A Taurus woman needed helps desperately :(

Hello everyone I'm new on here and been reading alot about Cancer men and finally opened an account to post a question. I'll try to cut the long story short. I'm so mlost confused at this point, so if the flow of the story aint so smooth please dont get worked up woth me :S

Here we go...

Basically I 'met' this Cancer from a social networking thingy and i wasnt expecting anything from there to start off with. One day i just logged on to see whats on. Then this man left me an offline message and said hi (been a week til i saw it) then i said hi back as i'm always polite. Then he replied kinda quickly and we hit off really well. He asked alot about me and told me about himself etc. He told me he found me very attractive and like the way i am etc. His charm kinda grabbed my attention but no feeling still. Then we started on whatsapp...

he text me almost whenever he can and i started having feelings for him (oh i forgot to mention we are from different countries) then til he told me he's going abraod for business trip as he opened his new office there. I told him i needed a holiday soon and dont know where to go yet he said u can come and visit me i can show u around. Things were still all sweet and cute, everyday he would text me to say morning when he got up and tell me his daily life and goodnight to me (due to the stupid time difference) i started having feeling for him. He only said 'love ya' and 'miss you' and really need to hug you badly once. Tho we havent met he admitted its strange for him too.

Til he went away and started his trip havent heard from him since he was about to board (I was fast aslp then) he text to tell me he's about to board and sleep tight (forgot to mention he already called me dear, babes a week after we started chatting, he still called me that nowadays). then nothing from him for 2 days then he text me outta the blue but i was driving didnt see the message and he rang me i was driving again didnt hear my phone rang he left a voice mail told me he has arrived and sorting everything at work and his apartment and also told me he missed me... so i pulled aside sent him a voice clip via whatsapp to tell him i'll be home in 20 if he can hold on. I rang him as soon as \i got home and we had the best conversation ever!he even mentioned wanna get the apartment cleaned and tidy so when i go see him in oct/nov it wont be boxes clutters everywhere.

but my nightmare started not long after that...

What nightmare?

Cancer men can be hard to read. We'll show you just enough to keep you interested until we're sure that you can be trusted with our inner white meat feelers, and then BOOM. You'll have it all.

I read your post, and don't really have any specifics to comment on until you reply a little - just remember, this is a long distance situation, and they are hard. Just continue to text / call whenever it is appropriate, learn more about who he is and what his interests are. The real test will come when you go to see him!

Sorry got a call from work and had to drop everything. Here we are again. He then text less and less to literally won't initiate the contact unless I do and the replies seemed much colder compared to before 😢 BUT (a big but) I learnt how to give him his time and space for his own things he will just reappear like nothing happened. He would ask how my day was tho it's not the everyday thing anymore. And he would send me pictures from his daily life and tell me what he's done without me asking first. Last week I switched my phone off for 2 days while I went to Paris for day trip. On my whatsapp status I said 'sorry pals unavailable these few days no fb either just email, ta' then when I returned I got a picture of his lunch box from 2 days ago then nothing. So instead of a friendly self, I just reply in short 'hi. Hot few days off how's u?' wow! Then he replied in few line in one go told me what he did etc. I really can't understand what happened.

I told him I was going to confirm my flight tickets to see him and he asked me for the dates again (which I never confirm the definite dates with him) he gavel a kissy icon and I said if its not ok for him I'll change it he said its good sweetie. I finally booked and text him the times of arrival, he just text me back hi sweets great news. (at the beginning when things were still sweet, he did say looking forward to seeing me and he'll be counting the days) he said great news and LY!! I haven't got that from him since last month!! I was so over the moon but because of tiredness and hangover I text him back 'ly2 hun, am looking forward to it now' then he said get some
Rest dear. I've not heard anything from him again. My gut feeling is telling me another girl is in the picture.

I forgot to mention that a wk after the first phone call, when he became distant I made a call to see how he was n asked if things were ok as he seemed a bit off. He told me just lots of delays. Then I said if I can ask him a question he said ok. I asked if he has a gf he said no then asked me right back. He also mentioned he doesn't wanna rush wanna get to know each other first which I agreed with that too. Explained to him the reason I asked cuz don't wanna be in a wrong position while he already attached haha.

He can just not get in contact for couple of days then all of the sudden he is back again! I'm so lost as I wanna see him but deep down my instinct is telling me this trip will be sh*t as I don't have the vibe from him that he's looking forward to see me anymore aka lost his interests. On the other side 'u don't try u don't know'! Mind u he's in his mid 40s supposed won't be as exciting as a 20 yr old right? Sigh, guys I'm so lost in this never ever had someone has this effect on me always cool bout relationship u like it take it, u don't then get outta of my face. Unfortunately everything has its first time!

If you were in my situation, what would u do? I told him I like him and he said he like me too (a while ago now and btw think I forgot to mention that we only met 6wks ago never met in persons probably til Nov if im going! Bought the tickets an booked the hotel ( he initially thought I would stay with him but I said he got business partners living together may be best for me to stay else where).

I'm still holdin onto this rollover coaster, some of the days I just wanna let go...but I'm not a quitter in life even it hurts I'll still hold on to it until it hits me big time n knock me out. Please give whatever advice/opinions on this and if u have anything u need to ask which I can't really put every single details on here it's way too much to type haha. Ianything will be appreciated 🙂 thank you everyone xxxx

Thanks everyone 🙂 it is hard to do so but I did it once for not texting or get in contact thought i could move on yet when he got in touch again obviously my heart melted again. Gotta stay strong this time. I've already planned my trips during day time (when he's at work n night time I've got plans as well so if he decided not to meet me then thatscfine cuz I can explore the city myself besides I've had a friend there she knew I was going so may be can catch up with her after 17 yrs!

I have been back to my kickboxing classes after back injuries, lately been taking up yoga, pilates and zumba classes to get back in shape n keep myself occupied 🙂 that's the only way I can stay away from that stupid phone haha I will see how it goes and it's been 30+ hrs since the last contact (after he said LY) jeez this is so bizarre :s

I do apologise if the flow of the story is a bit everywhere, trying to recall the whole thing from the start 😢 it's to many 'buts','may bes' 'ifs' here. One side of my head is telling me 'fxxk it why get so involved? U don't deserve to be treated like door mat' on the other side IRS like 'ooh give it time n be patience' friends never seen me being like this n they all got a bit worried and stro gly against me to go visiting him :/

Anyhow thank you again for all ur honest opinions and help real,y really appreciate it 🙂 i'll be the strong happy moo again soon (hopefully) haha. Now you see words aren't my strength to express my feeling n self, I'm more the action type and shame that do t really know how to do it in LDR 😢

The emotion roller coaster isnt easy to ride, it's been 2 days haven't heard anything from him. Wanted to initiate a contact but then if u felt that otherwise isn't care about you then u still cling on to it, isn't it thick skin? So contradictive...wanna show him I still think of him and care yet also showing signs of desperate and weak. Felt like the ants on a hot pan now haha what would u do if you were in my situation?

@KittyKnitter:

Hiya. Thanks for ur reply and it has been 5 days since we last spoke which I told him i love him too and need to hit the sack after a night out then up again lunching with boss. I asked him what he was going to do that day he told me just had lunch and hit the gym soon but by then I fell asleep as I was shattered! Then nothing from him since...absolutely nothing tho he still went on whatsapp at the times he usually be in bed etc. I told myself, get the picture silly moo! It's over...he doesn't care he might realised he made a mistake by saying love you while he never did! I stopped myself from getting in touch as I'm scared of facing the answer whether good or bad...that's part of my personality too. When I feel vulnerable, I turn my back on everything and live in my mee world n having my mee time! Basically just shut myself off completely from outside work. ( except work, we all have bills to pay dont we?) I'm getting more nervous when he 'around' I can't be my natural self since I started having feeling for him! I dont know how long this will last, days? Months? Years? I don't know. I even cancelled the trip without telling him! MAY BE its the best for not even meet up and all I will miss will be the imaginative him with his voicemail n voice clips he sent me.

Unsure if I'm soon the right thing? Spoken to a friend today tho her man isn't a cancer but seems like men do it in general as her fellow went quiet for a while them reappeared like nothing happend! Guys friends said just drop a line say hi r u ok? Some strongly not recommend I should do so. Anyone has any other thoughts?

I'm like the typical Bristish weather here haha do miserable and dull haha

hi all, i'm finally back! just to keep things updated...when i booked my trip at the beginning, text him its all done and just waiting to go! he replied, 'great new!' and followed by 'LY' i thought wow if thats what it supposed to mean LY = love you...anyway small talk on & off til i went ahead with the trip but instead of 2 weeks as planned only went for 4 days and 3 nights. Didnt tell him its been changed etc as he was soooo aloof i thought he wouldnt care anyway so why bothered and made myself THAT important. Cut the long story short. He saw my pictures posted on weChat and commented then asked when am I going up (toChina), it took me good 11 hours to think abut whether to reply or not. So i did. Anyhow, brief convo with him and explained why i changed my planned due to family matters and such. he told me ive been really busy lately and didnt wanna bother me (my status on whatsapp, as I didnt wanna be disturbed for work and personal reason) so i said the same thing to him. He said he had bad patches at work and all. Out of the blue he said 'miss u' my heart was pounding like no tomorrow. He said it be great to meet me etc. So i asked him if hes gonna free to meet me on those days just so happened i arrived on the same day as his mate so he said he has to be with him but he'll mine for sure. (oookaaay, cool) but first night i already have plans with friends so doesnt matter tbh. Second day, late lunch with friends so i text him of he still wanna meet up for dinner all i got was ' i cant tonight' so a thick skin me just said never mind may be tomorrow then so i just spent my second day with my friends again which was fine as i have seen them for many years.

back to the hotel went to bed about 1am (thursday night well more like friday morning haha) i thought ah well i'm here might as well make the most of my trip enjoy it and dont think about him now. slowly fallen asleep til i woke up 5am and for some reason i reach out to my phone i had few messages from him...'i'm home now wry?' 'asleep?' 'wanna have coffee?' 'call me' but whats the point its 5am im sleepy haha so forget it. i didnt contact him at all. When i get up at 8am, went sight seeing and heavy down pours i was drenched so back to the hotel rang my friend and arrange dinner...she forced me to ring him as that would be my last night in China leaving next day to HK before heading back to UK! i saod its no point i'm not gonna 'beg' him to meet fxxk that u know what i mean?

and surprisingly he text (btw i forgot to give him my china number so he cant ring me haha) asked me what i upto and wanna meet up for dinner so i text him y number and said am in hotel etc tell me where he wanid to go i'll meet him there. he rand straight away and asked me my hotel address and he'll pick me up then go together. little as i knew my hotel was only 20mins walk from his place! told him to ring me when he arrived at the lobby so i'll go down.

i was so nervous and finally he was in front of me he seems really stressed and tired apparently he's be working from home all dayon a report and kinda tired. We went for dinner he was much quiet than i expected BUT (yes bug BUT) his phone was kinda non stop buzzing ...yup messages from people and he just replied and at one point he giggled and i have to pretend that i'm ok with it deep down i just wanna go. all of the sudden he told he's been talking to this girl. i just said 'oh' . as dinner went on we had a chat mostly i did the talking as he was THAT quiet (may be cant be arced i dunno). we went for a drink and it was a very noisy bar i didnt even know he's friend was joining us til he just appeared out of nowhere! as his friend arrived, all i heard him said to his friend was 'tried to get (girl's name) out, but she said not coming as he asked her at last minute!' my heart sunk, yup all i wanted to do was cry. i felt like i was only there for killing the time may be? as he music was shite and loud, we decided to sit outside it was cool for me but cold for them hahaha but still me & his friend got on so well and we just had a great laugh (i feel comfortable and relax with guys that i dont have tiny bit of feeling with) and my 'date' askedhis friend if he can take a picture of us, i was like 'oh ok, why u bothered?'

we decided to go clubbing after the drinks, and i went hit the dance floor right away as music was really good cant resist u know haha. as i walked back to our table for a drink, he grabbed my hand and held me in his arm (wasnt a sitting ones, those high table and high chair type) and kissed my head asked me if i was ok then he kissed my on my lips and we had a brief snog. Went back to the dancefloor these guys are like around me and started physical contact such as picked me up and spun me around a=i hated it so back to the table he held me in his arms again.

as the night finished he went into the same taxi as i did but honest to God at the point i already jumped into the conclusion that he has someone else on his mind i'm nothing anymore. went back to the hotel he came with me, tho he can actually just go home with his friend as they live together. anyhow, made him a coffee and i really was tipsy (i still remember i said to him in the taxi that the reason i came because of him etc kinda pour my heart out but cant really recall exactly what i said to him) and i said if u wanna shower or taking contact lenses off i got everything in bathroom help urself. so he went into the shower its a big glass wall so its no difference whether u close the dor or not,]. as he in the shower i just do y own thing by the sink taking contacts off and brush my teeth hahaha i saw him staring me even i caught hi he wont look away...

he came out from the shower went behind me and held on to me tightly. i remembered i said i'm no good for you and i know it. i know theres alot of girls after u and i'm just no good at all. he said please stop saying that. and guess what i started packing as its already half 3 a.m. and i need to check out 12noon! as i was packing he saton the bed watching me til he grabbed my hand and pulled me on top of him til we both laid on the bed. he held on me tightly again so i asked him tell me more about urself and he told me he's divorced and had 2 boys etc i was pleased that he told me bit more about his personal life. i also asked what he want, he said he didnt know what he want 😢 then u all would know whats next. yes we did.

afterwards, he offered if i wanna leave my bags at his place then we can go sightseeing or shopping if i want. i said see how it goes as i was knackered at that point already. next day we started packing and went back to his. he showed me round his place and asked if i was hungry. he said he'll cook me lunch! he got changed and we went to the market together, as we stepped out the building he grabbed my hand like naturally. i didnt pull back just let him take my hand and walk. my head was spinning i ddnt know what to do again what is he thinking?
back to his he cooked me lunch wont let me help i can only go in the kitchen watch him and standing beside him, i was so scared of touching him or hold him so i decided just back off. i sat on the couch slowly falling asleep again he told me to sleep in his room but i refused so he took his pillow and quilt out for me

even put movie on laptop for me...had our lunch it was really tasty but by that point my head was spinning i just wanna get away! we ended up spending whole afternoon at his place a bit of chit chat and purely just chill out. i slept on his laps he didnt avoid me, i touched his face and smiled at him he smiled back. i was lying on the couch i looked at him in the yes said that i 'm gonna miss him.. he leaned on my chest and said he missed me too...as time went, time for me to go...he took me downstairs to catch a taxi he didnt go to the airport with me. taxi arrived got my stuff in, i was about to close the door he leaned towards me and kissed my lips a very intense kiss 3 times if it wasnt the damn car behind beeping i can see it'll be another snog.

that was the last time i ever seen him...i was ok until i boarded, the flight slowly moving towards the run way my tears started to drop and cried my eyes out...i missed him but why did i behave like that? i wished i never missed that text message at 3 am may be i can talk to him a bit more. i blamed myself for being stupid and useless. i text him while just before leaving HK saying that thank you for everything really enjoyed it and looking forward to see him in march (oops forgot to mention i did say to them i'll be back in march for another holiday haha) and asked him if i can have his email i had something to send him he replied right away 'sure. xxx@xxxx' then said have a comfy and safe flight dear. (he always call me dear)

i havent heard from him since and i've not initiate any contact either as i'm too nervous dont know what to say! i wanted to send him an email to confess my feeling to him also not pushing for a relationship as we are 5k+ miles away from each other and he only just started his business in a foreign country its hard for him already so i wouldn't push him at all.

so thats the full story...what should i do everyone? i heard cancer men loves boobs and curves and i'm more like petite and slim athlete type (which he told me when we first met he like athlete look women) i was being myself all the way, i'm not a girly girl, but i can be a guys' guy type of woman if u know what i mean so for cancer loves girly girl looks like i blown my chance big time! what really bugging me now is that should i text him to talk to him again like we used to and email him to cinfess myself or simply just move on? lots of friends told me he might be waiting for my action as he can be shy.

sorry if i have bored u all with all these posts but as the title says it all, i'm desperate for some advice...if i confess i might be a laughing matter in his eyes as i slept with him already he might not even have tiny bit of respect for me no more. i would love to hear from you all. Any opinions would be appreciated. Not been sleeping and eating properly since also period is LATE! am going to find out next few days as it could be stressed :s

Thanks everyone for reading my 'story' and hope to hear from you all soon. Night from now 3 hrs slp til work...ah well its friday woohOo! xxx