Cancer Men & Tests?

I was reading an old thread, and a Cancer man posted about how Cancers make women go through tests to basically determine whether they're able to stick around through their moods. I.e - He'll be sweet and amazing at first, then be moody and withdrawn to see how you'll react, then go back to his sweet self once he's confident that you're really there for the long run/understand him, blah blah. Is this true?

My Cancer is driving me nuts. Was the definition of a perfect man for the first 2-3 months, then got really withdrawn and confused about his feelings, AFTER my walls finally came down. My patience is wearing thin...I think he's worth it, but I can't tell if I'm biased to this feeling because I love him.

Also, I thought about this the other day but didn't bother making a whole thread about it... I don't know about you guys, but I heard/witnessed first hand the wrath Scorpio men lay upon women, yet I see waaaaaaay more posts about women asking for advice regarding Cancer men, the 'nice-guys' of the zodiac. Errrmmm. Huh? 😄

Posted by Bells93
I was reading an old thread, and a Cancer man posted about how Cancers make women go through tests to basically determine whether they're able to stick around through their moods. I.e - He'll be sweet and amazing at first, then be moody and withdrawn to see how you'll react, then go back to his sweet self once he's confident that you're really there for the long run/understand him, blah blah. Is this true?

My Cancer is driving me nuts. Was the definition of a perfect man for the first 2-3 months, then got really withdrawn and confused about his feelings, AFTER my walls finally came down. My patience is wearing thin...I think he's worth it, but I can't tell if I'm biased to this feeling because I love him.

That might be true if something happened to make him feel insecure about how he stands with you (the testing). He might also be processing how he feels about things.
If you think he's worth it, tell him you're a little confused by the withdrawal, but that he's worth it (however you want to phrase things).

I thought we helped you on this Cancer guy. If you don't like how you are being treated, then don't put up with it. You know how you wanna be loved. As a Cancer man myself, I never put any women through these so call tests you are talking. Men who don't care about you will. Plus people from all signs are capable of this. So you gotta show that person who aren't some test, that you got feelings too. I wouldn't listen to what them internet blogs talking about either

Posted by Bells93
Also, I thought about this the other day but didn't bother making a whole thread about it... I don't know about you guys, but I heard/witnessed first hand the wrath Scorpio men lay upon women, yet I see waaaaaaay more posts about women asking for advice regarding Cancer men, the 'nice-guys' of the zodiac. Errrmmm. Huh? 😄

Oh, Cancer men can do the Scorpio wrath and destruction thing (and IMHO its a bit scarier when it happens).
It's just tough to stoke things to that level.
Just my opinion, but Cancer guys do tend to be nice guys, and not in the Beta sense. There are always a few exceptions to the Beta rule, though.

But you can't blame it on the persons Zodiac sign. May be its the men you are attracted to or is with, that is bad. So try looking it at it that way. You got a problem with your guy, not his sign. Go talk to him, & im sure you too can come to an agreement or at least work it out.

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by Bells93
I was reading an old thread, and a Cancer man posted about how Cancers make women go through tests to basically determine whether they're able to stick around through their moods. I.e - He'll be sweet and amazing at first, then be moody and withdrawn to see how you'll react, then go back to his sweet self once he's confident that you're really there for the long run/understand him, blah blah. Is this true?

My Cancer is driving me nuts. Was the definition of a perfect man for the first 2-3 months, then got really withdrawn and confused about his feelings, AFTER my walls finally came down. My patience is wearing thin...I think he's worth it, but I can't tell if I'm biased to this feeling because I love him.

That might be true if something happened to make him feel insecure about how he stands with you (the testing). He might also be processing how he feels about things.
If you think he's worth it, tell him you're a little confused by the withdrawal, but that he's worth it (however you want to phrase things).

click to expand

I did hurt him in the past, that I will admit to, and have been thinking that maybe it hit him a while after the fact. I think you're right. It's not anything drastic...he's still consistent, we still see each other multiple times a week, he's affectionate, etc. I exaggerated when I said very withdrawn lol. I meant that as far as opening up, he doesn't, really. He also told me about 2 weeks ago that he's unsure of his feelings, and that he feels like I have more feelings for him than he does for me. Which hurt me, but confused me as well because of how totally infatuated with me he was for months, and through our issues. And after telling me that, he's still continuing to see me on a regular basis & contacts me everyday.

Ohh by the way I wasn't trying to come off mean at all. I was just trying help you understand your situation. I hope things work out for you & your Cancer. Remember good communication is the key.

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
But you can't blame it on the persons Zodiac sign. May be its the men you are attracted to or is with, that is bad. So try looking it at it that way. You got a problem with your guy, not his sign. Go talk to him, & im sure you too can come to an agreement or at least work it out.

Oh, it's not just about any guy's zodiac sign, I know all this shouldn't be taken 100% seriously. I talk to him about it any time I have an issue, but sometimes an outsider's opinion is beneficial. That's all!

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
Ohh by the way I wasn't trying to come off mean at all. I was just trying help you understand your situation. I hope things work out for you & your Cancer. Remember good communication is the key.

I know, no harm done! 🙂

Posted by Bells93

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by Bells93
I was reading an old thread, and a Cancer man posted about how Cancers make women go through tests to basically determine whether they're able to stick around through their moods. I.e - He'll be sweet and amazing at first, then be moody and withdrawn to see how you'll react, then go back to his sweet self once he's confident that you're really there for the long run/understand him, blah blah. Is this true?

My Cancer is driving me nuts. Was the definition of a perfect man for the first 2-3 months, then got really withdrawn and confused about his feelings, AFTER my walls finally came down. My patience is wearing thin...I think he's worth it, but I can't tell if I'm biased to this feeling because I love him.

That might be true if something happened to make him feel insecure about how he stands with you (the testing). He might also be processing how he feels about things.
If you think he's worth it, tell him you're a little confused by the withdrawal, but that he's worth it (however you want to phrase things).

I did hurt him in the past, that I will admit to, and have been thinking that maybe it hit him a while after the fact. I think you're right. It's not anything drastic...he's still consistent, we still see each other multiple times a week, he's affectionate, etc. I exaggerated when I said very withdrawn lol. I meant that as far as opening up, he doesn't, really. He also told me about 2 weeks ago that he's unsure of his feelings, and that he feels like I have more feelings for him than he does for me. Which hurt me, but confused me as well because of how totally infatuated with me he was for months, and through our issues. And after telling me that, he's still continuing to see me on a regular basis & contacts me everyday.

click to expand

Then don't get too worked up or over think it.
Cancer men can be like onions with a lot of layers.
The fact that he told you what was going on inside him (confused about feelings) is actually a pretty big thing, IMHO. And if he's continuing to see you and contacts you, that's a good sign as well.
Keep in mind he'll have to withdraw from time to time.

@Bells that's kool 🙂. Well the other Cancers may be able to give u better iinsight on your situation. So don't worry ok.

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by Bells93
Also, I thought about this the other day but didn't bother making a whole thread about it... I don't know about you guys, but I heard/witnessed first hand the wrath Scorpio men lay upon women, yet I see waaaaaaay more posts about women asking for advice regarding Cancer men, the 'nice-guys' of the zodiac. Errrmmm. Huh? 😄

Oh, Cancer men can do the Scorpio wrath and destruction thing (and IMHO its a bit scarier when it happens).
It's just tough to stoke things to that level.
Just my opinion, but Cancer guys do tend to be nice guys, and not in the Beta sense. There are always a few exceptions to the Beta rule, though.

click to expand

Definitely agree, we can be the nicest people in the world most of the time, but when we feel hurt or threatened it can be terrifying. Most people when they see me get angry for the first time, it completely shocks them because they didn't even know I was capable of it.

Bells, you said you hurt him. What did you do, exactly? My guess is he's still hurt by it and doesn't feel you have made proper amends for it. This is one of the biggest problems I've had with earth signs: they THINK they did or said enough to "fix" it, but they did not, at least not by my standards. Keep in mind that Cancers are super intuitive and sensitive and we'll read a person like a book to gauge how sincere we think they are. Not saying this is the best route for us water signs to take, but we do take it.

Posted by MoonArtist
Bells, you said you hurt him. What did you do, exactly? My guess is he's still hurt by it and doesn't feel you have made proper amends for it. This is one of the biggest problems I've had with earth signs: they THINK they did or said enough to "fix" it, but they did not, at least not by my standards. Keep in mind that Cancers are super intuitive and sensitive and we'll read a person like a book to gauge how sincere we think they are. Not saying this is the best route for us water signs to take, but we do take it.

Well, I mentioned at the beginning of the post how crazy about me he was at first...I freaked out because I felt like things we're moving way too fast, and tried to break us off. I'm saying tried because he was adamant about staying friends, and was quickly able to reel me back in lol. This was in January, and since I've made a huge effort to show him how much I care & want to be with him. I'm still trying to make him understand through actions, consistency, kind words & support that he's the one I want to be with. But, I can understand that he would still be hurt, and that these things take time.

Also, how would I make proper amends for hurting him? I apologized multiple times for what happened, and like I said, I've been making a huge effort to reassure him and show him I'm not going anywhere since then. And I take full responsibility for my actions...if I were him, I'd kind of be worried about me bolting again too. I just don't know how else to show him how much I care.

This is why I love you guys...you all make me realize things I never would have realized without your insight! Also, I need to stop making posts past midnight lol. I woke up this morning and asked myself why I thought this was such a big deal..and couldn't come up with a reasonable answer 😄