currently getting over a Cancer

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t_h32
@t_h32
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 2
I'm a Pisces and we were on and off for about 4 years. Ran into him and his new girlfriend turns out I know her because she used to date my friend. Anyway, he just disappeared on me for a few months, got a new girl and oddly enough I'm seeing him around more and more. (annoying). I try to avoid him but we have so many mutual friends and he just acts like everything is cool. He says hi to me and tries to give me a hug and stuff, mind you we didn't have any closure, so my problem is......what should I do to get over him because I'm sure he will try and contact me sooner or later and seeing him out all the time just doesn't help.
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t_h32
@t_h32
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 2
Posted by StarChild63
Why did he disappear? That's awful I'm sorry. Sometimes you need to just know that it is over and use that as closure. When he comes for hugs what does he say?


It's pretty terrible LOL he just comes up to me and says hi and tries to give me this side hug meanwhile I'm not even looking at him because I can't stand him at this point. I think it's unnecessary for him to even come up to me and say hi. The way I see it is, you moved on so don't act fake towards me.
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t_h32
@t_h32
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 2
Posted by StarChild63
Yea just shut the door. No problems he just disappeared? That doesn't sound right at all something sounds way off. You don't need a piece of shot like that. Maybe he's that dude that goes around and dates just to compensate for his shortcomings. Either way fuck him this is your closure.
Thanks so much for your piece of advice. I've been trying my best to keep my mind occupied, I just feel used and abused even though that's not the case. I'm a loyal person so even when I'm not dating so it's hard to just drop people out of my life!
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kissmygrits
@kissmygrits
14 Years5,000+ PostsCancer

Comments: 298 · Posts: 5049 · Topics: 48
He sounds like a crappy person. He's probably going to treat that girl like crap too. Maybe this is good riddance for your happiness sake. I think you deserve more. Hugs.

Getting over someone will take time. To me the more you point out what doesn't make you happy will help you move on. I would also stay busy. Have any volunteer groups in your town? An improv comedy troup? Get busy being awesome! 🙂
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Arki
@Arki
12 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 3
T-h32,I' m sorry for you but your cancer boy it is in first stage of infatuation with the partner business. I think he admire that girl.. And like I said always , with this boy , cancer boy or man , you have to put a foundation of relationships not love.. They scare love, but relationships they adore , And slow, slow, you put a hand of them..They want to know , feel that they belongs to someone, without presssure ..
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t_h32
@t_h32
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 2
Posted by kissmygrits
He sounds like a crappy person. He's probably going to treat that girl like crap too. Maybe this is good riddance for your happiness sake. I think you deserve more. Hugs.

Getting over someone will take time. To me the more you point out what doesn't make you happy will help you move on. I would also stay busy. Have any volunteer groups in your town? An improv comedy troup? Get busy being awesome! 🙂
you've got that right. He's leeching off of his new gf at her mom's house and that says a lot about his character. So, from here on out I will be better than yesterday. I will be keeping myself busy working and focusing on my school this quarter.
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t_h32
@t_h32
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 2
Posted by boxcarmirnta
Sucks hard...also a Pisces..mine was super into me then decided he still loved his ex and abandoned me and all out plans..brutal. Get as far away as you can.
I'm sorry that happened to you, I figured this guy got into a new relationship because the girl he's with now is dependent on him. Cancer men or even men in general with self issues love women like that, it boosts their egos. They will contact us sooner or later, by that time comes we will be far on in life happier and stronger 🙂
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t_h32
@t_h32
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 2
Posted by cappygirl11
Ok it's been a month and a week without any communication from him. He won't even tell me if it's over. I'm gonna officially accept it as over. Now I got to deal with getting over a cancer
He honestly probably doesn't even want it to be over because the thing is, they like to drift and start new relations with other people knowing they have another person on the back burner. They tend to hate ending relationships and try to avoid it as much as possible. This guy didn't even tell me it was over, I found out by seeing him with his new girlfriend LOL pathetic.
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t_h32
@t_h32
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 2
Posted by Arki
T-h32,I' m sorry for you but your cancer boy it is in first stage of infatuation with the partner business. I think he admire that girl.. And like I said always , with this boy , cancer boy or man , you have to put a foundation of relationships not love.. They scare love, but relationships they adore , And slow, slow, you put a hand of them..They want to know , feel that they belongs to someone, without presssure ..
You're definitely right about that one. We were never in love, we never were serious we took things slow within those four years we definitely had an emotional connection but i was afraid to even initiate a serious relationship with him because he just seemed like he still wanted to be free and do whatever he wants. So now with his new girlfriend, she's the opposite of me. She let him move in with her and her mom and now they're living "Happily ever after" lol
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StarChild63
@StarChild63
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1190 · Topics: 29
^ you just answered your own question. You were afraid to initiate a real relationship because of what you "thought". She obviously isn't afraid. This reminds me of my friend ad her new dude vs the old dude. You should read my thread that says update. Cancers like to see potential in the relationship having a happy ending or they want to see a happy ending. If you were that fearful for 4 YEARS he probably saw no happy ending in site and your romance will always be blocked by your fears or your assumptions. The new woman probably doesn't fear and just let's it happen. That makes a hugeeeeeeeee difference when it comes down to giving and receiving love. My friend was miserable with the old dude. She would always try to do nice things and he either didn't appreciate it or was too scared to make a move. Now the new dude doesn't hesitate for anything and she is happy he is happy. Her behavior id totally different.
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StarChild63
@StarChild63
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1190 · Topics: 29
If I'm right about what I said then he doesn't see any betrayal. He sees-I stuck it out for 4 years and she wasn't making me happy and she never really took me serious or was really open to me loving her or her loving me because she's scared of love because of her past. You probably gave him no choice but to move on. I used to think my friend was the sane way you think your cancer is like but I learned they give you time to be decent in a relationship but they end up moving on if you are so far away from your emotions or serious emotional lack. They will understand you but eventually that lack will make them sad because it's hard to go with the flow with someone who really can't. I thought my friend was emotionally unavailable until I saw her with a man whose emotionally open and no she is far from emotionally unavailable. It just took the type that can go with the flow without fear to see that. She is very selective about who she gives her emotions and time to and who she doesn't. If she wasn't she would be wasting a lot of those deep love emotions for no good reason. He probably stopped taking you seriously years ago.
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t_h32
@t_h32
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 2
Posted by StarChild63
If I'm right about what I said then he doesn't see any betrayal. He sees-I stuck it out for 4 years and she wasn't making me happy and she never really took me serious or was really open to me loving her or her loving me because she's scared of love because of her past. You probably gave him no choice but to move on. I used to think my friend was the sane way you think your cancer is like but I learned they give you time to be decent in a relationship but they end up moving on if you are so far away from your emotions or serious emotional lack. They will understand you but eventually that lack will make them sad because it's hard to go with the flow with someone who really can't. I thought my friend was emotionally unavailable until I saw her with a man whose emotionally open and no she is far from emotionally unavailable. It just took the type that can go with the flow without fear to see that. She is very selective about who she gives her emotions and time to and who she doesn't. If she wasn't she would be wasting a lot of those deep love emotions for no good reason. He probably stopped taking you seriously years ago



Your friends situation sounds similar, but we never made any serious because whenever I would call him he just wouldn't answer and he'd come back months later pretending everything is okay. It was a bad cycle and I should've ended it a long long time ago and whenever I'd see him out, he would ignore me. Having nothing to do with me opening up to him, plus who would want to open up to someone that doesn't reply to their texts until
Months later.