cancer man - long distance

Long story short. Things with my cancer man who changed me to girlfriend status not so long ago.
Which made me happy. We live in the same city and have been seeing each other for abour 9-10 months.He told me a few weeks ago his mother who does not live in our same city. That her health has not been doing well. He did not give me the details just said heart problems
He mentioned that if it gets worse he might have to move where she is. Staying with the same company.
Last friday he went to see his mom. Texted me we chatted. All was good. I saw him this week. Today I
found out that when he went to see his mom last week he interviewed for a spot in his moms city.
He didnt tell me a thing. Today I found out from people at work. Then one of the scorpio ladies at work got involved in the situation and shouldnt have. She called him and told him he better tell me. He texted me shortly after and said "im sorry i have trying to find a good time to tell you".
When he was talking about his mom, i was under the impression it wasnt very serious.
He also called me at my desk and he was at work too. So our concersation was limited and short. He said he wants to keep things going and that we will split the time between the two cities, that he wants to introduce me to his mom, that i might even get flowers from him time to time.
i dont want to sound like a debbie downer. But only a year and a half ago i had the same situation happen to me. I was dating a taurus guy and he moved and made alot of promises that NEVER happen. So I am a little skiddish. With every right to be given this is not my first rodeo.
Please let me know if cancer men are good at long distance?
Im scared. We are supposed to talk on sunday after he is done with work. I want him to know I support him in taking care of his mom. Actually I find it an admirable quality. Im just hoping it all works out. He texted me later this night telling everything will be fine.
Some insight please

Its cliche, but voice a note of concern for what is going on with his mother when you talk.
Ask about her status, how things are holding up. The fact that he wants to move closer is a clue.
The Scorp is probably doing you a favor by pushing him to tell you. Crabs are notorious for not sharing very personal issues.
If she's in ill health for real, he's being honest. He's giving you the time he can afford while he takes care of family.

i do understand your concerns, but you must realise nobody here can tell you if it will work or not.

stop comparing him to that taurus guy. this means bringing skelletons in this.

i think you have 2 options: 1. go on and see what happens[but don't stress that much], 2. give up because you are scared

@ CancerontheCusp-

I think he has been holding off the move as long as he could. He has been very limited as to what he has told me about her health.
He seems to keep telling me that everything will be ok. I thought we were going to see each other on Sunday and I texted him maybe three times, he wouldn't respond which is not like him. Finally I just asked why are you not responding.. Thinking maybe something is wrong. And finally he did respond and say hello. Then nothing after that.
Yesterday he chitty chatted with me about random stuff. But I really want to talk with him properly about the elephant in the room. His move.
I am going to let him take the helm on it. I don't want to push him.
I am more than willing to try to make this week.
Can an Cancer man be ok at a long distance?

but...can YOU manage a long distance relationship?

@ MZ-
If we are able to see each other on a pretty requent basis, and communication is good.. Then YES.
Are you a Cancer?

+1000

@mz

The important question is not whether Cancer men are good at long distance, because that's using a broad general information to understand a very complex individual. You can't do that... and the sooner you realize the better.

The big question is can YOU handle this ldr?... answer it honestly. Because the sooner you answer this truthfully the better off you are.

It doesn't matter how much you dig up Cancer men it will never change the facts between you and him.

You also have to be prepared for the chances of the communication to be not consistent and not frequent... you don't know what his mother is dealing with it could be very bad and in that case it could suck up a lot of his time.

Posted by woodenmeow
@ MZ-
If we are able to see each other on a pretty requent basis, and communication is good.. Then YES.
Are you a Cancer?

i'm an aqua in a ldr with a cancer man 😄

Lol idk about Long distance in my case. There would have to be good communication & seeing my partner at least once a week. It can be tough fir some Cancers. So you gotta talk with him about this & see if this long distance relationship is what both of you want. If you know you're not going to be happy, then don't do something you don't wanna do. Follow your heart on this decision

Lucky enough we both work for an airline and fly for free.
Also, currently he lives 7 mins away and I only see him maybe once a week and or once every two weeks.
So I think it will be status quo.
I do love him, so I am willing to do what it takes.

Well that's great you work for the airline. least you get to see him more than most people in those long distance relationships. Just keep the communication frequent like calls & love each other regardless. You should be just fine. As long as you two are ok with things, that's what counts 🙂 Have Faith

Thanks. I am crossing my fingers. He is the one that brought it up to keep it going.

Just try to stay positive and clear "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst"

I wish you the best of luck 🙂

Posted by xMoonMan

Posted by mz

i'm an aqua in a ldr with a cancer man 😄

Wow, that is intriguing.

click to expand

believe me...i myself find it intriguing...i've tried hard to understand why this works...apparently there are some aspects in our charts which are very powerful[pluto-venus, pluto-moon, pluto-mars, compatible moons, compatible mercury, venus-saturn, blah blah blah]+ a lot of intellectual compatibility+the wisedom of age 🙂)

Woodenmeow - Looks like some pretty good input here.

The big question was both from MZ and Xtina with respect to being willing to do a LDR.
The input from the Cancer males here already is pretty accurate.
I think an LDR can work, and maybe MZ could chime in, but I would think about what the "end game" is--are there plans to come closer together with a time frame?
Even if you two can see each other on a schedule like you're already doing, it would be tough to sustain it for an extended period of time.

I do wish you luck with this.

each relationship has its own dynamic...so...how things go btw me and my cancer man might not be the way things develop for 2 other people...

all i know is that i never panic if he doesn't call [he travels a lot abroad], i never send more than one message,etc.

i know he cares and he knows i care as well. we had our tough times some months ago, but i think any relationship goes through that at a moment or another, ldr or proximity relationship. the way we managed the situation then and a month ago strengthened our bond and this is what i aim at...to form a bond, not to get married next month or next year...so, COTC, no time frame...that will come...right now i focus on building that emotional bond which keep too people together and which cannot be broken easily...a marriage can end up in a divorce...a bond stays and we usually call it love...

and sth else...no matter how emotional cancer men are...they do fall for composed, sensible, classy women... at least that's my experience...

@ Xmoonman - Currently we only live 7 mins apart and we see each other every two weeks. Depending on the week, sometimes once a week. He was trying to designate a night to each other every week (date night). As far as living with each other, we had not gotten that far. Things just started to move in the right direction. Now we have to make decions about our future faster than I would have liked. I do love him, but not in love with him yet. We both have very strong feelings for each other, and he told me this move is all about his Mother and her health. Nothing wrong with us or unhappy. I want to be understanding given if the circumstances were swapped I would hope he would be the same for me. I hope that maybe our bond will get stronger since he knows I won't be around the corner.
I am in texas and he will be going to Tennessee. And he seems to have a plan for us spending time between both places. And was promising me to to meet his Mom, Flowers, More phone calls.
Past couple of days he has seemed a little distant. And hasn't said anything more about his move. We have texted about surface topics, how is your day, etc.
Why is acting like this?
Honestly it is not making me feel good about the sitatuation. I want to be in better communication, I hope this is not a hint of things to come. I won't be able to sustain a relationship without him and I being in almost everyday contact and seeing each other on a regular basis. Which I don't mind doing for the good of the relationship.
HELP?

long distance absolutely yes imo, we dont easily trow our properties even if its far away.. Its still belong to us, plus our patience to wait.. just establish your relationship , have open communication and mutual understanding.

but in ur case that he's being distant is a sign of unhealthy relationship and will get worst once you become long distance , just my opinion

woodenmeow...you live 7 mins apart and you see each other every TWO weeks—————??
a date NIGHT————
you do love him, but not in love with him———? i think you do care about him, not love him....

what do you expect a man in a ldr tell you? and how often do you expect to get in touch?
first, define that for yourself.

sincerely...i don't think you know where the two of you are, what ldr's are like and what you are in.

from my point of view you are confused about a lot of things.
but of course i may be wrong....

MZ - It varies from week to week. I think before this moving decison we were getting to a better schedule. He works ALOT. So that is the main reason for the gaps in time.
I spoke to him yesterday and he just keeps saying that I just need to calm down and everything will be fine. I think he has some kind of plan for us that he has yet to let me in on.
He went on a fishing trip this week, I asked when I was going to see him. He made a joke about making me wait forever. I said.. Nope.. That isn't nice.
I told him I miss him, want to see him. Things just are unsettled for me. He said he totally understood. And that he realizes how I found about his move wasn't good and that he planned of making it up to me for a lifetime for that moment. Which that makes no sense to me. I reassued him I wasn't going anywhere and was with him.
Then I said I will talk to you whenever... He said you don't have to be stranger but if I don't text you right away it's because I am fishing.
Please make some sense out of all of this.

Posted by woodenmeow
@ Xmoonman - Currently we only live 7 mins apart and we see each other every two weeks. Depending on the week, sometimes once a week. He was trying to designate a night to each other every week (date night). As far as living with each other, we had not gotten that far. Things just started to move in the right direction. Now we have to make decions about our future faster than I would have liked. I do love him, but not in love with him yet. We both have very strong feelings for each other, and he told me this move is all about his Mother and her health. Nothing wrong with us or unhappy. I want to be understanding given if the circumstances were swapped I would hope he would be the same for me. I hope that maybe our bond will get stronger since he knows I won't be around the corner.
I am in texas and he will be going to Tennessee. And he seems to have a plan for us spending time between both places. And was promising me to to meet his Mom, Flowers, More phone calls.
Past couple of days he has seemed a little distant. And hasn't said anything more about his move. We have texted about surface topics, how is your day, etc.
Why is acting like this?
Honestly it is not making me feel good about the sitatuation. I want to be in better communication, I hope this is not a hint of things to come. I won't be able to sustain a relationship without him and I being in almost everyday contact and seeing each other on a regular basis. Which I don't mind doing for the good of the relationship.
HELP?

Maybe it's fear on his end but I don't like the fact he's considering moving away from you and saying nothing to you about it. Depending how far away you are, might nix this relationship if there isn't an understanding between you two that you'll be moving out to be together. Circumstances are a HUGE factor in the momentum of a relationship, which makes starting them off right without any baggage, so important. Sounds like there are many unknowns here and that you'll need to wait and see how it all plays out. Try not to tar him with the feathers of your own past but don't ignore the signs either. It's not good that he was contemplating such a big move and told you nothing about it. Again, could be fear based on his part, but you gotta know the truth. Ask for it but be patient for awhile.

just MY humble opinion...you are not listening to what people tell you. you've totally lost your composure. if you don't put yourself together you're going to lose him, anyway. it's called self-sabotage.

put it this way: what do you think you'll win by showing him how badly you manage difficult times. you can be loving but levelheaded at the same time. behaving like this you practically put yourself in a begging position. why would you do that? you show him you don't trust him, you, both of you, the two of you.

or...maybe you really don't trust the 2 of you, after all...

what's your sun sign? you seem too emotional...as if your brain left when he left the town....

besides...a 7 mins distance...i would hardly name this ldr...it is practically the other neighbourhood...i don't understand you....

you either really don't trust what you have, or you are too controlling...

Posted by mz
besides...a 7 mins distance...i would hardly name this ldr...it is practically the other neighbourhood...i don't understand you....

you either really don't trust what you have, or you are too controlling...

Ohh, didn't realize it wasn't long distance. If true, girl you gotta stop shooting yourself in the foot.

MZ- I think you are misunderstanding. Currently he is 7 mins away. In about 3 weeks he is moving States away from me. We have both lived in Texas and now he is moving to Tennessee. For the past 10 months we have been in the same city but that is all about to change. That is why I did this post in the first place.
My sun sign is Pisces, and I really haven't contacted him. Just because I am trying to get my head/emotions together. And as far as trusting him. Well that is something he is going to have to rebuild because I really thought he should have given me a heads up that he was moving in the first place. I had to find out from other people not even from my cancer guy himself. Him moving really blindsided me. I am just scared of what is to be.
No I am no controlling. I also realize that I can't control anything that is happening and this effects my life. So if he looking at future with me, I would have like a little more heads up.
I guess only time will tell.

@Este8-
He is only in my same city for 3 more weeks then he is moving 2 states away.

Posted by woodenmeow
@Este8-
He is only in my same city for 3 more weeks then he is moving 2 states away.

Oooh, that's totally different. Thing is, he might well be very in love with you but pulled to be there for his mother. Therefore, I don't take his radio silence on interviewing as trying to deceive you. Sounds like he's trying to delay a sad ending. Really hope I'm wrong here but like I said b4, circumstance is crucial for the longevity of a relationshp.

Posted by woodenmeow
MZ- I think you are misunderstanding. Currently he is 7 mins away. In about 3 weeks he is moving States away from me. We have both lived in Texas and now he is moving to Tennessee. For the past 10 months we have been in the same city but that is all about to change. That is why I did this post in the first place.
My sun sign is Pisces, and I really haven't contacted him. Just because I am trying to get my head/emotions together. And as far as trusting him. Well that is something he is going to have to rebuild because I really thought he should have given me a heads up that he was moving in the first place. I had to find out from other people not even from my cancer guy himself. Him moving really blindsided me. I am just scared of what is to be.
No I am no controlling. I also realize that I can't control anything that is happening and this effects my life. So if he looking at future with me, I would have like a little more heads up.
I guess only time will tell.

your post was somehow unclear...you live in the same town, 7 mins apart...but you see each other every 2 weeks and he's been planning to have "one night whatever".... is this what you wrote?

@ Este8 - I agree. I do think he was/is trying to delay the sad part. He I found out from co-workers about his move to closer to his mom. I know he felt bad about me finding out that way. He said he wants make it up to me for a lifetime for the moment. Whatever that means.
Also, when he did go visit his mother I asked if he told her about me. He said no that she is very protective and wants to be the only woman in his life. That basically no woman is good enough for him. But when he told me about going, he said when I come to visit he wanted me to meet his Mom.
That makes me nervous.

@MZ-
Before this move. We were starting to spend more time together. His idea was to designate a date night for us. Now that he is moving, I am just scared of the changes and the unknown. And yes for quite along time we have only been seeing each other every two weeks. Part of the reason is he works ALOT. And when he does have down time I do know he enjoys he alone dude time.
I guess I will just have to wait and see how this all unfolds.

Psssh! People comment without reading,

living 7 mins apart and seeing each other every 2 weeks for 10 months...read this for 1000 times

read the entire post!

Me and the Cancer man talked on wed. Pardon the pun - but he was Crabby. He was talking about his move, and frustred. I was trying my best to help him figure it out. I told him that I felt unsettled about the move stuff and us. He said he was going fishing, and I said maybe when you get back we can chat. He said "I might make you wait even longer" He said it sorta snarky. The comment really rubbed me the wrong way. I told him I will talk to you whenever. Have a good trip. It was another 3 days before I heard from him. I got a text that said "Hello Unsocialable". We texted back and forth for a bit, and I told him I really didn't feel like he cared about me. That his actions are not making me feel confident that although he says he wants to continue a relationship. I told him I care about him, and he said that his heart is in it with me. I told him mine is too. It was alot of texting. But his responses did not really give me much reassurance about things with us. And I am really needing that.
Since all this news happened, I have not seen him or really had a nice talk with him. Its been almost two weeks.
I really did NOT want to have the convo via text, and I did even tell him that too.
He is back from his trip, and he did text me today. But its been very surface(text) conversation.
Any Cancer Peeps make a little more sense out of this??