going crazy

Posted by elevencats
Met this Cancer guy a few months ago, and we have been dating since mid-February. He's pretty attentive, but he is not very expressive of his feelings. I don't know what the hell we are doing. I've tried asking him directly but he's very evasive. Yet, he still responds positively when I want to see him. I've even met his mom, for Christ's sake. Is he grooming me for a future spouse, or just stringing me along? I can't tell!

Full disclosure, I have my ruling planet (Mars) in Cancer, so I tend to be somewhat Cancerian in nature myself. It's possible I'm just being too sensitive and need to be patient. But I'm at my wit's end here.

mid-february....that's 2 months, for god's sake!!!! and you're talking "spouse"——??

where are you hurrying———

what about using this time to evaluate and observe who he is and if he is what YOU need instead of wasting your time wondering what this thing is about?! most probably this is what he's doing.

You don't want to rush a Cancer and they don't like clingy people unless they already marry one. lol.

Well you two have only known each other for 2 months as others have said. Maybe he isn't that comfortable yet verbally expressing his feelings. Give him time & continue to be you, the same woman who attracted him in the 1st place. Another thing, for some Cancer Men in the beginning, it can be difficult expressing our feelings especially if we don't know you will or don't trust you. So don't force anything. Just let things flow naturally. If it's ment to be, you won't have to question anything he does.

If you can't handle this guy & his pace, then get out before you become too emotionally invested. I know you probably fell for him quickly, & that's ok. But give him time on verbally expressing things like emotions & feelings. I mean i like clingy (Very loving) women myself lol, idk about the other Cancer Men. BUT, i won't force them to love me, or make time for me either. You gotta think the same way. If a man not voluntarily doing things for you or freely expressing love, you don't need him.

Cancer Mars is probably explaining this deep attraction & the reason you fell quickly for the Cancer man or Cancer guys in general. I know this is hard for you, but try learning everything about him, both good & bad. You wanna make sure that he is reliable, 100% supportive. It may take awhile, but it's worth it. Look at like starting a new business. You gotta make sure your partner your hiring, is really in it for the long haul.

@elevencats Well the only way i express my feelings to a woman, is if i have a good idea that she likes me or at least shown some kinda interest. It can be hard at 1st to tell a lady my feelings. I can be a lil scared, so everything has to be right. I would like someone more direct than in showing their interest. But i will say something before it's too late. Your answer is actually at the end off your reply to me above lol. Most Cancers aren't direct at 1st until we know we can trust you. So you can be direct, but not forceful ok. Be sweet & let him be him. It's all you can do.

@elevencats It's not like has left you or not completely talking to you. So just let things happen naturally & calm down. Him still being in your life must mean something. So be thankful that you got someone & take it easy ok. I hope you enjoy your weekend. Remember, not all Cancers/people are the same. Take time to know him, & you'll be better off that way.

elevencats!

1. i think this "he introduced me to friends/family" is overrated.
2. "OK, but when you find a loving woman,....."...this is your opinion...why don't you allow him to tell you this if he REALLY thinks so?
3. as about initiating things...you're a woman...wear the dress in a relationship, preferrably a flowery one, not the pants...

how old are you, anyway...—

@mz don't worry about it ok. Don't let this situation get you worked up. I personally think we done enough. She has enough advice here to help her do right thing. We can't make that decision for her.

Yeah not all of us are rushing to getting married. Jeez I ran away from the bouquet at my friend's wedding. This is you. Nothing to do with how the planets were aligned when you were born. Just chill out and go to a yoga class or something. Get a twelfth kitten. Just chill.

Two months and you want to know if he's stringing you along? That's something a woman says after years of dating and not getting a proposal. And you're talking about his mom and marriage? Are you wedding obsessed? Meeting his mom probably means he was raised right. Not only is it proper to introduce your friends, girlfriends whoever but necessary to know who the hell is around your family. Especially these days with the scary, stalker obsessed types lurking around...

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
@mz don't worry about it ok. Don't let this situation get you worked up. I personally think we done enough. She has enough advice here to help her do right thing. We can't make that decision for her.

Thank you, 2BlackIndian3. I think I'm probably just insane, as some others here have mentioned. Everything blew up today when I tried to ask him what was going on, so I'm pretty sure it's all over -- I know Cancers don't forgive easily when something like that happens. I hope that's not true, but I fear I'm just too needy and messed up to have a relationship with anyone, Cancer or not.

Thank you, Caster. I think you're right about the fear of losing the other, and also, for me, I have a fear of being too open. I'm always worried people will come in and hurt me if I let them. I think some of that is just universal human stuff, but me and my Cancer also both have Scorpio rising, so there's a lot of watery stuff going on. I took the advice here to just step away for a bit and give myself and him some breathing room, and got a short, sweet text from him this afternoon. So I think you're right that it's just learning to feel each other's ebb and flow, and me learning to resist my astrological urge to jump in and control everything. Thanks to all who read and responded.

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I'm young crazy too! My cancer is confusiiiiiing