What makes you and your chart uniquely difficult and how do you cope with it?

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I need to vent so I apologize for the passages lol but I will still try to be brief. I'm in a constant struggle internally and externally and I'm sure there are lots of you that go/went through something similar and I wanna know how you guys deal. First, I hate my chart completely. I like to look at the big picture when it comes to things so I naturally combine astrology with Biology, Philosophy, Theology, etc... but I don't know why I am like this. I've been battling personal issues with myself for the better part of 5 years now. I think I've gotten a lot better. I'm a firm believer in finding the issue and coming up with solutions. Being a Scorpio sun, Pisces rising, and Venus Square Saturn positivity doesn't come naturally. When it comes to my chart, I have Capricorn and fire sign stelliums but I feel like it's pointless. For example, being a pisces male in general is really difficult to deal with let alone rising but I hate perceptions and I have a serious inferior complex that I keep hidden very well. I don't feel good enough, attractive enough, smarter enough, etc no matter what I do to change it. I hate that Ascendant has so much power. I don't like that I come off more piscean but really I'm all Scorpio internally. I'm like the phrase "walking quietly while carrying a big stick." I have so many strong qualities but I don't feel like I'm reaching that full potential. Sun is who you are and who you become but rising is how you get there. Aggressive sun but passive rising. I try to mask my internal chaos to the best of my ability because I hate being sensitive (Aries Moon) even though I am secretly. I envy Leo's and Libras for their natural ability to be optimistic and positive. I have an illness similar to hypochondria which gets the best of me sometimes and I feel alone because of all this intense water emotionally. I try to be very independent because I hate asking for help. I'll usually ask my mom since she is the only one who knows me. Plot twist is...she's a Libra Sun and Leo Rising. She's loving and caring and she means well, it's just hard for her to understand. What in my chart is making me like this and why? Can anybody relate? If so, how do you cope? P.S. I want to become a doctor and I have master number 22 if that makes sense or a difference.

That is so true. I am very intolerant to my own emotions which don't agree with my conscience. I have been working on more positive change and self acceptance. It's not self pity but my control issues won't allow me to acknowledge or accept myself and emotions because I find the cards I've been dealt difficult to endure. I feel like I'm moving more positively in my life and fear that something will happen that would sabotage my progress, even myself.

Posted by Magnolia
Moon Square Neptune

The main challenge facing you with the square aspect is that of discrimination between reality and unreality, between fact and fiction, and the consequences of confusion when these are not correctly perceived and established within consciousness. Volatile and tidal emotions and feelings are often intertwined with your imagination so that your perceptions are clouded by personal bias and fantasies. Attempts to warp realities, especially those concerning others, are never welcomed and are a source of conflict within relationships. Insisting that you are right - even against the recall of several others - will eventually generate antagonism, as no-one enjoys having their reality and memory threatened by others, even if they are family members. You often feel uncomfortable with your feelings and emotions as they are not easily assimilated and integrated by you, and being liable to moods you find it difficult to feel centred in any stable emotional pattern of responses to people and life. There may have been some emotionally based difficulties in your parental relationships, especially to your mother, where emotional needs were not satisfied or where you imagine failings to have occurred. Changes can be successfully made by working with those intrinsic assets which you may have blocked so far, or whose presence you may have denied, rather than acknowledging them as gifts. Imagination is present; this can be used in positive ways. What you need to do is to build positive images of a 'new you' who has less of a chip on your heart, and who is prepared to change into a more creative and loving person. Understanding your own nature is the first step towards being tolerant of others' weknesses and strengths, so some form of inner psychological enquiry is required. Releasnig pent-up emotional tension is essential, and should be carefully done, probably with the aid of trained counsellors or psychotherapists, because too great and sudden an emotional explosion of pressures may be more damaging than healing. Types of body work, manipulation and massage could possibly be additionally beneficial too. Be more open and honest in relationships concerning any feelings of confusion; try not to let them fester inside. Organise your life more consciously. Work with others, so that you realise that all need support and guidance at times in their lives from others who may be perceptive on a clearer level. Believe in your own potential, and determine to allow it access into your life. In so doing, you can transform the negative aspects of the square into positive assets. Perferably work with more down-to-earth schools of therapy, which can then ground you better, rather than following a natural tendency towards more imaginative escapism, which can result in involvement with any religious / mystical cults that aim to fly in holy skies of grandeur and hallucinations rather than experience real life.

That is so true. I am very intolerant to my own emotions which don't agree with my conscience. I have been working on more positive change and self acceptance. It's not self pity but my control issues won't allow me to acknowledge or accept myself and emotions because I find the cards I've been dealt difficult to endure. I feel like I'm moving more positively in my life and fear that something will happen that would sabotage my progress, even myself.

Posted by nano
I think you're giving your birth chart too much credit and power over you.. it's not the end all be all. I get that you're fixed, but if you don't like something about yourself than you can change it. It is possible as long as you have some self awareness and are willing to make small shifts in your attitude/behaviors. You aren't locked in to your chart.

Also, the issues you explain are pretty average human being issues. I think every person here regardless of signs or aspects or whatever can tell you that at some point they struggle to find common ground within themselves internally and externally.

Every persons chart here has, as you put it "passive" and "aggressive" energies. I.e - I have cancer mars opposite my capricorn moon. That has to be a pretty shitty placement, given the fact that supposedly how I take action (mars) is opposite to what I feel internally (moon). What could be worse than that?

You do have a point. I just sometimes admire those that seem so put together even if they aren't. It's just loving myself that is the true issue.

Posted by nano
I think you're giving your birth chart too much credit and power over you.. it's not the end all be all. I get that you're fixed, but if you don't like something about yourself than you can change it. It is possible as long as you have some self awareness and are willing to make small shifts in your attitude/behaviors. You aren't locked in to your chart.

Also, the issues you explain are pretty average human being issues. I think every person here regardless of signs or aspects or whatever can tell you that at some point they struggle to find common ground within themselves internally and externally.

I agree w nano here.

also a scorp. and you should be grateful to not have been born in ‘93. being a scorpio in ‘93, saturn beats our ASS. if I was born 3 days later i’d have 6 scorpio planets and most of them would square saturn. I know a girl like this. can’t be easy.

for me, I have

Sun sq. Saturn

Mars sq. Saturn

Saturn sq. Pluto (though idc about this one and it doesn’t effect me really- I don’t even relate to the description).

Venus trine Saturn

Ascendant trine Saturn

Jupiter trine Saturn

as a whole because of the sun and mars square saturn I tend to be melancholic. I don’t think my virgo moon ever helps really because I rationalize everything and compartmentalize. I worry incessantly with my virgo moon. I am hard on myself because of saturn. I bury my pain and don’t know how to assert myself due to mars sq. saturn.

i relate to your annoyance with your chart, but in my eyes when I did my own chart I found the flaws and the issues and decided to overcome them. yeah it’ll be a pain in the ass, but face it. life isn’t supposed to be easy, and if we sit here whining about it we’ll be 60 years old and have led a miserable life wallowing in self-pity. what kind of legacy is that?

don’t give up and keep growing that’s my input. I know how saturn whittles away at self-confidence. even the trines in my chart make me a more somber person. I am too self-controlled in everything I do. it’s a good thing, but it’s annoying too. I like to be free.

learn from saturn. learn from your difficult aspects in your chart. discover yourself, and grow. growth should be the goal, though i know it’s hard to master.

a huge problem I have is being defensive about everything thanks to the hard saturn aspects. I really have had to take myself out of the equation and learn people are not always attacking me. but growing up, people around me did attack me a pre-conditioned me to believe everyone will always attack. however that’s not the case. sometimes I can still be defensive, but I have come a long way.

be strong scorpy. I have confidence in you. don’t let your chart define you. like nano said.

use it as guidance. defy it. redefine it and yourself to build your future and challenge yourself.

if I had to guess ‘93 taurus are the same.

I only know a couple ‘93 aquarians who prob have some conjunctions, but the one I knew had a scorp moon that was square his aquarius saturn. and he had the sun conjunction w saturn I think.

as a whole, I think saturn kicks a lot of people’s asses in their chart.

it is the destroyer of confidence, but honestly I think we all learn a lot of lessons from it. we do suffer more hardships w the hard aspects but at the same time that’s what really allows us to grow.

Im an earth sign, virgo have very strong personality

but im water dominant . with air being second n earth being third

my water conflict my earth most