CAPRICORNS....I need help!

To start off, the man I'm talking about is a capricorn sun, taurus moon and I am a pisces with an aquarius moon. I own my own business and teach yoga on the side (i'm very ambitious, every capricorn mans dream, right?!)

anyways,

I have a man that has been coming exclusively to my yoga classes for the passed two years. after about a year of him being my student and him opening up to me and reaching out to me I could tell that there was something more there and out of character I suggested that we hang out, outside of me teaching him yoga. We did. We started seeing each other and hanging out regularly (1-2 times a week) for about 9 months. I really fell for him at this point and I could tell that he did too but I could also tell that he was keeping me at a distance and holding back. Long Story short I brought up the "what are we doing here" convo, 9 months in, and he replied by saying that he really cared about me but that he wasn't sure yet because it hadn't been long enough for him to know where he wanted to take our relationship. We spoke for two hours on it and he just kept saying he cared, wasn't ready and was focused on work and apologized for being selfish but didn't want to stop seeing me. With that, I took a biiiig step back. He kept initiating us hanging out and still came to my yoga classes but i took intimacy off the table- I needed us to just be friends so that I could get my head back and decide what was best for me as I was/am emotionally in it with this guy.

I took time to date around and do me but I still saw the capricorn man when he would ask me / only when I was free. Finally after a few months and him trying we did sleep together again, two times. Both times, and specifically the last time, I could see it in his eyes and his words/actions how much he liked me, but I know that he is still not going to let himself feel that or tell me that. I am very intuitive and I pride myself on being able to tell how someone feels.

After the last time we hung out where I could tell his feelings, he disappeared. It has been two months he completely stopped asking me to hang out. He is still coming to my yoga classes though (and there are a million other classes and teachers..so why still come to mine?!)

I haven't done much to chase him - I did text him a few times to see if he was ok but he just gave me the "i'm so sorry work has been keeping me busy" (typical capricorn). Anyways... he's coming to class, sending me songs for my playlists, staring at me and keeping eye contact while I teach and I can tell he's holding back. I just don't know what to do at this point....

help!!!!??

Let me also add that when we had the "what are we" talk I never told him what I fully wanted but I did tell him I didn't want to see anyone else and eh said he wasn't seeing anyone else but If I needed to that I could / should. so that is part of the reason I started dating around and slowed it all the way down with him.

I never fully told him that I am willing to be patient and wait on him and that I wanted to be with him to see him succeed and help him follow his dreams (which is what I wanted to tell him) Instead I just got kind of emotional (as a pisces does) and told him how I didn't want to see someone else etc., (again, this was back in febuary)

Posted by Gobby

When at least half of the female dxpers come here looking for advice about their Cap man, it's not help they so desperately need - it's patience...

you're right... patience is something i'm trying to learn...

What do you know about him?

Ever been to his place? Friends on social media? Do you have any access into his life outside of the yoga class interactions. Have you met his friends??

Reading this makes me think he has a gf or wife.

Posted by confusedpiscesgirl

Posted by Gobby

When at least half of the female dxpers come here looking for advice about their Cap man, it's not help they so desperately need - it's patience...

you're right... patience is something i'm trying to learn...

click to expand

I disagree. Wanting to know where things are headed after 9 months of dating isn’t impatient, it’s SANE.

If he’s trying so hard for sex stop giving it up. Right now he holds all the power because anytime he wants something, you give it up. But when you want to know where things stand, he’s not willing to play ball.

No more sex without him stepping up. Otherwise your just wasting your time and pussy on someone whose not gonna give you the relationship you want

Posted by LadyNeptune

If he’s trying so hard for sex stop giving it up. Right now he holds all the power because anytime he wants something, you give it up. But when you want to know where things stand, he’s not willing to play ball.

No more sex without him stepping up. Otherwise your just wasting your time and pussy on someone whose not gonna give you the relationship you want

I completely agree. It is fully off the table. I go to his place all the time no sign of any other girl and he told me he's not seeing anyone else. I get people lie all of the time but I highly doubt he is lying about that.

Posted by LadyNeptune

What do you know about him?

Ever been to his place? Friends on social media? Do you have any access into his life outside of the yoga class interactions. Have you met his friends??

Reading this makes me think he has a gf or wife.

and yes we are friends on all social media as well as I go to his place regular and I have met a few work friends.

Anyone else have anything to add?

Really care for the guy don't know if to just sit back and wait or make the next move or what...

Posted by Caplove

Posted by confusedpiscesgirl We started seeing each other and hanging out regularly (1-2 times a week) for about 9 months. I really fell for him at this point and I could tell that he did too but I could also tell that he was keeping me at a distance and holding back. Long Story short I brought up the "what are we doing here" convo, 9 months in, and he replied by saying that he really cared about me but that he wasn't sure yet because it hadn't been long enough for him to know where he wanted to take our relationship. We spoke for two hours on it and he just kept saying he cared, wasn't ready and was focused on work and apologized for being selfish but didn't want to stop seeing me. With that, I took a biiiig step back. He kept initiating us hanging out and still came to my yoga classes but i took intimacy off the table- I needed us to just be friends so that I could get my head back and decide what was best for me as I was/am emotionally in it with this guy.

I took time to date around and do me but I still saw the capricorn man when he would ask me / only when I was free. Finally after a few months and him trying we did sleep together again, two times. Both times, and specifically the last time, I could see it in his eyes and his words/actions how much he liked me, but I know that he is still not going to let himself feel that or tell me that. I am very intuitive and I pride myself on being able to tell how someone feels.

Well, he still goes to your classes so I still feel that's a big plus. He is showing up, it's an action and caps are about actions. Unfortunately, they are not readily recognized because he's not one to point it out, "Look at me! See what i'm doing here? I'm here to see you." lol.

Like Chesh said already though, some people can be slow burners, really, really slow. Where's his Venus and mars? Plus he has a Taurus moon so he won't move until he wants to and is all ready.

These people are THE most patient, imo and they expect it in return but I like the devotion, steadfastness and grace that they have. He probably thinks nothing of the time it's taking. For me, he's a sensual type and needs romance/mood and touch and time to get all cozy to nurture those feelings to push forward with this. But I get your frustration because at 9 mos, hmmm. Unfortunately, he's not feeling it yet. He was honest, he needs more time. Whether you'd like to give it to him is really up to you.

I feel you.

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His Venus is Capricorn and Mars is Scorpio...



He's verrrrrry slow. I noticed that and knew that from the start. I know I deserve a guy who is 100% sure right off the bat but my gut feeling with him was that he was the one and that it would take time patience and a lot of work on my end to obtain those being that I, as a Pisces, do tend to feel a lot..

I do value that he needs to feel like the time is right and that he still shows up and that he was honest with me.

Posted by confusedpiscesgirl

Posted by Caplove

Posted by confusedpiscesgirl We started seeing each other and hanging out regularly (1-2 times a week) for about 9 months. I really fell for him at this point and I could tell that he did too but I could also tell that he was keeping me at a distance and holding back. Long Story short I brought up the "what are we doing here" convo, 9 months in, and he replied by saying that he really cared about me but that he wasn't sure yet because it hadn't been long enough for him to know where he wanted to take our relationship. We spoke for two hours on it and he just kept saying he cared, wasn't ready and was focused on work and apologized for being selfish but didn't want to stop seeing me. With that, I took a biiiig step back. He kept initiating us hanging out and still came to my yoga classes but i took intimacy off the table- I needed us to just be friends so that I could get my head back and decide what was best for me as I was/am emotionally in it with this guy.

I took time to date around and do me but I still saw the capricorn man when he would ask me / only when I was free. Finally after a few months and him trying we did sleep together again, two times. Both times, and specifically the last time, I could see it in his eyes and his words/actions how much he liked me, but I know that he is still not going to let himself feel that or tell me that. I am very intuitive and I pride myself on being able to tell how someone feels.

Well, he still goes to your classes so I still feel that's a big plus. He is showing up, it's an action and caps are about actions. Unfortunately, they are not readily recognized because he's not one to point it out, "Look at me! See what i'm doing here? I'm here to see you." lol.

Like Chesh said already though, some people can be slow burners, really, really slow. Where's his Venus and mars? Plus he has a Taurus moon so he won't move until he wants to and is all ready.

These people are THE most patient, imo and they expect it in return but I like the devotion, steadfastness and grace that they have. He probably thinks nothing of the time it's taking. For me, he's a sensual type and needs romance/mood and touch and time to get all cozy to nurture those feelings to push forward with this. But I get your frustration because at 9 mos, hmmm. Unfortunately, he's not feeling it yet. He was honest, he needs more time. Whether you'd like to give it to him is really up to you.

I feel you.

His Venus is Capricorn and Mars is Scorpio...



He's verrrrrry slow. I noticed that and knew that from the start. I know I deserve a guy who is 100% sure right off the bat but my gut feeling with him was that he was the one and that it would take time patience and a lot of work on my end to obtain those being that I, as a Pisces, do tend to feel a lot..

I do value that he needs to feel like the time is right and that he still shows up and that he was honest with me.

click to expand

Can I ask what his venus in capricorn and mars in scorpio mean?

Posted by Caplove

Posted by confusedpiscesgirl We started seeing each other and hanging out regularly (1-2 times a week) for about 9 months. I really fell for him at this point and I could tell that he did too but I could also tell that he was keeping me at a distance and holding back. Long Story short I brought up the "what are we doing here" convo, 9 months in, and he replied by saying that he really cared about me but that he wasn't sure yet because it hadn't been long enough for him to know where he wanted to take our relationship. We spoke for two hours on it and he just kept saying he cared, wasn't ready and was focused on work and apologized for being selfish but didn't want to stop seeing me. With that, I took a biiiig step back. He kept initiating us hanging out and still came to my yoga classes but i took intimacy off the table- I needed us to just be friends so that I could get my head back and decide what was best for me as I was/am emotionally in it with this guy.

I took time to date around and do me but I still saw the capricorn man when he would ask me / only when I was free. Finally after a few months and him trying we did sleep together again, two times. Both times, and specifically the last time, I could see it in his eyes and his words/actions how much he liked me, but I know that he is still not going to let himself feel that or tell me that. I am very intuitive and I pride myself on being able to tell how someone feels.

Well, he still goes to your classes so I still feel that's a big plus. He is showing up, it's an action and caps are about actions. Unfortunately, they are not readily recognized because he's not one to point it out, "Look at me! See what i'm doing here? I'm here to see you." lol.

Like Chesh said already though, some people can be slow burners, really, really slow. Where's his Venus and mars? Plus he has a Taurus moon so he won't move until he wants to and is all ready.

These people are THE most patient, imo and they expect it in return but I like the devotion, steadfastness and grace that they have. He probably thinks nothing of the time it's taking. For me, he's a sensual type and needs romance/mood and touch and time to get all cozy to nurture those feelings to push forward with this. But I get your frustration because at 9 mos, hmmm. Unfortunately, he's not feeling it yet. He was honest, he needs more time. Whether you'd like to give it to him is really up to you.

I feel you.

click to expand

Rising Taurus and his Venus is Capricorn and Mars is Scorpio...

So yea....SLOW.

Where is he in his career? I genuinely think when he said he wanted to focus on work, he meant it. Relationships are usually last on the list for them. So, until he’s accomplished most of his career goals, he’s probably not going to budge.

Posted by Caplove

Mars in Scorpio, I'm not too familiar with, tbh. But Venus yes, I have this position so it's only from personal experience. I like to be sure about my partners and need to feel safe in the relationship to want to move forward. I don't show love openly, it's through actions and being helpful to them. Kind of a cold placement, I suppose.

By safe, I mean, I need to feel that they are stable and aren't going to take off for ridiculous reasons. I like reliable partners that won't let me down and will have my back. When I make a commitment I don't like to break it. Stable, secure, trustworthy is what I look for.

The other person is usually the one that has to lay their cards down first and then give me time to warm up to it. Pain in the butt, huh? 😄

hahaha super big pain in the butt! And yes I agree he shows it by his actions and he is helpful towards me- which is why it's driving me kinda nuts because I know he has major feelings for me he just doesn't know it yet (if that makes sense?)

How can I show him how reliable I am / that I have his back?

And after class, he makes eyes, will come up to me and thank me for class or tell me how amazing it was. Tonight, for example, he came up to me afterwards and grabbed my hand to hold and said that we should hang out tomorrow night. I'm busy, so I can't, (but its because of work- and i told him that) and then he proceeded to ask me about work and then I said I should be busy with that all weekend and i'll be able to hang out next week and we left it at that. But that was tonight. Some nights that convo doesn't happen- but there's always a "thank you, that kicked my butt/was amazing" type of convo.

.........

Posted by igotthatfire

Where is he in his career? I genuinely think when he said he wanted to focus on work, he meant it. Relationships are usually last on the list for them. So, until he’s accomplished most of his career goals, he’s probably not going to budge.

I have read that about caps....

He is not quite where he wants to be, unfortunately, but I believe he isn't far from it...so hopefully he budges soon?

Posted by Gnu

For a cap with Taurus moon you probably need to get him into a routine. Get him into a routine doing relationship stuff.

I don't think patience will work because with a cap with Taurus moon 3 days is like 3 seconds. They can out wait almost any sign.

Get him into the relationship routine. This sign combination doesn't move unless it wants to so you have the break the inertia up first with a slight push and routine. If he believes you're the one he will keep moving till you are together. If he's started moving and after awhile not closing you'll have to end it.

hmmm what do you mea by " If he believes you're the one he will keep moving till you are together. If he's started moving and after awhile not closing you'll have to end it."

It has been going on for a year now and see is moving and then not closing and then i'm pulling back and he's moving in so its a weird ebb and flow. He also definitely in a routine but how do i switch it to a relationship routine?

Posted by Caplove

Posted by confusedpiscesgirl

Posted by Caplove

Mars in Scorpio, I'm not too familiar with, tbh. But Venus yes, I have this position so it's only from personal experience. I like to be sure about my partners and need to feel safe in the relationship to want to move forward. I don't show love openly, it's through actions and being helpful to them. Kind of a cold placement, I suppose.

By safe, I mean, I need to feel that they are stable and aren't going to take off for ridiculous reasons. I like reliable partners that won't let me down and will have my back. When I make a commitment I don't like to break it. Stable, secure, trustworthy is what I look for.

The other person is usually the one that has to lay their cards down first and then give me time to warm up to it. Pain in the butt, huh? 😄

hahaha super big pain in the butt! And yes I agree he shows it by his actions and he is helpful towards me- which is why it's driving me kinda nuts because I know he has major feelings for me he just doesn't know it yet (if that makes sense?)

How can I show him how reliable I am / that I have his back?

And after class, he makes eyes, will come up to me and thank me for class or tell me how amazing it was. Tonight, for example, he came up to me afterwards and grabbed my hand to hold and said that we should hang out tomorrow night. I'm busy, so I can't, (but its because of work- and i told him that) and then he proceeded to ask me about work and then I said I should be busy with that all weekend and i'll be able to hang out next week and we left it at that. But that was tonight. Some nights that convo doesn't happen- but there's always a "thank you, that kicked my butt/was amazing" type of convo.

.........

Haha. Okay, I think he def. likes you. He's showing you by talking to you and making the effort. Start reaching out and touching him back when he comes to talk. Like touch his forearm or shoulder to make a point in conversation. Just a light touch, nothing crazy. He'll probably like that contact. It's just a way to get closer and it's an encouraging sign.

It seems like it's going well already, tbh. He's just slow but that'll be encouraging. Also.. if you turn him down it's good to offer another day specifically. For example, I'm not free tomorrow because of work.. but how about next Friday? So then, he has the chance to offer a time, etc or offer a different day if needed. So, you can go back and forth until you reach a solid meeting. Just ease into it.

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i means that is exactly what I'm doing with him. hopefully it works...

Posted by Caplove

Posted by confusedpiscesgirl

Posted by Caplove

Mars in Scorpio, I'm not too familiar with, tbh. But Venus yes, I have this position so it's only from personal experience. I like to be sure about my partners and need to feel safe in the relationship to want to move forward. I don't show love openly, it's through actions and being helpful to them. Kind of a cold placement, I suppose.

By safe, I mean, I need to feel that they are stable and aren't going to take off for ridiculous reasons. I like reliable partners that won't let me down and will have my back. When I make a commitment I don't like to break it. Stable, secure, trustworthy is what I look for.

The other person is usually the one that has to lay their cards down first and then give me time to warm up to it. Pain in the butt, huh? 😄

hahaha super big pain in the butt! And yes I agree he shows it by his actions and he is helpful towards me- which is why it's driving me kinda nuts because I know he has major feelings for me he just doesn't know it yet (if that makes sense?)

How can I show him how reliable I am / that I have his back?

And after class, he makes eyes, will come up to me and thank me for class or tell me how amazing it was. Tonight, for example, he came up to me afterwards and grabbed my hand to hold and said that we should hang out tomorrow night. I'm busy, so I can't, (but its because of work- and i told him that) and then he proceeded to ask me about work and then I said I should be busy with that all weekend and i'll be able to hang out next week and we left it at that. But that was tonight. Some nights that convo doesn't happen- but there's always a "thank you, that kicked my butt/was amazing" type of convo.

.........

Haha. Okay, I think he def. likes you. He's showing you by talking to you and making the effort. Start reaching out and touching him back when he comes to talk. Like touch his forearm or shoulder to make a point in conversation. Just a light touch, nothing crazy. He'll probably like that contact. It's just a way to get closer and it's an encouraging sign.

It seems like it's going well already, tbh. He's just slow but that'll be encouraging. Also.. if you turn him down it's good to offer another day specifically. For example, I'm not free tomorrow because of work.. but how about next Friday? So then, he has the chance to offer a time, etc or offer a different day if needed. So, you can go back and forth until you reach a solid meeting. Just ease into it.

click to expand

i means that is exactly what I'm doing with him. hopefully it works...

Posted by Gobby

When at least half of the female dxpers come here looking for advice about their Cap man, it's not help they so desperately need - it's patience...

Really patience after 9 fucking months? You must be kidding.

Posted by Gobby

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by Gobby

When at least half of the female dxpers come here looking for advice about their Cap man, it's not help they so desperately need - it's patience...

Really patience after 9 fucking months? You must be kidding.

Now, who's the one being 'confrontational'?

Besides, you may have missed it but they're only seeing each other once or twice a week. That alone should slow down any conventional progress.

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What’s wrong w being confrontational?

But yes good point in the date frequency.

Posted by Gnu

Posted by confusedpiscesgirl

Posted by Gnu

For a cap with Taurus moon you probably need to get him into a routine. Get him into a routine doing relationship stuff.

I don't think patience will work because with a cap with Taurus moon 3 days is like 3 seconds. They can out wait almost any sign.

Get him into the relationship routine. This sign combination doesn't move unless it wants to so you have the break the inertia up first with a slight push and routine. If he believes you're the one he will keep moving till you are together. If he's started moving and after awhile not closing you'll have to end it.

hmmm what do you mea by " If he believes you're the one he will keep moving till you are together. If he's started moving and after awhile not closing you'll have to end it."

It has been going on for a year now and see is moving and then not closing and then i'm pulling back and he's moving in so its a weird ebb and flow. He also definitely in a routine but how do i switch it to a relationship routine?

To get into a relationship routine means doing couple things at a regular time interval like brushing teeth in the morning. Like going on dates at such and such a time. It's sort of like having a regular schedule so it's like you're a part of his life in a day to day or week to week way. You may have to initiate a bit to get him into this routine to bring the relationship out of the rut.

About your first question is once he is out of the rut. Things are moving along and the routine is comfortable then he should start to see you as the one and move the relationship forward with you if he sees you as the one and make it a a bit more official. He should begin taking more initiative as he feels more comfortable with you. If he doesn't then he doesn't see you as the one and you shouldn't waste time.

The source of the rut may be capricorns dealing with emotions, stressful work life. You want to get him moving in a non confrontational way. If he's got things going on the last thing he needs is more headaches. It's like adding gasoline to the fire.

So get him moving again. Once moving and steady, he should be able to do what's necessary. If he doesn't then end the relationship in a nice way because he will get used to the routine. If you end it and he fights for you then he really does want you in his life which is why I said to end it nice way. If you never hear from him after ending it then you know where you stand.

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Got it. Thank you! I will try to make it a routine as he honestly is theeee most routine oriented man i've ever met haha

I'm glad this ended well so I could bump it without being guilty

I hope she bled that man dry

trash luminaries (sorry solo, not you xD)

Wait, are old ass threads not archived anymore? I kind of love that