Cancer man suspicious, is this causing him to distance himself from me?

So i've still been talking to my cancer man randomly, nothing serious. I've come to the point where I accepted the fact that he and I were only ever going to be fwb. But get this, though i've tried to see him, and he says that he misses me a lot, we haven't seen each other in 3 months.

So a couple of days ago, I finally confronted him about this, and basically told him that if it (sex) wasn't ever going to happen (we both agreed to monogomy), that I was going to move on. I asked him, so are you going to let me go? He responds with, i'm sure you already are lol, come on. You love sex, you have someone else, or someone from your past. All of which is not true at all!

I have distanced myself from him because I don't want to keep hurting myself emotionally, but maybe I sent the wrong impression? Would a cancer man who feels as if he is being played, back off both emotionally and physically?

Depends. Sometimes I back off other times I step up & "fight" for what I want. But I'm a female, males sometimes act differently than females would.

Posted by CalmCrab22
Depends. Sometimes I back off other times I step up & "fight" for what I want. But I'm a female, males sometimes act differently than females would.

Ok, well in this instance, what would be your reaction?

I used to text him every other day, ask him how his day was, get pissed off when he wouldn't make plans to see me, now I don't, because what's the point? I feel as if he wants to be catered to, fawned over, made to feel important, but yet I don't get any of those things in return. It's like i'm the man in this "relationship"!

I really don't know what he wants. When I try and keep in contact with him more frequently, I feel as if i'm annoying him, but when I don't, he makes up ridiculous scenarios in his head. I can't fucking win!!!!

Lol sounds familiar to me. Any which way you will lose, because he runs so many scenarios in his mind without reason. Let it be, he lives in a world of his own, and you will get tired attemting to understand!

Sound like he just playing head games and just want sex . He may ask you did you have someone because you wasn't contactin him..just on fwb. Either way it seem like you want more..so having him a round would be just headache.

Posted by Starry22
Lol sounds familiar to me. Any which way you will lose, because he runs so many scenarios in his mind without reason. Let it be, he lives in a world of his own, and you will get tired attemting to understand!

Well if he'd just be fucking mature enough to ASK me, I could put his mind at ease. And it's really interesting that he accuses me of this, yet he's 26 years old, and hasn't had sex in 3 months?! Yeah, come on....

Posted by butterfly30
Sound like he just playing head games and just want sex . He may ask you did you have someone because you wasn't contactin him..just on fwb. Either way it seem like you want more..so having him a round would be just headache.

Lol, well if he wanted sex, i'd think he'd try a little harder, no? It's been 3 months since we've been intimate. Yet just a week ago, he sent me a video. Why—?

And yes i'd honestly would love a relationship with him, but I know it's not gonna happen, so I told myself that I would settle for just fwb, yet that isn't even happening. Do you think that him accusing me of having somebody else, is his way of ending things? Meaning, he's not man enough to be honest with me, so he plays up this shit to look like it's my fault.

Posted by SuperMercurial
You should have been like, there's a difference between liking sex a lot and liking sex a lot with a specific person you jerk! That's what I would have done, but I always escalate the feelings between me and other people.

Hahaha, well I am too nice to do that I guess. Though I did make it a point to say that I only loved sex with HIM, that I didn't give a shit about anybody else.

it's defensive, the way you said it was like you're basically saying you're breaking up with him and just wanted him to agree. the distancing part could add into it.

so he's either picking a fight or gauging your seriousness, he may not know or believe you just want to see him

Posted by rabidtalker
it's defensive, the way you said it was like you're basically saying you're breaking up with him and just wanted him to agree. the distancing part could add into it.

so he's either picking a fight or gauging your seriousness, he may not know or believe you just want to see him

I said it like that, because he always just agrees with me, yet when I push for a more definitive answer, rather than just ok, he replies back in riddles, we both get over it, and then we're fine again. Like why say ok, but yet keep entertaining me? If HE was serious about us being over, why doesn't he just stop all contact?

And we're not fighting atm, and of course I want to see him! Omg, how much clearer does he want me to be lol?! His last argument as to why we haven't seen each other, is because he didn't know that I didn't have the girls on his nights off, yet he never asked. The month before that, he was living with his mom, and in the previous month, we were constantly fighting.

Posted by Jkats

Posted by butterfly30
Sound like he just playing head games and just want sex . He may ask you did you have someone because you wasn't contactin him..just on fwb. Either way it seem like you want more..so having him a round would be just headache.

Lol, well if he wanted sex, i'd think he'd try a little harder, no? It's been 3 months since we've been intimate. Yet just a week ago, he sent me a video. Why—?

And yes i'd honestly would love a relationship with him, but I know it's not gonna happen, so I told myself that I would settle for just fwb, yet that isn't even happening. Do you think that him accusing me of having somebody else, is his way of ending things? Meaning, he's not man enough to be honest with me, so he plays up this shit to look like it's my fault.

click to expand

Are you the one that come to him most of the time for sex? I assume that because you talk about being the aggressor. By reading your op I figured he was just lazy and allowing you to make the moves far as sex.. Do he sound honestly concern about you finding someone else? DO he seem irritated or just saying it in a playful way? I also don't think it's no one fault because didn't you both decided to be fwb. I am just thinking he contact you for sex reasons.

Posted by Jkats

Posted by CalmCrab22
Depends. Sometimes I back off other times I step up & "fight" for what I want. But I'm a female, males sometimes act differently than females would.

Ok, well in this instance, what would be your reaction?

I used to text him every other day, ask him how his day was, get pissed off when he wouldn't make plans to see me, now I don't, because what's the point? I feel as if he wants to be catered to, fawned over, made to feel important, but yet I don't get any of those things in return. It's like i'm the man in this "relationship"!

I really don't know what he wants. When I try and keep in contact with him more frequently, I feel as if i'm annoying him, but when I don't, he makes up ridiculous scenarios in his head. I can't fucking win!!!!

click to expand

My crab is very similar. I think he should be more direct but I remember he's a crab & we are never direct.

He probably doesn't know what he wants. He likes you to some extent or would have no reason to contact you. We have a hard time getting into relationships bc we are giving up freedom which is hard for us bc we are so go with the flow we feel it's a bother to others the way we live sometimes & we don't like change much either.

Pressing him to have sex will back fire. I'm super sexual with the right person. Otherwise I do not like to be touched in anyway. The crab I'm with wasn't having enough sex with me and I complained about it a few times & got no where. He claimed he had a lot on his mind :-/ but When I gave up on the entire thing a week later I got an all nighter full of surprises.

Hence us not reacting well to being pushed.

He asks you questions in a round about way or assumes things just to see you reaction in a safer way. We feel as if we look less stupid by handling it that way. He wants to directly know the answer but can't ask directly bc he feels foolish or thinks he will look foolish if you have been with other people. It will hurt his pride even if he isn't on a romantic level with you. It's a problem some of us know that we have and it's not easy to correct.

He's dangling you on a string, that why he keeps contacting you. He's keeping you on the bench but I'm sure he's still playing the field.

I had a very similar cancer, he didn't make statements about me fucking other guys, but would disappear for months, then when he'd show up again he always ask when the last time I had sex was. and he'd always try to tell me the his last time was with me. Like I'd believe that, especially when he brought it up so much, it seemed really suspicious. The only thing that made me curious was why he would try so hard to convince me since we weren't monogamous. I never got upset about it, it wasn't my place to care who he fucked, but I definitely let him know that I didn't believe him.

If you want to save yourself from more hurt, I suggest just ending things, because he's not magically going to develop feelings for you. If he had feelings for you already, you wouldn't be on there asking these questions because you wouldn't have any doubt.

He's doing the crab sideways sidle.

IMO he's asking for reassurance... In a really roundabout way, yesh.

BUT he's not fully invested.

You might be an ego-stroke for him at the mo, but if indirect riddles are not your cup of tea, it's time to move on anyways. I adore Cancer boys but if you aren't patient then it's best to start dating someone else.

And like people have said. Regardless of sun sign any man will generally make it apparent they want you and only you fairly directly- yesh, nods, even the crab guys lol

Posted by starlover
I will say it again

Women that agree to a FWB with men are compromising themselves

I only have room or desire for FB or FWB at certain points in my life. Sometimes I am the only that just wants the D.

Rather women that settle for less than the relationship they desire are compromising but not all women in FB/FWB want more.

not a cancer but I've done 2 years of studying horoscopes, so heres my opinion 😛

-hes doing the crab dance, side stepping and asking hell weird questions

-he's making scenarios (my crab does that too) by over thinking things

-it seems that 3 months to cancers is nothing anyway (I've read stories of them taking years just to ask someone on a date)



"I have distanced myself from him because I don't want to keep hurting myself emotionally, but maybe I sent the wrong impression?" Just being a pisces here with my rose coloured glasses and deep thinking - maybe the fact that you have settled for fwb has disturbed him? maybe he is after something more with you....



"Would a cancer man who feels as if he is being played, back off both emotionally and physically?" Yes I totally think so. And to add to this, I think very subtle tiny details can throw them off (signs no one would think rational)



my advice: if you want a better outcome with a cancer, you need patience. patience patience patience. and don't throw so much onto his plate. Just let him be, be the person you want to be. Be clear with him, then let him play the next card. He'll come back if he wants something

If your FWB, why does this thread exist? Monogamy? WTF