Hey everyone I am still waiting for feedback

Please more of you read Dare to Dream and let me know what you think. OKKKKKK-I truly do need to have the piece exposed to people. I am just a beginner in the writing arena, and would like to know if I should continue with it or give it up. Please help out with this my new friends. No offense will be taken if you dont like it, and tell me to put it in the round file. Chat at ya soon. TW2

I agree with everything Parallax said. My little suggestion (and very humble one, since I consider myself just as much an amateur poet as anyone else) would be this: maybe cut out some of the smaller words, to shorten the poem, thus making it more powerful. It's powerful the way it is now, but perhaps think about shortening it a bit by removing anything not absolutely essential to get the idea across. I think it might have even more "punch" that way. Overall, it's a good poem, I can sense the sincerity behind the language.

Oh, and one more thing: I think it's very admirable that you are brave enough to post your poetry here and be open to criticism. I've posted maybe a couple tiny, teensy tiny things I've written on the boards but have not been brave enough yet to really post much more than that, I don't know if I could handle any criticism. So good for you that you have the moxie to do it.

Phoenix you were my first lov and my only lov. post the dam stuff.

Hahaha...I really wasn't fishing, but that's nice of you to encourage me.

I will post the damn stuff. Now if I could just decide what damn stuff to post...😛