cancer moodiness

so, I've spent most of my life living with a cancer, my dad, who can be intense, irritable and moody at times and others light-hearted and fun. Now in a freudian twist I'm dating a cancer who is very similar and having exactly the same problems - I'm a Gem so I want to talk about and analyse everything but he just goes into his shell and snaps at me with his pincers if I try to "push" him. He has plenty of space as after 3 months of dating we still only see each other two or three times a week but yesterday I invited him to come over and he said no as he was feeling down (he has been depressed lately) and then went on to say he wasn't being a good boyfriend to me and if I want to break up it was ok. That stumped me because that's the kind of thing people say when they want to break up but don't have the courage, but on Saturday we spent the evening together and he invited me to go on holiday with him! I'm confused because I don't know how to help him or what to do, help me?

Posted by tatbubba
and then went on to say he wasn't being a good boyfriend to me and if I want to break up it was ok. That stumped me because that's the kind of thing people say when they want to break up but don't have the courage, but on Saturday we spent the evening together and he invited me to go on holiday with him! I'm confused because I don't know how to help him or what to do, help me?

he might have just said that as a veiled request for reassurance or if he wants you to say its ok that he spends little time with you or... i suppose there are several things it could mean, i suppose the "give him space" suggestion is a good idea

I try to be there and I try to listen but me saying "I care about you and if you want to talk I am here" is according to him me being pushy and pushing him to talk when he doesn't want to speak to anyone. It's frustrating because I want to be there and I've had tough times too so I can listen and empathize but not if when you are down you don't let me in. So anyway I think it's right to give him space and sort out his head. I am too old for this anyway!

Anyway tonight we went for a drink and talked, he said he doesn't want to break up, told me some more personal stuff about him which explained why he was feeling down and also said he didn't like to open up to anyone and it took a long time for hiim to do that and he didn't do that even with his mother, because he didn't want to seem weak. To which I replied ok but in my experience confiding in someone about your troubles helps and who else can you do that with but a girlfriend... anyway.. let's see

If a Cancer is expecting to get his space whenever he is down, when is he ever prepared to provide care, comfort & concern to his significant other if he is always so caught up with his own emotions? Is Cancer just emotionally selfish & expects others to understand?

Well, I'm expected to get some space and understanding too when I need it and I am not cancer 🙂
If you have developed a good bond and loyal trusting relationship with one, cancer will be there
for you in your troublesome times. Just try to ask for support or what it is that helps you.
Don't be acting all needy and expecting things
and coming from ego though. They sense it and see right through you.

It's interesting how we all cope with things in different ways. Anyway I am still learning about who this guy is. I remember that he also said he didn't like to talk about feelings because that makes him look weak. He is also from a different country, so there are cultural differences there too.
Thanks for your help guys.