

Hi RockyRoad

Yes, I will try to learn from this.

No one has answered my question though on whether he is playing games.

I have seen on other threads where Aries say they do if they feel they are not getting enough attention.

I stopped saying Hi to him every day and was more relaxed and posted items about going out with friends and my son.

When we next spoke he asked what was new with me, Out of routine, and said As far as I can see you have been to museums and nightclubs with friends.

I told him the nightclub was a one off but I have been busy and will be taking up dancing for additional exercise as I had stopped doing pilates, which he said is good for the body.

He was okay after that and we Skyped, but like I said he must have gone into twitter and onto her page as they no longer follow each other and liked six of her posts. One of her doing pilates, one of her and her son etc.

This man is really stingy with his likes. He maybe does one a month.

Was he intentionally winding me up? It felt like it.

Yes, he might just want attention, testing if you check him and want your response to ensure your intention.

If he have no any interest in you, he won't talk at all to you

Sheever

Well his not talking to me now. He has avoided twitter for almost a week and is not responding to my text messages.

Is there any form he can trace your activity, any social sites or platforms?

If not, he is over you. If yes he might monitoring you before deciding to cutting you loose if he see no interest,or in state of hesitation but disconnect from you to not have any influence in his decision.

Hi Sheever

Yes twitter but I have not been on today, I did not quite understand what you mean though?

Hi Sheever

I think he is checking in on twitter and can see my posts.

As an Aries, what would you want to see?

An upbeat person who is enjoying themselves or lots of said quotes and miserable love songs?

I did praise another guys photographic skills, but he is a much older guy and my message was kept in public.

I just don't know what I need to do ☹️

I would check for activities if there was any attachment and you didn't broke trust, or betrayal. But would definitely get in contact as my responsibility for the relationship is equally 50% .if not looking for any contact with you more than few days I suggest just let him go, you guys had no strong attachment from his side.

Sheever. Will do, thanks for your comments

Chris x. Sorry!!

Sheever - lastly would you avoid twitter to avoid a girl?

It depends, if I joined because keep contact with you at the beginning yes. If I was already there long ago, no

Posted by ConfusedSag1
Sheever

Well his not talking to me now. He has avoided twitter for almost a week and is not responding to my text messages.

Are you dense?

This isn't playing games, it's, "I'm fed up with your crazy and packing the hell up."

Women really need to stop replacing reality with these fucktard hot button words like, "games," and "testing."

HE IS NOT INTO YOU.

Now let's try it as an example, shall we?

"He's distanced himself, hasn't talked to me for a week. Is he playing games??"

Correct sentence- "He's distanced himself, hasn't talked to me for a week. He's not into me anymore is he?"

Or

"He's been treating me like shit suddenly and distancing himself. Is this a test to see if I really like him??"

Correct sentence- "He's treating me like shit and distancing himself. Is he not into me anymore??"

Nine times out of 10, women on this site can replace "confused" with "I refuse to see reality because I'm acting like a desperate hoe, clinging to a man who treats me like dog shit because for some stupid reason/or he's just over me and moving on, I think he's the only man I'll ever get in a lifetime."



But overall, in your scenario, he likely got tired of your insecure, crazy hoe shit. People have a limited tolerance and how fucked up are you that you expect him to take you back after all that garbage? In this case, you're the one being the asshole here and you expect a chance when you won't even change or get some therapy?

Leave the dude alone. This isn't any "game," it's just you desperately trying to see some sort of sliver of hope he's a doormat and will take your emotionally abusive ass back.

rocky road - Okaaaay

I hope you are not the resident councillor, cause you really suck at it!

Thank you bittercupcake and soda pop.

Yes I guess I need to have time out before I jump back in again!

I posted some stuff on twitter yesterday, and it was liked by some iother Turkish guy who follows me.

Anyway about half an hour later, I get a notification that the guy I was seeing had posted something. Interesting.

I took a look as when he posts he normally follows people at the same time, a kind of look at me.

He had followed one person, this other woman.

The only way I can view it is he is an insecure game player, as if he was really back on twitter, he would be following lots of people.

Anyway she has not followed him back 😂

But he went on about how she was such a nice lady, that I thought I may as well follow her myself! And she straight away followed me!

Proof is in the pudding on how he will react to that, will he unfollow me?

I mean me and her could be having all sorts of discussions.......

Hi me again

Still confused by this mans actions although I am ignoring him now and not paying him any attention, except on this forum.

Yesterday morning I tweeted a couple of things on twitter, just good morning meme's. Anyway with in minutes he had like one of this other ladies items. Now she basically tweets all day long so he could have liked her stuff anytime.

So he either is notified when I post and is doing this to get a reaction from me or it's a coincidence?

If a reaction, why? If he wants to piss me off and finish, why does he not unfollow me?

Sorry missed something out. He did not tweet anything of his own, just liked her tweet while I was online.

He is pretty much staying away from twitter

I told you earlier, he might just monitoring, avoid direct contact and "testing" you. You must been hurt his feelings with something, but you re probably not neutral for him. If you remember you dud something or said possibly hurt his feelings you might can try to be nice and approach that way, or if you don't want to make efforts just stop monitoring him. You two does the same thing

I don't see what the big deal is.. does he like your posts & pictures? They're just pics.. we live in an era of liking pictures .. pretty sure this Aries man got the f#** its & doesn't want the hassle of ridiculous arguments, especially with LDR 🤷🏻‍♀️

Good god, she's not getting any of it.

The OP is dumb as hell.

Twenty year marriage? Freaking seriously? I thought the chick was 20.

Get your shit together, OP. You're not a kid. Stop acting like one.

And dxp. If your mind is clear it's good to have a brainstorming of ideas with strangers to define the best route forward. Otherwise it just adds more confusion.

people saying it's just a picture online. then why not keep scrolling?

Posted by tiziani

Posted by carrazeda
And dxp. If your mind is clear it's good to have a brainstorming of ideas with strangers to define the best route forward. Otherwise it just adds more confusion.

lol true i was feeling like a hypocrite saying I'd give up twitter when I'm still logging on this place

click to expand

We can all do with a bit of trash entertainment in our lives as long as you don't take it too seriously!

Hi Sheever

I did nothing wrong that I can remember, we texted back and forth for an hour, I mentioned visiting a waxwork museum, he said maybe they should make one of him so it keeps me happy. I agreed whole heartedly. Said it may get a bit man handled. He said he hoped that he could visit and I agreed.

We then Skyped and MM (you can figure out what that is).

When then text again and then he had to go and I said I need to get ready to go out.

The rest is history. He liked her posts, he knew I had issue with her, not so much issue but doubts. He said before she was a nice lady and very pretty, at the time I said cheers for that!

I just don't know. Part of me misses him and wants to reach out incase he cannot swallow his pride but I've done that already, I can't do it again

PS thanks everyone else for the comments 👍

I had multiple guys do this shit. Say they liked me then they were all over other girls on Facebook and Instagram. So I stopped being friends with them online because it avoided any and all insecurities that were caused from social media. No one wants to feel that way.

So then my current bf of almost two weeks at the time wanted to be Facebook official. I have 0 friends on fb because I was only using it as a background check for all of my online dating perspectives. I told him I didn’t want to be friends on there because of what I explained above. He promised me I wouldn’t have to worry about that and bes been true to his word ever since. So moral of the story, if a guy wants to really be with you, he will do whatever it takes to make things work and for you to be happy, not sad

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Fragrance
people saying it's just a picture online. then why not keep scrolling?

Because you don't get a notification for every 10,000th time a user has kept scrolling.

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lol... still better than getting a notification that usually says "hey I'm dating smb but I find you attractive and you should know that *wink*"

sure if you're not that invested, I get it, but if you're in love - I don't

I let it go, but no one has convinced me in the "it's just a like" thing yet... intention precedes action

when you like a friend's picture the intention is different. perhaps it's just me because friends are like family to me

well I don't know... it's only my subjective truth after all 😀

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Fragrance

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Fragrance
people saying it's just a picture online. then why not keep scrolling?

Because you don't get a notification for every 10,000th time a user has kept scrolling.

lol... still better than getting a notification that usually says "hey I'm dating smb but I find you attractive and you should know that *wink*"

sure if you're not that invested, I get it, but if you're in love - I don't

I let it go, but no one has convinced me in the "it's just a like" thing yet... intention precedes action

when you like a friend's picture the intention is different. perhaps it's just me because friends are like family to me

well I don't know... it's only my subjective truth after all 😀

Lol yes I was already thinking about the objective reality talk too.

I can't say I feel strongly about this because I'm not on those sites. I guess I'm just pointing out (having worked in analytics like my next evening dinner depends on it) that online activity doesn't give that kind of insight into a person's mindset.

A lot of likes don't convert into action honestly. I wish they did. I'd be richer for it.

But I know this is off topic of what you're getting at.

Also if you really want a depressing thought, something like 84% of twitter users are bots. If there is intent there, maybe we are becoming a world of bot fetish.

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Lol :-)

". . . that online activity doesn't give that kind of insight into a person's mindset."

I agree... I was starting to generalize and also went off topic myself because I didn't even refer to twitter

"A lot of likes don't convert into action honestly. I wish they did."

*intention intensifies* 😁

jealous and/or possessive people have brutal interpretations of their partners' motives as well as unsound assumptions

still, there's a chance they're right

I suggest neither side overreacts in favor of cooperation 🐼

Hi so I'm back

After two weeks of avoiding each other, I sent him a Hi, hope you are okay message today, he responded and said all was fine and that he was in Poland for a few days, I responded that I was glad he was okay and good luck. Did not add any kisses just approaching as a friend.

I think that is all I can manage with him as he makes my blood boil in a romantic relationship.

If he continues being friendly and texts me back I will have to keep him at arms length.

He has many good attributes but the chasing young skirt is not one of them.

Would an Aries want to be friends only or no interest. Is him responding to my text a good sign of friendship or politeness?

Help please - thanks

Hiya. So I'm back again and this guy still confusing the hell out of me.

So we did not speak for a few weeks, and then i attempted to talk to him but he was still stubborn. I got annoyed and basically swore and cussed him out, told him he was incapable of a relationship etc.

A few days later I apologised and said I hoped one day he would talk to me as a friend, and that I thought the world of him, that he was the only person I would travel 2000 miles to see.

The next day he unfollowed the other woman and unliked her nine tweets that caused the argument.

So we continued to follow each other and I liked a few of his tweets and then he started reciprocating. I then sent a message via tweet and he messaged me back and we spoke for a while.

So fast forward a couple of weeks and I'm on twitter just tweeting and chatting to a few people all above board online, hiding nothing. Anyway I send he a message and within about an hour he has followed her again?

Is this a coincidence?

He wished me happy birthday and had a long chat other times and when I mentioned going out alone he asked if he could join me, so he seems semi interested but why does he have to keep chucking her in my face and at times when he knows I can see?

An Aries men out there know the answer?

Am I the only one who thought of a different "finish"? Oh boy these kid really need help now!

So far, the best thing that guy did for you in all these months was to press a button to like something you posted.

You want better and you deserve better.

He has multiple women with who he has a "LDR" with.... if they go to see him (like yourself), he accepts it, its not really hard to be with someone, who is going to leave in a few days... there are others to come in the next days

continue this only if you accept he is "seeing" other women as well.... are you okey with it?

this is not a relationship, only in your fantasy

Thanks all. Yeah I really need to pull my head out of my arse with this one. I can see that. Well I have only mentioned being his friend to him lately so hopefully no loss of face. Cheers!