cancer sounds like a disease

I ve had cancer now for 26 years, 27 in 8 days. As a person we are awsome, better than almost everybody when we focus. we are given all the gifts in the world , but unfortunatly the world consists of more than ourselves, and 85 percent of it is nothing like us. id be content to screw some people over for personal gain, but i cant do it. Be with someone i dont really care about so I dont fell lonely, tell them i love them and snicker inside, but i cant. Being a cancer is like a disease. I acknowlge that as a whole, I am the most well rounded person I know. It's too bad i have to hide, guard, and protect it. Noone will ever know.

I'm not a Cancer but it sounds like to me that you are ashamed to have these good qualities you uptain. Do you really think its a bad thing that you can't find it in your self to "screw someone over" as you out it. Or that you can't be with someone just for the simple reason of being lonley? I mean it sounds like a positive thing to me. I guess I find it hard to understand where you are coming from. How much happiness could you gain if you did decide to act this way? Probably not a whole lot.

I'm not a Cancer but it sounds like to me that you are ashamed to have these good qualities you uptain. Do you really think its a bad thing that you can't find it in your self to "screw someone over" as you out it. Or that you can't be with someone just for the simple reason of being lonley? I mean it sounds like a positive thing to me. I guess I find it hard to understand where you are coming from. How much happiness could you gain if you did decide to act this way? Probably not a whole lot.

You shouldn't feel like you need to hide yourself from others. Maybe thats why you aren't finding the conncections you so strongly desire. People are unable to see the real you and therefor don't realize the great person you are inside. You need to just express who you are and eventually others will catch on, and if they don't, you are better off without them. A friend of mine once told me that I should only strive to surround myself with people who are going to appriciate the real me. DOn't be so negitive and maybe you won't drive others away so much. Make a concious effort to connect with others and you will. If you continue to focus on how you can't get ahead in life because you just don't fit the typical individual, than that is going to continue to be your reality until you change it. Be proud to be who you are and everyday continue to improve yourself. It will give you great satisfaction and people around you will notice. Sometimes the things we think are negitive in life are really just there to teach us a lesson. Look at the situation this way, when this is over you are going to come out a stronger person.

alright maybe its sounds real negative, i seem to be moody. imagine that. Its just that i see everything and can figure out almost anything and everyone. I know what pepole are doing and why before they even know. The world seems to work a certain way and its not the way that i do things. I am successful in business, because my jobs rely soley on my ability to createw what people want or better than they could have imagined. When you throw people in the mix who dont get it or dont think like i do(which is almost everybody) it makes chaos for me. i try to perfect everything i do, and people dont want perfect, everyones satisfied with passable. In relationships, same thing, you could put 100% into something, be what people should want or desire without being false or fake, but people like false and they like to be fooled. that makes life difficult. I complain, but I also admit that I wouldnt want to be superficial, and I couldnt imagine not feeling things as deeply as i do, be it a good or bad thing. Most people dont act or feel that way and it makes life hard to deal with because i feel like a circle trying to fit in a square hole when the hole should be round. Sorry for the ranting and complaining, but what can i say, ive got cancer.

Reading your last comments made me think of myself a lot to tell you the truth. Just like yourself, I feel like I have things figured out before others do too. It use to bother me because I felt too mature for my age at times, but I know that is has helped me avoid some awful situations. Because of this knowledge, I have manged to ditch the stupid things that people my age do. With me, I can meet someone for the first time and get to knwo them a little and understand their motovation and what they are trying to accomplish. Now that is cool, but trust me it can be devistating at times. Like for instance, because of it, I can say that I have never had a boyfriend. Now don't get me wrong trust me I could get one if I wanted, its just that the guys I meet don't come close to what I am looking for. Why is that you ask? Well I think its because I know so much about relationships and what is healthy and what isn't. I don't judge anyone and I give everyone a chance, but I always see that he is not the one. I'm not looking for marriage right now, but rather someone special to spend my time with. See I look at relationships probably in a different way from most people. I don't want to be with just anyone. They gotta be special. What can I say I'm a true romantic. For example the last guy I was talking to, ended up being so confused about himself and what he wanted. He acted really stupid one night and when I asked him about it, he couldn't give me an answer. I know I need someone who at least understands what they are feeling. So basically I can look at this ability of mine and be thankful or I can dread it. Most of the time I'm thankful but sometimes I wish I wasn't so aware about things. The point I'm trying to make here is that with every situation, you have the opportunity to respond in any way you'd like. And just because something is happending doesnt mean you have to react to it. Now this is a new way of looking at things. The next time you start feeling whatever you are feeling ask yourself why you are feeling it? I know this sounds stupid but seriously, most people don't know. They het so caught up in their emotions they act so irrational.
You also seem really concerned with what others thing and how the world operates and if you fit in...blah blah blah. Do you realy care that much? I mean its obvious they haven't arrived where you are. And they have a lot of growing to do. I know wxactly how you feel about this because guess what...I'm 19 and I already know all this. Scary isn't it? The difference between you and I is that I don't let this get me down I use it to my advantage, kind of like I am now by giving you advice. =)Like I said its all about the choices we make. You also stated that people want false partners...and I do find that is true as well. But those people who are fake and also those who desire such falseness, don't really know themselves yet.
Well I guess what I am trying to say is that you are not alone. There are others like yourself...I am not even a Cancer so I don't think its a "cancer thing" My friend who I said gave me advice in the previous letter is a cancer too and he feels he can really read others all too well also. So hang in there. I hope this helps you or at least encourages you to look at yourself and the world a little differently.

Thanx for your replies. I usually work things out myself and dont know why i even wrote the first message but i dont think ive been doing a good job lately. Thank you for your perspective. Im trying, the harder i try, the harder it gets. But i havent backed down yet, Somethings gotta give.

I AGREE WITH YOU COMPLETELY. ALTHOUGH WE CAN GET OUR REVENGE FOR HATEFUL ACTS, WE CAN'T DO IT ALL THE TIME. ONLY WHEN WE ARE PUSHED TO FAR.

I couldn't agree w/ you more. I will be 22 in a few weeks.From one cancer to another, we were born to rule the world.Watch out for them scorpio chicks!!

Wazamada Mike - your not skeered of a little ole Scorpio girl like myself, now are ya? Little big headed of yourself to think you "rule the world" now isent it? Little stuck up maybe? Guess what, your kaka has the same odor as anyone elses. And guess what? Aint nobody "better" than any other human being that walks this earth. So, you assert you can "read" people, eh? Well, so can I. But I dont think I "rule the world" and "am better" than anyone else. Thats just sad. Cuz you know what? I know lots of Cancers, men and women. Love 'em to death. Sensitive souls. Like myself. But strong and powerful within. Like myself. But no one sign, or person, is superior to any other. Just because you think, as you are entitled to, that you are more "enlightened" than others, does not qualify you as superior. You sound like a nice person. Maybe you've had a bad experience with a Scorpio girl. Yea, we're deep. But the stereotype is gettin a little old. Maybe you just arent secure enough within yourself to deal with a strong woman no matter what her horoscope sign—— Peace and love....

Dear TV,
Ditto!!!!!!!!!!

my brother is a scopio, my ex-girlfriend is a scorpio,cancers and scorpios are very much alike, except that scorpios are very into themselves and out for themselves, they can override their feelings to get what they want, if cancers could do that on a regular basis you would see the similarities. Our heart overrides logic and thier logic overrides thier heart(sometimes). Niether one is better, we both get what we want, we just go about it differently. But watch out for those scorpio chicks!!!! HaHa