Are these signs of depression?

My cancerian ex and I have stilll maintained contact as 'friends'.We have known each other for over 3yrs now(been more than 2 yrs since we brokeup) and I still care about him very very much. He cares about me too,to some extent. Anyway,so things have been a bit too abnormal off late.

It's been more than 2 months that our conversation has been nothing more than a hi,how are you,whats going on. He'll just give a monosyllable reply. Whenever I ask "what you upto?",he'll just say "nothing" even though he is doing something. When I ask "what you did today?" ,he'll say "nothing" even though I can hear him roaming around with his friends.When I tell him that I can hear his friends and I know he's hangingout with them so why can't he simply say that,he says "that's just nothing to me". Why can't he just answer like normal people saying what is he actually doing!?!It's like,I have to ask him questions to try to dig out words from his mouth. He went on a tour and I asked how did it go and again,he just said "good". Like seriously what??

Now that is one.Now the other thing is when I ask him something,he'll suddenly say "that's an irrelevant question". Few days ago when I asked him if he has seen any movies lately,he said yes.When I asked which,he said "i don't know". So I asked whether a new or an old movie and he said "irrelevant question" and I was like WTF!!! Then when we talked this Thursday and were hanging up and he said enjoy,I asked "I don't know how you enjoy these days.How do you?". He said "that's an irrelevant question.It doesn't matter". I said "of course it matters.You are my friend".He said "So? I have a life and you have yours.What I do or don't do,shoudn't matter to you or to anyone and vice versa." I couldn't make sense of why is he talking like this.He continued "I find all these things irrelevant. Questions keep getting layered and layered and layered.How did you go to work?Bus or cab?How is the work going?Did you eat well?When will you return? (i haven't asked any of these to him) All these questions are irrelevant and nobody gets to ask me all this,including my family. I am not saying all this only in your context.This is how it is with everyone,including you." He continued,"A friend of mine keeps questioning how is so and so city?How is the food?What's the price like?Did you meet anyone?I find all these highly nonsense and irrelevant. I don't ask such questions to anyone so I don't like to be asked such things.Even to you,when you ask what am I doing,I say nothing.It doesn't mean I am doing nothing.It means I am either browsing or watching tv or playing on my phone or doing something." I was trying to understand him. He kept saying "it's not just you.What I am saying is in context of everyone in my life".He continued "when I say I am watching tv.Then that' it.No more questions.When I say I am browsing something.Then that's it. Move on.No more questions.Such questions ruin the conversation." I told him what conversation is he talking about because a conversation starts with a simple question of "hi,what you upto" and that he has not initiated anything much of his own in these last 2 months and the only reason we still talk is because I ask him questions ,he replies in monosyllables and I blabber. He said "well,then if I have not initiated then I don't regret. I have stopped regretting things". We hung up after 1.5hrs of talk and he again immediately texted me saying "Don't get it wrong.It was for everyone,including you". I said, "I understand". He read and that's it.

It's never been this horrible.I understand how constant questioning can get irritating but all that he said was not normal to me. Is this a sign of depression? He works for a good company and gets paid well but he has been working from home for over a month now and he has been too bored by that. His other colleagues have been given interesting projects in different cities but he hasn't received one yet so I know he's frustrated about that. Do you think he is depressed and that might be the main reason behind this behaviour? Also,what can I do about it?

Sorry about the long read and many thanks!

No, he is fine. You are bothering him. None of my friends are intrusive like this. If you want to communicate with him, be more creative and ask about something he really likes (hobbies, interests). His life is his concern, not yours. You should stop mothering him. Maybe he wants to meet someone new. What will you do? Keep asking what is he doing with his new GF? Both of you should loose the strings and move on.

Posted by compy
No, he is fine. You are bothering him. None of my friends are intrusive like this. If you want to communicate with him, be more creative and ask about something he really likes (hobbies, interests). His life is his concern, not yours. You should stop mothering him. Maybe he wants to meet someone new. What will you do? Keep asking what is he doing with his new GF? Both of you should loose the strings and move on.

I understand why would you say that. When people mention "ex",they immediately tend to stereotype the situation and jump on to "move on"."He's not interested.He wants someone new" and label the person to be some crazy intrusive ex.

This is different. We are close friends first and then an ex. It's not that it's just been me texting him all the time.Sometimes I do,sometimes he does. When he says something to upset me, he sends me a joke to make me laugh. If I am unwell,he'll still call to ask if I am doing better.We talk every weekend.Either I text or he does. All that is still there. Also,I am not sure what you mean by none of your friends are intrusive. Don't ya'll ask each other what's going on in life? And you find it intrusive if a friend asks you which movie did you last watch? Man,our definition of friendship is clearly different then.

He repeatedly said that it's not just me but everyone in his life that he's talking about. I don't ask him how did he go to office and what did he eat. He was talking about his family and how that annoys him now.

All I am asking is that is this sudden change in behavior a sign of depression and how can I,as a friend,handle this.

Posted by gia

Posted by compy
No, he is fine. You are bothering him. None of my friends are intrusive like this. If you want to communicate with him, be more creative and ask about something he really likes (hobbies, interests). His life is his concern, not yours. You should stop mothering him. Maybe he wants to meet someone new. What will you do? Keep asking what is he doing with his new GF? Both of you should loose the strings and move on.

I understand why would you say that. When people mention "ex",they immediately tend to stereotype the situation and jump on to "move on"."He's not interested.He wants someone new" and label the person to be some crazy intrusive ex.

This is different. We are close friends first and then an ex. It's not that it's just been me texting him all the time.Sometimes I do,sometimes he does. When he says something to upset me, he sends me a joke to make me laugh. If I am unwell,he'll still call to ask if I am doing better.We talk every weekend.Either I text or he does. All that is still there. Also,I am not sure what you mean by none of your friends are intrusive. Don't ya'll ask each other what's going on in life? And you find it intrusive if a friend asks you which movie did you last watch? Man,our definition of friendship is clearly different then.

He repeatedly said that it's not just me but everyone in his life that he's talking about. I don't ask him how did he go to office and what did he eat. He was talking about his family and how that annoys him now.

All I am asking is that is this sudden change in behavior a sign of depression and how can I,as a friend,handle this.

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Yes, I have a completely different understanding of a friendship. I like my life to be private. I do not even ask my SO all those. Because we are very open and there is no need to be intrusive like that. If there is something I like, I share it with my friends without being forced to react to their questions.

You actually want his unaltered attention. Let him be. He needs space, so be it. We are all human.