A shout to my love.

I am 27 year old caucasian male, a pharmacist with a phd, voice actor ( I have a deep, resonating voice but not blurry, a little more clear), semi-professional wrestler with kinda muscular but definitely strong body. I travelled far and wide to meet my soul mate. I prepared my body, my words and my soul for her, my eternal love, my anchor for my unending cosmic rebirth.

Since I was 8, have this unexplainable need of emptiness. Emptiness of soul. My mind couldn't reach the satiety with a lot of people's words and ideas, not because that I have some kind of superiority complex I am VERY compassionate towards all carbon based lifeforms, but because I couldn't find her in the reality and the dreamland. I seek her heart, her unstoppable flow of nurturing energy to fill this unstoppable hunger inside me. I cannot explain this to you, for I have tried nearly every scientific method every analysis and almost every psychoanalysis method to rationalise my inner demand. Its not working.

And some time after, I motivated myself and disciplined myself that when she comes to my life, I have to be ready, as a man, as a primal organism that feels this inquenchable thirst. I practised the noble art of lovemaking, read kama sutra books, took bioenergetic classes, studied female anatomy bit by bit. I prepared myself for what is to come: The goddess that demands to be loved, ravised, guarded for life and fucked roughly and divinely for her infinite beauty. The woman that I will wrap my arms around her and watch tv as ordinary and sweet as possible. The girl that can make me smile with a simple look in her beautiful dreamy eyes, eyes that I inevitably fell instantly and inevitably see before I close my eyes in my deathbed. She will be the delicite femininity to my glorious manliness.

But where? Where is she? Did I seek her in the wrong place? This questions always popping up in my head. ALWAYS QUESTIONING. ALWAYS SEEKING. ALWAYS TRANSFORMING MYSELF TO WHAT IS TO COME. Sometimes it seems no use, and voices inside me starts to raise their rebellion flag: "You are a pathological case of obsessive self improvement. You don't have a soul, you are a machine programmed to find a particular imaginary personification. You are too crazy to walk around on the earth. You are not showing love your surroundings, withdrawing them and use this energy to maniacally use it on yourself. You are a defective human being that needs to be deleted before its too late. You can have any woman

...with your skills, why bother?"

I think I am on a path of something more than a man. I probably turn into someting else that people will find hard, very hard to define. Borders of insanity will reach close as my unconditional love and transformation grows.

BUT I KNOW SHE WILL COME.

For some astroanalyser ppl here is my info:

Scorpio sun, Pisces moon, Aquarius rising, mercury scorpio, mars aries

...with your skills, why bother?"

I think I am on a path of something more than a man. I probably turn into someting else that people will find hard, very hard to define. Borders of insanity will reach close as my unconditional love and transformation grows.

BUT I KNOW SHE WILL COME.

For some astroanalyser ppl here is my info:

Scorpio sun, Pisces moon, Aquarius rising, mercury scorpio, mars aries

Pisces Moon eh, I though for sure you would be a dramatic Leo moon.
She's out there, good luck to you
I hope you don't come back and hide this post.

Go for a Pisces with a Leo moon.

Posted by Plutorion
I practised the noble art of lovemaking, read kama sutra books, took bioenergetic classes, studied female anatomy bit by bit.

sir, you have my full attention.

Probably venus in cap. He lead with his accolades. I respect that.

All that's exceptionally beautiful..very well written!But is this the way it should be?(not telling it should be only in some particular way) I mean, manytimes,you always get something when you stop looking for it...!Isn't it beautiful when it happens naturally,like with flow ..not knowing what hit you..!When you're trying to seek it everywhere you go wouldn't it be running away from you...because you have seem pre determined notions for it kinda?Won't you be in for disappointment everytime you realize that someone is not 'her'? Just my thoughts!

My best wishes!Loved the way you put it!

Posted by femmefatale
@Plutorion We have the same placements so far,
with the exception of the rising sign. I am
curious to know your venus sign as well?

Venus in libra.

Posted by Twodrinkminimum
Are you obsessed with self improvement for your own satisfaction or because you think it will attract your perfect mate?

I am obsessed with self improvement on various topics and disciplines. Some of them brings me satisfaction, some of them not. But I had to do it. I really don't know that my efforts will attract my perfect mate, perhaps she will come from a level of layer and culture that I absolutely couldn't dream of. But this possibility shouldn't diminish my efforts, It should empower me to reach her.

Shortly, I just do stuff that I feel it needs to be done. 🙂

ready to dump your mirror in exchange for a woman?

Hi Plutorion, are you sure that you have Mars in Aries?

Posted by Plutorion

Posted by Twodrinkminimum
Are you obsessed with self improvement for your own satisfaction or because you think it will attract your perfect mate?

I am obsessed with self improvement on various topics and disciplines. Some of them brings me satisfaction, some of them not. But I had to do it. I really don't know that my efforts will attract my perfect mate, perhaps she will come from a level of layer and culture that I absolutely couldn't dream of. But this possibility shouldn't diminish my efforts, It should empower me to reach her.

Shortly, I just do stuff that I feel it needs to be done. 🙂

click to expand

I have often wondered if there was a guy out there looking for me and feeling the angst of not reaching me.
I sometimes feel as if I have to cross continents to reach him.
I ask myself should I look for him or should I sit still and let him find me.
So your post is very interesting to me.

I am reading a very good book that's helping me pin point the road blocks that I have put in my way to finding my love.
I certainly have some things to work on.

And I have learned that my mate may not look like my "type."
Race, culture, nationality; who knows.
If you are looking for a deeper connection than just a partner you will have to be very open minded.

You may also need to change up what you are putting out there to call her in.
Instead of asking, "why HAVEN'T I found you"; say, "I WILL find you."

Perhaps your analyzing is putting more emphasizes on being single and blocking the path to your love.
Also, I see you are "obsessed with self improvement", perhaps you don't feel you can be enough for her as you are.
When in fact you may already be what your love is looking for but if you are constantly changing she can't recognize you.

Or she may not be ready for you? Have you considered that?

Hmmmm just some thoughts.
I wish you success and don't give up but don't get too comfortable in the search.
And please do try to relax. 🙂

Posted by laFille
Hi Plutorion, are you sure that you have Mars in Aries?

Yes, Its 2 degrees in natal chart. Weirdly it corresponds in my wrestling style, i go recklessly and powerfully withregarding my bodily pain to submit my opponent as 1uickly as possible.

Posted by LunarMaiden

Posted by Plutorion

Posted by Twodrinkminimum
Are you obsessed with self improvement for your own satisfaction or because you think it will attract your perfect mate?

I am obsessed with self improvement on various topics and disciplines. Some of them brings me satisfaction, some of them not. But I had to do it. I really don't know that my efforts will attract my perfect mate, perhaps she will come from a level of layer and culture that I absolutely couldn't dream of. But this possibility shouldn't diminish my efforts, It should empower me to reach her.

Shortly, I just do stuff that I feel it needs to be done. 🙂

I have often wondered if there was a guy out there looking for me and feeling the angst of not reaching me.
I sometimes feel as if I have to cross continents to reach him.
I ask myself should I look for him or should I sit still and let him find me.
So your post is very interesting to me.

I am reading a very good book that's helping me pin point the road blocks that I have put in my way to finding my love.
I certainly have some things to work on.

And I have learned that my mate may not look like my "type."
Race, culture, nationality; who knows.
If you are looking for a deeper connection than just a partner you will have to be very open minded.

You may also need to change up what you are putting out there to call her in.
Instead of asking, "why HAVEN'T I found you"; say, "I WILL find you."

Perhaps your analyzing is putting more emphasizes on being single and blocking the path to your love.
Also, I see you are "obsessed with self improvement", perhaps you don't feel you can be enough for her as you are.
When in fact you may already be what your love is looking for but if you are constantly changing she can't recognize you.

Or she may not be ready for you? Have you considered that?

Hmmmm just some thoughts.
I wish you success and don't give up but don't get too comfortable in the search.
And please do try to relax. 🙂

click to expand

Thanks for the enlightening words.
I do believe there has to be some kind of merging, and I also believe that it will be a unique bond. Mimics, walking pattern, biorythmics, ESP... it eventually all

Posted by Plutorion

Posted by laFille
Hi Plutorion, are you sure that you have Mars in Aries?

Yes, Its 2 degrees in natal chart. Weirdly it corresponds in my wrestling style, i go recklessly and powerfully withregarding my bodily pain to submit my opponent as 1uickly as possible.

click to expand

So you are 26 and not 27 then. Anyway not important, I was just little confused.

im surprised your not posting every single astrological
detail of yer loved one and asking everybody to dissect it

I think you are trying to hard.... I had that mentality for a while, and kept finding people who I thought might be right for me.

It was when I decided I was giving up, and it could just happen when it happened, that love came to me.

Now it is everything I wanted and NEEDED out of a partnership.

From: Scorpio Sun, Pisces Moon,
Libra Venus