Cancer men

Hey guys!

I'm currently (well kind of always) having problems with my cancer man keeping his promises!! He says he will come and get me for a coffee/break in 45mins but takes 2 hours because someone came in and he decided to have a chat with them. I ended up having to go to him - even then he didnt come out of work to spend some time with me.

He's taken me to work and he said he would pick me up at 4 obviously, but his meeting conversation went on "longer than expected", and I had to call my mum to pick me up 😱 He asked if I wanted to see a particular movie with him, a couple weeks later I asked when we were going to see it and he said he has seen it already with his friend which crushed me. He's missed family dinners which was so embarrassing for me as well!!

I don't know what to say to this man. We've talked, he's said he is sorry but there's been no change. I'm lost for words.

I feel like i'm doing 90% of the communication and it's exhausting.

Any ideas?

It sounds like there isn't enough communication going on even though you feel as though you're putting in the 90% .

Cancers can get distracted easily and with those people that he gets carried away in conversation with, he's probably not doing it on purpose.

I think he doesn't feel insecure that you will leave him because he isn't too concerned to keep his promises. whether that is because he doesn't care for you much or because he is too comfortable with you I dont know..

Have you dropped plans at the last minute with him before?

Do you regularly change your mind about when you want to do things?

Posted by Isabeau90
It sounds like there isn't enough communication going on even though you feel as though you're putting in the 90% .

Cancers can get distracted easily and with those people that he gets carried away in conversation with, he's probably not doing it on purpose.

I think he doesn't feel insecure that you will leave him because he isn't too concerned to keep his promises. whether that is because he doesn't care for you much or because he is too comfortable with you I dont know..

Have you dropped plans at the last minute with him before?

Do you regularly change your mind about when you want to do things?

Once he starts talking to someone I have to almost drag him away so we can go home!!

He lives with me so we see each other every night before we go to sleep. I think he's pretty comfortable and knows I wouldn't leave. Unfortunately this is the only time I actually see him as we dont have any days off together from work :/

I have never ever dropped plans last minute, I hate doing that and I never change my mind once we've made plans. I'm pretty decisive, especially since I don't get much time with him before we sleep. I try to squeeze in what I can but again.. feels very one sided.

Posted by Nevermore
Are you in the relationship with him?

indeed

Posted by kiwibean

Posted by Isabeau90
It sounds like there isn't enough communication going on even though you feel as though you're putting in the 90% .

Cancers can get distracted easily and with those people that he gets carried away in conversation with, he's probably not doing it on purpose.

I think he doesn't feel insecure that you will leave him because he isn't too concerned to keep his promises. whether that is because he doesn't care for you much or because he is too comfortable with you I dont know..

Have you dropped plans at the last minute with him before?

Do you regularly change your mind about when you want to do things?

Once he starts talking to someone I have to almost drag him away so we can go home!!

He lives with me so we see each other every night before we go to sleep. I think he's pretty comfortable and knows I wouldn't leave. Unfortunately this is the only time I actually see him as we dont have any days off together from work :/

I have never ever dropped plans last minute, I hate doing that and I never change my mind once we've made plans. I'm pretty decisive, especially since I don't get much time with him before we sleep. I try to squeeze in what I can but again.. feels very one sided.

click to expand

You both dont have enough time for each other. He would be sorry but I think he knows that there is not much he can do about it. He went to the movies with his friends and forgot about you wanting to go but his friends were probably making a time to go watch it when it didnt match your schedule? ..and thats not his fault.. he's quite social then and Id say he appreciates your independence and might not realise how much this affects you.

I would suggest talking to him about organizing a weekend or a couple of days that works for the both of you to get off from work? to spend some quality time together.... it sounds like the relationship really needs it. Bringing it up more than once would be a good idea too because with so much going on he might forget.

He's not making you a priority. He sounds bored and unhappy with you.

This is what it looks like when a man is inconsiderate and boundaries aren't set.

Posted by Isabeau90

Posted by kiwibean

Posted by Isabeau90
It sounds like there isn't enough communication going on even though you feel as though you're putting in the 90% .

Cancers can get distracted easily and with those people that he gets carried away in conversation with, he's probably not doing it on purpose.

I think he doesn't feel insecure that you will leave him because he isn't too concerned to keep his promises. whether that is because he doesn't care for you much or because he is too comfortable with you I dont know..

Have you dropped plans at the last minute with him before?

Do you regularly change your mind about when you want to do things?

Once he starts talking to someone I have to almost drag him away so we can go home!!

He lives with me so we see each other every night before we go to sleep. I think he's pretty comfortable and knows I wouldn't leave. Unfortunately this is the only time I actually see him as we dont have any days off together from work :/

I have never ever dropped plans last minute, I hate doing that and I never change my mind once we've made plans. I'm pretty decisive, especially since I don't get much time with him before we sleep. I try to squeeze in what I can but again.. feels very one sided.

You both dont have enough time for each other. He would be sorry but I think he knows that there is not much he can do about it. He went to the movies with his friends and forgot about you wanting to go but his friends were probably making a time to go watch it when it didnt match your schedule? ..and thats not his fault.. he's quite social then and Id say he appreciates your independence and might not realise how much this affects you.

I would suggest talking to him about organizing a weekend or a couple of days that works for the both of you to get off from work? to spend some quality time together.... it sounds like the relationship really needs it. Bringing it up more than once would be a good idea too because with so much going on he might forget.

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Yeah that all makes sense. We are going away in a couple weeks and then going overseas for a week not long after so we'll have some time together soon which i'm excited about!! ? Finally get some time to just relax with each other

The whole problem with your situation is he's a dick. He lacks any kind of consideration towards you.

Ideas? Yup. 180 degrees the other direction. Guys who are truly into you make excuses to be around you, not make excuses to be away.

Posted by TemporaryKodak

Posted by kiwibean
Hey guys!

I'm currently (well kind of always) having problems with my cancer man keeping his promises!! He says he will come and get me for a coffee/break in 45mins but takes 2 hours because someone came in and he decided to have a chat with them. I ended up having to go to him - even then he didnt come out of work to spend some time with me.

He's taken me to work and he said he would pick me up at 4 obviously, but his meeting conversation went on "longer than expected", and I had to call my mum to pick me up 😱 He asked if I wanted to see a particular movie with him, a couple weeks later I asked when we were going to see it and he said he has seen it already with his friend which crushed me. He's missed family dinners which was so embarrassing for me as well!!

I don't know what to say to this man. We've talked, he's said he is sorry but there's been no change. I'm lost for words.

I feel like i'm doing 90% of the communication and it's exhausting.

Any ideas?

You are dating a bit of an airhead. It just is what it is.

click to expand

This, cause I'm dealing with an airhead too. lol

Give him space. Lots of SPACE like he needs to go back to the moon or something. One thing I know is when a cancer man is stressed do not complain or tell him what to do, instead do some less talking and offer a massage, cook him some dinner, and of course Netflix? Seriously they're ideal date night is at home alone w you! Don't force him to go out 😛 yeah they sound a bit selfish but once you do this he will do some crazy shit like take you on a trip.

My cancer did that at the beginning : bailing last minute , not showing up completely etc.

We communicate better now . He doesn't do it anymore but hes aware that back then what he did was a dick move. I've been with him for 4 years tho . Don't know if you wanna wait that long. Been a lot of pain until we got here

What I did was after being disrespectful to me too many times I ignored him . N when he have anything to say I remember telling him back then something like " i'm just going to disregard what you said since I can't trust your words anymore "

Posted by Scvrpio
Give him space. Lots of SPACE like he needs to go back to the moon or something. One thing I know is when a cancer man is stressed do not complain or tell him what to do, instead do some less talking and offer a massage, cook him some dinner, and of course Netflix? Seriously they're ideal date night is at home alone w you! Don't force him to go out 😛 yeah they sound a bit selfish but once you do this he will do some crazy shit like take you on a trip.

hahahaha okay! sounds good, I can do that. The man loves his movies and lying in bed with me! I'll just let it flow